Meeting New People: The First Message

Written by JosephJuly 17, 2014

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When searching through an online list of names and pictures on dating sites, you may find a couple of people you want to talk to, but don’t because you’re afraid of saying the wrong thing or coming off too strong. The truth is, you can’t just sit around waiting for things to happen to you, […]

When searching through an online list of names and pictures
on dating sites, you may find a couple of people you want to talk to, but don’t
because you’re afraid of saying the wrong thing or coming off too strong. The
truth is, you can’t just sit around waiting for things to happen to you, and
it’s time you took an active part in your own happiness. Go out there and talk
to someone you find interesting, send them a message, and see where it goes. If
you’re worried about what to write in order to create the perfect first
message, then don’t worry because we’ve got you covered:

Don’t Mention Looks

When you comment on someone’s appearance before you’ve ever
met them in person, it comes off as kind of creepy. Stick to more general
comments on other aspects of their profile. Like if their description says
“poet” you could say that you find that very interesting, and go on to ask them
about the kind of poetry they write. Steer away from things like, “wow your
picture is so stunning”, or “I can’t stop thinking about your eyes.” It’s weird
and nobody will take you seriously. You could drop a slight hint somewhere, but
that’s the extent of it. Stick to other aspects of their personalities, and try
to get them engaged in a good conversation.

Be Eloquent

Nobody’s asking you to compose a sonnet, but at least use
proper spellings and grammar. Chat speak is to be avoided at all costs, unless
you’ve made it painfully obvious that it’s being used ironically. Actually,
even then, just stay away from it. Nobody will respond well to “u r such a qt”
so make sure you properly type out each word, and say something a little more
meaningful. You have to understand that pick-up lines never work, and instead
of wasting so much time crafting a perfectly “smooth” line, just write out something
sincere and sweet. If you ever catch yourself typing out the question, “top or
bottom?” it’s time to disconnect your wi-fi and live out the rest of your days
as a pariah to society.

Use a Gentle Approach

You’re here to date someone. You know it, he knows it, we
know it; but that doesn’t mean you have to get right to it and ask a suggestive
question like “how big are your feet?” because that just makes the other guy
feel uneasy. People don’t appreciate being objectified, and it always helps to
broach the topic as gently as possible. Start out with a nice “what are your
plans this weekend?” and then lead in with “maybe we could meet for coffee or
something?” Whatever your message is, just be sure to not be too direct and
scare the person off.

Guys looking for hookups don’t waste their times on dating
sites, they go to bars and sign up for apps specifically designed for that.
People here are looking for real relationships, and that’s what you should keep
in mind when messaging someone. Is this something that could turn into a
serious relationship? A good marriage never started with “how many inches?”
always remember that. 

Sponsored by GAY DATING SOLUTIONS (+Gay Dating Soltions)  – Where Gay Men Meet Life Partners and True Friends.

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