Who says you can’t have your cake and eat it too? In the gay dating world, an open relationship is fairly common, and for many couples, it feels perfectly natural and entirely feasible. For others, the idea of knowing that your partner will be with someone else is totally unacceptable – emotional and physical intimacy are things that should only happen between two monogamous partners, and anything else is not a real committed relationship. An open relationship is a curious beast, and there are couples who have made it work, other couples who love the idea but find the reality to be vastly different, and other couples who seem to have made significant sacrifices in order to have an open relationship.
Don’t Friend Your Date… Yet
Clean Up Your Facebook Profile
Do You Research
When it comes to online dating, we’re complete advocates for doing a little light stalking pre-meetup. Do a quick Google search of your guy and check out his social media accounts. We’re not saying come prepared to recite from memory his favorite movies and TV shows—skim over that stuff, and instead check for red flags like legal trouble or offensive tweets. This is where your own reverse image search could come in handy as well. Just make sure you don’t friend or request anyone you haven’t met in real life yet. That way, your information will be kept private (While you can keep your personal social accounts private, chances are your potential online matches are scrutinizing your dating profiles
Meet in the Real World
Avoid Relationship Status Limbo
Delete Your Grindr
Know When to Unfriend
Erase Past Relationships
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Yes, it can feel awkward going to these things by yourself at first, but the more you do it, then the more liberated you will feel. By doing these things because you want to rather than because someone else is willing to go with you, you will not only get comfortable being alone, but you will also feel more free and empowered in your own life.
2. Go on a vacation alone.
I seriously can’t recommend this enough. When we go on vacation alone, two main things happen: A) We learn to really focus on ourselves and our own needs. So if you really don’t feel like going to that one museum by the end of the day, so what?! The decision is all on you. And B) We learn to really get comfortable reaching out to other travelers or locals for help. Any shyness goes out the window quickly!
As a result, we can find ourselves feeling so much more in control of our lives, more aware of ourselves (I mean, how can we not if we’re not around someone else 24/7?) and more empowered by feeling like we can literally do and tackle anything!
3. Find things that you enjoy doing… then go do them! Did you used to love dancing, but you’ve stopped in the last few years? Start doing it again! Did you used to love keeping a garden, painting or working out? Then find time to do it!
Reflect back on all the things that you used to enjoy doing in your life — as a young kid, a teenager, even just a few years ago. Write all these things down on a list and make it a goal to start doing them again!
4. Do something you’ve always wanted to do, but haven’t done. Is there anything you’ve always dreamed of doing, but you haven’t give yourself the opportunity to do it? This could be learning how to shoot a gun, how to speak a new language, how to play piano, how to play the guitar, etc. It may also not have to do with learning anything at all, but to just go somewhere and do something. Like to go hiking in a certain place or to go to a nearby beach or hot springs. Maybe it means to go to a certain shop that you haven’t yet been to or try a certain massage place that a friend has recommended.
Whatever it is, identify it and start looking up classes or ways that you can do these things!
5. Shower yourself with “gifts.” In other words, become a “self-care master.” So make yourself a healthy home-cooked meal. Give yourself a relaxing bath filled with epsom salts, essential oils, candles and soothing music. Go on daily walks in nature. Read a book from one of your favorite authors. Buy yourself some of your favorite flowers.
Give yourself things that you love and enjoy because you deserve it! When we shower ourselves with gifts, we shower ourselves with the love we have for ourselves.
1. Lock Eyes With Your Target
2. Break The Ice
3. Body Language
4. Your In, Now Get Out!
2576 Aurora Avenue North
A dining institution dating back to 1950, Canlis is that special restaurant for a birthday, anniversary, or any other celebratory moment you want to remember. For visitors, especially self-proclaimed foodies, it’s one to check off your bucket list. The 180-degree views of the skyline, Lake Union and Cascade Mountains are precious, while the menu featuring traditional meat and seafood entrees is sensational. The Canlis, the family that has owned and operated the place since it opened, were profiled on season 10 episode 4 of the Emmy-winning series, Top Chef.
2208 Queen Anne Avenue North
James Beard Award nominee Ethan Stowell, brother of former professional ballet dancer Christopher Stowell, owns restaurants througout the Emerald City, including this Upper Queen Anne eatery known for its rustic Italian and Mediterranean-influenced small plates with seasonal ingredients. No-frills dishes, like grilled baby octopus and bruschetta with smoked salmon, are absolutely delicious, yet even better are the handmade pastas, particularly the gnochi topped with beef cheek bolognese, oregano, mint and parmigiano-reggiano.
1600 Post Alley
Billing itself as “The Heart of France in the heart of Seattle,” this charming bistro is the perfect spot to feast on escargots, steak frites, quiche, croque monsieur, roasted half chicken and anything else you’ve had (or dream of having) at a rustic Southern French cafe. La Campagne serves breakfast, lunch, dinner, and weekend brunch, as well as an excellent list of wines from the Bordeaux, Rhone, and Loire Valley regions.
3506 Stone Way North
Now relocated in Fremont, previously in Wallingford, this well reviewed Korean-fusion restaurant offers such sumptuous choices as black rice risotto, spicy rice cake, kalbi burger, smoked tofu, and mackerel served alongside green curry cilantro chimichurri and black currant. Don’t plan on skipping dessert, not when a milk chocolate mousse with sesame cake, miso caramel, and peanut is up for grabs.