Gay Relationship: Warning Signs of a Break Up

It’s sometimes difficult to know when a gay relationship is over even when it’s obvious. These warning signs deserve your attention.

 

Is your relationship falling apart in front of your very own eyes? It’s always difficult to know when a gay relationship is over but sometimes the answer is right in front of you, you just need it to be pointed out.

You’re failing to communicate.

Communication is so essential to any relationship, that the lack thereof can be a sign that the relationship is on its way out. Are either of you no longer talking about issues or communicating about things that bother you? That is a huge sign that one of you has checked out.

Failing to communicate will leave a big void in your relationship and cause minor problems to spiral into unnecessary issues. Try going for an afternoon walk or book a table at your local restaurant, with no distractions the conversation should flow more easily. If it proves to be difficult and it becomes apparent that you simply just don’t care anymore then you know what to do.

 

You’re off sex.

Having a healthy sex life and one that suits both your libidos and sexual desires is important for every relationship, but if your bedroom time has gone from exciting and experimental to dull and repetitive then it’s time to decide why.

If your sex life has gone from 60 to 0, it is a bad sign that your relationship is on the fritz. A little ebb and flow of desire is normal, but if one of you has lost the desire completely (without any underlying medical condition involved) it is time to end it.

If you’re not quite ready to call it a day, try bringing the zing back to your sexy time with a new sex position, or introduce sex toys into the mix. If you’re both still not jumping into the bedroom then maybe your relationship is more suited to being just a friendship?

He’s too busy for you.

Is your man busy that you haven’t seen him in weeks? Is your boyfriend turning into a workaholic? Red flag.

He always spent a lot of time at the office, but now he seems to have work events every other night. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it sounds like he’s avoiding you.

When you stop being happy. 

This seems basic, because it is.

Do you see any mention of “him” here? No. Some people might disagree with me on this, but when you stop being happy, you are in a completely valid place to end things. Relationships — like life itself — are meant to be enjoyed, not suffered through. Even if he’s the perfect guy, sometimes you’re simply not happy, and you are doing him a disservice by continuing the relationship. No one wants to date someone who isn’t happy dating them.

When he stops being happy. 

My last relationship ended this way. He was unhappy.

It is incredibly painful to let someone go, someone you love and want to stay with. But if you really love him, you want him to be the happiest person he can be — even if that means letting him be single or be with someone else.

Love isn’t about possession or ownership. You cannot ever really belong to someone, just as someone cannot every really belong to you. Love at its simplest and purest is about wanting someone to be their best, and hoping their day is going better than yours.

You’re not emotionally connected anymore.

You’re indifferent to your partner’s feelings and thoughts. You may pretend to care about your boyfriend, but deep inside, you know you don’t really give a damn about what your partner is feeling or what they’re up to. You love your partner, but you don’t want to involve yourself so deep that you have to play a part in making them feel better about themselves.

You can’t see a future together.

There are no talks about the future between the both of you. And your partner no longer plays a pivotal role in your big scheme of things. If there are any thoughts on the future, the last person you think of is your significant other!

Your partner saps your energy.

You feel drained, annoyed and tired after spending time with your partner. You try to have a nice time with them, but the constant arguments and differences in opinions just tires you and makes you want to run away mid-conversation.

 

You pick fights.

Picking fights with your loved one is a sign of irritation and unfortunately, the beginning of the end. We often tend to start picking fights when we feel a relationship is at its end. We try to get the other guy do the dirty work and break it off.

So if the small things that never used to bother you are now more infuriating than cute, it’s time to move on to someone where you can spend your time snogging rather then arguing.

When they have fallen for someone else.

If he tells you honestly about his feelings, be understanding and decide what to do. Be grateful for his honesty. Chances are you’re going to break up, but many couples I know have managed to make allowances for these things: The third guy becomes part of their polyamorous setup, or partners simply let their boyfriends do what they need to do, understanding that different people satisfy you in different ways. But no one will fault you for feeling that things need to end.

As you can see, communication is the key to handling clean, easy breakups. Put the plates down and lower your voice. Do not go into a breakup situation with the intent of hurting someone. Although there are often endless reasons to leave someone, there is no need to hurt them.

Good luck with the breakup. Take a few months to yourself. The next person is just around the corner, waiting for you to run into him when you least expect it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

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A Gay Man’s Guide to Surviving a Big Break-up

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Breaking up is hard to do, but the few weeks after are even harder. Cutting things off with someone you treasured is heartbreaking, while keeping him around can keep one or both of you stuck in the relationship. Here, three popular options for dealing with your ex after a break-up, how they actually play out—and what they mean for your mental health.

Post-Breakup Strategy #1: The Cold Cut It’s a case of “out of sight, out of mind,” as you completely cut off communication.
A case history: “I was crushed when a guy I was dating for a year broke up with me and said he didn’t want to talk anymore,” says Jay, who works in finance in New York. “I was depressed and felt it was really unfair. But after a while, I did meet someone else. I know now I needed such a clean break, because it helped me move on. I didn’t have any false hopes—I just built myself back up.”
Why this strategy works: Sounds brutal, but it’s popular for a reason. “From a psychological perspective, this is the healthiest strategy, particularly if you’ve been cheated on,” says Joseph Taravella, Ph.D., a couple’s therapist at NYU Medical Center. Taravella says that it’s not an easy choice to stick to, but it pays off by letting you move on. He recommends asking your friends and family to help you stay busy—it’ll help you feel fulfilled and loved, which you need after a breakup. Staying in touch with your ex gives him the power to still hurt you, even if you’re not together—you may still reel when he has a new boyfriend or hold out hope that things will work out. “The patients who take the ‘clean break’ approach generally make faster adjustments and move forward with their lives,” says Taravella. “As a result, they tend to carry less baggage into their next relationship.”

Post-Breakup Strategy #2: The Friend Zone You’re not going to be lovers anymore, but you’ll try to be pals.
A case history: Ed, a writer in New York, has remained friends with his ex-boyfriend of six years, with whom he broke up a year ago. While he appreciates having his ex’s friendship, Ed admits that their emotional intimacy even now makes it hard for him to move on. “I can’t say it’s been easy,” he says. “He started dating two months after we broke up, and I didn’t. It’s not that I wish we were together, but it does get awkward when, say, he wants to bring his new boyfriend to dinner. I’ve vowed to spend a little more time apart from him so I can meet someone, too.”
Why this strategy works: It’s a nice idea, but Taravella warns against this strategy as a means of deluding yourself: “Many people do this when they still have feelings for the other person,” he says. “They hope that, over time, they’ll get back together. But if it didn’t work the first time around, it often won’t the second time.” Partners doing the dumping also like this because it helps them feel less guilty, but it keeps the dumpee hanging on. Still, it’s natural to want a place in your life for someone with whom you shared so much. Many exes find they can be friends—but only once they’ve both moved on so one doesn’t feel judged or rejected by the other person’s dating behaviors. “It generally it takes time for people to get to this place,” says Taravella. A better idea? Take a temporary no-plans-together break, then rebuild the friendship once you’re both comfortable with the relationship’s demise.

Post-Breakup Strategy #3: Exes With Benefits You’re no longer dating, but you still hook up sometimes.
A case history: “I broke up with my boyfriend six months ago, and we’ve been hooking up a couple of times a month since,” says Tim, who works in the entertainment business in Los Angeles. But what he thought was a no-strings attachment turned out to have several threads from their ruined relationship. “I met this new guy, and we started having sex, too. So I told my ex about it, and he got mad. He said I should have told him first. I didn’t know that was part of the deal. I’d think twice about sleeping with an ex again.”
Why this strategy works: Think you’re signing on for an easy booty call? Think again. One person’s mindless sex can be his partner’s proof that the love is alive. “Emotional attachments linger after breakups, and it’s difficult for many people to separate their feelings from sex,” says Taravella. “More times than not, one person is left feeling alone, abandoned, and hurt.” After all, if someone’s told you you’re not good enough to date, why settle for being only good enough to sleep with him? Not only does one person usually think the relationship’s still ongoing, but it makes it difficult for both of you when one person wants out—then you have to deal with another breakup. And it also doesn’t leave you free to date other people and begin sexual relationships with them without baggage. “Ex sex may satisfy certain ‘needs’ in the short-term, but it’s never a good idea,” says Taravella. Now that you know the pros and cons of these three common scenarios, you can proceed with the best chances of a full and speedy recovery should you have a breakup in the future.

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101