Gay Relationships: 5 Ways to Find Yourself After a Bad Breakup

Feeling lost after a bad breakup? While time does eventually heal all wounds, there are some specific things we can do to find our footing again. Here are five ways to find yourself after a bad breakup.

1. Take yourself on dates. Want to go see the latest movie? Take yourself to the movie theater. Have a favorite restaurant you haven’t been letting yourself go to by yourself? Just go! Want to spend some time at your favorite coffee shop? Take yourself.

Yes, it can feel awkward going to these things by yourself at first, but the more you do it, then the more liberated you will feel. By doing these things because you want to rather than because someone else is willing to go with you, you will not only get comfortable being alone, but you will also feel more free and empowered in your own life.

2. Go on a vacation alone. 
I seriously can’t recommend this enough. When we go on vacation alone, two main things happen: A) We learn to really focus on ourselves and our own needs. So if you really don’t feel like going to that one museum by the end of the day, so what?! The decision is all on you. And B) We learn to really get comfortable reaching out to other travelers or locals for help. Any shyness goes out the window quickly!

As a result, we can find ourselves feeling so much more in control of our lives, more aware of ourselves (I mean, how can we not if we’re not around someone else 24/7?) and more empowered by feeling like we can literally do and tackle anything!
So, wherever it is that you want to go — Europe, Asia, Mexico, Brazil or maybe even just the a few hundred miles away — wherever it is, make plans and go do it!

3. Find things that you enjoy doing… then go do them! Did you used to love dancing, but you’ve stopped in the last few years? Start doing it again! Did you used to love keeping a garden, painting or working out? Then find time to do it!

Reflect back on all the things that you used to enjoy doing in your life — as a young kid, a teenager, even just a few years ago. Write all these things down on a list and make it a goal to start doing them again!

4. Do something you’ve always wanted to do, but haven’t done. Is there anything you’ve always dreamed of doing, but you haven’t give yourself the opportunity to do it? This could be learning how to shoot a gun, how to speak a new language, how to play piano, how to play the guitar, etc. It may also not have to do with learning anything at all, but to just go somewhere and do something. Like to go hiking in a certain place or to go to a nearby beach or hot springs. Maybe it means to go to a certain shop that you haven’t yet been to or try a certain massage place that a friend has recommended.

Whatever it is, identify it and start looking up classes or ways that you can do these things!

5. Shower yourself with “gifts.” In other words, become a “self-care master.” So make yourself a healthy home-cooked meal. Give yourself a relaxing bath filled with epsom salts, essential oils, candles and soothing music. Go on daily walks in nature. Read a book from one of your favorite authors. Buy yourself some of your favorite flowers.

Give yourself things that you love and enjoy because you deserve it! When we shower ourselves with gifts, we shower ourselves with the love we have for ourselves.

Take action now!
In the comments below, share at least one of the things from the list above that you are going to (or at least plan to do) for yourself this week!

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Creative Ways to Breakup with Your Jerk Boyfriend

Breaking up is hard to do, well, almost. Ending a relationship doesn’t always have to be nice. Sometimes boy toys are just plain idiots and need to be taught a lesson.
The trick to a great breakup is turning it into a symbol. If it was an awkward relationship, make it as engaging a breakup as you can. If you were the submissive one during the relationship, get your power back by delivering a power-hungry breakup.
Don’t just leave a boring text message. If you truly want to end with a bang, make sure your breakup is one of epic proportions. Here are a few ideas that have come across our attention by people who have shared their experiences and by those who wish they could turn back time.

Hire A Singing Telegram
This is an epic breakup scene. Not only does it give him false hope that you’re doing something “romantic,” but it also has the ability to embarrass him in front of his pretentious friends and knock him off his high horse.
Singing telegram services have multiple costumes for their performers. Make sure it’s a good one, i.e. cupid, an impersonator, drag queen, Disney character, preferably something with a positive image so the message will be more brutal. Be sure you give the singing messenger a big tip.

Quote A Movie
If words leave you, and all else fails, use a quote from a movie. You can either say it in person or write it on a note. It’s always best to have it be a movie they know, better yet, one you’ve watched several times together. Here are a few of my faves:
  • Annie Hall: “A relationship, I think, is like a shark. You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.”
  • Legally Blonde: “If I want to be a Senator, I need to marry a Jackie, not a Marilyn.”
  • Superstar: “I made up a new dance, its called Get On With Your Life”
  • Social Network: “You are probably going to be a very successful computer person. But you’re going to go through life thinking that [guys] don’t like you because you’re a nerd. And I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that that won’t be true. It’ll be because you’re an asshole.”
  • Brokeback Mountain [with a twist]: “I, in fact, do know how to quit you.”

Public Embarrassment At A Gay Bar
If you call him out publicly, chances are he will be too embarrassed to fight back, especially if you can rally the whole bar against him. List everything he’s done, scream it so everyone will hear, and then end with, “What do you think guys, should I break up with him?!”
A friend of mine did this, after which a slew of drag queens, bartenders, and drunk shirtless guys screamed back, “Yes Honey! Dump his Ass!” leading to pandemonium. This is always an epic story to tell your friends. If it’s a place you and your boy go to often, even better!

Have A “Break Up” Shot
If you know a bartender or bar owner, have them make a special drink for you and your (soon to be) ex-boyfriend and call it the “Break Up” shot. When he brings it to you guys, have him specifically say it. If your boy doesn’t get it, break it down for him, and leave him to pay the bill.

A “Care” Package
Have a beautiful care package waiting for him when he gets home that looks like it’s full of fun things, including his favorite candies.
Provide a Hallmark card explaining you’re” just not into him anymore,” and if he needs help grieving to read the self-help books you’ve provided. Have the package be full of breakup books, boxes of Kleenex, a couple of tear-jerking movies, and anything else that one might need to get through a night of crying. Finish it off with a list of phone numbers of some good therapists in the area.

Blame It On Him
Most people would say, “It’s not you. It’s me.” Forget that! Don’t blame it on yourself, instead blame it on him. Have a thorough breakdown of their faults, characteristics and attributes that annoy you and link them to specific examples. Touch his face gently, look at him in the eye and after you give these points, say, “So really… it’s not me. It’s you.”

Change Your Facebook Status
Change your status and don’t tell him. When he finds out – whether it’s through his own discovery or by his friends – respond with no remorse. This is totally low blow, so make sure he truly deserves it. It’s always a treat to see how many “likes” you get before he finally notices.
Blame It On The Alcohol
“Now that I’m sober, I think we need to break up” is always a fun line to say or write in a card. Offer an incentive, i.e. a bottle of champagne with a note saying “I thought you might need this.” If you’re relationship was solely based on sex or partying, using alcohol in your breakup speech is always a good idea. Not only will it make him think, but it adds insult to injury.

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!

Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

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It’s Over! ― 10 Breakup Survival Tips to Get You Through It

Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? Lost love is never an easy thing to get over. So much energy spent investing in him, daydreaming about the future, smiling for no reason makes it’s hard to face the fact it was all wasted time. But the truth of the matter is it was never wasted. Whether you think so or not, loss creates a foundation that makes us stronger and wiser.
I’ve lost love, and it was one of the most difficult things I’ve gone through – surprisingly difficult. What shocked me the most was how it affected all aspects of my life, even the way I spoke. It wiped me out like a tornado scattering pieces of my heart to the ground, and all I could do was try and find them, try to recognize myself in the mirror again. It’s easier said than done, but the only way to do it is to take baby steps by replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. Here’s how I did it:

#1) Remind yourself it’s their loss.

Just because you weren’t the one to end it doesn’t mean it’s your loss, though it’s easy to go there. Stop focusing on what you’re missing and realize that they made a mistake. It’s not your fault he couldn’t see a good thing when you were standing there offering him love. At the end of the day it has nothing to do with who’s better or not, and everything to do with the goodness he was stupid enough to reject. He’s the one that lost. Regain your value.

#2) Play it cool.

It’s easy to obsess over him as soon as he’s gone, but every time you feel like stalking him on Facebook, texting him, or finding out ways to be at the same place at the same time, take a step back and play it cool. It will get easier each day the more you remind yourself how valuable you are. You don’t need him to make you feel special because you already are special. There’s no reason to “check in” with him to be sure he hasn’t forgotten about you. Trust me, it’s okay. You cannot do these things when you’re emotionally vulnerable because you’ll always end up doing stupid things you’ll regret later. Play it cool.

#3) Don’t look at it as rejection.

Rejection is such an awful word because it makes you feel like a piece of trash – you were dumped, discarded, rejected. While it may hurt that he doesn’t feel the same way you do, in no way is it rejection. When the chemistry or compatibility isn’t there, you’ll be playing a meaningless game anyway. It’s not your fault! He didn’t reject you. He probably wasn’t ready for what you had to offer, and there’s nothing you can do about that. It takes two to create love.

#4) You can be sad, but don’t pity yourself.

You’re always going to have moments of weakness and sadness, times where tears will stream down your cheeks and you don’t know why. But it’s important to not let sadness turn into pity. You cannot dwell on it, otherwise you will fall into a habit of feeling sorry for yourself, which will unconsciously push the world away from you when right now you need to bring it closer.

#5) Gain some perspective.

There are worse things in the world. If you feel sorry for yourself, turn on the news, go to the ICU of a hospital, or visit any kind of trauma unit. People are dying, losing their parents, living in areas where war is constant, starving and going without water for weeks. At least in your situation, you are able to snap out of it. Not everyone can be so lucky. Gain some much-needed perspective on the situation and change your tune.

#6) Stop talking about him to people.

The more you bring him up in conversation, the longer you will keep his spirit alive. Tell your friends not to bring him up – those who’ve also experienced a broken heart will know how important it is to do this. But the real test is up to you. Unplug him from your mind so you can start the process of detoxing the feelings away. Stop talking about it – words are powerful.

#7) Throw yourself back into friends and work.

Distraction is important during this time, especially when you find yourself getting buried with grief and sadness. You need to replace the negativity with more positive inflow, and eventually the good will replace the bad. It might take a while but you’ll soon start to recognize your old self again; and when you do, trust me, you’ll be much stronger.

#8) Be happy because you know you’re capable of loving someone else.

Be grateful in knowing that your heart is capable for loving another human being. Years ago you probably were questioning yourself, but now you know different. It doesn’t matter if it didn’t work out. There are plenty of other guys who can offer the same things he can but in multitudes of ways. Be happy you know what love feels like so that you’ll recognize it when it appears again.

#9) Stop daydreaming that it’s going to work out eventually.

None of us know what will happen to us, but that’s never an excuse to hold onto past dreams. Our future changes each and every day based on the information/decisions we make presently – the present information you have is that he isn’t interested in starting anything serious, so why plan your future around that? You cannot hang on to it. You must live your life without clenching too hard on ideas that most likely won’t happen.

#10) The future is unwritten.

Your future is unwritten, which means it’s up to you to plan. There are endless possibilities waiting for you, but you never will if you dwell on disappointments and pity parties. Lift your head. Open your eyes. Your future is bright and it’s time to welcome happiness again. Start your day with positive messages and deliver enthusiasm to everyone. Leave the past beneath the ground and rise to meet the sun.

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!

Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!
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