Dating Again? 5 Tips for Every Single Gay Man

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Being a single gay man is not the worst thing in the world. You have the time to do the activities you enjoy without compromise; you have the freedom to go on as many dates/hook-ups as possible; you don’t have to worry about someone else’s social media activity. But regardless of all the reasons you can come up with to feel good about being single, you may be secretly hoping that your soul mate is right around the corner. So while you enjoy the wonders of being single, here are the top 5 things every single gay man needs to do in preparation for meeting his other half.

5. Have a sense of humor
The gay man is known among his group of friends for his witty observations, sarcastic comebacks and brutal honesty. So chances are you already have a sense of humor, which will come in handy when you go on a date. Mainly because all single gay men will inevitably experience their fair share of weird, awkward and just plain bad dates, and a good sense of humor will help you recover from the disastrous dates. And also because a good sense of humor makes you attractive and fun when you meet a potential match.

4. Work on your physical appearance
Let’s be honest here. A gay man on a date will judge you by your looks. And you can’t blame him; he hasn’t had a chance to get to know your amazing personality yet, so the first impression he’ll have about you is the size of your waist and your fabulous outfit. Make sure you have a gym membership (and actually show up to the gym regularly), and also work on your personal style.

3. Be a good listener
We all know you have a talent to enlighten and entertain a crowd with your passionate conversation, but it’s also important to let others enlighten and entertain you with theirs. So, once in a while, listen to what others have to say and be an active listener. Being an active listener means that you stay on topic and comment on what the other person is saying. When he’s telling you all about one of his exciting experiences, don’t interrupt him with a similar tale of your own. Most importantly, don’t throw in unrelated remarks or compliments. If all goes well, there will be plenty of time to compliment him on his good looks later when the clothes start to come off.

2. Embrace solitude
Now we’re getting to the serious stuff. Before someone else can enjoy your company, you need to learn to enjoy your own company. There’s a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. We want you to embrace being alone. There’s a good chance that most single gay men out there take advantage of the vibrant scene the city has to offer. But after all the fun, don’t be afraid to spend time with yourself. Do activities that bring personal satisfaction and make you happy. Once you feel comfortable in solitude and know all the insights of your life, you’re ready for the number one aspect you need to work on to put yourself on the dating market.

1. Nurture the most important relationship you could ever have, the one with yourself
Frankly, this is the only one that truly applies to everyone. Having a good relationship with yourself is the foundation to having a successful relationships with others. Start by embracing your strengths and weaknesses, then work on connecting with your own emotions. This will help you become emotionally available to your future partner. And like any other relationship, you should have respect, trust and love for yourself.

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

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Gay Dating 101: The Things You Should Never Talk About

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Dating is a lot of fun, but it also can be quite terrifying. We never know what’s going on inside his head, but we sure as hell can control what comes out of our mouths. Certain topics you might think are safe, for the most part, can end up sending you on a nosedive. Here are a few you should stay away from:


#1) Your Sex Position.

As much as you want to know if he’s a top or bottom, it’s not going to be very classy bringing it up on a date (especially the first one). It can be pretty tempting when you’ve had a few drinks between you, but try to keep the focus on building a connection that’s emotional.

#2) Your Sob Story.

No one wants to hear about how dysfunctional your family is, how your ex left you with nothing, or how sad or depressed you are because of x, y, z. The goal is to have FUN on a date, not make him (or you) sad. Keep the sob stories to yourself.

#3) Everything That Annoys You.

You don’t want to seem too bitchy at the beginning, so lay off the constant complaints about everything: the waiter, the food, your friends, the décor. This isn’t a reality show and you aren’t here to judge anything. Simply have a good time and embrace positivity.

#4) Yourself.

The point of a date is to get to know each other, sure, but there’s a fine line between letting him know who you are as a person and making it all about you: “I did this, I did that, I worked with so-and-so, I’m a big deal…” It can turn into a pitch real quick if you let it.

#5) Your Money Situation.

Money is something that shouldn’t be brought up other than a simple, “I’m comfortable” or “I’m still working my way up.” Frankly it’s no one’s business but your own when it comes to personal finances. More often than not we think it’s a make or break situation—if I don’t make X amount of money, he’ll lose interest, so I need to talk about it. Trust me, you don’t want to sell your bank account. You want to sell yourself.

#6) Your Failing Health.

Chronic illness sucks, but leave it at the hospital. Nothing squeezes the energy down quicker than someone bringing up their failing health on a date. It can either scare them away or make them feel incredibly awkward. There’s nothing to gain from talking about it.

#7) Your Exes.

Leave the past behind you, especially the men. Don’t bring up your crummy ex-relationship because it will only make you seem unavailable. You want him to know that you’re an open book and looking ahead to the future, rather than the past.

#8) Your Addictions.

You may have been addicted to sex, drugs, or pot. But wait a few dates before you tell him about it, especially the stories behind them. You might scare a man away if you tell him about the crazy sex encounter you had five years ago.

#9) Your Demands.

It’s okay to have non-negotiables, but for God’s sake at least wait until you know each other a little better before you present “the list.” He’s a man, not a customer service rep. Relish in an organic connection before you present a practical side of things.

#10) Your Corrections.

I’ve been on dates where guys feel the need to “correct” my wrongs. This is never a good idea. You don’t want to seem like a control freak, especially about small things like clothing options, restaurant choices, or how to kiss better. You’ll make him feel inadequate and judged. Leave it to yourself.

There’s a fine line between getting to know someone and digging a little too deep, so try to think before you speak. Don’t want to make him uncomfortable. Have you ever been asked an awkward question during a date? Are there any topics that would send you running for the hills?

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

College Dating Tips for Gay Men

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When you’re a gay student in college, you might feel like you have fewer options for finding a date compared to your heterosexual classmates. It’s true that there are certainly a few more challenges for dating within the gay community in college.
Some of the challenges with gay dating in college may have to do with the school you attend or the place where your college is located. For example, what if your school has a very small LGBT student population? What if you attend school in a small town with no gay bars? Meanwhile, students may also have to deal with prejudices or judgments from their classmates.
Whatever the case may be, don’t let those obstacles discourage you. Instead, be proactive about your dating life. The following are five ways for gay college students to improve their options on the dating scene.

College Dating Tips for Gay Men:

1. Join Advocacy Groups
One of the quickest and easiest ways to meet other gay students on campus is to join an advocacy group. Most colleges today have a Gay-Straight Alliance club, Gay Rights Advocacy Group or other student group that deals with LGBT issues. Check out which clubs your college has to offer and consider signing up. The more involved you get, the more you’ll get to know about the other people in your group to see if sparks fly with anyone. Being able to join groups with people who share similar interests or backgrounds is a huge advantage of attending college, so take advantage of it.

2. Find Gay-Friendly Local Businesses
Another way to meet other people in the LGBT community is to look for local bars, restaurants, cafes and shops which are particularly gay-friendly. This will be a snap in most urban areas, but you may have to do a little more research in smaller towns. The pay-off is worth it, though: these establishments are great places to not only meet potential matches – they also make a great location for a date.

3. Go Online
You can also put your dating life on the fast track with the help of online dating services. Students looking to use these sites to improve their love life will find that, although there are plenty of LGBT-only online dating services, some of the most popular sites among heterosexual students are actually just as effective.
You can also try GayDatingSolutions.com, which is a popular choice for gay singles.

4. Meet People Off Campus
One of the major challenges for some students is having a small LGBT student population at their school. For example, even at a liberal-leaning school like Rice University, less than 14% of students identify as something other than heterosexual (homosexual, bisexual, etc.). Therefore, you may need to venture off campus to find a potential date.
Try going to local gay bars or other gay-friendly establishments to strike up a conversation with potential matches. You can also join a group or club outside of school to widen your social circle a bit. It doesn’t have to be related to LGBT causes – just aim to meet new people. Even if you just make new friends, those friends may be instrumental in introducing you to other potential dates outside of your student population.

5. Pay Attention to Personal Interactions
Heterosexual students have it easier in many ways, but one of the most significant advantages they have is the basic cultural assumption that most people are heterosexual. As a member of the LGBT community, you probably already realize that a significant challenge in your dating life is figuring out who is straight and who’s not.
In these situations, LGBT students are advised to pay attention to the subtleties of your personal interactions. Strike up a conversation and make eye contact. See if the person you’re talking to is responding. It takes a little more effort to be hyperaware, but it could help you find a potential match in the place where you least expect it.

Quick Tips
  • The Campus Climate Index is an excellent source for locating information about various colleges’ records on LGBT issues.
  • Look for local gay singles meet-ups and other LGBT dating events in your area on sites like GayDatingSolutions.com as an additional way to meet potential dates.
  • Don’t forget to focus on the whole college experience, not just your love life. Take interesting classes, join sports teams and clubs and meet new people. There’s a good chance that immersing yourself in the college experience could lead you to an eventual romance anyway.

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

Dating Tips for Gay Men Over 40

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Dating can be hard enough at times, but the situation can be made that much more challenging for those single gay men who represent the age 40 and up crowd. In a society where youth and beauty are highly valued, many middle-aged men report feeling segregated and unappreciated in dating pools, making it difficult to meet and sustain relationships with potential dating prospects.


The problem can seem even more compounded in the gay community in which the emphasis on youth and brawn is amplified, causing many mature gay men to feel undesirable and like outsiders within gay circles. They feel unwanted and that their age hinders them and limits the pool of men available to them for dating, particularly when they report being rejected by men in their own cohort for younger guys.

Ageism, or discrimination against someone because of his age, plagues many different layers of our culture—and it also can and does rear its ugly head in the gay dating world. This “over-the-hill” mentality is very damaging, robbing us of the opportunity to really experience life, take risks toward goals, and make the most of what we have (if we let it!). This case is illustrated in the comment of a former 29-year old client: “I turn 30 later this year and then I officially am old! I’ll never have a boyfriend now! I feel like my life is over and it’s all downhill from here on out!”


It is hoped that this article will prove all that wrong and provide you with some tips for maximizing your midlife dating success! While the reality is that ageism does exist and there are obstacles in the dating jungle (at any age), these hurdles do not have to dictate the outcome of your love-life. In actuality, your stage-of-life puts you in an advantageous position to conquer this adversity. With your life experience and history, you probably have a greater repertoire of coping skills, resiliency, sense of self, assertiveness, self-esteem, and an expansive support system and resources. This will take you far and makes you a very good catch!


So let’s push aside those fears that you won’t be able to attract someone after you reach a certain age. Let’s destroy that stereotype that all older gay men are unhappy, lonely, and camp out at the local strip bar every night “trolling.” It’s nonsense! YOU make your life what you want it to be and “you’re only as old as you feel”, as the “old” saying goes. Midlife is sexy! And here are seven tips to help boost your dating success as a 40+ single gay man to enhance your readiness for a relationship!

STEP 1: CREATE YOUR VISION
No matter what your age, this is the most critical first step. It’s very important that you take the time to develop a clear and vivid image of who you are and what you want out of your life, including your dating life. Are you seeking a long-term relationship and a life partner or just casual dating? What does the rest of your life look like? What would your ideal partner be like and how would your relationship function?
Your answers to such questions will help give you the direction you need to accomplish your goals, giving you a measuring stick to keep you on track and assess your status. How much of a gap exists between your idealized vision and your current reality?
Do the work that’s needed to bridge that gap and begin the process of identifying your needs, differentiating between those that are negotiable and non-negotiable so you can more adequately screen future dating partners for their suitability with your vision.

STEP 2: BEFRIEND THE MIDLIFE CRISIS
Erik Erickson is best known in the psychology field as having developed eight stages of psychosocial human development that we all pass through as we age through the lifespan. Every age group has its own unique challenges and developmental tasks to conquer before being able to successfully move on to the next stage. According to this theory, such hallmarks that exist for the middle-aged man include nurturing close relationships, career management, household maintenance, creativity, and commitment to family and the community. Having a sense of purpose and passion and being able to impact the world with one’s talents is a central feature.

As gay men, many of our developmental tasks were skipped or neglected because of our retreat to “the closet” in coping with the homophobic society we live in. Successful integration of your gay identity into your sense of self allows you to then address those developmental tasks that were suspended until you were ready. So the next step for you is explore any developmental tasks that still require mastery from earlier years and start working at them. For example, a middle-aged man who comes out later in life will likely experience the adolescent tasks of exploring his sexuality and practicing man-to-man relationship skills, causing him to feel like a teenager again. Perfectly normal in gay male development, no matter what your age!
And then the next step for your success is to discover something that you can do that will give you a sense of meaning and purpose and begin to express that. Find your calling and live it out. This will be your legacy of sorts and is a great way to solidify your identity. This will help anchor you during your dating trials and can be one of the top ways of meeting a compatible partner. Your passion and “zest for life” will be magnetic and you’ll likely be meeting others with similar interests and philosophies in the venues you pursue.

The illustrious “midlife crisis” strikes those men who experience anxiety and apprehension at realizing they’ve lived half their lives and begin to question and contemplate what they’ve accomplished in their lives thus far, fearing that not much time is left to live their visions.
Midlife is the perfect time to revisit your original vision and tweak it so it more accurately reflects who you are now and the man you’d still like to become. Reframe this time in your life as a time for growth and opportunity, not something to be abhorred. You have control over shaping your life into something spectacular and fulfilling!
Midlife is sexy!   Here’s Part 2 of the seven tips to help boost your dating success as a 40+ single gay man to enhance your readiness for a relationship!


STEP 3: DESTROY THE MONSTER IN YOUR HEAD
What we say to ourselves impacts our mood and behavior. The “monster in your head” is that little voice that whispers (and sometimes screams) negative statements about yourself and the world around you. Our internal dialogue impacts whether we look at life through a lens of optimism and hope versus pessimism and negativity.
Examine your self-talk as it pertains to being middle-aged and your views on dating and gay men. Create a list of all the thoughts that come to mind about these topics unedited. If you have such thoughts as “I’m too old to find love”, “All the good ones are taken”, “I’m going to be all alone”, or “Nobody will find me attractive, I’m 50!” then your monster needs an ass-kicking.

Don’t fall into the trap of creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. Begin creating a list of counter-statements or affirmations that will defeat this negative thinking. The more you believe these myths about midlife dating, the more you are setting yourself up for sabotage and it’s important to begin challenging these beliefs by taking stock of true-life success stories or by taking risks and creating your own triumphant victory. Refuse to be held victim to such deprecating thoughts and start developing a mindset around midlife as a positive time in your life to enjoy the fruits of your labor.



STEP 4: EMBRACE YOUR AGE
There’s no point becoming preoccupied with your youth “in the days gone by.” You’re as young as you feel and resisting the fact that life changes will only keep you arrested in your development and is a recipe for unhappiness and regret. Learn to accept all the physical and emotional changes that accompany midlife and be proud of who you are and your story.
Do your best to reduce ageism and ensure that you yourself are not behaving in ways that perpetuate this type of discrimination. For example, if you utilize personal ads as a venue for seeking dating partners, make sure you are honest about all aspects of yourself and don’t fudge on your age. This will increase your odds of attracting more compatible people responding to your ad; remember, it’s quality and not the quantity of your responses.


STEP 5: ALIGN YOURSELF WITH THE RIGHT VENUES
Where do you meet other quality guys?! No matter what your age, this is one of the most common questions surrounding dating and it all boils down to your vision and values. While picking up other men in bars could be a viable approach, it’s a difficult setting to do so because there are so many guys to have to sift through and screen to determine their suitability with your vision for a life partner.
The key is to match your values, needs, preferences, and life purpose with a venue that has some of these qualities and characteristics. This way, you’re surrounded by other men who share at least some semblance of your vision; that makes you one step closer to possibly finding someone who’d be a “good fit.” Examples might be volunteering for a worthy cause or advocacy center, joining a support group, participating in a sporting club, becoming active in a gay-friendly church, signing on to a personal ads site that caters to the middle-aged crowd, etc. The possibilities are endless, but self-knowledge about your vision and passions is a critical key to its success.

STEP 6: BUILD YOUR SUPPORT TEAM & MENTORSHIP CLUB
Nothing helps you through the trials and tribulations of dating better than a solid support system of friends and people who care about you. Invest in current and new relationships with friends and family to give you that boost and sense of connection that we all need. Make sure to look for other midlife gay men who display positive dating lifestyles or older gay couples who can be looked upon as role models to keep them visible in your mind and to help motivate you to see the possibilities that abound. You could even become a mentor yourself to a younger gay man to “give back” in some way and form other positive alliances.

STEP 7: BE PROACTIVE AND HAVE THE RIGHT STUFF
Dating is not a passive activity. You must be proactive and go after what you want or the likelihood of success is minimized. Develop a strong resource bank of dating skills and behaviors that will promote the chances of more positive outcomes. Strengthen your social skills, build more assertiveness and comfort with boundaries, enhance your self-esteem and body image, resolve unfinished business from the past, and get yourself into good physical and emotional shape. Get yourself armed and ready for love!
Conclusion – Gay dating success can be yours in midlife, and at any age! By incorporating these seven steps into your dating plan, you’re well on your way to increasing the odds of success. Know yourself, develop a positive and optimistic mindset, build your repertoire of dating skills and behaviors, and live your life to the fullest! This can be the best time of your life; don’t waste another minute!

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!

Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!
Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

5 Dating Tips For Short Gay Men

Good things come in small packages.

Overwhelmingly, a lot of gay men prefer tall guys. But if the ideal man is tall, dark and handsome, are gay guys who are short, blonde and ugly really the least likely to find love?
Not necessarily. In my coaching practice, I’ve found that diminutive gay men who hone in on the science of attraction can be as lucky in love as their taller counterparts. Are you short? Do you want to be irresistible? Below are five unbeatable ways to attract the other guys.
 
1. Be confident. Short guys who have dating success understand that being short or tall doesn’t define who you are. It is the way you perceive yourself that causes someone to be attracted or turned off to you. If you walk around as if your height is a hindrance, then other people will see you as less attractive because having a lack of confidence is always a turn off.
Many men in Hollywood are vertically challenged and do not let that stand in their way of attracting love (i.e. Tom Cruise, Prince, Kat Williams, Michael J. Fox, Danny Devito, Seth Green and many others). Keep you chest full of pride and your head up high and you too will stand out as a desired catch!

2. Be funny. Many gay men surveyed said that they would prefer a funny man to a serious one any day of the week! Funny guys are attractive because it feels so good to be around them. Most beneficial for funny guys are that whenever he makes someone laugh, he forms a positive association to seeing his face. If you are not naturally funny, take a comedy class or tap into your funny bone because a sense of humor will make any short man a tall cup of attractive!

3. Be social. Some gay men are much more attracted to guys with great personality. If you can become gifted at mingling and attracting a crowd then you will have no problem attracting with other guys. The psychology behind this is that people want to be around people who are desired by other people and it is easier to be approached. Never sit alone at a party and always find a way to bring a group together and soon other guys will be exploring what makes you so appealing.

4. Embrace the friend zone. Gay men balk at the idea of becoming a “friend” because they fear that they will be pushed into the friend zone and forever be locked there. However, the truth is that when another guy finds you attractive, friend or no friend zone, he will be open to taking the relationship to the next level.
His guard isn’t up to a friend and he will most likely not resist falling for you if the connection between the two of you develops. If you start off as friends and he has a chance to get to know you, have fun with you, and also has an opportunity to fall in love with who you are, he can and will most likely be able to accept your height and love you for who you are!

5. Own your height. Look for other guys who are shorter than you by joining online dating sites for shorter people or approach other gay guys who are short. Finding a man who is also vertically challenged will give you both a commonality and minimize your height as an insecurity in your relationship. Everyone has a reason to be insecure about something. Owning the fact that you are short and not accepting that it limits you in the love department will give you an added advantage to love.
Tall men, take note, pay attention. Sometimes the best things in life come in smaller packages!





Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?
 
Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!
Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Sign-up now: www.gaydatingsolutions.com
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Gay Dating: Survival of the Fittest Gay Man

The wonderful world of dating is full of joyous experiences and is soaked in potential for a dream-like future. However, the reality of it can be a mixed bag. Here are some of the top tips to make sure you get the most out of each experience:

Create a foundation.
The dating experience can feel a bit like a conveyor belt, with men passing by in front of you. Some will have an expiration date, like dairy products, and others will have a lifetime guarantee. Don’t expect the picket fence and a puppy after the first few dates. These plans have to be built on a solid foundation, and spending time together creates this foundation.

“The best daters can still fall
into the variety of traps.”


Guys can be very gladiatorial on some occasions.
Some have a game plan that details exactly what they want, be that sexual gratification, forging a romantic friendship or finding Mr. Right. Some guys are just looking for another notch in the bedpost. If you are looking for the same, then great. If you’re not and you think you can change them, then you are dating the wrong guy. Go into it with your eyes open. What you see is normally what you get.

The Gay Dating World can feel like a survival course.
You can often feel like you’re avoiding the pitfalls and traps and overcoming your own expectations. However, even the best daters can still fall into the variety of traps. Like every good boy scout, you should be prepared. In any area of life, there are the givers, takers and cheaters.
Life normally balances out in a karma-like fashion, but going into the wonderful world of dating with a Disney-like attitude will probably result in a horror movie. Go into dating with your eyes and ears wide open and your sense of self-worth on the top of the agenda. Not everyone out there is a predator, but a wolf can dress up in a sheep’s clothing.
Only make the relationship physical when you are ready. You should never feel pressured or forced into it. If you have doubts, then don’t do it. Never put yourself in a situation where you could be made vulnerable. I’ve heard many stories of guys being chatted up online by men out of the area and soon they arrange a weekend date where they stay over.
Always have a hotel on standby because you never know when you may feel pressured to have sex with him. Readers, what are your tips for surviving the traps that come with dating?




Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?
 
Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!
Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!
Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

10 Signs You’re Dating a Jerk

We’ve all date Jerks in our lives. I know I’ve dated plenty. If I had a nickel for every idiot I dated, I could buy and sell a Starbucks franchise. But the thing is if we hadn’t dated these types of men, we might never know the real gems when we see them. So in a way I have them to thank. But first, you need to recognize the behavior when you see it. All it takes is for you to open up your eyes.

1) He doesn’t know what fair and balanced means. 
In a healthy relationship, your partner should balance you out. When you cook, he cleans; when you drive, he navigates; and so on. There are men out there who expect you to do everything, or, they’ll do a tiny bit and expect you to finish while he gets the credit. No way in hell is this ever going to make you happy. Look at the signs early on because they tend to appear within the first couple months. Once you see them, kick his ass to the curb.

2) He changes the subject, a lot. 
Just when you’re starting to open up about something personal, he changes the topic to something more uplifting and, surprise surprise, about his tribulations rather than yours. When your man does this over and over again, it’s clear he doesn’t care about your feelings nor does he consider your plight of any importance. This is a huge reflection on the kind of man he is.

3) He pressures you into doing things you don’t want to do.
Never in any circumstance is this okay. Not only is he refusing to hear you, but he’s also trying to control your life choices. I’m not saying you shouldn’t adventure and be more loosey goosey when it comes to new things, but it always should come from you. Don’t ever do something because you’re pressured or guilted into it.

4) He’s always annoyed by you. 
You feel the energy he gives off and for whatever reason, you always seem to be at the center of it. You’re the punching bag, either emotionally, verbally, or physically. Who wants to date a man who is constantly annoyed by them? A weak-minded person would try and change himself for his boyfriend, but not you. You’re strong and you’re smarter than that. It’s time to put his misery out to the street. He doesn’t like how you live your life? Then he can gladly walk out of it so you can find someone who appreciates you for all your quirks.

5) He flirts with other guys in front of you. 
I once dated a guy who would not only flirt with other guys in front of me, but buy them drinks! Yes… buy them drinks! Never ever make yourself so low as to becoming second-best when you’re on a freaking date. It’s not the time to try and “compete” with the stranger at the bar. This should be your time together. Put a stop to it and make sure he knows how serious you are. Trust me, he’s never going to stop.

6) He likes making you uncomfortable. 
If his sense of humor is to make you uncomfortable as possible, there’s no way in hell he has your well-being in mind. My ex used to pretend to take his hands off the wheel while he was driving just to piss me off (my best friend died in a car accident a few years prior, and he knew it). Things like this aren’t funny – they’re asshole behavior. Open your eyes to it!

7) He never has your back. 
This is a hard one to spot because you’re always easy to jump to conclusions. But most of the time if he refuses to defend you in public, chances are he’s definitely not going to do it in private. If you’ve heard multiple times from your buddies that he never stood up for you when someone was bashing you, it’s time to see where his loyalty lies.

8) It’s always your fault. 
He refuses to take the blame for something, so instead he puts the spotlight on you because he knows you won’t say anything to defend yourself. Wrong! See through the lines, my dear. A man who is too scared to take the blow for something he did isn’t a man at all. He’s a coward.

9) He belittles you. 
It’s hard to spot belittling behavior sometimes. We all want to be that guy who can laugh at himself, but there’s a difference between laughing at spontaneity and laughing with a bully. Your man should never belittle your job, your clothes, your interests, your family, or you as a person. If anything, he should highlight it.

10) There’s always tension & you never know why. 
Nothing is more uncomfortable than unspoken tension. You never know why but you both know it’s there. If you ask me, my spiritual advice would be that your energy is clearly rejecting each other. There’s a different between awkwardness and tension. Awkwardness is bound to happen, but weird unexplained tension is your conscience telling you that there is no bond. Listen to it.




Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?
 
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Gay Dating: Waiting for Your Prince Charming is Pointless


Some fairy tales are only meant to be in books.

I’m starting to think that most single gay men truly believe their prince is on his way. I hate to be a cynical asshole, but when it comes to life, I believe that waiting is wasting. Life isn’t a cliché Disney movie: a perfect guy surprisingly drops in and saves you from undying loneliness. In reality, it’s probably more of a PG-13 romantic comedy: Boy meets boy, boy likes boy, there’s conflict, but eventually they realize they’re better off together than separate.

I hope this message goes out to all the single gay men who believe their time is running out. Love isn’t something that goes away. It’s directly in front of our faces but it’s up to us to reach out and grab it because, trust me, it won’t grab us unless we allow it to. If you live your life like a princess waiting to be rescued, you’re going to be waiting a long, long time. Life is supposed to be lived and enjoyed, and no one will see a fantasy come true without making a bit of effort first.
If someone told you they were waiting for a perfect job to land in their lap, yet, they haven’t made any effort to go searching for one, what will you tell them? If someone told you they were hoping they’d be a great singer, yet, they never practice, do you think they’ll ever achieve it? If someone told you they wanted a boyfriend, yet, they don’t give themselves opportunities to meet people or even bother, would you think they’re living a pipe dream?
Don’t get me wrong. I’m a huge fan of pipe dreams. They keep us going in life because they fill us with hope, but at some point or another we have to ask ourselves how much effort we’re putting into it. The universe works through cause and effect. You can’t say you want to change the world then go in the kitchen and make a sandwich. If you’re spending all day waiting for a man to rescue you, you’re actually doing the opposite of what you want. The prince won’t come unless there’s an opportunity to come, which starts with YOU.

A man isn’t going to slay dragons, fight trolls, climb mountains, and travel great distances only to realize that his efforts weren’t reciprocated. He’s human too, you know. When he feels like there’s no chance at winning, he probably won’t bother. There’s no point in approaching someone who only wants to be rescued. This is what the modern world is nowadays – You need to rescue each other.
Everyone meets the love of their life in different ways. Some might believe their prince did come in on a white horse and rescue them from their tower, but, theoretically speaking, a prince doesn’t just happen to walk into a tower without knowing about it first. The part that’s left out of the story is the section where the princess is seen by Prince Charming in her tower window or that she let down her hair for him to climb, without which the prince would never have been able to rescue her in the first place.

But enough about these fairy tale analogies, this is real life. In life, there are two heroes, and they save each other. It’s almost impossible to be saved unless you call for help. In this case, the “help” is merely a duck call. The more we wait the more we waste. No prince has ever gone out on a stroll, randomly came across a tower and assumed there was someone in there waiting to be rescued. You want to find love? Stop waiting and start exploring the kingdom because, trust me, there are plenty of would-be princes searching for you. That’s a better way to spend your time.




Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?
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How to End a Date Early and Politely

I’ll start this with a story from my dating past. I was chatted up online by a witty, charming chap. We spoke on the phone and arranged to meet for date. Now my normal dating strategy was to meet for a coffee and a chat. However, he wanted to take me out for a meal at his favorite restaurant. I relented and agreed.
We were to meet in a bar first and then go to the restaurant. I felt OK with the date until I arrived at the bar, where I discovered he had used a photograph from at least 10 years earlier, when he had hair and his trousers had a waist size rather than a chest size.
I felt bound to go through with the date, but I felt phony as I made polite conversation and spent time with someone I knew I wouldn’t meet again. It wasn’t his age, weight or that he was follically challenged that put me off. It was that he had lied from the onset (in fairness, his online persona was far more sparky and witty than he was in real life). It was after this date I researched and put together a process on how to end a date early and politely.
These do not include clambering out of the restroom window, getting a friend to phone you with a family emergency or the sudden realization you left a pan on the hob at home. Here are my top tips:

1. Never arrange a first date longer than coffee or drinks.
If you are chatting to a guy and arrange a weekend visit/date, you could regret it and end up sleeping with someone because you feel obligated to do so. That makes my dinner date look like a walk in the park.

2. Simply tell your date you have to go.
If you have ignored rule #1 and gone for a dinner date and things are not going well, it’s acceptable to say to your date, “Thank you for arranging to meet, but I really have to go now.” Do not leave without paying your share of the bill (and if it makes you feel better, leave enough for both of you on the table). Alternatively, pay the bill before you declare your intentions to leave.

“If you find your date eyeing the
nearest exit, wrap the date up.”


3. Don’t promise future dates.
If you go through with the whole date and fake interest in his life history, don’t end the date by saying, “I’ll call you.” Do not give any false promises of repeat dates. Just say, “Thank you for a fun evening.”

4. Make it a guys night out.
You can never have enough friends around, so change the date into a buddy night out.
Use this statement: “So, how is your dating schedule going?”
More often than not, single guys are chatting to numerous guys and meeting up with a few at the same time. When you make this comment, he’ll probably realize you’re not interested in him and you can re-route a romantic situation to a friendship. That’s how I built up a social life when I’d moved to a new city.

5. Never offer more than you are prepared to give.
If you’re meeting from an online dating website, don’t offer up too much before meeting. It’s too easy to give the impression you’re going to commit to a relationship before meeting. Always frame the first date as a “coffee chat.” If you get on amazingly well, you can progress it from there.

6. The day may come when your date isn’t interested.
If you find your date eyeing the nearest exit like a hostage in a siege, be kind to both of you and wrap the date up. It’d be like investing in an ice cream parlor in the Arctic Circle — an investment that just won’t pay out.

We’ve all had bad first dates, so don’t get stressed over it. Deal with it quickly, politely and with consideration. Then shout out “Next!” How do you end a date early?




Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?
Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!
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Gay Dating Advice with MR. James: How to deal with rejection

Join MISTER at http://www.misterapp.com. In dating, as in life, you can’t win em’ all: Into everyone’s life, a little “no” must fall and dealing with that no…

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