Gay Couples Who Play Together Stay Together

Just as playing contributes to physical health for children, the same can be said for emotional health of gay couples!

Research has found emotional intimacy to be a strong predictor of happy relationships. Emotional intimacy can be increased in many ways and among them is shared leisure activities, or playing! When gay couples engage in activities together they cultivate connection. Participating in shared leisure activities can decrease stress levels in relationships. Learning to play together contributes to establishing an intimate friendship. Friendships involve awareness of one another’s interests, quirks, passions and values. What better way to cultivate a greater friendship than playing together?

Looking at children play seems to flow naturally from a young and liberated sense of being, full of imagination and free from the cares of the world. So how can couples capture the spirit of play in their relationships? Play can be incorporated by use of games, humor, or any leisure activity. The specifics of play are not as important as the spirit behind it. It is important that in playing gay couples experience a collaborative sense of lightheartedness that contributes to a fun and pleasurable experience.

Engaging in shared activities as couples provide opportunities to have fun, enjoy one another’s presence and reconnect

Playing together in this way provides an influx of positive feelings regarding one’s partner that can contribute to an overall feeling of optimism concerning the relationship. When the relationship is perceived in a positive light, couples are more likely to give each other the benefit of the doubt, experience less escalation in conflict, and feel less adversarial toward each other.

So where do you begin?

Pursue a common interest, go on a walk, pull out a board game, or let loose and dance in the car just have fun being with your boyfriend! With a long to-do list and busy schedule you may think you have no time to stop and play but putting aside your everyday worries and letting loose with your partner, even just for a few minutes, is a worthwhile investment for yourself and your relationship.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city.
Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!
 
Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!
 
Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

Open Relationship or Monogamy: How Gay Couples Can Decide What’s Right for Them

Psychotherapist Michael Dale Kimmel has written a book for gay guys who are having trouble in their relationships

 

Monogamy or an open relationship… it’s a decision almost every gay man has found themselves weighing up at some stage in their life.

It’s also a topic which can provoke strong reactions. Some find the idea of sex with others outside of their relationship to contradict their notions of commitment and romance.

Others think maintaining lifelong monogamy is unrealistic or even unnatural.

‘A lot of relationships are quasi-monogamous’

With the advent of same-sex marriage, the challenges gay people face in maintaining long-term relationships in a heteronormative world have come into sharper focus

We’ve spent a long time campaigning for the same marriage rights as heterosexual people without asking whether the opposite-sex model of marriage is right for all.

That’s one of the assertions from San Diego-based psychotherapist Michael Dale Kimmel. He has just written a book, The Gay Man’s Guide to Open and Monogamous Marriage.

Kimmel has been counseling couples for 20 years and says one the reasons he wrote the book was from observing how few gay male couples are 100% monogamous.

‘From my own observation, I’d say about 50% are monogamous and a lot of relationships are quasi-monogamous. They’ll be monogamous but they’ll take home someone from a bar one night, or one guy will do things on a business trip.

‘The other thing is that I started doing workshops around five years ago, called “Monogamy or open relationship?” I’ve been doing workshops for a long time but this is by far the most popular workshop I ever did.

‘And people kept saying, “Where’s the book where we can read about this?”

 

Read more at: Gay Star News.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!
 
Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!
 
Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

Gay Dating 101: Seven Habits Of People In The Happiest Relationships

Strong, happy gay couples don’t phone it in — they make their relationship a priority.

 

Happy gay relationships don’t happen by accident. It takes two emotionally healthy, loving people who are committed to being the best partners they can be.

Below are some habits that will help create and maintain a happy and healthy twosome.

1. They always kiss their spouse hello and goodbye.

Far from being a meaningless habit, this ensures that you connect, even for just a moment, at least twice a day. Many people in unhappy relationships say that they can’t recall when they stopped kissing at greetings and goodbyes, it just slips away without effort. When you make the time to make eye contact with your partner and kiss them, it shows that you prioritize your relationship even during the busiest of mornings or evenings.

2. They are generous with compliments.

Everyone needs compliments and they especially need them from their partner. You cannot give too many sincere compliments ― whether you have been together 5 years or 50. It can be simple things like saying, ‘You look especially handsome today’ to deeply felt statements like ‘I was so proud of you today when you gave John such wise advice.’

 

3. They disagree at times, but they fight fair.

If partners don’t disagree now and then they’re either not being honest or aren’t human. Disagreeing isn’t a relationship problem ― it’s normal. It’s how couples work through their disagreements (or rather don’t) that can become bad for their relationshipDisagreements are opportunities to practice conflict resolution and build communication skills. Take a look at your disagreements and see what bad habits each partner has when you disagree. Do you talk over each other? Get angry? Yell? Swear? Name call? Disengage? Each partner should make a list of their bad tendencies and use future disagreements to practice responding differently and building better communication skills.

 

4. They don’t expect their partner to read their mind; they ask for what they need.

The happiest couples we see make it a habit to ask for what they need and listen to each other’s needs (without being resentful). Running around hoping another person will know what you need or that you are supposed to know exactly what they need is a recipe for disaster. The happiest gay couples are delighted to openly talk about needs and honor differences in needs without feeling like anyone should have already known or that their ‘soulmate’ will have the same needs as them.

 

5. They set aside time to reconnect and make it a priority.

They understand that in long-term gay relationships, affection and sex don’t just happen, gay couples need to have a commitment to cultivating connection instead of hoping it just happens. For example, at the beginning of a relationship, most gay couples can’t keep their hands off each other. Later on in a relationship, they can’t seem to keep their hands off their phones or computers. Gay couples who commit to prioritizing time to be together, to show affection and to keep learning and growing around sex, are definitely the happiest.

 

6. They laugh together ― often.

It’s easy for a relationship to deteriorate into just talking about logistics, saving your funny anecdotes for your best friend or coworker. This is a mistake. When gay couples get out of the habit of laughing together, their relationship is at risk of losing its joy and spirit.

 

7. They give each other the benefit of the doubt.

When people are struggling in relationships it’s not unusual to feel that your partner is on a completely different team that you. Remember that you are on the same team and that you both care about one another. Giving your partner the benefit of the doubt is a great strength in a happy relationship.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!
 
Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!
 
Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

Five Fast Ways to Get Over a Breakup

Can’t get over a breakup? They’re uncomfortable, painful, and affect us immensely. Here’s five fast easy ways to get over it and forget:

 

Everyone seems to have their own bounce back timeline and their own methods for getting over a breakup. While some people seem to be able to flip a switch and be done with it, we all have a friend (or are the friend) who is still 90 weeks deep in their ex’s Instagram every night and sends way too many drunk texts. And if you are that person, I get it.

1. If you internalize rejection, it’s going to be harder.

Researcher Lauren Howe of Stanford worked with a team of researchers on a survey of over 800 people and found out something really interesting: those who internalize rejection have a harder time with breakups. These are people who look at rejection as a reflection on them — proof that they aren’t good enough or lovable — and they find it more difficult to move on than those people who think that rejection is just a natural party of life or even an opportunity for learning and growing.

 

2. Accept the empty feeling

That moment when you realize you’ve been dumped by the love of your life feels like death. The key is to allow yourself to embrace the grief if you ever want to move past it. Breaking up is very similar to a death because it is in fact the death of a relationship. For at least a couple of days, remember the good times and allow yourself to cry like mad.

 

3. Cut off all contact for real

In this case, absence does not make the heart grow fonder. Absence is exactly what you need to cool off, process your feelings and change your perspective at the end of a relationship. Give yourself a period of no contact. No texts, emails or social media messages because you need time and distance to get emotional clarity. When you just break up with someone, your emotions are all over the place — you will likely miss them desperately and overlook all the reasons why the breakup happened in the first place just to have them there with you again.

 

4. Look toward the future and don’t look back

After an especially bad breakup, it may seem impossible to think that you will ever love again — trust me, I know. This sense of loss can open the door to great possibility. When you find yourself at the end of a relationship, ask yourself this compelling question: “What else is possible now that wasn’t possible when we were together?”

Even in the midst of heartbreak, the end may be just the beginning. Move forward to create your life, and if the relationship can be created again with that person you desire to be with, it will be created from a greater, deeper place and not the same old place that made you break up in the first place. In my point of view, a breakup, especially stemming from an unhealthy relationship or perhaps just one that wasn’t meant to be, always leads to something greater.

 

5. So you need to form some new memories without your partner.

So you have to get your ex out of your autobiography, out of your view of yourself. How do you do that? Well, it’s why we see so many people taking up hobbies or going through big changes after a breakup. It’s really is good for you because you start to form new memories and rewrite your autobiography without your partner.

Breakups are always going to be hard — especially if it was a significant relationship — and there’s never going to be a magical cure all. But we can help ourselves get over them faster. The most important thing? Stop dwelling on the past and make a new future. So it’s time to get off of their Instagram account and go try something totally different — it’ll help.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!
 
Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!
 
Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

 

 

Disney-Obsessed Gay Guy Proposed to His Boyfriend on Splash Mountain

Original story from PinkNews.

 

A Disney-obsessed man popped the question to his boyfriend at Disneyland in a truly heartwarming style.

Reddit user Eugenius310 shared the incredible moment that he popped the question in style to his boyfriend Chris.

He sprung the surprise proposal on his partner during a trip to Disneyland, during a ride on the log flume Splash Mountain.
Read more at: PinkNews.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!
 
Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!
 
Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

Gay Relationship Tips for Long Term Couples

So what makes a healthy and lasting longterm gay relationship successful? Here are some good tips.

Developing You: Many gay couples fall into the trap of expecting their partner to fill the hole in their lives. Coupledom does not provide an escape from self-development. The truth is there is no effective long term escape from self-development. At any stage of life—even into your eighties and nineties—you need to keep growing in order to reach greater contentment.

Daily Rituals: Aim for a daily check-in. This is some version of “How was your day, honey?” Try to practice this without multi-tasking. Hide your cellphones and other portable electronic devices and spend a few minutes just hearing what your partner did that day. It is your job to know about some (but not all) of the seemingly insignificant details of your partner’s office gossip, health issues, and favorite pop culture references. A “check-in” is a part of my daily practice. As Oscar Wilde said: “Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation.”

Sex Matters: Gay couples that convince themselves that sex is no longer important after years of togetherness sometimes get into trouble. Sex can grow and develop just like other parts of your life together. To add spice to a sex life that has become routine you’ll need creativity. This can mean ramping up your curiosity about role-play, exploring breathing practices like tantra, or sharing your fantasies. Fantasy makes what is familiar new and exciting again. This is one aspect of relationship development that requires a spirit of fun: sexual negativity and complaining kills sex drive.

Boundaries = Closeness: Everyone needs time alone. You need some friends and activities that are yours and that are not always experienced with your partner. Sometimes you may need to shut the door, put on the earphones, or go for a walk by yourself in the neighborhood. It is okay to “go away” for a while, as long as you commit to authentically coming back later.

Keep Talking: As humans, the key method we have to repair hurts is communication. If you are not a “good communicator” then now may be a time to start learning. Communication is a skill that can be learned, just like knitting or skiing—it just takes instruction and practice. Fortunately improved communication is something that many gay couples can learn in a few hours. I don’t recommend waiting to seek couples counseling until a crisis occurs. Just a few sessions can enhance a relationship that is already doing well. Believe it or not, it can be fun, especially when you go out to dinner afterwards.

Ultimately what keeps long term relationships strong is paying attention to the emotional bond between you. The work of fostering emotional intimacy—which means feeling free to share your feelings without fearing rejection—can be supported by experimenting with some of the practices outlined here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!
 
Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!
 
Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

7 Relationship Tips That Gay Couples Often Forget

Once gay couples have settled into a relationship, things can fall into a bit of a rut. Routines form, the attentiveness that was present at the beginning of the courtship might be replaced by content complacency, and ultimately tensions arise. These simple gay relationship tips may seem like common sense, but you may be surprised at how often people forget about their importance.

 

1. Be Honest

Some people lie to their partners for years out of fear of hurting or offending them, but that can lead to a whole lot of ugliness on all sides. The one being lied to will know that something is wrong, and the one lying may feel more and more frustration about holding back and the relationship may end up suffering badly as a result. This honesty doesn’t have to deal with outright lies, but rather personal interests or preferences that may have changed over the years. Alternately, there could be some serious issues that really should be dealt with, but are internalized out of fear of hurting the other person. Ultimately, honesty really is the best policy, and a strong gay couple will be able to work through just about anything together.

2. Communication is Vital

Very few of us are able to read one another’s minds, so it’s important to express things that weigh on us, whether they’re positive or negative. Little behaviors that bother us can become more irksome over time, so it’s good to address them early, before the irritation accumulates to the point of anger. Similarly, miscommunications can lead to some pretty ugly arguments, so if you’re uncertain about something, try to discuss it calmly so you can sort things out: you may have misheard or misread something your partner said/did and taken it totally out of context, so clarify before freaking out about anything. Even though we may feel that we know our partners well after being with them for several years, remember that we all grow and change over time, and methods of communication must change along with us as needed.

3. Never Take Each Other for Granted

Be aware of every wonderful thing that your partner does for you, and express your gratitude whenever possible. This might be as simple as thanking them for doing the dishes after you’ve eaten dinner, or telling them how much it means to you that they make your coffee/tea exactly the way you like it. They’ll feel appreciated for the love and kindness they show you, and will express their appreciation to you in turn, so no one ever feels like their actions aren’t being acknowledged.

4. Respect Each Other’s Alone Time

Togetherness is important, but just as important (if not more so) is the ability to spend time alone. Too much time spent together can make you irritable, especially if you feel like your personal space is always being invaded. Time alone is necessary for personal reflection, growth, meditation, or even just quiet contemplation. Remember that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and you’ll appreciate your partner a lot more after having some space away from them. If you live together, it might be a good idea to have personal spaces that you can retreat to: either individual offices, or a garage workshop for one person and an attic library for another, etc.

5. Don’t “Let Yourself Go”

It’s inevitable that once certain comfort levels have been reached and closeness wins out over early awkwardness, some behavioral patterns will change. You might not spend an hour prepping before dinner to make sure that you look and smell good, or your boyfriend might wear the same pants for two days in a row without worrying about what you might think of their outfit. That’s totally normal, and really quite hilarious. That said, closer comfort levels don’t mean that you should neglect your personal hygiene, or let your living space fall into complete ruin. You know they’re not going to judge you if you leave pizza boxes all over the floor, but that doesn’t mean that you should. Try to keep things tidy and your appearance a step or two above “slovenly,” and your partner will undoubtedly feel that they’re worth making an effort for.

6. Admit When You’re Wrong (or When They’re Right)

This may be difficult for some people to do, but it really is important. If you discover that you’ve been wrong about an issue/bit of information/whatnot, own up to it: you’ll gain your partner’s appreciation and respect if you do, and if you don’t, you’re just proving yourself to be an immature, pouty jerk. Additionally, if you’ve been discussing something and your partner turns out to be in the right, acknowledge that fact: they may have been filled with self-doubt, and acknowledging their awareness or knowledge may boost their self-esteem exponentially.

7. Have Faith In Your Partner

Having trust and faith in another person can be difficult, especially if you’ve been hurt by others in the past. If you’ve been cheated on or otherwise betrayed by another man, you might worry that the same thing will happen in your current relationship, and this may cause you to imagine things or accuse your partner without just cause. If you find that your own insecurities are poisoning your partnership, talk it out with them and consider seeking therapy: they’re not the person who hurt you, so please don’t assume that just because one person treated you badly, everyone else will too.

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!
 
Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!
 
Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

Top Neighborhoods With the Most Gay Couples in The U.S.

gay-49

A recent study by Zillow shows the most popular neighborhoods for gay couples in the United States.
Using numbers from the 2012 U.S. Census Bureau’s American Community Survey, the online real estate data company ranked the top 10 communities with the “highest share” of this demographic.
Corona Heights, a section of San Francisco’s Castro District, tops the ranking: 44.5 percent of households there are comprised of same-sex couples. Neighborhoods in Columbus, Dayton, Ft. Lauderdale, Cleveland, Washington, D.C., and Baltimore are also on the list.
Beyond population, the Zillow study showed that overall, property values are higher in neighborhoods with a dense population of same-sex couples. For example, the median home value in Corona Heights is $1.4 million, whereas homes in the S.F. metro area are valued at $738, 200.

“Over the past forty years, home prices in historically gay neighborhoods have steadily outperformed average prices for the metros in which they’re located,” write Spencer Rascoff, the CEO of Zillow, and economist Stan Humphries in their book Zillow Talk: The New Rules of Real Estate.
“Many gay communities across the country are no longer marginalized and undervalued. … They’re coveted,” they add.
See the ranking below:
gay-48
Courtesy of: Zillow.

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

Gay Couples: 8 Tips For Moving In Together

gay-interracial
Some say moving in together is the proverbial kiss of death. Others think it’s the best thing since sliced bread or since the invention of dildos. Moving in with your significant other is a big deal – from fighting for the covers every night to waking up with the person you love each morning, this new chapter in your life may be rife with happy moments and potential conflicts. While there’s no foolproof plan for avoiding relationship complications after you move in together, following these tips will help make the transition that much easier.

1. Establish Ground Rules
Now is the time to lay down the house rules that not only benefit the two of you as romantic partners, but as roommates, too. Whether it’s “Keep the toilet seat down,” “No stuffed animals on the bed,” or “Dirty clothes go in the hamper, not on the floor,” getting clear on one another’s guidelines will help keep the romantic spark between you alive. The realities of living together aren’t always an aphrodisiac, but you can focus on making the best of what you’ve got by getting clear on your shared boundaries.

2. Redecorate Together
Whether one of you is moving into the other’s home, or you’re both moving into a new place together, collaborating on the décor will not only bring you closer, it will give each of you a sense of ownership in your new abode. At the same time, a home makeover gives you the chance to find out how you work together as you blend your lives.

3. Divide And Conquer The Housework
When I moved in with my now husband three years ago, we quickly established I’d do the dishes and he’d do the laundry, a set-up that has kept us both happy and sane. I’m thrilled I never have to count quarters and lug our dirty clothes to the Laundromat. He’s ecstatic he can enjoy dinners we take turns cooking without worrying about the post-meal mess. He takes out the garbage and cleans the bathroom. I sweep, dust, and vacuum. Neither of us loves doing household chores, but it’s so much easier getting through them knowing we’re getting equal help from the other. Nothing kills the mood faster than resentment over lingering dust bunnies in the bedroom.

4. Tackle Your Finances
Before you move in together, talk money. Are you going to have a joint account? How will expenses be split? What about insurance? And don’t forget that your financial discussions should continue after you unpack. Check in with each other periodically to make sure you’re both on the same page financially. Set a common savings goal — say, a trip to Paris, or buying a home — that creates a sense of shared partnership and helps you both stay on the same financial track.

5. Get Out Of The House
Once you’re in the comfort zone, it can be tempting to spend your evenings ordering Thai take-out and catching up on your Netflix. Resist the trap! It’s essential to the vitality of your relationship that you get out and explore the world together. Go see a band you love, catch a movie, go out for dinner, work out together, party with friends. Sharing new experiences creates stronger bonds and a deeper sense of intimacy.

6. Maintain Your Privacy
The occasional communal shower aside, all other bathroom activities should be kept private. Maybe you’re in that phase where you want to do everything together, but some things you should do by yourself, period.

7. Spend Time Apart
Enjoy quality time without each other. Now more than ever, it’s important to nurture your other relationships — including the relationship you have with yourself. Not only do those bonds give you a more well-rounded support system — one you’ll need down the road — time away makes time spent together that much sweeter.

8. Show Your Love
Express your appreciation for your man: bring him chocolates, cook up his favorite meal, put on a sexy underwear, etc. After all, relationships aren’t rocket science. Sometimes, it’s the small gestures that go a long way in making sure you don’t turn into an old gay married couple before you’re, well, an old gay married couple.

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?



Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

Easy Ways to Enhance and Deepen Your Relationship

Our relationships grow deeper and more fulfilling when we have the ability to express ourselves and to listen more deeply to our partner. Intimacy requires us to become vulnerable to one another. For men, that sometimes seems contrary to everything they’ve learned about how to lead life. The paradox is: we actually become safer when we disarm and open ourselves to our beloved, because he is more likely to disarm and open himself.


Communicating in ways that enhance intimacy requires us to try something new. Let’s try an exercise to deepen your ability to communicate with your partner. Pick a time during the week when you and your partner can both commit to being present with one another, face to face, without distractions. (Turn off the television. If the phone rings, let the answering machine pick it up.) There is no rush……

Start by relaxing for a moment. Maybe it has been a long day. Close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths. Relax. Notice what is going on inside of you. Notice sensations. What are you feeling? Remember that many emotions are a combination of one or more of sad, mad, glad and scared. Are you feeling sad about anything? Angry? Excited, eager or happy? Anxious or scared?


Open your eyes. Decide which of you will share first. The partner who goes first has 5 minutes to talk about what he is feeling without interruption. The listening partner does just one thing – listen. (Don’t confuse listening with eagerly waiting your turn to speak! Give this man your undivided attention.) If you are listening and you are not sure of what your partner is saying, ask him if he could please clarify a bit. Do not give interpretations of what he seems to be feeling, or why he might be feeling something. Just listen.
At the end of 5 minutes, the partner who has listened tells the speaking partner what he heard him speak about his feelings. Again, don’t interpret; the goal is just to make certain that you heard him correctly. The goal is to restate you partner’s feelings without just parroting them back to him. The speaking partner may respond, “Yes, that’s what I was feeling all right.” Or he may respond with “No, I was actually feeling more…” If he restates the feelings, the listening partner will again tell him what he heard. This goes on until the partner who has spoken is satisfied that he’s been heard accurately. Then switch the listening and speaking roles so that the other partner has 5 minutes to speak about his feelings.


This can feel a bit awkward at first, like learning new dance steps. Notice if there are places you get stuck. When you were speaking, did you tell your partner the truth about what you were feeling? If you held something back, why do you think you might have done that? If you had trouble as the listener identifying your partner’s feelings, was it that he wasn’t being clear, or did you find yourself getting distracted by the “internal conversation” inside your own head or heart? Did you find yourself getting defensive and wanting to argue instead of simply listen?

Doing this every week for three months will pay you big dividends in learning more about expressing yourself and listening to the other. You’ll find yourself drawing closer to your partner. Good for you!

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?


Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!
Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Sign-up now: www.gaydatingsolutions.com
Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101
Tweet us: twitter.com/GayDating101