Five Fast Ways to Get Over a Breakup

Can’t get over a breakup? They’re uncomfortable, painful, and affect us immensely. Here’s five fast easy ways to get over it and forget:

 

Everyone seems to have their own bounce back timeline and their own methods for getting over a breakup. While some people seem to be able to flip a switch and be done with it, we all have a friend (or are the friend) who is still 90 weeks deep in their ex’s Instagram every night and sends way too many drunk texts. And if you are that person, I get it.

1. If you internalize rejection, it’s going to be harder.

Researcher Lauren Howe of Stanford worked with a team of researchers on a survey of over 800 people and found out something really interesting: those who internalize rejection have a harder time with breakups. These are people who look at rejection as a reflection on them — proof that they aren’t good enough or lovable — and they find it more difficult to move on than those people who think that rejection is just a natural party of life or even an opportunity for learning and growing.

 

2. Accept the empty feeling

That moment when you realize you’ve been dumped by the love of your life feels like death. The key is to allow yourself to embrace the grief if you ever want to move past it. Breaking up is very similar to a death because it is in fact the death of a relationship. For at least a couple of days, remember the good times and allow yourself to cry like mad.

 

3. Cut off all contact for real

In this case, absence does not make the heart grow fonder. Absence is exactly what you need to cool off, process your feelings and change your perspective at the end of a relationship. Give yourself a period of no contact. No texts, emails or social media messages because you need time and distance to get emotional clarity. When you just break up with someone, your emotions are all over the place — you will likely miss them desperately and overlook all the reasons why the breakup happened in the first place just to have them there with you again.

 

4. Look toward the future and don’t look back

After an especially bad breakup, it may seem impossible to think that you will ever love again — trust me, I know. This sense of loss can open the door to great possibility. When you find yourself at the end of a relationship, ask yourself this compelling question: “What else is possible now that wasn’t possible when we were together?”

Even in the midst of heartbreak, the end may be just the beginning. Move forward to create your life, and if the relationship can be created again with that person you desire to be with, it will be created from a greater, deeper place and not the same old place that made you break up in the first place. In my point of view, a breakup, especially stemming from an unhealthy relationship or perhaps just one that wasn’t meant to be, always leads to something greater.

 

5. So you need to form some new memories without your partner.

So you have to get your ex out of your autobiography, out of your view of yourself. How do you do that? Well, it’s why we see so many people taking up hobbies or going through big changes after a breakup. It’s really is good for you because you start to form new memories and rewrite your autobiography without your partner.

Breakups are always going to be hard — especially if it was a significant relationship — and there’s never going to be a magical cure all. But we can help ourselves get over them faster. The most important thing? Stop dwelling on the past and make a new future. So it’s time to get off of their Instagram account and go try something totally different — it’ll help.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!
 
Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!
 
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Gay Dating 101: Our Five Favorite Dating Tips

Let’s face it, when it comes to meeting the next Mr. Right, we could all do with a little help. Here are seven things to keep in mind next time you’re out on a date:

 

1. Don’t forget your manners

Without getting too Sir Lancelot about things, a little dating etiquette goes a long way. If he looks nice, tell him that. Be a gentleman – but play it by ear and don’t go too overboard. Also, make sure you remember his eye color (trust us on this one) and when you’re comfortable, maybe test the waters by leaning in a little closer as he speaks – if he backs away, well, it’s probably not going well.

 

2. Be confident

Everyone’s nervous on a first date, but there’s nothing more attractive than a bit of self-confidence. When it comes to conversation, stay in your comfort zone by coming up with a few topics that you can talk about easily so you’re not out of your depth too early. But it’s a delicate balance – no one wants to be the guy who bangs on about his comic book collection all night, or what a pro his is on the bench press. If in doubt, ask your date about themselves and go from there.

It sounds simple, but choosing someone with similar interests is a big plus. Just be yourself and don’t try to force it.

 

3. Keep it casual

Drinks are fine for a first date. After all, no one wants to sit through the seven-course degustation with someone you’ve only just met – especially if you both realize it’s not going to work after the entrees appear. Also, if it’s a first outing, maybe head to a bar you’ve been to before – you’ll at least know your way there, and it’s one less thing you have to worry about. But avoid just heading to your local watering hole – it’s obvious if you’ve chosen somewhere that’s just around the corner from your pad. Try for something that’s convenient for both of you to get to.

It’s perfectly ok to keep first or second dates to weeknights, but anything after the third outing together should be at the weekend. Otherwise, they’re going to wonder what you’re doing that’s so much more interesting than them. Or, worse, who.

 

4. Be prepared

Your first date is a great opportunity to show him what you’re made of. And trust us, first impressions count for a lot. If you look like you’ve just stepped out of bed, your date is going to think you don’t really care. Get your hair cut, maybe invest in a new outfit, and check your teeth and nails are looking presentable. Plan to arrive a little early, so you’re not flustered when you walk in the door and you’ve got a bit of time to give yourself the quick once-over in the bathroom mirror.

When it comes time to order, play it fairly safe by avoiding anything you’ve never tried before or that’s tricky to eat. As a general rule, if it involves a bib, best to steer well clear. If you’re no wine boffin, go with the most recent vintage white, or drink pinot if you want red because it suits more food than not.

 

6. Eyes in front

Remember, when you’re on a date with someone, they should be the center of your attention. Ask them about themselves and pay attention to their answers. And don’t try to get a sneaky look at your watch or phone – and that hot guy sitting at the bar who you just checked out? Yep, they saw that, too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!
 
Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!
 
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Gay Marriage Advice: 4 Relationship Tips from The Experts

Expert advice and relationship tips on the best ways to form a tighter bond, unlock more happiness, take on tough issues, and keep your marriage solid for a long, long time.

Every marriage (gay or straight) has its bumps, and they can pop up at any time. What’s important is that you learn to navigate them smoothly—before they send your relationship into a ditch.

No matter how far along the marriage highway you’ve gone, there are some simple, fundamental rules of the road. Putting them into practice isn’t always easy, but it’s critical. If you do play by the rules, you’ll make your marriage stronger, and the good stuff—fun, sex, trust, affection—will be better than ever. Try these little things to make your marriage happier right now.

Continue reading

Gay Dating Tips for Finding the Right Person

Gay dating tips to help you find love 1: Keep things in perspective

Don’t make your search for a relationship the center of your life. Concentrate on activities you enjoy, your career, health, and relationships with family and friends. When you focus on keeping yourself happy, it will keep your life balanced and make you a more interesting person when you do meet that special guy.

Remember that first impressions aren’t always reliable. Especially when it comes to online gay dating, people don’t always accurately portray themselves. Regardless of where or how you meet someone, though, it always takes time to really get to know that person. You have to experience being with someone in a variety of situations, some good and some not so good, before you really know him. For example, how well does this guy hold up under pressure when things don’t go well or when they’re tired, frustrated, or hungry? Continue reading

What It’s Like To Date Someone Who Is Disabled (According To My Non-Disabled Exes)

Original story from Queerty

 

What’s it like to be with someone who is gay and disabled and an occasional hot mess?
As a gay man living with Cerebral Palsy, I get asked this question a lot–in one form or another. I could tell you all about it. But what’s the fun in that? Instead, in a moment or sheer genius (or sheer stupidity, depending on who you ask), I decided to ask my non-disabled former flames what it’s like to be with someone who is gay and disabled.
I asked them, in their words, to tell me about first meeting, sex, dating and why they never proposed to me. Curious for more? Read on!
Read more at: Queerty
 Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?



 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!
 
Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!
 
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The Dos and Don’ts of Online Gay Dating

Successful online gay dating takes more than a selfie and a dashed-off profile.

Don’t Friend Your Date… Yet

Thanks to countless social networks and dating sites, Cupid’s arrow has been replaced by a wireless signal, bringing with it lots of new head-scratching predicaments. Are you ready to open this cyber can of worms? We recommend ignoring friend requests from potential boyfriends until after you’ve established exclusivity. You won’t want to be in his arms on Friday night, while he’s posting photos with another guy on Saturday night. Digital jealousy in the beginning of your relationship could actually destroy the possibilities of long-term love. We suggest treating a Facebook connection the same way you would a real-life relationship. You’ve been on two or three dates with someone… Would now be the time to introduce this person to all of your friends? Your family? Maybe some exes? No way.

Clean Up Your Facebook Profile

Before you friend your new man or that guy you met last Saturday night, you might want to take the time to do some digital housekeeping. Delete anything on your Facebook wall that could be considered offensive or otherwise hurt your love crusade. Choose a good profile picture (obviously), untag or delete any unsavory photos and don’t whine! Facebook complainers are a huge turn-off. Keep your rants, complaints and cryptic messages to yourself.

Do You Research

When it comes to online dating, we’re complete advocates for doing a little light stalking pre-meetup. Do a quick Google search of your guy and check out his social media accounts. We’re not saying come prepared to recite from memory his favorite movies and TV shows—skim over that stuff, and instead check for red flags like legal trouble or offensive tweets. This is where your own reverse image search could come in handy as well. Just make sure you don’t friend or request anyone you haven’t met in real life yet. That way, your information will be kept private (While you can keep your personal social accounts private, chances are your potential online matches are scrutinizing your dating profiles

Meet in the Real World

It can be tempting to get invested in online chat relationships because they feel safe and manageable, but great conversations don’t necessarily mean great chemistry. Follow the “3-back-and-forths” rule. After three rounds of email replies, you should ask him out on a real, live date. Simply suggest drinks or invite him to be your plus-one at an upcoming event. The worst they can say is ‘no’, and then you don’t get to meet them, which is exactly what was going to happen if you didn’t mention it!

Avoid Relationship Status Limbo

Don’t be too quick on the draw when it comes to changing your Facebook relationship status. You need to make sure you and your partner are on the same digital page before broadcasting to your social circles that you’re “in a relationship”. As for switching back to “single,” notify your ex about your profile update (if the breakup was mutual and amicable). Take note: Removing the “in a relationship” status from your profile will automatically delete it from his. And don’t use the “end of a relationship” feature offered on the new Facebook Timeline layout. To avoid the dilemma completely, consider setting your relationship status to private to avoid awkward comments or creepy “likes.” (Here’s how: Go to your Facebook profile page, select “Edit Profile” or “About,” then edit “Friends and Family” from the left-hand menu and change your “Relationship Status” to “Select Relation.” Save changes.)

Delete Your Grindr

Once you’re in an exclusive relationship, your Grindr needs to come down. Remaining active is disrespectful to your new mate and unfair to the digital love seekers who think you’re still available. Plus, it’s a necessary sign of commitment for some. Don’t want to put all your eggs in one basket? Choose to deactivate your profile rather than terminate, so you can enter the dating game easily if things don’t work out.

Know When to Unfriend

If you don’t want to completely X out your ex, we recommend hiding their Facebook feed to ease the breakup blues. Do the same with their family and/or mutual friends to cut down on the number of ex-related updates. You may want to get in touch with your past love in the future, and re-friending him after an extended period of time could be awkward. So only unfriend an ex if the relationship ended badly, e.g. he cheated or stole from you.

Erase Past Relationships

Want your ex’s grinning mug gone from your digital life? We suggest asking a friend to hit delete on your lovey-dovey couple pics to save you the heartache of reliving happier times. Of course, if your relationship ended on good terms, you might not need to do a total clean sweep. If your current flame remains friends with his ex (and is still tagged in her photos), be confident in your new relationship and just ignore it. Letting him know that it upsets you will only make him realize that you’re checking up on his digital past. 

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!



Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!


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I Have Low Self-Esteem. Is Online Gay Dating For Me?

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Reader’s Question: Is online gay dating for me? I’m a 40-year-old single gay guy with average looks and great sense of humor but have been overweight for years. I’ve been fat-shamed by family, friends and boyfriends growing up and have extremely low self-esteem. I was also the brunt of a very cruel fraternity prank in college that I have never gotten past. It just crushed me and humiliated me.
After having two short, but painful, relationships in my 20s, I swore off dating for good. I’m no good at it, and the men I attract are cruel. One left me stranded at a restaurant because I wanted him to pay for once; one told me that he was too grossed out to kiss me … The list goes on. You honestly can’t imagine the painful things that have been said about me. And I always blamed myself. So I just said no more.
All these years later I’m wondering if I should jump back in the ring. I still have poor self-esteem and I’m still overweight, but I’m a good person. I just don’t want to be shamed or made to feel bad. I want someone to be on my team for once, and not against me. Am I too old for online gay dating? Have I been out of the game too long? Any advice would be great.

Sincerely,
40YOVirgin

Gay Dating Solutions: Hey 40YOVirgin! This is so nice: it’s very rare that I get a letter from someone who describes themselves with positive adjectives. To me this says you are at a fine starting point for potentially getting into dating again: maybe you feel that you have poor self-esteem, but your letter belies this: you do have a good understanding of the positive things that you bring to the world. Understanding these will certainly help you if you do decide you want to try meeting someone who values and respects you.
You mention a few incidents in your past that have weighed heavy on your conscious when it comes to your relationships with men; I wonder if you have ever talked to a therapist about them? If not, it might be helpful to get some professional help to work on being able to feel better about these events in your past before you pursue experiences that might trigger bad memories or make you feel unduly vulnerable.
Now, is online gay dating the best way to meet someone? It may be because it can give you the opportunity to test the water a bit: corresponding with men before you meet them to gauge your interest or enthusiasm for dating. It sounds like you have been quite hurt in the past, and because of this I’d urge you to remember to take things slowly when you start: it’s OK for your initial forays into internet dating to simply be useful in terms of the exposure that they give you to the idea of dating. Take some time to understand what you like in men and what makes you feel some misgivings. Over the years I’ve gotten much better at realizing that a gut feeling that someone isn’t quite right or kind is usually accurate, not something that I should forgive in the hopes that our interaction improves. Allow yourself the opportunity to tune in to these feelings.
As for the issue of your weight and appearance: so few people in the world fit the mold of what Hollywood tells us is conventionally attractive. And yet so many of us find love anyway. If you’d like companionship, don’t assume that the way you look will be the barrier to it. You are a wonderful person with a good sense of humor. Be forthright about these things and trust that it is possible to meet someone who loves these things, and more, about you.

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

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Gay Singles 101: How to Make The First Move

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We’ve been getting a lot of questions on flirting and how to make the first move. Well, today is your lucky day because we’re going to let you know some tips that will not only get his attention, but also create a curiosity to leave him wanting more.

1. Lock Eyes With Your Target

It amazes me how many gay guys have a problem looking into another gay man’s eyes while flirting with him. Maybe it’s shyness, maybe it’s a fear of rejection… who knows?! Whatever the case is, this is a very important step because it’s the jump off point to creating a visual connection.

What to do: Make eye contact and hold it just a little bit longer than you would with anyone else. The 3 second rule applies here. Don’t hold your gaze for longer than 3 seconds or it will creep the hell out of him. Break your gaze and then look over at them again. The goal is to get his attention and connect. Read his body language and if you catch him looking back at you… Then it’s game on.

2. Break The Ice

Now that you have his attention, you should be thinking of ways to break the ice and start a conversation with him.

What to do: Be aware of your surroundings and his. Slyly size him up for clues as to what his interests are. This should be easy depending on where you are. If that fails, look for positive things that stand out about him or his actions. Use it to make your introduction. Ask him his name and get the conversation going.

WARNING: Do not discuss religion, politics, sex or past relationships. Keep the conversation light and easy going. The conversation should be two-sided so make sure you are actively listening to what he is saying.

3. Body Language

It has been said that a large percentage of human communication is done through posture, gestures, facial expressions and other movements. No matter what we are expressing verbally, our body language sends subconscious signals to everyone we interact with. Use it to your advantage.
What to do: Make sure your body language compliments your words and your intent. This means stand up straight and poke your chest out to show confidence. Lean into the conversation and tilt your head to show that you are interested in what he is saying. Most importantly, smile damn it!

4. Your In, Now Get Out!

Alright, now this one is a biggie and you’re probably thinking “what in the hell..?”  Remember I said to keep the conversation light and easy going? There is a reason for this because now you are going to make your exit. This is going to create some mystery and make him want to know a little more about you.
Long conversations with strangers can become boring and just a tad bit awkward because the longer you talk, the less you have to discuss in the future. Keeping it brief will ensure you don’t say the wrong thing and also keep you from being a motor mouth.

What to do: Your conversation with him should last no more than 5 minutes. Simply say “it was a pleasure to meet you, but I have to get going.” Ask him would he like to exchange numbers and if he agrees, ASK PERMISSION to give him a call later that evening. It shows you are respectful of his time and he will most likely say “YES.”
There you have it! 4 Tips to help you get your gay flirt on and make the first move. Not only have I taught this technique to my clients, but I have personally used them. Practice makes perfect but once you get the hang of it, you will notice these flirts will convert to more dates.

Happy Hunting!

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

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Gay Dating 101: Love Yourself First

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“If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you’re gonna love somebody else?” – RuPaul

We live in a world that tells us to put our own needs last and that we need to seek validation from other people.
You may have heard “you have to love yourself before you can expect someone else to love you,” and I’m here to say that this rule is really true! Self-love is essential for creating any healthy (emphasis on healthy), sustainable relationship with another person or people.
If you scoff at this principle, let me explain why it’s legit. Think of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, which essentially qualifies what we need in order to survive and thrive as humans, starting with basic biological needs like drinking water and eating food, all the way up to self-actualization, or fulfilling your goals and seeking personal growth. What I want to emphasize here is that you have to take care of your own needs in all of these areas before you can take care of anyone else’s, and that’s the entire premise behind this tool. You can’t be expected to grow food for others if you’re starving yourself, or keep someone safe if you’re in danger. You have to take care of you, first and foremost!
Another way of looking at this would be the safety instructions you hear when you fly on an airplane about oxygen masks. You probably already know them without me telling you, but the flight attendants will always tell you to put your own mask on before you assist others around you. The same principle applies to love.
See what I mean? Love is a need that we all have, but we can’t expect other people to give us love if we aren’t giving it to ourselves. You also can’t expect to truly love another until you love and accept yourself; you can’t give what you don’t have.
Self-love isn’t something that we can really measure, but there are some common indicators you can look for to see if you’re loving yourself enough:
Do you constantly find yourself in relationships with abusive or unappreciative people?
Do you find yourself usually being the one who is more interested in other people?
Do you wonder why people don’t flock to you?
Do you feel like you’ve been stabbed in the heart if someone criticizes you?
Can you not bear the thought of someone not liking you?
Answering yes to more than a few of these questions indicates that you probably need a healthy dose of self-love! If that’s the case, don’t beat yourself up or feel bad about not fully appreciating yourself — it’s not your fault. We live in a world that tells us to put our own needs last and that we need to seek validation from other people. It’s only natural that so many of us feel like we don’t measure up.
We can all work on loving ourselves a little, or a lot, more than we do now. Here are a few tips on how you can bring some more self-love into your life:

1. Say “I Love You.”
I read a lot about people who do a certain exercise: You look into a mirror, into your own eyes, and say “I love you” to yourself. It probably will feel silly or embarrassing at first, but doing this consistently for a few weeks or a month is sure to bring about some internal shift. Why shouldn’t we tell ourselves that we’re loved, especially when we’ll do the same for others almost without thinking?

2. Find Out All The Ways You’re Awesome
If you’re struggling to find lovable qualities about yourself, literally sit down and make a list of all the ways you rock. Think about all of your positive attributes, characteristics, charitable acts, talents, skills, and achievements. You can even keep a running list that you add to and look at when you’re feeling down.

3. Use Your Own Love Language
You may have heard of the Five Love Languages, which is a book and theory created by Gary Chapman that says there is a method of communication that you respond to best in receiving love. Although it’s usually thought of as being a methodology to use for couples, there’s no reason you can’t use it yourself! For instance, my love language is quality time, so if I want to show myself some love, I’ll spend some quality time with myself, engaging in activities that fulfill me and uplift me. One way I do this is by taking a day off in the middle of the week that I can use for fun and restoration.

4. Pump Yourself Up
A great way to reinforce your own self-love is to do things you’re good at and enjoy doing. It could be anything from going for a run to writing a poem, anything that gets your juices flowing and you feel passionate about. I guarantee it will help you to gain clarity in how lovable you are!

5. Use Affirmations
Finally, a great way to get into the self-love flow is to use affirmations on a regular basis, and put positive self-talk into your subconscious mind. You could write them down, say them aloud, or just think them to yourself. The point is to say things to and about yourself that are positive in order to shape your mindset in a positive direction.
Remember, the most important thing is to honor yourself, before anyone else, and in whatever way you find resonates with you the most.
Happy self-loving!

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?



Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!

Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

Take The Hit: Getting Over Your Fear of Rejection

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Rejection hurts, but it’s the ‘fear’ of rejection that makes it hurt worse. If you want more dating success, you have to learn to take the hit.
For some reason, single gay men everywhere are becoming less confident about making the first move when they see an attractive man giving them the eye. But what truly is the cause?
For a lot of guys in the gay community, it’s hard to compete when there’s so many hot people around. Often times we think we’re not good enough or are afraid of embarrassing ourselves. After all, “keeping it cool” is a major strategy we use when trying to make a good impression. But the truth of the matter is, these fears are only imaginary voices inside our heads. Many times, they’ve been created by either our own insecurities or unfortunate incidents we have yet to heal from.
In order for you to rid yourself of this habit, it’s crucial to give yourself a life review. Go for a walk. Try to remember as far back as you can. Be the detective in tracking down the root of the cause. Once you’re staring at it directly in the face, it becomes much less existent in your life. Trust me, the first step is to find and uncover your own diagnosis. Here’s a few points that might help you along the way:

Rejection Only Hurts as Much as You Allow it to
Here’s why rejection hurts so much: it’s because you give it meaning. You give it power to affect you because you decide how important it is to you. How much rejection hurts is directly proportional to how much emotional investment you have in that rejection.

The “Voices” In Your Head
Insecurity and fear manifest themselves through voices in our head. “He’s totally out of my league” or “He probably has a boyfriend” or “He’d never be interested” or “What if he thinks I’m pathetic?” are all common statements we typically tell ourselves, either consciously or subconsciously.
Many times these voices feel different, sound different, and appear at different times. This is because they’re spawned from different memories within your life, and each circumstance you’re in is probably reflective of that associated trauma. Take it as a hint. Somewhere down the road, have you been tricked into thinking that most attractive guys are out of your league? Does something about this moment feel like déjà vu? Use this as an attempt to find the root of the problem.
These voices inside our head aren’t just holding us back from meeting a potential mate, they also can act as a great tool in deciding if someone’s worth the effort. Knowing that these voices are hidden insecurities and fear, imagine the feeling you get when someone is constantly saying to you, “You’re out of my league.” This, reversely, is how you would appear to them.

“Rejection” Doesn’t Mean You’re Not Good Enough
First of all, let’s stop saying the word “rejection.” The definition of such a word means that someone discards or throws away something that isn’t up to their standards. Overtime, this way of thinking is obviously going to affect our self-worth.
Just because someone says no or is distant from your flirting efforts does not mean that you’re ugly, unworthy, or not good enough. Think about the psychology of it all. People listen to their intuition when they make these kinds of decisions. When someone is obviously detached from making any connection, no matter how hard you think you need to try, it’s really all up to them. So really, it’s their issue. Not yours.
People nowadays aren’t open to find love and are even less open when the opportunity presents itself. Just because someone isn’t making themselves available does not mean it’s your fault. They’re obviously being held down by their own issues. Instead, see it as an opportunity to be proud of yourself for making the move.

Not Everyone You See Is Your Future Husband
Another reason why we tend to beat ourselves up is because we throw all our eggs in one basket. We get so anxious before approaching people that before we even know their name, we’re already picking wedding dates. It’s unlikely the person you approach is as perfect as you think. Remember, they also go to the bathroom just like you – and it’s not pretty.
When you’re not trying, you are less nervous and more able to be yourself. Insecurity is smelled in the air when you’re around more confident people. And simply due to the fact that you’re the one initiating the flirting, the person you’re talking to will naturally be “more confident” just because they have less pressure at that given moment. This makes your desperation more potent. Never let the fear of rejection overshadow your genuine self.

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