Long-Distance Relationships: Your Survival Guide

gay-15
“Maybe we can make this work! Maybe we can have a long-distance relationship that lasts until our separate lives collide and we can live in eternal bliss, together.” — If you have said this before, you might have actually found the one or you are really just in love with each other that distance doesn’t matter. Either way, here are a few tips to keeping it together:
  • Purchase cleaning wipes in bulk. Typing and Skyping with lubey fingers will only lead to damaged keys and smudged screens. You don’t want to explain to the Geek Squad why your laptop keeps sliding out of their hands — to say nothing of what can be found on your hard drive.
  • Don’t analyze every photo of him on Facebook. That image of your new beau being led around on a leash at the leather festival in the gimp mask and ball gag might be entirely innocent.
  • Encourage him to send erotic photos of himself, and be sure to return the favor. Agree that all photos will be deleted after they have been used for their “purpose.” Unless, that is, he is a member of GOProud, in which case, save them for later public humiliation. Consider these photos a bigger bus than the one he will eventually try to throw you under. (Sorry, I have issues with these people.)
  • Keep in mind that geographical separation is often accompanied by differences in time. Failure to consider this may result in unanticipated bitchiness. No one wants a call at 5 a.m. asking, “Whatcha doin’?” in a cutesy voice. It disturbs dreams of shagging Channing Tatum then stealing his shirts and will only lead to arguments later.
  • Never text when drunk, as autocorrect and predictive text can be a hazard. One inconvenient correction can be dismissed as a mistake, but sequential messages of “Bash your hard coal on my face,” and “I can’t wait to ride your coal again” don’t make sense, at best, and at worst, they make it look like you have some sort of fetish for Welsh miners.
  • Choose a tune that you consider “your song” to serve as a musical reminder of your love. Then immediately play it to death until the words lose all meaning. In 10 years, if all goes well, it could be your wedding song. But in the unfortunate event that the relationship has ended, when it comes over the speakers in Walmart, you can drop to the floor in dramatic fashion and weep about the one who got away. Then wait for the discounts from the empathetic sales staff.
  • Don’t get too irate when you can’t reach him. I know it’s hard not to assume the very worst when there has been no contact for more than 10 whole minutes, but chances are he’s busy. Or maybe he’s just at the park having a delightful picnic with an anchorman’s boyfriend. (I love you, Andy! Call me.)
  • Don’t let your single friends’ opinions drive you into thinking this won’t work. They will crucify you for not being available to go cruising with them. If they can’t find love, happiness, and companionship with a headless torso 236-plus feet away, who the hell are they to judge you?
  • The one who travels to the other should have first pick of position. It’s only polite and really should be universally observed gay etiquette.
  • Value the precious times you get to spend visiting the city he calls home. If you run into one of his ex-boyfriends while you’re out, remain calm, polite, and friendly. Resist the urge to scream, “He told me all about that thing you like to do, and I think you’re a freak!” You also won’t make yourself look good by pointing and calling anyone “Jack Nasty!”
Most importantly, despite all the challenges, your long-distance relationships will work if you want it to work. And if it doesn’t, well, you haven’t worked hard enough at it. Hopefully these useful tips will come in handy. Enjoy!

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

Gay Dating: Would You Date Someone Internationally?



QUESTION: Not too long ago I met a guy in a culinary festival. The guy is from the U.K. and was part of a study for a semester program. The thing is we met the last five days of his exchange program and in the little time we spent together, I felt like we connected really well. I ended up liking him very much to the point where I can’t stop thinking of him. We have maintained a good communication via phone and occasionally Facebook, but sometimes I feel lost and insecure about hoping for something that there might never be a chance for. Is it worth giving it a shot?


Well I have good news and bad news for you! The good news is long-distance relationships can and do work. The bad news is most research indicates this positive prognosis applies, for the most part, to those couples already established in long-term relationships. Long-distance relationships can be very difficult for all the obvious reasons.
They tend to fare better with long-term partners because they already have a foundation established in their relationship to sustain the stresses involved with the painful separations that come with their lifestyles of distance. All sorts of tips and tricks exist to help these couples maintain their spark when apart, but these are traditionally most beneficial when they already have a mature connection. Short-term encounters and vacation romances, such as yours, are initially built on infatuation, lust and chemistry and haven’t had an opportunity to mature and evolve.
Without ever having been able to truly date and establish an enduring emotional connection that can only come from getting to know the other person and dealing with the inevitable power struggles and conflicts of daily life that face-to-face relationships allow, men in your situation are at a significant disadvantage.
All these men have is the fantasy of the glory of what they shared during their brief moments together before they had to part ways, and this is not a holistic representation of their partnering based on the stage of relationship they’re in.
It’s a “honeymoon phase.”
Advances in technology with the use of Skype and webcams definitely helps with the communication barriers that exist, but they also unfortunately fuel the fantasy and keep these men trapped in visions of what “could be” without being grounded in the reality they don’t genuinely know this love interest completely, let alone in his own home environment.
Physical presence is needed for a relationship to get off the ground and sustain, especially in the beginning. We can convince ourselves we “truly know him” and “can beat the odds,” but that’s the fantasy and desire for companionship talking, and it’s a huge mental trap to beware. That being said, it is ultimately your choice. When we finally meet “a good one” in dating, it can be hard to let go if the conditions aren’t right for it, despite the fact the guy might be. And there certainly are relationships in your similar type of situation that have worked out.

It really comes down to your needs and values and what you want out of a partner, relationship and lifestyle. It might be helpful to make a pros and cons list of trying a long-distance partnership on for size. It might also be helpful to ask yourself such questions as:
  • “What are the qualities and characteristics I’m looking for out of a relationship?”
  • “Will this arrangement align with the conditions I’m seeking?”
  • “Do I REALLY know this guy enough to make this sacrifice?”
  • “Can I truly cope with long periods of time apart without suffering distressing emotional symptoms?”
  • “Can I be without his physical touch and intimacy?”
  • “Have we established enough trust and connection to sustain physical distance?”
  • “Do I REALLY want this type of relationship?”
  • “Am I being driven by some other underlying force (loneliness, insecurity, desperation, etc.)?”
I wish you all the best with your decision, my friend.
Bask in the afterglow of the wonderful experience you had with this guy, but please do your due diligence by conducting this self-analysis before emotionally investing yourself prematurely for your own protection.




Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?
Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!
Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!
Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101