Gay Dating and the Impact of Social Media

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There are no qualms about it…we live in a digital world now where technology is king and information and immediate gratification is readily available with the click of a button.

It’s even impacted our dating and sex lives.
In a matter of seconds, you can pull up a slew of pornographic images to what your sexual appetite or peruse a gay dating site to scan for potential matches with your cell phone or laptop when you’re on a break from work or traveling home on a subway. It’s that easy now!
But with this quick accessibility and push-button mentality, does it really serve the needs and ultimate prognosis for those single gay men who are seeking a soul mate for a long-term partnership?
Can you find love on Facebook? Is GayDatingSolutions.com and all those other dating sites the answer?
Let’s do an examination of the pros and cons of using social media in your dating efforts to see how it shapes up.

The pros of social media as a dating platform:
In a busy, hectic society when we have little time available to go out socially, if we live in a rural area with lack of access to a visible gay community and find it difficult to decipher who’s gay versus straight when out on the town, social media makes for a great leveraging tool to meet other single gay men.
While we are a lot more “out” and visible than ever before, social media has expanded opportunities for us to meet other men in a way we have never been able to before and has increased the odds of connecting with our single gay cohorts.
Social media has made it possible to get to know someone before actually meeting in person, allowing us to screen for compatibility and saving us time and energy in the process.
As long as this process isn’t too extended, this is a great time management asset.
It’s also a great way to break the ice and can be a good resource for shy guys to practice their social skills.
And let’s face it, it’s titillating! It’s another forum for flirting, confidence-building and revving up the excitement and anticipation of meeting.
But there’s also an inherent risk to this if you’re not careful, as you’ll soon see below.

“Avoid becoming dependent
on one particular dating platform.”


The cons:
Social media is more impersonal and less threatening than face-to-face interactions, therefore it makes one more susceptible to saying or doing things he might not in person and could sabotage a potentially good thing.
Social media has the tendency to accelerate the dating process (or cause it to come to a crashing halt!) if one isn’t cautious.
Because we haven’t met the guy in person to really see his true self, we can begin to build up a fantasy of him in our heads of what we’d like him to be.
Then one or two scenarios can happen:
One, once you meet him in person and the fantasy doesn’t match the reality, all the hopes of a match come crashing down and makes for a very awkward encounter.
Secondly, the fantasy can create an erotic charge that prematurely speeds up the relationship process.
Pacing rituals and the courtship process get thwarted because the connection can get sexualized and boundaries are more likely to get compromised.
What could’ve had a promising future results in a mere hookup situation because a foundation for a relationship didn’t have the chance to properly be established before introducing sex into the equation.
That’s why a great majority of the gay social networking sites are so sexualized. These businesses have capitalized on the fantasy aspect and are raking in millions of dollars because of their recognition of this vulnerability.
And research has shown social media has increased the opportunity and incidence of cheating and affairs for those already in relationships.
Social media can also make communication difficult. The written word in texts or chats can easily be misinterpreted and a lot of erroneous assumptions could be made that might sabotage something from getting off the ground.
Like attorney’s say, “Anything you say in writing can and will be used against you in court.”
Technology can be so easy and addicting that we might be more impulsive and reckless in what we say than we ordinarily would.

So what’s your stance?
Ultimately, you will have to make a personal decision about the role you want social media to play in your dating life after contemplating these (and other) pros and cons.
We are positioning ourselves for loss of human connection and social skill adequacy by relying on technology for our socialization if we’re not careful.
However, by exercising boundaries and good judgment, social media could actually enhance our lives and dating opportunities if used in the right way.
You’ll want to do your due diligence when researching various social networking sites to ensure they market to love and friendship instead of a sexual hookup-based aim if finding a long-term relationship is your modus operandi.
And in the dating world, it will be important to avoid becoming dependent on one particular dating platform to meet your needs. Spread yourself around to a variety of different venues so you have more reach, visibility and opportunities.
What has your experience been like with social media and dating? What are some of your favorite platforms that are truly relationship-minded?

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

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Top Rules For Successful Gay Dating

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The words rules and gay should ideally never appear together in the same sentence. For better or for worse, I do believe in rules, if only because I want to know them before I break them.

Here in L.A., we are blessed with the gift of unlimited options. During the winter, we have the choice of heading to the mountains to ski , the beach for some sun or to the valleys for some wine tasting. When we order our dinner, we can choose the dressing on the side, gluten free, egg whites only, hold the bread please- option from the menu.
So, when it comes all the options in the gay world of dating, why do we often forget that even have options available at all?
For example:
We date a guy who is super hot- but has no job.
(or)
We date a guy who only wants an open relationship- because we fear of being alone.
And last but not least,
We date a guy who will (not) come out to his family and would like to keep your relationship a secret. 

All of these options are self destructive and can only lead to heartbreak. So why do we continue to sell ourselves short?  Are we incapable of deciphering the right and wrong path to take when it comes to the matters of the heart?
To help everyone out, I have decided that I will share with you my “Top Rules For Successful Gay Dating”
  • Rule 1. “Let Go Of the Past”

    Every gay man has stories about “coming out”, childhood, family, fear and broken hearts. These are things that color our past but often get confused with what defines us today. It is important to take what has happened to us in the past and use it as knowledge and wisdom and not for something that completely defines who we are and what we are capable of.
    Starting today… let go and create a clean slate in your life. This is so important to be happy not only in your life- but in your relationships.

  • Rule 2. “Be A Gentleman”

    There is nothing sexier to me than when a guy is well mannered. You can have all the money in the world or be extremely good looking- but if you are an asshole- that is all I will see.  So try holding a door open, saying please or thank you- “be courteous”!
    The art of being a Gentleman is long forgotten art and if you can sprinkle it into your life, it will become one of the most attractive things about you.

  • Rule 3.  “Be Chivalrous”

    They often say “Chivalry Is Dead” which I ninety percent agree with. So this is your chance to (as Cher would say) TURN BACK TIME!
    Be the guy who shows up to a date dressed up and not in a t-shirt. Be the guy who opens the car door and surprises their date with their favorite restaurant.
    All these little things matter, and they are important to having a healthy relationship. If you do not channel your inner Mr. Darcy, you will never win over the heart of a good man.

  • Rule 4. “Test Drive, Just Don’t Buy Car”

    We often talk about sex as gay men. How can we not- we are men. It’s in our DNA to be aggressive, alpha and sexual. But when it comes to deciding if we should put out on the first date- its best to slow things down or just be another statistic.
    Sure- sexual attraction is often overwhelming. Half the time I have been on dates all I can think of is how I want to rip the guys clothes off. But this mindset is once again self-destructive behavior.
    Im not saying you can’t make out or heck even do a little dry humping. But just don’t buy the car on our first test drive! If you want the relationship, hold off.
    It’s kind of sexy to build the tension anyway.

  • Rule 5. “Be Assertive”

    Last but not least, be assertive. There is no bigger turn off than a man that cannot commit to a timely follow up. If you like the guy- tell him. Plan the next time you want to see them.
    In a world with technology that enables us to communicate in ten different ways- there is absolutely no excuse to tell you date you had a great time and that you want to see them again.
    If you continue to be the guy who waits till Wednesday for a Saturday plan- you’ll be the guy alone till he is 80 years old.

Incidentally, all these same rules apply to when you are asking someone out (or being asked)on a first date too- so don’t get it confused. Assertiveness should rule all aspects of “committing” to your dating schedule.
Don’t be a flake!
Okay folks, there it is- my Top Rules For Successful Gay Dating.
I beg you to start instituting them immediately and I promise you they will change your love life. They are a simple start to a long-term plan we have to bring happiness back into your life and weeding out all the creeps that keep making their way into dating diet.
Have Fun!

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

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Gay Online Dating: Tips for Dating Online Safely & Successfully

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Online dating is a very useful platform for hopeless romantics trying to search for the right one. But just as with every other website that requires personal information, online dating sites must be treated carefully and with caution.
Looking for love need not be risky. A few steps to ensure your personal safety can be done before launching that head-turning dating profile on your chosen site. But how do we stay safe while looking for Mr. Right online? Here are a few tips that can help you remain secure while searching the internet sea for potential partners.

1. Let your instinct be your guide.
Before the two of you decide to meet in person for the first time, make sure you feel comfortable with him via online communication. If you’re not ready to share coffee or a drink, then speak up and say you need more time. Don’t put yourself in an uncomfortable situation just because you’re trying to placate this potential partner.

2. Don’t give out personal information.
This includes your last name, where you work, the full name of any friends or family, where you live or even places you frequent often. If your love interest turns out to be a crazy stalker, then you have just given him fuel for the fire.

3. Spread the word.
When you do decide to meet the potential Mr. Right, let those close to you know where you’re going (with an address) and when you should be expected back. Have a code word, so if you call your friend and say “pineapple,” then it’s known that you’re feeling uncomfortable and need backup.

4. Be picky.
Say you just got out of a five-year relationship with “George” and you’re so desperate that you joke you’d date any guy with a high school education. Don’t sell yourself short! Just because you haven’t dated in a while doesn’t mean you should settle. In the same regard, don’t go out with an online match who doesn’t have a photo on their profile. That’s just plain lazy or downright creepy.

5. Have an exit.
Once you’ve established the two of you hunks will finally meet in person, agree on a public setting. Choose a cafe or restaurant that’s always busy and even map out an exit. This can be via a code word with your friend or just straight up knowing where the exit door is.

Remember, when you meet someone for the first time they are still a stranger but just follow our advice, use your common sense and trust your instincts. All-in-all, online dating is not nearly as scary as some people make it out to be, but it’s still important to be prepared and vigilante. Chances are, this new guy will be your new knight in shining armor and all of this planning will be unwarranted.

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?



Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

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“No Asians, No Blacks.” ― Picky Dater or Racist Dater?

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Grindr will get you laid. And possibly make you a crime victim. But among all those muscled chests and sexy profiles to swipe through, it takes about a second to find one with “no Asians” or “no blacks.” That’s racist and here’s why.
The offensive quip in a profile is mostly the work of white guys. But black guys flip the script and use it, too. It’s racist either way, even if you can’t fathom how or why. 
So author Jeremy Helligar tries to break it down in his new book, “Is It True What They Say About Black Men?” It’s the best takedown of why “no [insert race]” is bad and you’re bad for including it in your profile. And since Grindr is no place for nuance, his explanation is succinct.

I like the part in the book where you talk about how some gay guys are very quick to write off potential lovers/boyfriends simply because of their race, i.e. gay men who put on their Grindr profiles “No asians.” I often hear guys argue that it’s not racist, it’s about personal preference.
Saying I like apples better than oranges is a statement of preference. Writing “No Asians” in your Grindr profile is not about preference. It’s about exclusion, especially when you insist on putting it in writing. You aren’t saying you prefer this over that. You’re saying, “If you’re Asian, don’t even bother.” These same people judge white guys individually and dismiss them individually. If they don’t like them, they just don’t respond or block them. But with Asians, they’re dismissing them collectively, making a preemptive strike against them because, well, they think they all look the same, or they’re all unattractive, which is basically what you’re saying when you say you’re not attracted to an entire race. I don’t understand how people can’t see the problem with this. It’s discrimination, which is key to racism. And the sad thing is, it’s an artificial, misguided distinction because “Asian” is as varied as “White.”

No really, it’s racist.

At the same time, a person can’t control who they are attracted to.
If you’ve never been attracted to an Asian guy, or a black guy, or even a white guy, that doesn’t make you racist. What makes you racist is when your lack of previous attraction guides your future interaction with them, when you close yourself off from them completely. So instead of turning down an Asian guy, or a black guy, as most white guys would another white guy, because you’re just not interested, you make it completely about color. How is that not racist?


So enjoy your Grindr. Be careful and try, try, try to be a little less racist.







Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!
Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

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