Psychotherapist Michael Dale Kimmel has written a book for gay guys who are having trouble in their relationships
Monogamy or an open relationship… it’s a decision almost every gay man has found themselves weighing up at some stage in their life.
It’s also a topic which can provoke strong reactions. Some find the idea of sex with others outside of their relationship to contradict their notions of commitment and romance.
Others think maintaining lifelong monogamy is unrealistic or even unnatural.
‘A lot of relationships are quasi-monogamous’
With the advent of same-sex marriage, the challenges gay people face in maintaining long-term relationships in a heteronormative world have come into sharper focus
We’ve spent a long time campaigning for the same marriage rights as heterosexual people without asking whether the opposite-sex model of marriage is right for all.
That’s one of the assertions from San Diego-based psychotherapist Michael Dale Kimmel. He has just written a book, The Gay Man’s Guide to Open and Monogamous Marriage.
Kimmel has been counseling couples for 20 years and says one the reasons he wrote the book was from observing how few gay male couples are 100% monogamous.
‘From my own observation, I’d say about 50% are monogamous and a lot of relationships are quasi-monogamous. They’ll be monogamous but they’ll take home someone from a bar one night, or one guy will do things on a business trip.
‘The other thing is that I started doing workshops around five years ago, called “Monogamy or open relationship?” I’ve been doing workshops for a long time but this is by far the most popular workshop I ever did.
‘And people kept saying, “Where’s the book where we can read about this?”
Read more at: Gay Star News.
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