When you meet someone, you want to be able to spot red flags before you get too attached and into a long-term relationship with them. It’s natural to want to ignore red flags because you like other qualities the person possesses. But by doing this you are just putting off the inevitable. Here are seven red flags you don’t want to ignore when you meet someone new online.
HE JUST GOT OUT OF A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP
This point may seem particularly obvious but the truth is that many gay men fall into the trap of ignoring this red flag. In gay years the phrase “long term” can often differ from straight folks. A long term relationship for a gay man can be subjective at best. As a rule of thumb, 2 years or more is a good yardstick go by, give or take.
What is important is this – the amount of time he has been out of his same sex relationship. If he was in a five year relationship and is now out on the market six months after the breakup, he is very likely not going to be emotionally available or emotionally capable of a real relationship again for some time. And if he still lives with his ex and is claiming, “We still live together but are not in a relationship” or anything like that, you need to run.
THEY ASK YOU FOR MONEY
If someone you’ve met online asks you for money, this is a red flag you cannot and should not ignore. It’s one of the most obvious signs that someone is talking to you for all the wrong reasons. No one you’ve just met should be asking you for money. It doesn’t matter how much you have in common or what kind of a connection you feel. There are people out there who will prey on your kindness. You might want to believe that everyone is good and wouldn’t ask you for money unless they were desperate, but you can bet they’ve done this to people before and will continue to do it.
HE’S JUST VISITING
Yeah…bye. If he’s “just visiting” he is just here to try hook-up for the first time. Not interested. Swipe left!
HE ISN’T ON GOOD TERMS WITH ANY OF HIS EXES
Okay, so I’m not saying he should be homies with his exes from high school, but if he legit HATES, and advertises his hate, for every single one of his exes, odds are he was the problem in those relationships. A guy who talks mad sh*t about an ex is a jerk. Unless he was seriously insane and, like, set his house on fire or something.
HE COMPLAINS… A LOT
He’s a pissed off person. Sure, there are times when he’s in a good mood, but more often than not, he’s got something negative to say about someone else. It might be fun and maybe it doesn’t really bother you. But just remember, negativity is contagious. The more time you spend with someone like that, the more likely it is you’ll become a negative person. You don’t want that, do you?
HE IS RUDE TO WAIT STAFF AND OTHERS
If the guy you are with on the first date treats wait staff, box office attendants or others disrespectfully or rudely, he is showing his true colors. He is also demonstrating that he is a jerk and is likely unaware of how uncomfortable his behavior makes you feel.
If the guy you are out on a first date with is treating people like crap, how do you think he will treat you down the road?
HE’S NEVER HAD HIS HEART BROKEN
How the hell is he a 20-something who’s never had his heart broken?? Seems fishy, no? If he’s never suffered the sting of rejection it’s because 1) he’s never fully given himself to another person or 2) he’s never dated a guy he truly liked. Literally, those are the only two options. And both options mean he’s not ready for a serious relationship right now.
Gay dating can be challenging. Most single gay men turn to gay dating apps to help them find a partner, only to discover they are missing a crucial piece of the puzzle: personality compatibility. It’s one of the most important ingredients of attraction, yet it’s not even a small consideration in most dating apps.
Fun Fact: A study published in 2019 titled “Disintermediating your friends: How online dating in the United States displaces other ways of meeting” found that 65% of gay couples met through dating apps. That doesn’t mean it’s always a good experience, though! This is why we highly recommend premier dating sites like Gay Dating Solutions and My Gay Match.
My Gay Match is a new gay dating site that focuses on matching gay men not only on demographic information but a unique personality measure developed by a psychologist. All members are personally confirmed and carefully screened by their staff to prove that they are real. If you’re looking to find a warm and meaningful connection with interesting and caring singles this is the site for you. The gay dating website is currently offering a free 30-day trial.
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