Prevent a Breakup: Mistakes Gay Men Make in Relationships

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Straight, Gay, LGBT – We all want to have a great relationship but some of us just don’t know how to keep one. Here are some common mistakes Gay men make in relationships.

1. Open Relationships: While we may want to live interesting and experimental lives, the biggest mistake a Gay couple can make is having an open one. You would assume that what you have is enough to make it work, but when you feel like you need more than what you have, it borders problems. You and your partner risk the trouble of falling in love with someone else, having chemistry he might prefer over yours, or risk putting the whole relationship out to dry. While threesomes may be a bit more optional, Open relationships just don’t seem to be the way to go about things and is probably the number one reason Gay relationships don’t work. Sometimes when a relationship doesn’t work its time to move on. Don’t recycle something you’re not going to use again and use OPEN as an excuse.

2. Neediness: A common relationship mistake Gay men make is attaching themselves too much and too quickly. Even twins born together have their own ways of being independent. It is not your partner’s fault if you have had issues in the past with other people or family and it is not his job to pick up the pieces. While there is nothing wrong with loving hard, a Gay man must always learn to have his own voice, his own identity and his own life. If you worry too much about latching on, you run the risk of pushing your partner away.

3. Arguing: No relationship is perfect, and we all argue and disagree sooner or later. But arguing about everything can be very toxic. Stop using excuses about how “Strong” & “Independent” you are to win a fight. Respect boundaries, respect each other and respect space and opinions. While he may not say everything you want to hear, learn to listen and learn to understand. After all, you picked him right? Don’t say anything you’re going to regret later. Sometimes words hurt more than sticks and stones and sometimes saying things in the heat of the moment can result in losing someone you truly love. If it’s not important, let it go. If it’s something you can’t control, learn to vocalize your concerns and learn to keep it to the point. If you are hitting a brick wall, analyze your relationship and make a decision whether he is right for you. But never destroy your relationship with words.

4. Being With Someone For Comfort: (Money, Favors, Apartment) While there is no problem moving in with your boyfriend or sharing an account or money, there is a fine line between sharing and taking more than he wants to give. Don’t get in a relationship because you need stability and he’s your safety net. Learn to work for your own, earn your own and have your own things. There’s nothing worse than having a break-Up and you having to be out on the street because everything belongs to him. While some men may seem amazing at first, you quickly find out they may be using you as well. Be with someone because you love them, not because they can give you something of luxury.

5. Going to the club together: While many may disagree, this is probably the most common mistake a Gay man can make. A club is never a place to spend quality time with your boyfriend. While it may seem innocent and fun, Clubs involve alcohol and a bunch of hot guys (depending on what club you go to). And while you may say that your eyes are only for him, and his for you, there is a lot of distraction and a lot of men who are not afraid to flirt hardcore. Some men go to clubs just to find a man to fuck. If you are not there to hook up do not pretend like its for the music. Unfortunately, in the Gay community there are people who don’t respect what you have and while its all about trust, I don’t think you want to complicate it by having a guy shake his ass in front of you. A small bar or a more lounge upscale place is more convenient. You don’t have to worry about going to the bathroom and leaving your camera phone on.

6. Putting Your Relationship Status on Facebook: You might be that guy who feels like your boyfriend should definitely change his relationship status on FB to prove his love, but this may harm you more than it works for you. Why? Because you or your boyfriend may notice that your friend requests keep growing only because people want to know who this guy is. Some guys don’t care and will hit on your boyfriend even if it says In Relationship. Don’t ask me why they’re like this, but its a fact. Also, you may get upset when these sudden mutual friends leave innuendos or comments on your boyfriends timeline, assuming your stupid enough not to notice. While anyone would assume its all about trust, like the club, some men just have no respect or dignity. So some men are more attracted to what they can’t have or will do things to spite you. So prepare yourself. Sometimes its better to just not put up a relationship status to begin with and just trust your partner. Its up to you.

7. Not Allowing Your Boyfriend To Go Out With Friends: You’re his boyfriend not his master. The biggest mistake a Gay man can do is think he can control his boyfriend. While a lot of Gay couples don’t mind being on a leash and it works for them, some people just need space. This is where trust really comes in. If you feel like you can’t trust your boyfriend enough with any of his friends, then he’s not for you. A good boyfriend is suppose to make you feel secure and know that he is there for you not because you’re around. Same thing with Passwords and emails. If you can’t trust your boyfriend you don’t deserve him. He’s his own person and whether you like it or not, we’re in the real world. Unlike the club where you’re in a close capacity to horny drunk men, the world is full of different people, not all out to get your man. Learn to trust and to live your own life as well. Some things you can do together and some apart.

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6 Relationship Mistakes Gay Men Make Over And Over Again

While there were a couple of good points made, for the most part we GAGGED at what we were reading (if your relationship can’t survive a Facebook status, you got other issues). It also made us feel sad that men really attribute these shallow reasons to why their relationships aren’t working. We felt it was only natural for us to give our OPINION on why many Gay Relationships fail.
1. Thou Shall Communicate – We as men are taught to bottle up our emotions, lock them away in a vault, and leave them to be internally dealt with at a later time. Little do we know, every time that bottle is shaken the pressure continuously builds until the bottle bursts. In relationships, this manifests itself in the form of resentment, bickering, petty arguments and the like. That can be the beginning of the end of your relationship. Letting your partner know what’s going on with you and/or that what they are doing or saying is affecting you is paramount for a successful relationship. Keep in mind that LISTENING is also a part of communication, so be sure to hear what your partner is trying to communicate to you as well.
2. …such a huge EGO – We all have one. We are born with it. And it’s not going anywhere, right? WRONG! Ego is perhaps the #1 root of all evil in gay relationships. As if having two head strong alpha males vying for leadership isn’t enough, add in the self-fulfilling, narcissistic nature of the EGO and making a relationship work really becomes a constant challenge. Everyone is out to win when the ego is involved and we must understand that relationships are not about competition amongst partners but rather remaining on common ground with each other. How can you remain on common ground when your ego is telling you to go for the win? You can’t. And you won’t – at least not for the long haul.
3. Like Talking to a BRICK WALL: Vulnerability – Everyone’s afraid of being hurt and no one wants to be the fool so over time we build a wall between us and the world. We say it’s for protection but what are we hiding from? We are scared to give someone our heart completely because of the fear of being abandoned. We ask ourselves questions like, “Will he love me as much as I love him”? But how can you truly win at love if you are not giving up all of yourself? Don’t be afraid to let your man know how much you love and care for him. SHOW HIM. Stop playing the games. Stop giving the “let me see if he really loves me” tests. The more games you play the more you push the possibilities of a REAL relationship away. So knock down those stubborn bricks and allow yourself to BE VULNERABLE!
4. Bed Room Eyes – “What your man won’t do somebody else will.” I’m sure we all of heard this statement a million and one times before. We sometimes pinned up sexual desires that our partner may or may not want to partake in. The fact is, most times we don’t effectively communicate to our partners what we really want in the bedroom. We think we know how they will react to our desires therefore we don’t give him the chance to answer for himself. Sure we may mention it in jest or make a small comment about it, but have you actually sat your partner down and expressed to him your needs/wants/desires? Whatever your needs are, your partner has a right to know the importance of those desires to you. Be open about what you want and go from there. You might be surprised by what you discover about each other.
5. The “Grass Is Greener” Syndrome – It seems as if gay men find it hard to settle down because they are continuously on the prowl for the next best thing: someone with a hotter body, a cuter face, more money, fancier clothes, etc. If we dig deeper, past these superficial things, we would realize that these materialistic treasures are oftentimes a mere cover up for deeper issues.
6. “No Pain, No Gain” – One of the biggest mistakes we make as gay men is abandon our relationships when the going gets tough. Some take it as a sign that the relationship is over because it should never “be this hard”. Relationships are here to challenge each of us individually to help us get over internal hurt, pain, insecurities, shortcomings etc. In order for us to allow relationships to help us grow into a better & stronger person overall, we have to be ready to face what’s TOUGH. Don’t cop out of your relationship by doing what’s “easy”. There will ALWAYS be bumps in the road, so be up for the challenge.
Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!
Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

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