Gay Men News

Bringing the Best in LGBTQ to you

10 Reasons Why You Push Men Away Without Giving Them a Chance

10 Reasons Why You Push Men Away Without Giving Them a Chance image
Posted by Joseph on January 5, 2015

All we are saying… is give men a chance!

There are tons of people in the world who feel undeserving of love. When something great lands in their lap, they’re usually the first to give it back. We fear contentment because in many ways, it destroys our lifelong habit of “searching.” When we find something, there is no need to search any longer – not a lot of people know how to handle it. Trust me when I say that you deserve love, but you need to be the bigger person sometimes. Pushing anything good away before you give it a chance seldom has to do with them, and everything to do with YOU. Here are a few reasons why you might be jumping the gun:

#1) You dwell too much on his “bad habits.”
Most of these traits are completely insignificant and only effect the most OCD amongst us, but you’d be surprised how many guys blame a man’s laugh, eye twitch, or ability to leave an empty bag of chips on the counter as the sole purpose for their broken connection.
Here’s the thing. A long-term relationship doesn’t come without compromise. Sometimes you have to know if a man is worth it. For example, my last boyfriend never lifted the toilet seat when he went to the bathroom. I’d come in to find little droplets of pee on the seat and I’d get so frustrated with him that my face would turn red. There came a time when I realized if I just shut up and wiped it off myself, I’d save much more time and stress than screaming at him for the millionth time. After months of doing that, he saw what I was doing and began to become aware – he realized I loved in spite of such a small pet peeve. He also did the same for me in many instances. No relationship is perfectly compatible, but you have to choose your battles and know how not to sweat the small stuff. If a man is worth it, who gives a f**k about the little things?

#2) You’re chronically unsatisfied.
Some people are programmed to be unsatisfied with everything. Nothing, and I mean nothing, is good enough. We see these people in the line at Starbucks, they’re seated next to us at the nice restaurant, and we probably have worked with them at one point in time. Don’t be that person.
Take a look at your day-to-day routine and note the things you find satisfactory. If the unsatisfactory list is significantly longer than the satisfactory ones, chances are you have become chronically unsatisfied and it undoubtedly seeps into your love life. Before you read the book, stop assuming it’s going to be awful. You’re one step closer towards becoming a cynical asshole. No one wants that kind of trait in a romantic partner.

#3) You blame it on bad timing.
When a great man comes into your life, you’re quick to say he came at a bad time. This often interferes with how you choose to move forward. Trust me when I say no one believes this excuse anymore. Here’s the thing about the universe: love is attracted to love, so in order to have found it you must have been feeling it inside. You were giving love to the world, so love attracted its way to you. How is that bad timing?
Love isn’t a scientific equation like, say, gravity. When you drop something, it’s going to fall (thank you gravity). Often times we think if we put ourselves out there, change our status, flirt with strangers and do everything we read in self-help websites that love is guaranteed to appear. It doesn’t work like that. More often than not it appears when you least expect it because no one can consciously create love so much as you can consciously create gravity. You just feel it. It’s just there. It’s a combination of contentment, inner peace and the courage to not apologize for feeling good. Feel the love inside and you’re sure to see the love everyone has to offer. You meet in the middle. In my opinion, that’s perfect timing.

#4) You reject him before he can reject you.
One of the most repetitive patterns I find is people’s anticipation of getting dumped. I hate the word “dump.” It signifies that someone rejected everything about you, when, in 99.9% of the cases, it had to do with relationship compatibility rather than each other. You smell rejection coming and before you have a second to ask yourself why, you’d rather be the one to do the dumping because it gives you the power. This is very common among serial daters. Trust me, nothing is ever as serious as it is in your head. History won’t repeat itself when you’re with the right person, but you have to give him a chance to show his true colors. He’s not your ex, remember that.

#5) Your rules are unrealistic.
Gay guys have a high standard of judgment that’s nearly impossible to please reach. Hell, even we find it hard to match our own pentacle. But more than the physical necessities, there are certain “rules” we have when finding a boyfriend. We have a list, which might include someone who is well traveled, well read, professional who wants a family, etc. These are all nice, but many guys take it a step further by demanding their boyfriends to be masculine, athletic, a great chef, owns his own business, etc. Unless they have all the above (including the physical requirements), he’s not seen as good enough. Trust me when I say these types of men only exist in novels. It’s time to expand your horizons.

#6) You’re over thinking your gut.
I have always said the truth lies inside your gut, but too many guys are afraid to feel. They’d rather think. The second our intuition (gut) sends us a message, we send it straight to our intellect (our thoughts) for analysis. We over intellectualize everything and beat it to death till there’s nothing left to feel. Once it’s all over, we tend to forget what it was we felt in the first place. How is this ever going to benefit us? Sometimes it’s best to sit inside your intuition for moments longer than you’re used to. You might surprise yourself.

#7) You’re scared to admit you’re scared.
Fear prevents you from doing brave things, but it’s mandatory for you to find courage. No warrior has entered a battle without fear – that would make him too careless and arrogant to think precisely. They enter battles despite the fear, which makes them courageous and heroic.
When it comes to romance, we fear bucket loads of things. We’re scared of being alone, we’re scared of rejection, we’re scared of what could happen if it actually worked out, we’re scared of losing our identities, our dreams, etc. Fear drives our decisions whether we see it or not, so it’s time to stare face-to-face with fear then push it away. That’s when you become a hero.

#8) You feel like you don’t deserve him.
Never underestimate yourself. If you don’t believe in what you have to offer, what makes you think anyone else will? Would you say no to a winning lottery ticket if someone gave it to you? Would you say no to a free ride to work if you needed it? Would you say no if a stewardess offered you a free dinner on a flight? Of course you wouldn’t. When something good comes, you ought to accept it without questioning it.

#9) You think you can do better.
There are times when this applies, but the truth is no one is allowed to say it until they’ve actually seen the soil beneath a man’s feet. It’s hard to say you can do better when you’ve only gone on three dates. Everyone is putting their best image forward during the beginning stages; it’s usually around the first couple months you begin to feel comfortable enough to bring your true selves to the table. Throwing the “you can do better” card is a cop out lazy people tend to use because they don’t feel like investing any more time, which is okay too. But don’t jump the gun before you’ve seen him for who he is.

#10) It’s how you were taught to love.
You’ve learned that showing love means to distance yourself whenever the emotions spring up. Your parents trained you to think this way, as well as most relationships you’ve placed on a pedestal. This is hard work to overcome (I know from personal experience), but it’s work that pays off in many ways. You need to understand that everyone makes mistakes, and your parents failed you when it came to learning how to love. But you are now an adult who needs to learn for himself. It’s never too late to learn that love is a very good thing.

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?
Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!
Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!
Like us on Facebook:

Tags: #BigBankChallenge #BohemianKissChallenge #EqualityActJapan #StopAsianHate 12 Dates of Christmas 2020 Olympics Aaron Schock Adam Castillejo Adam Rippon addiction ageism Aging AhTave AIDS Aime Wichtendal Alaska Alex Morse Almost Love America's Next Top Model American Medical Association Amy Coney Barrett Annise Parker Antes Que El Mundo Se Acabe Anti-Asian Violence Anti-LGBTQ ANTM anxiety Aptima HIV-1 Arizona Armie Hammer astrology At-home date Atlanta Atlanta Black Pride Atlanta GA Atlanta Nightlife Atlanta Pride Atlanta Pride Run Atlanta’s Queer History Bicycle Tour Austin Swink Austin Texas Austin TX Backpacks for the Street Basel Abou Hamrah BFI Flare Bisexual BLACK GAY MEN Black LGBTQ Atlanta Black Lives Matter Black Love Bohemian Rhapsody Boston Boston MA Boston Nightlife Brian Sims Broadway bully Bullying California Call Me By Your Name Canada Capital Pride Capitalism Cason Crane Celebrity News censorship Chemistry Chemsex Chicago Chicago IL Chris Evans Christian proselytizing Christianity Christmas Christmas commercial Christmas movie Christmas Movies Chucky Circus of Books civil unions Cody McCook Colorado Comedy coming out commentary compatibility Confidence Congress conspiracy theory Conversion therapy CoronaVirus Court Vox COVID COVID-19 Covid-19 vaccine Cubbyhole NYC daddy Dallas Dallas Gay Bars Dallas Gayborhood Dallas Texas Danica Roem Daniel Harding Daniel Howell Date night dating dating advice Dating Apps Dating Red Flags dating rut dating tips DC Pride Dead to Me Denver Depression discrimination Disney Documentary Dolf Pasker Dolly Parton Domestic Violence Donald Trump Donna Price Drag Race drag racing Dustin Lance Black election Election 2020 Election Day Elite Employment Entertainment Entertainment news epidemic Fabio Fasoli Family family gatherings Film Finding True Love First Date First Date Etiquette first date ideas first date tips Flirting Tips Flirty Dancing Florida Fort Lauderdale Franklin Graham Freddie Mercury Garrett Clayton gay gay asian gay asian men Gay Atlanta Gay Austin Gay Bars NYC Gay beaches Gay Boston Gay Boston Nightlife Gay Chicago Gay Christmas Gay Couple Gay Couples Gay Culture Gay Dallas Gay Dallas Nightlife gay dating gay dating advice gay dating app gay dating apps Gay Dating Red Flags Gay Dating Solutions Gay Dating Tips Gay DC gay discrimination gay film Gay Florida Gay Fort Lauderdale Gay Health Gay Holiday Movie Gay Houston gay kiss Gay Love Advice gay marriage gay marriage proposal gay men Gay Miami gay midlife Gay Mountaineer Gay Movies Gay New York Gay nightlife Gay Nurse Gay NYC Gay Panic Gay Pride gay relationship advice gay relationship tips gay relationships Gay Santa Gay Scene gay seniors gay sex gay singles Gay Soldier Gay Travel Gay Twitter Gay Washington DC Gay Wedding gay weddings Gay Widower Gays Over COVID gaysian Gen Z Generation Z Georgia Gert Kasteel Ghosting GLAAD GOP Gorsuch Greater Houston LGBTQ Chamber of Commerce grindr Guy Vandenberg Gym Gays Haaz Sleiman Hallmark Halloween Hate Crime HBO Max Health HGVT HIV HIV prevention HIV stigma HIV treatment HIV vaccine HIV/AIDS hobbies Holi-date Holiday Film Holiday Movies Holidays Hollywood Holyoke Homophobia hooking up hookup hookup culture Hot Vax Summer House Hunters Houston Houston Texas Houston TX Hulu Ian Jordan Indya Moore Instagay Instagram intersex Intimacy Intimacy coach Iowa Iowa caucus isolation It's A Sin Jake Gyllenhaal James Bushe Japan Jaymes Vaughan Jayson Conner Jeffrey Newman Jennifer Tilly Jewish Jewish persecution Joe Biden Jonathan Bennett Josef Salvat Jussi-Pekka Kajaala Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg JVN Jwan Yosef Karamo Brown Kristine Stolakis Lady Gaga Lesbian lesbian couple Let It Snow LGBT LGBT Austin LGBT Travel Guide LGBT-Free Zones LGBTQ LGBTQ Asians LGBTQ Atlanta LGBTQ Austin LGBTQ Boston LGBTQ Chicago LGBTQ Dallas LGBTQ DC LGBTQ discrimination LGBTQ employees LGBTQ Family LGBTQ Film LGBTQ Film Festival LGBTQ Films LGBTQ flag LGBTQ Fort Lauderdale LGBTQ Health LGBTQ History LGBTQ Houston LGBTQ Miami LGBTQ movies LGBTQ New York LGBTQ nightlife LGBTQ NYC LGBTQ Pride LGBTQ retirees LGBTQ retirement LGBTQ Rights LGBTQ Seniors LGBTQ Victory Institute LGBTQ Youth Life Lifetime Lifetime TV Network Linda Warren lockdown London LGBTIQ+ Film Festival loneliness Love Victor Love Wins Luke Evans Male Nurse Malik Brown marriage equality marriage proposal Marsha P Johnson Marvel Marvin Cortes Massachusetts mature gay dating mental health Mexico Miami Miami Beach Miami Beach Pride Miami Florida Miami nightlife Michael Cashman Michael Henry Middle-aged gay men midlife Modern Family mormon Mr. Right Muscle gays music video My Gay Match NASCAR National Coming Out Day Nationwide Conversion Therapy Ban Neil Gorsuch Netflix Netflix Special Nevada New Year's Resolution New York New York City Nonbinary North Dakota Northern Ute tribe Norway Nurse Appreciation Week NYC NYC Events NYC Pride NYC Pride 2021 Oak Lawn Obergefell v. Hodges older gay man Omander Omar Ayuso One True Pairing online dating online dating apps online dating tips online gay dating Online trolls Open Relationship Operation Hyacinth OTP Outfest Outfest LA 2021 Outfest Los Angeles Pan-African Pride pandemic Paper Moons Pat Robertson Pennsylvania Perez Hilton personality Personality Matching personality type Pete Buttigieg Pink Capitalism Poland Politics polyamorous polyamorous relationship polyamorous relationships Pope Francis Pose power bottom Pray Away PrEP pride Pride 2021 Pride Afrique Pride Flag Pride Month Prince Harry profile pic Puerto Vallarta quarantine Queer eye Queer Film Queer Films Queer Holiday Movies Queer Lawmakers Queer Love Story Queer Santa Queer Youth racism Rafa Olarra Rainbow Wave red flags Reddit Relationship relationship advice Relationship Tips relationships religion Rep. Andy Biggs Republican retirement Ricky Martin rom-com Romantic Comedy Ryan Murphy Ryan O’Connell Samaritan’s Purse same sex marriage Same Sex Relationships Same Sex Wedding Same-Sex Couples Same-Sex Kiss same-sex marriage same-sex marriage ban Santa Claus Schitt’s Creek Score Miami Score Nightclub Scott Evans Scott Wiener Section 28 self isolation self-care Senior Gay Dating Senior Gay Men senior gays Senior Prom Seven Summits sex Sex and Intimacy Sex Education sex life sexual identity sexual preference sexual racism sexuality short film Shy Gay Guys Single All the Way single gay man Single Gay Men Single Gays Single Young Gays social distancing social isolation social media Social Security Somerville South Florida sports Stonewall Stonewall Riots straight men Super Bowl ads Super Bowl commercials Super Bowl LIV Supreme Court Switzerland Syfy Syria Tan France Television Tennessee The Boys in the Band The Center on Colfax The Christmas Setup The Eternals The First The Thing About Harry Threesome throuple TikTok Tom Daley toxic gay relationship toxic masculinity toxic relationships Transgender Travel Travis Shumake true love Trump administration Turner Free TV series Tweets Twitter Unconditional Love United Methodist Church US economy US Supreme Court Valentine's day viral news viral video Virginia Washington DC Web Series Wedding When Harry met Santa Workplace workplace discrimination World AIDS Day World Pride Young Gay Guys young gay men Youth YouTube

Leave a reply

Related articles
image for Fox News VP Slams Olympics Team for ‘Darker, Gayer, Different’ Agenda
Fox News VP Slams Olympics Team for ‘Darker, Gayer, Different’ Agenda

And people are not happy Fox News executive vice president John Moody has slammed the US Olympics team for being ‘darker, gayer, different’. The executive editor at the conservative news channel has slammed the organizing committee for making the team more diverse. Reactions have slammed Moody for racism and homophobia.…

image for Download Gay Dating Solutions’ New Mobile Apps
Download Gay Dating Solutions’ New Mobile Apps

Without a doubt, gay dating in 2018 is an art form. If you’re a single gay man and looking for love, you know where the gay dating scene is. It’s online. But whether you’ve met 100 online dates or zero, it’s a tricky little business. There’s such a grand variety…

image for Single and Over 50: Is Online Gay Dating For You?
Single and Over 50: Is Online Gay Dating For You?

Are you over 50 and thinking about trying online gay dating? For those looking to start dating again over the age of 50 it can be a daunting prospect, especially if you’re a gay man. Separations from long-term relationships and the loss of loved ones can leave us feeling unsure…

image for What is The Best Gay Dating App for You?
What is The Best Gay Dating App for You?

There is no shortage of gay men to message and potentially meet up with online, as thousands of gay guys are hopping on and off different dating apps all the time. But what is the best gay dating app for you? At Gay Dating Solutions we pride ourselves on finding…

image for We Now Have Mobile Apps So You Can Use Gay Dating Solutions On The Go!
We Now Have Mobile Apps So You Can Use Gay Dating Solutions On The Go!

Love month is upon us!! Does your hectic work schedule prevent you from dating, but you still want to find your soul mate? Keep your love matches on the go and at your fingertips with Gay Dating Solutions‘ NEW mobile apps! Download today & feel free to share with your gay friends: 📱