fbpx

Gay Men News

Bringing the Best in LGBTQ to you

ABC’s ‘Modern Family’ Finale is The End of An Era — and Hopefully The Beginning of A New One

ABC’s ‘Modern Family’ Finale is The End of An Era — and Hopefully The Beginning of A New One image
Entertainment LGBTQ News
Posted by Joseph on April 14, 2020
22 views

ERIC STONESTREET, JESSE TYLER FERGUSON, AUBREY ANDERSON-EMMONS

Ten years from now, I hope my kids won’t see themselves as the product of a modern family, just a normal, loving one.

A decade ago, two gay dads and a lesbian couple raising two teens helped change the face of American families. The fictional TV dads, Cam and Mitchell of “Modern Family” and the characters in the film “The Kids are Alright” pushed LGBTQ parents into the pop culture mainstream. Their appearance on the small and the big screens spurred news reports, scholarly articles and blog posts about the growing phenomenon of gay parenting. More importantly, they sparked a cultural conversation about something many gay people had been trying to say for years — kids raised by LGBTQ parents are no different than the children of straight marriages.

More importantly, they sparked a cultural conversation about something many gay people had been trying to say for years.

Now as “Modern Family” prepares for its series finale Wednesday night, I’m concerned that those portrayals may have had an unintended effect, leaving a generation of kids unprepared for the reality of the world we now live in.

At the time of the debut of “Modern Family,” I worked for an advocacy group championing the rights of the up to 3.7 million kids under 18 with an LGBTQ parent. My own children were among that group. So, as a gay parent and as a professional in the movement, I hailed “Modern Family” as a long overdue, positive depiction of our families. In the mid 2000s, we were fighting state laws and federal policies around foster care and adoption that prevented or jeopardized the ability of LGBTQ people to create or protect their families. Anti-gay forces seemed particularly adept at marshaling arguments to try and deny us legal rights, slander us in the media and demean our families in public.

In the face of this right-wing onslaught, “Modern Family” was a cultural counterpunch. It helped undermine negative stereotypes about gay and lesbian parents and set the stage for the following decade and increasingly positive representations of our families on everything from soup ads to sitcoms.

These positive narratives weren’t gay propaganda. Dozens of studies showed that the children of gays and lesbians had the same outcomes in life as kids raised by different sex couples. And we were quick to cite those to anyone who might deny our right to be families.

But a rainbow-washed depiction of our families as well-adjusted also did us a disservice. They created expectations that no family, gay or straight, could ever live up to. Gay parents felt a subtle pressure to always put a positive face on our parenting, especially in public. Carefully curated social media posts showed how happy and well-adjusted we were. When journalists came looking for media-friendly parents, I myself offered up newspaper quotes, volunteered my husband for radio interviews and posed my two daughters and our dog for cute photo spreads. It was all for the cause. Messaging about love and our families helped change public opinion about marriage equality and bolstered arguments that led to the passage of other laws protecting the rights of LGBTQ people.

But a rainbow-washed depiction of our families as well-adjusted also did us a disservice.

During that decade of progress, I remained mindful of how people might perceive us not only when we appeared in the media, but also casually, in carpool lanes and on soccer sidelines. And my kids, sensing my fear of an invisible, judging audience tried hard to play their part.

The result, I hoped, was that the world might see our family as special and exceptional. But that came at a cost. I was slow to recognize the times when they struggled with acceptance at school, with their own self-perceptions and with our identity as a family. In an effort to demonstrate how we fit into the mainstream of America, I forgot how just different our LGBTQ families are and the unique challenges our kids face.

In fact, African Americans and Latinos who are LGBTQ are more likely to be raising kids than their white counterparts. Those families have lower incomes than straight families. According to the Williams Institute, married or partnered LGBTQ parents with children are twice as likely as heterosexual couples with children to be living near the poverty line.

The complex diversity of some of our families is both a strength and a challenge. The Williams Institute also found that LGBTQ people and same-sex couples are six times more likely to foster and four times more likely to adopt than their non-LGBTQ counterparts. And same-sex couples with adopted children are twice as likely to be white. My own adopted daughters sometimes face questions about being part of a rainbow family that is part white, part black and all Jewish.

And while they are growing up in a country that increasingly is more diverse, my kids are living in a time where they must fight even harder for equity and inclusion. Hard-won battles of a decade ago are under renewed attack. In states such as Michigan and Tennessee, judges have ruled that religion-based adoption agencies can deny placements to LGBTQ parents. Working parents are closely watching the Supreme Court this term in case it rules on whether employers can discriminate based on sexual orientation or identity.

LGBTQ people are also among the minority groups experiencing a recent upsurge in reports of discrimination, bullying and hate crimes. It’s easy for the media to look at national coming-out month and pride festivities as evidence that queer people and their families have achieved full social acceptance. But in reality, our kids go to school afraid of celebrating their parents as gay or lesbian.

And while we are struggling to stitch ourselves more seamlessly into the American fabric, our country seems to be dividing. It’s a hard enough environment right now for us adults. It’s even harder for kids, especially those who are part of rainbow families.

Yet, the cultural conversation has also shifted over the last 10 years — hopefully in a way that’s more realistic. “Modern Family” helped pave the way for shows like “Transparent,” which reflected the very real presence of trans families in our country. Other TV shows, movies and even commercials now reflect how we LGBTQ families talk about and see ourselves in the world. As an example, my kids today have a more balanced view of gay families. They now see marriage equality in the world and yes, gay divorce. They see examples of people who have bad parenting moments, and who also happen to be gay. And my kids know they’re not expected to be model citizens for me nor the poster children for any cause.

As a generation, these kids face unique challenges in their lives — not because their parents are gay or lesbian, but because their gay and lesbian parents face legal discrimination, racial bias, economic inequality and social stigma.

Ten years from now, when my own kids begin thinking of starting their own families, I hope the climate and cultural conversation has advanced to an even better place. They won’t be the product of a modern family, just a normal, loving one. And no one will hold them up as exemplars for a movement. Until then, I want my daughters to realize they’re not perfect kids. We’re not a perfect family. And we live in a less than perfect America where they can’t always neatly fit in. And it’s alright.

.

.

Check out the original story here: NBC Out.

.

.

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you! Don’t get fooled by free offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a FREE 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Sign-up now: www.gaydatingsolutions.com

Download our mobile apps: https://appurl.io/jd0jaqp0

Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

Tweet us: twitter.com/GayDating101

Tags: #BigBankChallenge #BohemianKissChallenge #EqualityActJapan #StopAsianHate 2020 Olympics Aaron Schock Adam Castillejo Adam Rippon addiction ageism Aging AhTave AIDS Aime Wichtendal Alaska Alex Morse Almost Love America's Next Top Model American Medical Association Amy Coney Barrett Annise Parker Antes Que El Mundo Se Acabe Anti-Asian Violence Anti-LGBTQ ANTM anxiety Aptima HIV-1 Arizona Armie Hammer astrology At-home date Atlanta Atlanta Black Pride Atlanta Nightlife Atlanta Pride Atlanta Pride Run Austin Swink Austin Texas Backpacks for the Street Basel Abou Hamrah BFI Flare Bisexual BLACK GAY MEN Black LGBTQ Atlanta Black Lives Matter Black Love Bohemian Rhapsody Boston Boston MA Brian Sims Broadway bully Bullying California Call Me By Your Name Canada Capital Pride Capitalism Cason Crane Celebrity News censorship Chemistry Chemsex Chicago Chicago IL Chris Evans Christian proselytizing Christianity Christmas Christmas movie Christmas Movies Chucky Circus of Books civil unions Cody McCook Colorado Comedy coming out commentary compatibility Confidence Congress conspiracy theory Conversion therapy CoronaVirus COVID COVID-19 Covid-19 vaccine daddy Dallas Dallas Gay Bars Dallas Gayborhood Dallas Texas Danica Roem Daniel Harding Daniel Howell Date night dating Dating Apps dating rut dating tips DC Pride Dead to Me Denver Depression discrimination Disney Documentary Dolf Pasker Dolly Parton Domestic Violence Donald Trump Donna Price Drag Race drag racing Dustin Lance Black election Election 2020 Election Day Elite Employment Entertainment Entertainment news epidemic Fabio Fasoli Family family gatherings Film Finding True Love First Date First Date Etiquette first date ideas first date tips Flirting Tips Flirty Dancing Florida Fort Lauderdale Franklin Graham Freddie Mercury Garrett Clayton gay gay asian gay asian men Gay Atlanta Gay beaches Gay Boston Gay Chicago Gay Couple Gay Couples Gay Culture Gay Dallas Gay Dallas Nightlife gay dating gay dating advice gay dating app gay dating apps Gay Dating Solutions Gay Dating Tips gay discrimination gay film Gay Florida Gay Fort Lauderdale Gay Health Gay Holiday Movie Gay Houston gay kiss Gay Love Advice gay marriage gay marriage proposal gay men Gay Miami gay midlife Gay Mountaineer Gay Movies Gay New York Gay Nurse Gay Panic Gay Pride gay relationship advice gay relationship tips gay relationships Gay Scene gay seniors gay sex gay singles Gay Soldier Gay Travel Gay Twitter Gay Wedding gay weddings Gay Widower Gays Over COVID gaysian Gen Z Generation Z Georgia Gert Kasteel Ghosting GLAAD GOP Gorsuch Guy Vandenberg Gym Gays Haaz Sleiman Hallmark Halloween Hate Crime Health HGVT HIV HIV prevention HIV stigma HIV treatment HIV vaccine HIV/AIDS hobbies Holi-date Holiday Film Holiday Movies Holidays Hollywood Holyoke Homophobia hooking up hookup hookup culture Hot Vax Summer House Hunters Houston Texas Houston TX Hulu Ian Jordan Indya Moore Instagay Instagram intersex Intimacy Iowa Iowa caucus isolation It's A Sin Jake Gyllenhaal James Bushe Japan Jaymes Vaughan Jayson Conner Jeffrey Newman Jennifer Tilly Jewish Jewish persecution Joe Biden Jonathan Bennett Josef Salvat Jussi-Pekka Kajaala Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg JVN Jwan Yosef Karamo Brown Kristine Stolakis Lady Gaga Lesbian lesbian couple Let It Snow LGBT LGBT Travel Guide LGBT-Free Zones LGBTQ LGBTQ Asians LGBTQ Atlanta LGBTQ Boston LGBTQ Chicago LGBTQ Dallas LGBTQ discrimination LGBTQ employees LGBTQ Family LGBTQ Film LGBTQ Film Festival LGBTQ Films LGBTQ flag LGBTQ Fort Lauderdale LGBTQ Health LGBTQ Houston LGBTQ Miami LGBTQ movies LGBTQ New York LGBTQ NYC LGBTQ Pride LGBTQ retirees LGBTQ retirement LGBTQ Rights LGBTQ Seniors LGBTQ Victory Institute LGBTQ Youth Life Lifetime Lifetime TV Network Linda Warren lockdown London LGBTIQ+ Film Festival loneliness Love Victor Luke Evans Male Nurse Malik Brown marriage equality marriage proposal Marsha P Johnson Marvel Marvin Cortes Massachusetts mature gay dating mental health Mexico Miami Miami Beach Miami Beach Pride Miami Florida Michael Cashman Michael Henry Middle-aged gay men midlife Modern Family mormon Mr. Right Muscle gays music video My Gay Match NASCAR National Coming Out Day Nationwide Conversion Therapy Ban Neil Gorsuch Netflix Netflix Special Nevada New Year's Resolution New York New York City Nonbinary North Dakota Northern Ute tribe Nurse Appreciation Week NYC NYC Events NYC Pride NYC Pride 2021 Oak Lawn Obergefell v. Hodges older gay man Omander Omar Ayuso One True Pairing online dating online dating apps online dating tips online gay dating Online trolls Open Relationship Operation Hyacinth OTP Outfest Outfest LA 2021 Outfest Los Angeles Pan-African Pride pandemic Paper Moons Pat Robertson Pennsylvania Perez Hilton personality personality type Pete Buttigieg Pink Capitalism Poland Politics polyamorous polyamorous relationship polyamorous relationships Pope Francis Pose power bottom Pray Away PrEP pride Pride 2021 Pride Afrique Pride Flag Pride Month Prince Harry profile pic Puerto Vallarta quarantine Queer eye Queer Film Queer Films Queer Holiday Movies Queer Lawmakers Queer Love Story Queer Santa Queer Youth racism Rafa Olarra Rainbow Wave Reddit Relationship relationship advice Relationship Tips relationships religion Rep. Andy Biggs Republican retirement Ricky Martin rom-com Romantic Comedy Ryan Murphy Ryan O’Connell Samaritan’s Purse same sex marriage Same Sex Relationships Same Sex Wedding Same-Sex Couples Same-Sex Kiss same-sex marriage ban Schitt’s Creek Score Miami Score Nightclub Scott Evans Scott Wiener Section 28 self isolation self-care Senior Gay Dating Senior Gay Men senior gays Senior Prom Seven Summits sex Sex Education sex life sexual identity sexual preference sexual racism sexuality short film Shy Gay Guys Single All the Way single gay man Single Gay Men Single Gays Single Young Gays social distancing social isolation social media Social Security Somerville sports Stonewall Stonewall Riots straight men Super Bowl ads Super Bowl commercials Super Bowl LIV Supreme Court Switzerland Syfy Syria Tan France Television Tennessee The Boys in the Band The Center on Colfax The Christmas Setup The Eternals The First The Thing About Harry Threesome throuple TikTok Tom Daley toxic masculinity Transgender Travel Travis Shumake Trump administration Turner Free TV series Tweets Twitter Unconditional Love United Methodist Church US economy US Supreme Court Valentine's day viral video Virginia Washington DC Web Series Wedding Workplace workplace discrimination World AIDS Day World Pride young gay men Youth YouTube

1 Comments
ABC’s ‘Modern Family’ Finale is The End of An Era — and Hopefully The Beginning of A New One – Real Gay dating

[…] post ABC’s ‘Modern Family’ Finale is The End of An Era — and Hopefully The Beginning … appeared first on Gay Men […]

Leave a reply

Related articles
image for 7 Reasons to Visit Fort Lauderdale, Florida’s Gay Capital
7 Reasons to Visit Fort Lauderdale, Florida’s Gay Capital

Welcoming more than 1.1 million LGBTQ visitors a year, Greater Fort Lauderdale comes by its inclusiveness natu

More
image for How Syfy’s “Chucky” Series Ups the Queerness in the Iconic Horror Franchise
How Syfy’s “Chucky” Series Ups the Queerness in the Iconic Horror Franchise

That’s right: There’s a tender gay teen romance at the heart of Chucky, out creator Don Mancini’s TV series spin-off.

More
image for Score Miami Presents A Halloween Spectacular 2021
Score Miami Presents A Halloween Spectacular 2021

Dress in your most sinful costumes for a night of debauchery as Score Night Club hosts its annual Halloween event.

More
image for LGBTQ Pride Events in Atlanta This Weekend
LGBTQ Pride Events in Atlanta This Weekend

Lining up plans in Atlanta? Whether you're a local, new in town, or just passing through, you'll be sure to find something.

More
image for Dating and Compatibility: Which Personality Type Is Your True Love Match?
Dating and Compatibility: Which Personality Type Is Your True Love Match?

Gay dating can be challenging. Most single gay men turn to gay dating apps to help them find a partner, only to discover they are missing a crucial piece of the puzzle: personality compatibility.

More