Dating and Compatibility: Which Personality Type Is Your True Love Match?

Written by JosephOctober 7, 2021

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Gay dating can be challenging. Most single gay men turn to gay dating apps to help them find a partner, only to discover they are missing a crucial piece of the puzzle: personality compatibility.

Are you a single gay man? Tired of browsing appealing options only to discover that, sometimes, what sounded good isn’t as satisfying as you hoped? Well, I’ve got news for you: you got what you chose. But enough about take-out food, this is supposed to be about personality types and romantic compatibility.

Firstly, let’s consider what an ideal personality type pairing looks like. When it comes to gay dating, it helps to have some similarities in order to ‘get’ each other and some differences to create that spark. 

Without shared ground of some kind, it can be challenging to relate to and understand each other—both of which are essential to any fulfilling relationship. At the same time, having differences helps create the chemistry that’s crucial for attraction and catapults a platonic relationship into something more. 

If each person has complementary strengths and weaknesses, it makes for an unstoppable team.

Recognizing personality types can help your love life in numerous ways. Meeting someone who sweeps you off your feet seems to be the focus for most people, but it’s equally important that when you do meet that special someone, they want to be with you too. 

Knowing and understanding your Myers-Briggs personality type is one of the most powerful tools for personal development and becoming the best version of yourself. It can help you understand your weaknesses, strengths, priorities, values, response to stress and much more. 

This degree of self-awareness is fundamental when it comes to healthy relationships. Maybe you have a strong aversion to conflict? Or you lash out during arguments? Being aware of your own behavior is the first step towards change and self-improvement.

Meeting someone who is also interested in personality types increases the chance of being on the same wavelength. There will already be a shared interest and if both of you know your personality type on your first date, it can create a more interesting starting point for conversation.

When two people are completely incompatible, their behavior becomes completely irrational. Too often, two incompatible people initiate a cycle of mutual emotional immolation, spiraling through love/hate cycles together at the speed of life.

High levels of chemistry with major incompatibilities is bad news. Really bad news. These relationships usually begin quickly and passionately, exploding like a geyser, before dying down just as quickly as it erupted. This tends to happen when logic kicks in and when reality makes itself known. Suddenly, you realize how freaking offensive you find each other, but getting out of such a relationship is easier said than done. Your heart says yes, but your head says no. And then you convince your head to say yes, which in turn makes your heart say no.

Finding the Perfect Match

Spoiler alert: you won’t.

Search all you want, but you will never, ever, find someone who has 100% compatibility with you.

Someone whose life priorities are perfectly aligned with yours may still enjoy completely different leisure activities. You may swoon every time your partner smiles at you but get irritated by how they always make that weird sound when breathing.

100% compatibility doesn’t exist. You’d be dating yourself. And even then, you’re going to have a bad time—I mean, have you spent any time with yourself lately?

70-80% compatibility and chemistry is what you should be aiming for. This is more than enough to have a well-functioning relationship, to build a partnership based on mutual respect, to fall a little more in love with each passing day but also weather the storms when love just doesn’t seem to be enough.

Personality types can help define what matters to you when looking for a partner. Most people have some idea of what kind of person they click with, but using parameters can provide clarity.

Are you looking for someone who is practical and structured to balance out your own go-with-the-flow nature? Or maybe you want to meet a partner that you can share plenty of deep conversations with? By identifying which traits are important to you, you can then work out which personality types encompass these characteristics. 

Gay dating can be challenging. Most single gay men turn to gay dating apps to help them find a partner, only to discover they are missing a crucial piece of the puzzle: personality compatibility. It’s one of the most important ingredients of attraction, yet it’s not even a small consideration in most dating apps.

Fun Fact: A study published in 2019 titled “Disintermediating your friends: How online dating in the United States displaces other ways of meeting” found that 65% of gay couples met through dating apps. That doesn’t mean it’s always a good experience, though! This is why we highly recommend premier dating sites like Gay Dating Solutions and My Gay Match.

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