Dating a Closeted Man

When in a relationship with someone who hasn’t come out, things can get confusing and frustrating. Sometimes, it’s almost too easy to lose your temper, and consider ending the whole thing. We at Gay Dating Solutions understand how hard it can be, but we want you to know that you just have to hang in there. If you really believe you’ve found love, then something like this shouldn’t get in the way. Below, we’ll share a few tips and pieces of advice to help you through it all:

Be Supportive

If your partner hasn’t come out yet, there’s a strong chance that he grew up in a very heteronormative society or family, and has enormous trouble rewiring his brain; so no matter what his feelings are telling him, he is still struggling with his sexuality. He isn’t being stubborn, he’s just scared, and you need to be there for him, supporting him. If he sees how easy it is for you to be out, it may eventually change his mind. You have to remember that he is someone who is terrified of what he’s feeling, because he grew up with everyone around him telling him it isn’t right, and to an extent, he may have believed them. With your constant love and encouragement, he’ll see your relationship as beautiful and right, and it may help him declare his identity to the world.

Be Clear About the Future

If he’s someone who isn’t sure of how to come out, it’s okay, because you can help him with that. But if he never actually plans on coming out, you need to discuss that and see if you’re okay with it. The future is important, since relationships aren’t always short-term. If, one day, you want to flaunt your love, and hold his hand or kiss him whenever you want, you need to tell him. Don’t go on silently hoping that he’ll come out, and get mad when he doesn’t. Talk it out, and it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the end if he’s too comfortable in the closet, it just means a lot more self-control and some sacrifice on your part.

Don’t Let Your Temper Get the Better of You

You know that sense of rage you feel when you hear him tell everyone he’s single, while you’re right there? Or when the waitress is casually hitting on him; or on you for that matter? It’s important to let these things go, and not allow them to turn into catastrophic fights. Yes, of course it gets to you, but think about when you’re alone, and everything is beautiful and perfect. When dating a closeted individual, even the best of us are constantly on the verge of nervous breakdown, but before you start questioning your entire relationship, remember that it’s just as difficult for your partner, and he feels isolated enough without you giving him a  tough time. 

Of course, every relationship is different, and you should just talk it out with your boyfriend and see what works best for you guys. Don’t ever lose sight of what’s important however; your feelings for each other. 

Sponsored by GAY DATING SOLUTIONS (+Gay Dating Soltions)  – Where Gay Men Meet Life Partners and True Friends.