Although I don’t believe in body shaming, I do believe in going to the gym in times of emotional turmoil — because at the gym I’m too busy thinking about how much this treadmill makes me want to die than wondering if I’m going to die alone. If you’re still obsessing over romance after you’ve run five miles, you’re doing it wrong. Run five more and then try to form a coherent thought. Don’t you feel better already?
4. Get caught up on your reading list.
5. Balance your checkbook.
9. Obsess about your friends’ problems instead.Okay, this probably isn’t healthy in the long run, but you will make your friends very happy with your renewed interest in their feelings and the loads of time you will now spend together while eating sorbet and getting all Terms of Endearment, without that cancer stuff. If they ask why you suddenly care about their issues so much, tell them you switched your major to Psych or start stuttering a lot and say you’re auditioning for the new Woody Allen movie. If Helen Hunt can be in one, literally anyone can.
11. Make a cheesy “Female Empowerment” playlist.
12. Start dating other people.
Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?
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