People who are never satisfied will never be satisfactory. Plain and simple. By always saying no, no, no, not only are you boring as hell, but you’re also cynical – and who wants to date that? Human beings are like sponges. We soak up what’s around us. If you’re consistently giving off no’s, be aware that this is exactly what he’s receiving.
You’re dating men, not puzzles. A lot of gay guys out there like to test their men at the beginning by asking them certain questions or putting themselves in particular circumstances and taking notes on their responses. They’ll set rules and unrealistic non-negotiables which are impossible to meet.
Throw the “must have” lists away. It’s only going to prevent you from seeing the good qualities in him. Not to mention, he will constantly feel like he’s being quizzed which will force him to walk on eggshells. Eventually he’ll get tired of it.
Guys don’t want to be a coat hanger. They want someone they can talk to, and have it be a two-way street. One-sided relationships never last, so break the habit before it becomes unbearable. When you fish for compliments, you’re training him how to communicate with you. Sooner or later his pride will begin to wane. Dating should be a privilege, not a job.
Contrary to popular belief, being all over each other isn’t a sign of a happy relationship. When both parties are in love, these things happen naturally and aren’t forced. Sometimes we want so desperately for him to like us that we try to influence the situation by being the first to text, first to grope, first to kiss, first to grab the hand, etc. There’s nothing wrong with this at all, but be aware not to do it when it’s unwanted. Space is much more appreciated than you think.
It’s common to see gay guys jump the gun after the fourth date. Suddenly it’s as if you’ve traveled through time and are eight years ahead in the future. You’re planning your family, you’re introducing him to your family, friends, coworkers, you’re looking at apartments, and everything else that couples of 5 years do. Trust me on this. Stop focusing on the image of what a “couple” is, and start living the experience moment to moment. You’re never going to reach a long term relationship if you don’t appreciate the whole ride.
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