A candlelit table for two at the best table in a fancy restaurant. Champagne. Soft music. Tender words. The essence of romance, right? Maybe, but romance can mean many things. “Sexual attraction, suitable conditions for lovemaking, fascination and enthusiasm” are a few of the definitions in my dictionary. The trouble is, while many of us enjoy lovemaking we’re often a bit bewildered about how to actually be romantic.


The word ‘romantic’ can seem old-fashioned and strange; it makes us think of flowers, boxes of chocolates, and syrupy romance novels. Not our style, we think. Romance is one of the things that make life with a boyfriend different from life with, well, a friend. There’s a spark, a certain way of being with someone. Romance is a type of fun that is the fuel that keeps a relationship running. It’s more than simply being special; it’s a particular way of being special.
Romance does not necessarily mean spending a lot of money on someone. (It especially doesn’t mean spending lots of money on something he doesn’t really want just to try to impress him!) Think of romance as a way of letting your guy know how important he is to you. Romance comes from the heart. It can involve great big things, but romance can just as easily be the sum of lots of little things done with care and attention.


When was the last time you wrote your guy a love letter or bought him a romantic little card? Admit it: you like it when he sends you one. (Email doesn’t count for as much; and those tacky virtual greeting cards hardly count at all.) Taking time to put your thoughts down on paper in your own handwriting says that you are taking the time to do something just for him.

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