This includes horny cat calling when you’re both out in the gayborhoods or anywhere else. The trick is making him feel like you’re paying attention to him, and not the sexy runner in short shorts running by the café you’re sitting at. It’s all about engagement. When you engage with him, he feels like you’re doing more than just “hanging out.” You’re bonding, connecting, and enjoying each other’s company outside of the normal friend zone. Not to mention, it sends a message that you’re emotionally available. Trust me, it’ll be much harder to plant a romantic seed when he’s always catching you eyeing the guy behind him.
Let’s say you’re hanging out with a group of friends and someone pokes fun at the shirt he’s wearing. A best friend would join in on the fun – it’s all harmless right? Well, if you want to take it a step further you should always come to his defense and say something like, “Aw. Stop. I think it’s cute” or pull him aside and say, “Haha. Don’t listen to these a$$holes. You look awesome.” Let him know you have his back and he’ll unconsciously begin to feel more open around you, which will welcome opportunities for intimate thoughts.
I’ve found one of the main reasons why guys considered me a best friend was because I never made an effort to enter his personal space. You should always consider his space no matter what, but there’s a fine line between being cautious and being scared. When we’re asked person questions, we tend to answer them in a personal way, so what would happen if you take a step further?
Let’s say a friend asks you “How was your weekend?” or “What are you up to today?” These are bland scenarios welcoming a generic response. If they took it up a notch with questions like, “Who were you with?” or “Did you have fun?” or “We totally should go there, what do you say?” you’re forced to respond in a personal way. Though they’re small innuendos, they’re non-obvious ways to try and inch yourself into starting a new kind of dialogue.
I’ve seen countless of men heartbroken because they’ve told their network of friends how much they liked so-and-so. Doing this always makes a fool out of him. He’s going to be the one out of the loop, and secrets like this will never stay closeted for long. He’ll eventually find out from someone and he probably will feel awkward because everyone knew except him. This isn’t junior high. There’s no need to make your crush the center of everyone else’s world.
Confiding in a person about how much you adore him is enough. Make sure it’s someone you trust won’t spread it around like wildfire. You never know what will happen in the next three months. You might lose your feelings for him pretty soon and then it would have been a wasted effort. Keep it under wraps for now and never let there be an elephant in the room whenever your group of friends are together. It’s not fair for you and definitely isn’t fair for him.
I get it. You’re best friends and you share everything with each other, but now is a good time to start filtering some of it out. An interesting thing happens when there is an air of mystery. Human beings are natural problem solvers, so much of our mental cravings come from wanting to be in the “know.” This unconsciously brings us closer to whomever we’re targeting at the time. He doesn’t need to know every detail about your daily life. It’ll be much more gratifying for him when he finds out your obsession with Billy Joel, your secret spoon collection, or even the secret spot you like to drive to when you’re stressed. Keep some secrets for yourself so when you open up to him, it makes them all the more special.
Playing hard to get looks good on paper, but only with people you aren’t as close with. Your best friend is a whole other story. Pretending you’re uninterested or trying to look unaffected by his presence will not make him come to you. It will probably get him ticked off. He’s not just some shmuck you met at a party.
Relax a bit and stop trying to play games to win his affection. You already have it. If you want to get him to see you as something more you should work at tightening the bond, not working the field. It’s a little too late for that – you know each other too well already. Upgrade your attitude and start building a new foundation on top of the one you have. Change his outlook on you without changing his opinion.
A best friend hangs out with other best friends, but boyfriends go out together alone. Try and make this a new habit. Not that group outings and parties of mutual friends are bad things necessarily, but too much of them will get you both used to the relationship that currently exists. Eventually it will be hard to imagine anything deeper. Lunches, jogs, happy hours, theater, and coffee are all small gestures, but in the grand scheme of things they tend to be quite lucrative. You’d be surprised what can happen when it’s just the two of you.
There are plenty of ways to drop hints without feeling awkward or invasive, and most of the time you can do them without him knowing it. Sayings things like “You look handsome today” or “I really respect what you did” or “You’re very noble” or “You’re so nice” or “You’re the eye candy tonight” or “You’re the best” allows you to see his reaction and go from there. Comments that boost his confidence will unconsciously make him more comfortable around you, not to mention they give him an idea on how you feel about him. The rest might happen naturally.
Eek! I know, right? Even for gay guys it can be awkward to touch each other in an intimate way. It’s much easier for women. We have a man complex about ourselves and we’re too scared to break it down. But if they can do it in Europe, why can’t we? The slightest touch sends signals all the way to our brain, so the more touching the better.
There are casual ways of touching him without making him think anything’s changed. The secret is makinghim be the one to start touching rather than you. This way, in his mind, he’ll think he’s the one initiating it. Skip the fist pump and start thinking about body contact. Hugging, playful pushing, eye contact, a harmless game of thumb war, drunk palm readings, and shoulder rubs are a lot easier to initiate than you think. Trust me on this.
Our greatest fear is that our entire friendship will be ruined if we let the cat out of the bag. We’re left with constant paranoia. The “friendship” is always at the top of our worry. Everything is surrounding the sake of the relationship, but never should you let this fuel your decision to at least see if it’s possible.
My philosophy is you’ll never know until you try. The only feeling worse than the loss of a friend is the regret of never having tried at all. Start planning outings together – wine & TV marathons, weekly happy hour traditions, or coffee shop meet ups. Find something that works and make it “your time.” Start the transition sooner rather than later, trust me, you don’t want to lose precious time living inside your head.
Don’t lose your confidence when the time comes to tell him the truth. If he starts to realize your attraction and welcomes it, don’t crawl back into your shell. I know how easy it is. The world inside our imagination is much more comfortable than real life. When everything happens exactly how we pictured it, we have the potential of losing our cool and wanting to run away.
Tags: #BigBankChallenge #BohemianKissChallenge #EqualityActJapan #StopAsianHate 2020 Olympics Aaron Schock Adam Castillejo Adam Rippon addiction ageism Aging AhTave AIDS Aime Wichtendal Alaska Alex Morse Almost Love America's Next Top Model American Medical Association Amy Coney Barrett Annise Parker Antes Que El Mundo Se Acabe Anti-Asian Violence Anti-LGBTQ ANTM anxiety Aptima HIV-1 Arizona Armie Hammer astrology At-home date Atlanta Atlanta Black Pride Atlanta Nightlife Atlanta Pride Atlanta Pride Run Austin Swink Austin Texas Backpacks for the Street Basel Abou Hamrah BFI Flare Bisexual BLACK GAY MEN Black LGBTQ Atlanta Black Lives Matter Black Love Bohemian Rhapsody Boston Boston MA Brian Sims Broadway bully Bullying California Call Me By Your Name Canada Capital Pride Capitalism Cason Crane Celebrity News censorship Chemistry Chemsex Chicago Chicago IL Chris Evans Christian proselytizing Christianity Christmas Christmas movie Christmas Movies Chucky Circus of Books civil unions Cody McCook Colorado Comedy coming out commentary compatibility Confidence Congress conspiracy theory Conversion therapy CoronaVirus COVID COVID-19 Covid-19 vaccine daddy Dallas Dallas Gay Bars Dallas Gayborhood Dallas Texas Danica Roem Daniel Harding Daniel Howell Date night dating Dating Apps dating rut dating tips DC Pride Dead to Me Denver Depression discrimination Disney Documentary Dolf Pasker Dolly Parton Domestic Violence Donald Trump Donna Price Drag Race drag racing Dustin Lance Black election Election 2020 Election Day Elite Employment Entertainment Entertainment news epidemic Fabio Fasoli Family family gatherings Film Finding True Love First Date First Date Etiquette first date ideas first date tips Flirting Tips Flirty Dancing Florida Fort Lauderdale Franklin Graham Freddie Mercury Garrett Clayton gay gay asian gay asian men Gay Atlanta Gay beaches Gay Boston Gay Chicago Gay Couple Gay Couples Gay Culture Gay Dallas Gay Dallas Nightlife gay dating gay dating advice gay dating app gay dating apps Gay Dating Solutions Gay Dating Tips gay discrimination gay film Gay Florida Gay Fort Lauderdale Gay Health Gay Holiday Movie Gay Houston gay kiss Gay Love Advice gay marriage gay marriage proposal gay men Gay Miami gay midlife Gay Mountaineer Gay Movies Gay New York Gay Nurse Gay Panic Gay Pride gay relationship advice gay relationship tips gay relationships Gay Scene gay seniors gay sex gay singles Gay Soldier Gay Travel Gay Twitter Gay Wedding gay weddings Gay Widower Gays Over COVID gaysian Gen Z Generation Z Georgia Gert Kasteel Ghosting GLAAD GOP Gorsuch Guy Vandenberg Gym Gays Haaz Sleiman Hallmark Halloween Hate Crime Health HGVT HIV HIV prevention HIV stigma HIV treatment HIV vaccine HIV/AIDS hobbies Holi-date Holiday Film Holiday Movies Holidays Hollywood Holyoke Homophobia hooking up hookup hookup culture Hot Vax Summer House Hunters Houston Texas Houston TX Hulu Ian Jordan Indya Moore Instagay Instagram intersex Intimacy Iowa Iowa caucus isolation It's A Sin Jake Gyllenhaal James Bushe Japan Jaymes Vaughan Jayson Conner Jeffrey Newman Jennifer Tilly Jewish Jewish persecution Joe Biden Jonathan Bennett Josef Salvat Jussi-Pekka Kajaala Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg JVN Jwan Yosef Karamo Brown Kristine Stolakis Lady Gaga Lesbian lesbian couple Let It Snow LGBT LGBT Travel Guide LGBT-Free Zones LGBTQ LGBTQ Asians LGBTQ Atlanta LGBTQ Boston LGBTQ Chicago LGBTQ Dallas LGBTQ discrimination LGBTQ employees LGBTQ Family LGBTQ Film LGBTQ Film Festival LGBTQ Films LGBTQ flag LGBTQ Fort Lauderdale LGBTQ Health LGBTQ Houston LGBTQ Miami LGBTQ movies LGBTQ New York LGBTQ NYC LGBTQ Pride LGBTQ retirees LGBTQ retirement LGBTQ Rights LGBTQ Seniors LGBTQ Victory Institute LGBTQ Youth Life Lifetime Lifetime TV Network Linda Warren lockdown London LGBTIQ+ Film Festival loneliness Love Victor Luke Evans Male Nurse Malik Brown marriage equality marriage proposal Marsha P Johnson Marvel Marvin Cortes Massachusetts mature gay dating mental health Mexico Miami Miami Beach Miami Beach Pride Miami Florida Michael Cashman Michael Henry Middle-aged gay men midlife Modern Family mormon Mr. Right Muscle gays music video My Gay Match NASCAR National Coming Out Day Nationwide Conversion Therapy Ban Neil Gorsuch Netflix Netflix Special Nevada New Year's Resolution New York New York City Nonbinary North Dakota Northern Ute tribe Nurse Appreciation Week NYC NYC Events NYC Pride NYC Pride 2021 Oak Lawn Obergefell v. Hodges older gay man Omander Omar Ayuso One True Pairing online dating online dating apps online dating tips online gay dating Online trolls Open Relationship Operation Hyacinth OTP Outfest Outfest LA 2021 Outfest Los Angeles Pan-African Pride pandemic Paper Moons Pat Robertson Pennsylvania Perez Hilton personality personality type Pete Buttigieg Pink Capitalism Poland Politics polyamorous polyamorous relationship polyamorous relationships Pope Francis Pose power bottom Pray Away PrEP pride Pride 2021 Pride Afrique Pride Flag Pride Month Prince Harry profile pic Puerto Vallarta quarantine Queer eye Queer Film Queer Films Queer Holiday Movies Queer Lawmakers Queer Love Story Queer Santa Queer Youth racism Rafa Olarra Rainbow Wave Reddit Relationship relationship advice Relationship Tips relationships religion Rep. Andy Biggs Republican retirement Ricky Martin rom-com Romantic Comedy Ryan Murphy Ryan O’Connell Samaritan’s Purse same sex marriage Same Sex Relationships Same Sex Wedding Same-Sex Couples Same-Sex Kiss same-sex marriage ban Schitt’s Creek Score Miami Score Nightclub Scott Evans Scott Wiener Section 28 self isolation self-care Senior Gay Dating Senior Gay Men senior gays Senior Prom Seven Summits sex Sex Education sex life sexual identity sexual preference sexual racism sexuality short film Shy Gay Guys Single All the Way single gay man Single Gay Men Single Gays Single Young Gays social distancing social isolation social media Social Security Somerville sports Stonewall Stonewall Riots straight men Super Bowl ads Super Bowl commercials Super Bowl LIV Supreme Court Switzerland Syfy Syria Tan France Television Tennessee The Boys in the Band The Center on Colfax The Christmas Setup The Eternals The First The Thing About Harry Threesome throuple TikTok Tom Daley toxic masculinity Transgender Travel Travis Shumake Trump administration Turner Free TV series Tweets Twitter Unconditional Love United Methodist Church US economy US Supreme Court Valentine's day viral video Virginia Washington DC Web Series Wedding Workplace workplace discrimination World AIDS Day World Pride young gay men Youth YouTube