Gay Men News

Bringing the Best in LGBTQ to you

How to Go From Best Friend to Boyfriend

How to Go From Best Friend to Boyfriend image
Uncategorized
Posted by Joseph on December 20, 2014
215 views

The fine line between “boy” and “friend” is much wider than any of us think, especially in the gay community. So many gay guys are afraid of being upfront about our feelings, which gets you nowhere. Trust me.
It’s tough being considered your crush’s best friend. The role is easy to take on because you’ve probably done it all your life, but the thought of transitioning into the boyfriend category terrifies you to pieces. I’m here to tell you it isn’t as difficult as you think. Everyone wants their boyfriend to be their best friend, right? All you have to do is show him it’s possible. Here are a few ways:

Stop Talking About Other Guys In Front of Him
This includes horny cat calling when you’re both out in the gayborhoods or anywhere else. The trick is making him feel like you’re paying attention to him, and not the sexy runner in short shorts running by the café you’re sitting at. It’s all about engagement. When you engage with him, he feels like you’re doing more than just “hanging out.” You’re bonding, connecting, and enjoying each other’s company outside of the normal friend zone. Not to mention, it sends a message that you’re emotionally available. Trust me, it’ll be much harder to plant a romantic seed when he’s always catching you eyeing the guy behind him. 
Defend Him When It’s Necessary
Let’s say you’re hanging out with a group of friends and someone pokes fun at the shirt he’s wearing. A best friend would join in on the fun – it’s all harmless right? Well, if you want to take it a step further you should always come to his defense and say something like, “Aw. Stop. I think it’s cute” or pull him aside and say, “Haha. Don’t listen to these a$$holes. You look awesome.” Let him know you have his back and he’ll unconsciously begin to feel more open around you, which will welcome opportunities for intimate thoughts.
Start Asking Personal Questions
I’ve found one of the main reasons why guys considered me a best friend was because I never made an effort to enter his personal space. You should always consider his space no matter what, but there’s a fine line between being cautious and being scared. When we’re asked person questions, we tend to answer them in a personal way, so what would happen if you take a step further?
Let’s say a friend asks you “How was your weekend?” or “What are you up to today?” These are bland scenarios welcoming a generic response. If they took it up a notch with questions like, “Who were you with?” or “Did you have fun?” or “We totally should go there, what do you say?” you’re forced to respond in a personal way. Though they’re small innuendos, they’re non-obvious ways to try and inch yourself into starting a new kind of dialogue.
Don’t Tell The Entire World About It
I’ve seen countless of men heartbroken because they’ve told their network of friends how much they liked so-and-so. Doing this always makes a fool out of him. He’s going to be the one out of the loop, and secrets like this will never stay closeted for long. He’ll eventually find out from someone and he probably will feel awkward because everyone knew except him. This isn’t junior high. There’s no need to make your crush the center of everyone else’s world.
Confiding in a person about how much you adore him is enough. Make sure it’s someone you trust won’t spread it around like wildfire. You never know what will happen in the next three months. You might lose your feelings for him pretty soon and then it would have been a wasted effort. Keep it under wraps for now and never let there be an elephant in the room whenever your group of friends are together. It’s not fair for you and definitely isn’t fair for him.
Keep An Air of Mystery
I get it. You’re best friends and you share everything with each other, but now is a good time to start filtering some of it out. An interesting thing happens when there is an air of mystery. Human beings are natural problem solvers, so much of our mental cravings come from wanting to be in the “know.” This unconsciously brings us closer to whomever we’re targeting at the time. He doesn’t need to know every detail about your daily life. It’ll be much more gratifying for him when he finds out your obsession with Billy Joel, your secret spoon collection, or even the secret spot you like to drive to when you’re stressed. Keep some secrets for yourself so when you open up to him, it makes them all the more special.
Stop Playing Hard To Get
Playing hard to get looks good on paper, but only with people you aren’t as close with. Your best friend is a whole other story. Pretending you’re uninterested or trying to look unaffected by his presence will not make him come to you. It will probably get him ticked off. He’s not just some shmuck you met at a party.
Relax a bit and stop trying to play games to win his affection. You already have it. If you want to get him to see you as something more you should work at tightening the bond, not working the field. It’s a little too late for that – you know each other too well already. Upgrade your attitude and start building a new foundation on top of the one you have. Change his outlook on you without changing his opinion.
Plan One-on-One Time
A best friend hangs out with other best friends, but boyfriends go out together alone. Try and make this a new habit. Not that group outings and parties of mutual friends are bad things necessarily, but too much of them will get you both used to the relationship that currently exists. Eventually it will be hard to imagine anything deeper. Lunches, jogs, happy hours, theater, and coffee are all small gestures, but in the grand scheme of things they tend to be quite lucrative. You’d be surprised what can happen when it’s just the two of you.
Plant The Seed & Test The Waters
There are plenty of ways to drop hints without feeling awkward or invasive, and most of the time you can do them without him knowing it. Sayings things like “You look handsome today” or “I really respect what you did” or “You’re very noble” or “You’re so nice” or “You’re the eye candy tonight” or “You’re the best” allows you to see his reaction and go from there. Comments that boost his confidence will unconsciously make him more comfortable around you, not to mention they give him an idea on how you feel about him. The rest might happen naturally.
Nonchalant Touching
Eek! I know, right? Even for gay guys it can be awkward to touch each other in an intimate way. It’s much easier for women. We have a man complex about ourselves and we’re too scared to break it down. But if they can do it in Europe, why can’t we? The slightest touch sends signals all the way to our brain, so the more touching the better.
There are casual ways of touching him without making him think anything’s changed. The secret is makinghim be the one to start touching rather than you. This way, in his mind, he’ll think he’s the one initiating it. Skip the fist pump and start thinking about body contact. Hugging, playful pushing, eye contact, a harmless game of thumb war, drunk palm readings, and shoulder rubs are a lot easier to initiate than you think. Trust me on this.
Stop Procrastinating & Make an Effort
Our greatest fear is that our entire friendship will be ruined if we let the cat out of the bag. We’re left with constant paranoia. The “friendship” is always at the top of our worry. Everything is surrounding the sake of the relationship, but never should you let this fuel your decision to at least see if it’s possible.
My philosophy is you’ll never know until you try. The only feeling worse than the loss of a friend is the regret of never having tried at all. Start planning outings together – wine & TV marathons, weekly happy hour traditions, or coffee shop meet ups. Find something that works and make it “your time.” Start the transition sooner rather than later, trust me, you don’t want to lose precious time living inside your head.
Have Balls When An Opportunity Finally Arrives
Don’t lose your confidence when the time comes to tell him the truth. If he starts to realize your attraction and welcomes it, don’t crawl back into your shell. I know how easy it is. The world inside our imagination is much more comfortable than real life. When everything happens exactly how we pictured it, we have the potential of losing our cool and wanting to run away.
If he ends up asking you if you like him, don’t try and pretend like you don’t. If there’s an opportunity for you to kiss, though it might feel weird at first, don’t be ashamed in at least trying. Whenever he smiles at you in an obviously romantic way, never ignore it. The last thing you want him to think is that you’ve been leading him on. You want him to feel attached to you, so give it back to him when it’s received and be ecstatic that it finally happened.




Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?
Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!
Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!
Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

Tags: #BigBankChallenge #BohemianKissChallenge #EqualityActJapan #StopAsianHate 12 Dates of Christmas 2020 Olympics Aaron Schock Adam Castillejo Adam Rippon addiction ageism Aging AhTave AIDS Aime Wichtendal Alaska Alex Morse Almost Love America's Next Top Model American Medical Association Amy Coney Barrett Annise Parker Antes Que El Mundo Se Acabe Anti-Asian Violence Anti-LGBTQ ANTM anxiety Aptima HIV-1 Arizona Armie Hammer astrology At-home date Atlanta Atlanta Black Pride Atlanta GA Atlanta Nightlife Atlanta Pride Atlanta Pride Run Atlanta’s Queer History Bicycle Tour Austin Swink Austin Texas Austin TX Backpacks for the Street Basel Abou Hamrah BFI Flare Bisexual BLACK GAY MEN Black LGBTQ Atlanta Black Lives Matter Black Love Bohemian Rhapsody Boston Boston MA Boston Nightlife Brian Sims Broadway bully Bullying California Call Me By Your Name Canada Capital Pride Capitalism Cason Crane Celebrity News censorship Chemistry Chemsex Chicago Chicago IL Chris Evans Christian proselytizing Christianity Christmas Christmas commercial Christmas movie Christmas Movies Chucky Circus of Books civil unions Cody McCook Colorado Comedy coming out commentary compatibility Confidence Congress conspiracy theory Conversion therapy CoronaVirus Court Vox COVID COVID-19 Covid-19 vaccine Cubbyhole NYC daddy Dallas Dallas Gay Bars Dallas Gayborhood Dallas Texas Danica Roem Daniel Harding Daniel Howell Date night dating dating advice Dating Apps Dating Red Flags dating rut dating tips DC Pride Dead to Me Denver Depression discrimination Disney Documentary Dolf Pasker Dolly Parton Domestic Violence Donald Trump Donna Price Drag Race drag racing Dustin Lance Black election Election 2020 Election Day Elite Employment Entertainment Entertainment news epidemic Fabio Fasoli Family family gatherings Film Finding True Love First Date First Date Etiquette first date ideas first date tips Flirting Tips Flirty Dancing Florida Fort Lauderdale Franklin Graham Freddie Mercury Garrett Clayton gay gay asian gay asian men Gay Atlanta Gay Austin Gay Bars NYC Gay beaches Gay Boston Gay Boston Nightlife Gay Chicago Gay Christmas Gay Couple Gay Couples Gay Culture Gay Dallas Gay Dallas Nightlife gay dating gay dating advice gay dating app gay dating apps Gay Dating Red Flags Gay Dating Solutions Gay Dating Tips Gay DC gay discrimination gay film Gay Florida Gay Fort Lauderdale Gay Health Gay Holiday Movie Gay Houston gay kiss Gay Love Advice gay marriage gay marriage proposal gay men Gay Miami gay midlife Gay Mountaineer Gay Movies Gay New York Gay nightlife Gay Nurse Gay NYC Gay Panic Gay Pride gay relationship advice gay relationship tips gay relationships Gay Santa Gay Scene gay seniors gay sex gay singles Gay Soldier Gay Travel Gay Twitter Gay Washington DC Gay Wedding gay weddings Gay Widower Gays Over COVID gaysian Gen Z Generation Z Georgia Gert Kasteel Ghosting GLAAD GOP Gorsuch Greater Houston LGBTQ Chamber of Commerce grindr Guy Vandenberg Gym Gays Haaz Sleiman Hallmark Halloween Hate Crime HBO Max Health HGVT HIV HIV prevention HIV stigma HIV treatment HIV vaccine HIV/AIDS hobbies Holi-date Holiday Film Holiday Movies Holidays Hollywood Holyoke Homophobia hooking up hookup hookup culture Hot Vax Summer House Hunters Houston Houston Texas Houston TX Hulu Ian Jordan Indya Moore Instagay Instagram intersex Intimacy Intimacy coach Iowa Iowa caucus isolation It's A Sin Jake Gyllenhaal James Bushe Japan Jaymes Vaughan Jayson Conner Jeffrey Newman Jennifer Tilly Jewish Jewish persecution Joe Biden Jonathan Bennett Josef Salvat Jussi-Pekka Kajaala Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg JVN Jwan Yosef Karamo Brown Kristine Stolakis Lady Gaga Lesbian lesbian couple Let It Snow LGBT LGBT Austin LGBT Travel Guide LGBT-Free Zones LGBTQ LGBTQ Asians LGBTQ Atlanta LGBTQ Austin LGBTQ Boston LGBTQ Chicago LGBTQ Dallas LGBTQ DC LGBTQ discrimination LGBTQ employees LGBTQ Family LGBTQ Film LGBTQ Film Festival LGBTQ Films LGBTQ flag LGBTQ Fort Lauderdale LGBTQ Health LGBTQ History LGBTQ Houston LGBTQ Miami LGBTQ movies LGBTQ New York LGBTQ nightlife LGBTQ NYC LGBTQ Pride LGBTQ retirees LGBTQ retirement LGBTQ Rights LGBTQ Seniors LGBTQ Victory Institute LGBTQ Youth Life Lifetime Lifetime TV Network Linda Warren lockdown London LGBTIQ+ Film Festival loneliness Love Victor Love Wins Luke Evans Male Nurse Malik Brown marriage equality marriage proposal Marsha P Johnson Marvel Marvin Cortes Massachusetts mature gay dating mental health Mexico Miami Miami Beach Miami Beach Pride Miami Florida Miami nightlife Michael Cashman Michael Henry Middle-aged gay men midlife Modern Family mormon Mr. Right Muscle gays music video My Gay Match NASCAR National Coming Out Day Nationwide Conversion Therapy Ban Neil Gorsuch Netflix Netflix Special Nevada New Year's Resolution New York New York City Nonbinary North Dakota Northern Ute tribe Norway Nurse Appreciation Week NYC NYC Events NYC Pride NYC Pride 2021 Oak Lawn Obergefell v. Hodges older gay man Omander Omar Ayuso One True Pairing online dating online dating apps online dating tips online gay dating Online trolls Open Relationship Operation Hyacinth OTP Outfest Outfest LA 2021 Outfest Los Angeles Pan-African Pride pandemic Paper Moons Pat Robertson Pennsylvania Perez Hilton personality Personality Matching personality type Pete Buttigieg Pink Capitalism Poland Politics polyamorous polyamorous relationship polyamorous relationships Pope Francis Pose power bottom Pray Away PrEP pride Pride 2021 Pride Afrique Pride Flag Pride Month Prince Harry profile pic Puerto Vallarta quarantine Queer eye Queer Film Queer Films Queer Holiday Movies Queer Lawmakers Queer Love Story Queer Santa Queer Youth racism Rafa Olarra Rainbow Wave red flags Reddit Relationship relationship advice Relationship Tips relationships religion Rep. Andy Biggs Republican retirement Ricky Martin rom-com Romantic Comedy Ryan Murphy Ryan O’Connell Samaritan’s Purse same sex marriage Same Sex Relationships Same Sex Wedding Same-Sex Couples Same-Sex Kiss same-sex marriage same-sex marriage ban Santa Claus Schitt’s Creek Score Miami Score Nightclub Scott Evans Scott Wiener Section 28 self isolation self-care Senior Gay Dating Senior Gay Men senior gays Senior Prom Seven Summits sex Sex and Intimacy Sex Education sex life sexual identity sexual preference sexual racism sexuality short film Shy Gay Guys Single All the Way single gay man Single Gay Men Single Gays Single Young Gays social distancing social isolation social media Social Security Somerville South Florida sports Stonewall Stonewall Riots straight men Super Bowl ads Super Bowl commercials Super Bowl LIV Supreme Court Switzerland Syfy Syria Tan France Television Tennessee The Boys in the Band The Center on Colfax The Christmas Setup The Eternals The First The Thing About Harry Threesome throuple TikTok Tom Daley toxic gay relationship toxic masculinity toxic relationships Transgender Travel Travis Shumake true love Trump administration Turner Free TV series Tweets Twitter Unconditional Love United Methodist Church US economy US Supreme Court Valentine's day viral news viral video Virginia Washington DC Web Series Wedding When Harry met Santa Workplace workplace discrimination World AIDS Day World Pride Young Gay Guys young gay men Youth YouTube

Leave a reply

Related articles
image for Fox News VP Slams Olympics Team for ‘Darker, Gayer, Different’ Agenda
Fox News VP Slams Olympics Team for ‘Darker, Gayer, Different’ Agenda

And people are not happy Fox News executive vice president John Moody has slammed the US Olympics team for being ‘darker, gayer, different’. The executive editor at the conservative news channel has slammed the organizing committee for making the team more diverse. Reactions have slammed Moody for racism and homophobia.…

More
image for Download Gay Dating Solutions’ New Mobile Apps
Download Gay Dating Solutions’ New Mobile Apps

Without a doubt, gay dating in 2018 is an art form. If you’re a single gay man and looking for love, you know where the gay dating scene is. It’s online. But whether you’ve met 100 online dates or zero, it’s a tricky little business. There’s such a grand variety…

More
image for Single and Over 50: Is Online Gay Dating For You?
Single and Over 50: Is Online Gay Dating For You?

Are you over 50 and thinking about trying online gay dating? For those looking to start dating again over the age of 50 it can be a daunting prospect, especially if you’re a gay man. Separations from long-term relationships and the loss of loved ones can leave us feeling unsure…

More
image for What is The Best Gay Dating App for You?
What is The Best Gay Dating App for You?

There is no shortage of gay men to message and potentially meet up with online, as thousands of gay guys are hopping on and off different dating apps all the time. But what is the best gay dating app for you? At Gay Dating Solutions we pride ourselves on finding…

More
image for We Now Have Mobile Apps So You Can Use Gay Dating Solutions On The Go!
We Now Have Mobile Apps So You Can Use Gay Dating Solutions On The Go!

Love month is upon us!! Does your hectic work schedule prevent you from dating, but you still want to find your soul mate? Keep your love matches on the go and at your fingertips with Gay Dating Solutions‘ NEW mobile apps! Download today & feel free to share with your gay friends: http://appurl.io/jd0jaqp0 📱

More