Gay Men News

Bringing the Best in LGBTQ to you

It’s Over! ― 10 Breakup Survival Tips to Get You Through It

It’s Over! ― 10 Breakup Survival Tips to Get You Through It image
Posted by Joseph on July 28, 2015

Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? Lost love is never an easy thing to get over. So much energy spent investing in him, daydreaming about the future, smiling for no reason makes it’s hard to face the fact it was all wasted time. But the truth of the matter is it was never wasted. Whether you think so or not, loss creates a foundation that makes us stronger and wiser.
I’ve lost love, and it was one of the most difficult things I’ve gone through – surprisingly difficult. What shocked me the most was how it affected all aspects of my life, even the way I spoke. It wiped me out like a tornado scattering pieces of my heart to the ground, and all I could do was try and find them, try to recognize myself in the mirror again. It’s easier said than done, but the only way to do it is to take baby steps by replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. Here’s how I did it:

#1) Remind yourself it’s their loss.

Just because you weren’t the one to end it doesn’t mean it’s your loss, though it’s easy to go there. Stop focusing on what you’re missing and realize that they made a mistake. It’s not your fault he couldn’t see a good thing when you were standing there offering him love. At the end of the day it has nothing to do with who’s better or not, and everything to do with the goodness he was stupid enough to reject. He’s the one that lost. Regain your value.

#2) Play it cool.

It’s easy to obsess over him as soon as he’s gone, but every time you feel like stalking him on Facebook, texting him, or finding out ways to be at the same place at the same time, take a step back and play it cool. It will get easier each day the more you remind yourself how valuable you are. You don’t need him to make you feel special because you already are special. There’s no reason to “check in” with him to be sure he hasn’t forgotten about you. Trust me, it’s okay. You cannot do these things when you’re emotionally vulnerable because you’ll always end up doing stupid things you’ll regret later. Play it cool.

#3) Don’t look at it as rejection.

Rejection is such an awful word because it makes you feel like a piece of trash – you were dumped, discarded, rejected. While it may hurt that he doesn’t feel the same way you do, in no way is it rejection. When the chemistry or compatibility isn’t there, you’ll be playing a meaningless game anyway. It’s not your fault! He didn’t reject you. He probably wasn’t ready for what you had to offer, and there’s nothing you can do about that. It takes two to create love.

#4) You can be sad, but don’t pity yourself.

You’re always going to have moments of weakness and sadness, times where tears will stream down your cheeks and you don’t know why. But it’s important to not let sadness turn into pity. You cannot dwell on it, otherwise you will fall into a habit of feeling sorry for yourself, which will unconsciously push the world away from you when right now you need to bring it closer.

#5) Gain some perspective.

There are worse things in the world. If you feel sorry for yourself, turn on the news, go to the ICU of a hospital, or visit any kind of trauma unit. People are dying, losing their parents, living in areas where war is constant, starving and going without water for weeks. At least in your situation, you are able to snap out of it. Not everyone can be so lucky. Gain some much-needed perspective on the situation and change your tune.

#6) Stop talking about him to people.

The more you bring him up in conversation, the longer you will keep his spirit alive. Tell your friends not to bring him up – those who’ve also experienced a broken heart will know how important it is to do this. But the real test is up to you. Unplug him from your mind so you can start the process of detoxing the feelings away. Stop talking about it – words are powerful.

#7) Throw yourself back into friends and work.

Distraction is important during this time, especially when you find yourself getting buried with grief and sadness. You need to replace the negativity with more positive inflow, and eventually the good will replace the bad. It might take a while but you’ll soon start to recognize your old self again; and when you do, trust me, you’ll be much stronger.

#8) Be happy because you know you’re capable of loving someone else.

Be grateful in knowing that your heart is capable for loving another human being. Years ago you probably were questioning yourself, but now you know different. It doesn’t matter if it didn’t work out. There are plenty of other guys who can offer the same things he can but in multitudes of ways. Be happy you know what love feels like so that you’ll recognize it when it appears again.

#9) Stop daydreaming that it’s going to work out eventually.

None of us know what will happen to us, but that’s never an excuse to hold onto past dreams. Our future changes each and every day based on the information/decisions we make presently – the present information you have is that he isn’t interested in starting anything serious, so why plan your future around that? You cannot hang on to it. You must live your life without clenching too hard on ideas that most likely won’t happen.

#10) The future is unwritten.

Your future is unwritten, which means it’s up to you to plan. There are endless possibilities waiting for you, but you never will if you dwell on disappointments and pity parties. Lift your head. Open your eyes. Your future is bright and it’s time to welcome happiness again. Start your day with positive messages and deliver enthusiasm to everyone. Leave the past beneath the ground and rise to meet the sun.

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!

Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!
Like us on Facebook:

Tags: #BigBankChallenge #BohemianKissChallenge #EqualityActJapan #StopAsianHate 12 Dates of Christmas 2020 Olympics Aaron Schock Adam Castillejo Adam Rippon addiction ageism Aging AhTave AIDS Aime Wichtendal Alaska Alex Morse Almost Love America's Next Top Model American Medical Association Amy Coney Barrett Annise Parker Antes Que El Mundo Se Acabe Anti-Asian Violence Anti-LGBTQ ANTM anxiety Aptima HIV-1 Arizona Armie Hammer astrology At-home date Atlanta Atlanta Black Pride Atlanta GA Atlanta Nightlife Atlanta Pride Atlanta Pride Run Atlanta’s Queer History Bicycle Tour Austin Swink Austin Texas Austin TX Backpacks for the Street Basel Abou Hamrah BFI Flare Bisexual BLACK GAY MEN Black LGBTQ Atlanta Black Lives Matter Black Love Bohemian Rhapsody Boston Boston MA Boston Nightlife Brian Sims Broadway bully Bullying California Call Me By Your Name Canada Capital Pride Capitalism Cason Crane Celebrity News censorship Chemistry Chemsex Chicago Chicago IL Chris Evans Christian proselytizing Christianity Christmas Christmas commercial Christmas movie Christmas Movies Chucky Circus of Books civil unions Cody McCook Colorado Comedy coming out commentary compatibility Confidence Congress conspiracy theory Conversion therapy CoronaVirus Court Vox COVID COVID-19 Covid-19 vaccine Cubbyhole NYC daddy Dallas Dallas Gay Bars Dallas Gayborhood Dallas Texas Danica Roem Daniel Harding Daniel Howell Date night dating dating advice Dating Apps Dating Red Flags dating rut dating tips DC Pride Dead to Me Denver Depression discrimination Disney Documentary Dolf Pasker Dolly Parton Domestic Violence Donald Trump Donna Price Drag Race drag racing Dustin Lance Black election Election 2020 Election Day Elite Employment Entertainment Entertainment news epidemic Fabio Fasoli Family family gatherings Film Finding True Love First Date First Date Etiquette first date ideas first date tips Flirting Tips Flirty Dancing Florida Fort Lauderdale Franklin Graham Freddie Mercury Garrett Clayton gay gay asian gay asian men Gay Atlanta Gay Austin Gay Bars NYC Gay beaches Gay Boston Gay Boston Nightlife Gay Chicago Gay Christmas Gay Couple Gay Couples Gay Culture Gay Dallas Gay Dallas Nightlife gay dating gay dating advice gay dating app gay dating apps Gay Dating Red Flags Gay Dating Solutions Gay Dating Tips Gay DC gay discrimination gay film Gay Florida Gay Fort Lauderdale Gay Health Gay Holiday Movie Gay Houston gay kiss Gay Love Advice gay marriage gay marriage proposal gay men Gay Miami gay midlife Gay Mountaineer Gay Movies Gay New York Gay nightlife Gay Nurse Gay NYC Gay Panic Gay Pride gay relationship advice gay relationship tips gay relationships Gay Santa Gay Scene gay seniors gay sex gay singles Gay Soldier Gay Travel Gay Twitter Gay Washington DC Gay Wedding gay weddings Gay Widower Gays Over COVID gaysian Gen Z Generation Z Georgia Gert Kasteel Ghosting GLAAD GOP Gorsuch Greater Houston LGBTQ Chamber of Commerce grindr Guy Vandenberg Gym Gays Haaz Sleiman Hallmark Halloween Hate Crime HBO Max Health HGVT HIV HIV prevention HIV stigma HIV treatment HIV vaccine HIV/AIDS hobbies Holi-date Holiday Film Holiday Movies Holidays Hollywood Holyoke Homophobia hooking up hookup hookup culture Hot Vax Summer House Hunters Houston Houston Texas Houston TX Hulu Ian Jordan Indya Moore Instagay Instagram intersex Intimacy Intimacy coach Iowa Iowa caucus isolation It's A Sin Jake Gyllenhaal James Bushe Japan Jaymes Vaughan Jayson Conner Jeffrey Newman Jennifer Tilly Jewish Jewish persecution Joe Biden Jonathan Bennett Josef Salvat Jussi-Pekka Kajaala Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg JVN Jwan Yosef Karamo Brown Kristine Stolakis Lady Gaga Lesbian lesbian couple Let It Snow LGBT LGBT Austin LGBT Travel Guide LGBT-Free Zones LGBTQ LGBTQ Asians LGBTQ Atlanta LGBTQ Austin LGBTQ Boston LGBTQ Chicago LGBTQ Dallas LGBTQ DC LGBTQ discrimination LGBTQ employees LGBTQ Family LGBTQ Film LGBTQ Film Festival LGBTQ Films LGBTQ flag LGBTQ Fort Lauderdale LGBTQ Health LGBTQ History LGBTQ Houston LGBTQ Miami LGBTQ movies LGBTQ New York LGBTQ nightlife LGBTQ NYC LGBTQ Pride LGBTQ retirees LGBTQ retirement LGBTQ Rights LGBTQ Seniors LGBTQ Victory Institute LGBTQ Youth Life Lifetime Lifetime TV Network Linda Warren lockdown London LGBTIQ+ Film Festival loneliness Love Victor Love Wins Luke Evans Male Nurse Malik Brown marriage equality marriage proposal Marsha P Johnson Marvel Marvin Cortes Massachusetts mature gay dating mental health Mexico Miami Miami Beach Miami Beach Pride Miami Florida Miami nightlife Michael Cashman Michael Henry Middle-aged gay men midlife Modern Family mormon Mr. Right Muscle gays music video My Gay Match NASCAR National Coming Out Day Nationwide Conversion Therapy Ban Neil Gorsuch Netflix Netflix Special Nevada New Year's Resolution New York New York City Nonbinary North Dakota Northern Ute tribe Norway Nurse Appreciation Week NYC NYC Events NYC Pride NYC Pride 2021 Oak Lawn Obergefell v. Hodges older gay man Omander Omar Ayuso One True Pairing online dating online dating apps online dating tips online gay dating Online trolls Open Relationship Operation Hyacinth OTP Outfest Outfest LA 2021 Outfest Los Angeles Pan-African Pride pandemic Paper Moons Pat Robertson Pennsylvania Perez Hilton personality Personality Matching personality type Pete Buttigieg Pink Capitalism Poland Politics polyamorous polyamorous relationship polyamorous relationships Pope Francis Pose power bottom Pray Away PrEP pride Pride 2021 Pride Afrique Pride Flag Pride Month Prince Harry profile pic Puerto Vallarta quarantine Queer eye Queer Film Queer Films Queer Holiday Movies Queer Lawmakers Queer Love Story Queer Santa Queer Youth racism Rafa Olarra Rainbow Wave red flags Reddit Relationship relationship advice Relationship Tips relationships religion Rep. Andy Biggs Republican retirement Ricky Martin rom-com Romantic Comedy Ryan Murphy Ryan O’Connell Samaritan’s Purse same sex marriage Same Sex Relationships Same Sex Wedding Same-Sex Couples Same-Sex Kiss same-sex marriage same-sex marriage ban Santa Claus Schitt’s Creek Score Miami Score Nightclub Scott Evans Scott Wiener Section 28 self isolation self-care Senior Gay Dating Senior Gay Men senior gays Senior Prom Seven Summits sex Sex and Intimacy Sex Education sex life sexual identity sexual preference sexual racism sexuality short film Shy Gay Guys Single All the Way single gay man Single Gay Men Single Gays Single Young Gays social distancing social isolation social media Social Security Somerville South Florida sports Stonewall Stonewall Riots straight men Super Bowl ads Super Bowl commercials Super Bowl LIV Supreme Court Switzerland Syfy Syria Tan France Television Tennessee The Boys in the Band The Center on Colfax The Christmas Setup The Eternals The First The Thing About Harry Threesome throuple TikTok Tom Daley toxic gay relationship toxic masculinity toxic relationships Transgender Travel Travis Shumake true love Trump administration Turner Free TV series Tweets Twitter Unconditional Love United Methodist Church US economy US Supreme Court Valentine's day viral news viral video Virginia Washington DC Web Series Wedding When Harry met Santa Workplace workplace discrimination World AIDS Day World Pride Young Gay Guys young gay men Youth YouTube

Leave a reply

Related articles
image for Fox News VP Slams Olympics Team for ‘Darker, Gayer, Different’ Agenda
Fox News VP Slams Olympics Team for ‘Darker, Gayer, Different’ Agenda

And people are not happy Fox News executive vice president John Moody has slammed the US Olympics team for being ‘darker, gayer, different’. The executive editor at the conservative news channel has slammed the organizing committee for making the team more diverse. Reactions have slammed Moody for racism and homophobia.…

image for Download Gay Dating Solutions’ New Mobile Apps
Download Gay Dating Solutions’ New Mobile Apps

Without a doubt, gay dating in 2018 is an art form. If you’re a single gay man and looking for love, you know where the gay dating scene is. It’s online. But whether you’ve met 100 online dates or zero, it’s a tricky little business. There’s such a grand variety…

image for Single and Over 50: Is Online Gay Dating For You?
Single and Over 50: Is Online Gay Dating For You?

Are you over 50 and thinking about trying online gay dating? For those looking to start dating again over the age of 50 it can be a daunting prospect, especially if you’re a gay man. Separations from long-term relationships and the loss of loved ones can leave us feeling unsure…

image for What is The Best Gay Dating App for You?
What is The Best Gay Dating App for You?

There is no shortage of gay men to message and potentially meet up with online, as thousands of gay guys are hopping on and off different dating apps all the time. But what is the best gay dating app for you? At Gay Dating Solutions we pride ourselves on finding…

image for We Now Have Mobile Apps So You Can Use Gay Dating Solutions On The Go!
We Now Have Mobile Apps So You Can Use Gay Dating Solutions On The Go!

Love month is upon us!! Does your hectic work schedule prevent you from dating, but you still want to find your soul mate? Keep your love matches on the go and at your fingertips with Gay Dating Solutions‘ NEW mobile apps! Download today & feel free to share with your gay friends: 📱