Gay Men News

Bringing the Best in LGBTQ to you

LGBTQ and Out on Social Media — but Nowhere Else

LGBTQ and Out on Social Media — but Nowhere Else image
Gay Dating Solutions LGBTQ News
Posted by Joseph on March 21, 2018
298 views

For some LGBTQ people, social media offers a space where they can be out and proud, even if they’re not out offline.

 

The first queer space on the Internet had a similar evolution to most webpages. It began in 1983 as a virtual bulletin board on the early Usenet system, where users could post items to “newsgroups” for discussion. Net.motss (motss stands for “members of the same sex”) was a prototypical LGBTQ digital destination where positive messages were shared and where the international users behind their computers could engage with other LGBTQ people without fear of being outed.

It was 27 years later in 2010 that Anthony first logged into Oh No They Didn’t! (ONTD), a LiveJournal community with a pop culture bent. Anthony was 20 years old, from a “close-knit Italian family,” an ardent Mariah Carey fan and living in the closet at his conservative business university. ONTD became his queer haven during the most difficult years of his life.

 

“My father passed away that year after a decade-long battle with cancer, and that’s around the time when I first admitted to myself that I was gay,” Anthony, who did not share his last name to protect his privacy, told NBC News. “I think the combination of my grief due to my father’s passing and confusion about my sexuality led me to seek an outlet in the form of social media.”

“ONTD and Twitter were initially just outlets for my fascination with pop culture, but I quickly discovered that much of the community was LGBTQ,” he continued. “It was much easier to share details about myself and my sexuality when there was that common ground.”

 

Behind an avatar of his pop goddess Mariah, Anthony freely shared his private life with the queer members of the forum. He was anonymous, he said, but he was free.

It is a sentiment many LGBTQ people who responded to an open request for comment echoed. The online spaces that tend to attract LGBTQ users appear to be Twitter, Tumblr and forums where individuals can curate their community, and where real names and profile photos aren’t required.

“I’m not out on Facebook, because I would rather … [not] deal with all the informed commentary from people I know in real life saying things like, ‘We always knew’ or ‘You’re going to hell,'” said one responder who goes by Apollo. “It’s really things like Twitter threads and Tumblr that connected me to people and helped me understand the history of the LGBTQ community.”

“Without them, I’d probably still be wandering through life thinking ‘gay’ is something to be inherently feared and disliked,” he continued.

A Twitter user who asked to be referred to as Beverly seconded Apollo on the subject of Facebook.

“My Facebook page is, if you will, asexual,” she said, adding that she’s openly bisexual on Twitter but has not come out to her family yet. “I get to be my truest self on here and with my friends, and that’s what matters the most to me.”

 

Some social media users responded saying they are still closeted both on and offline, but social media offers them the opportunity to see other people be out and proud. They said they draw courage from that.

“My story isn’t a coming-out story per se,” said a Twitter user who goes by Hamel. “But it was sure as hell part of what helped me realize I’m gender-nonconforming (GNC)! Seeing openly GNC people and learning even just tidbits of information about gender and identity went a long way towards helping me understand myself.”

“I’m so gay on social media,” said another Twitter user. “But I never came out to my family. What’s weird is my family probably knows, because I’m so outspoken online, but I’ve never addressed it in person.”

Cesar, a OneDirection fan in Mexico, echoed Anthony’s story of coming out to an online fandom community. “When I was 16, I was a Directioner (a OneDirection fan), so I talked to a number of other Directioner boys in Mexico, and we were all queer and in the closet, and our conversations were via Twitter,” he said. “As I had deeper conversations with them, we started to come out to each other. It was easier to come out to each other on Twitter than it as to come out with our friends. This is my safe space to express my queerness.”

Millie, another responder, said she realized she was bisexual because of her Twitter crushes on girls. “I spent most of my school years at an all-girls school where if someone thought you were into girls, you were ostracized,” she said. “Without social media, I’d probably still think I was straight.”

Indeed, for some LGBTQ people, they were not even aware their identity existed until they encountered it online, buried like treasure in threads and discussions and private messages. “I learned FtM (female-to-male) transition was possible because of a woman I met on a chat board,” said one anonymous Twitter user. “How would I have known otherwise?”

But while the Internet offers anonymity, which so many LGBTQ people take advantage of to interact in secret every day, it can also create a permanent record and become tangible “evidence,” which some responders said led to their outing.

“My mom found a webpage where I discussed my sexual orientation,” said one responder. “I was basically outed to her and then my whole family because I was on this space online.”

 

For others, coming out is a special moment, one that is meant to be shared with close friends and family before online acquaintances.

“The very last thing I thought of was to share my sexuality online,” Patrick Gothman, an openly gay man who creates YouTube videos discussing his sexual orientation and his Christian faith told NBC News. “I was nervous that telling strangers would leave a sour taste in my parents’ mouths.”

“But I’m totally supportive of making better safe spaces online for people who don’t feel comfortable,” he added.

As technology continues to evolve, queer digital spaces do, too. Anthony, for example, has since moved on from ONTD, but is now part of a thriving online community of LGBTQ people, some of whom are out to their family, and some of whom are not.

“To my knowledge, there has never been a gay person besides me in my family,” Anthony said, who still worships Mariah Carey, her smiling face his Twitter cover photo, greeting all those who visit. “I was fortunate to have found a group of people who could understand the confusion I was feeling about coming out.”

 

Read more at: NBC Out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?
Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city.
Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!
 
Don’t get fooled by free offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a FREE 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!
 
Download our mobile apps: https://appurl.io/jd0jaqp0
Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

Tags: #BigBankChallenge #BohemianKissChallenge #EqualityActJapan #StopAsianHate 12 Dates of Christmas 2020 Olympics Aaron Schock Adam Castillejo Adam Rippon addiction ageism Aging AhTave AIDS Aime Wichtendal Alaska Alex Morse Almost Love America's Next Top Model American Medical Association Amy Coney Barrett Annise Parker Antes Que El Mundo Se Acabe Anti-Asian Violence Anti-LGBTQ ANTM anxiety Aptima HIV-1 Arizona Armie Hammer astrology At-home date Atlanta Atlanta Black Pride Atlanta GA Atlanta Nightlife Atlanta Pride Atlanta Pride Run Atlanta’s Queer History Bicycle Tour Austin Swink Austin Texas Austin TX Backpacks for the Street Basel Abou Hamrah BFI Flare Bisexual BLACK GAY MEN Black LGBTQ Atlanta Black Lives Matter Black Love Bohemian Rhapsody Boston Boston MA Boston Nightlife Brian Sims Broadway bully Bullying California Call Me By Your Name Canada Capital Pride Capitalism Cason Crane Celebrity News censorship Chemistry Chemsex Chicago Chicago IL Chris Evans Christian proselytizing Christianity Christmas Christmas commercial Christmas movie Christmas Movies Chucky Circus of Books civil unions Cody McCook Colorado Comedy coming out commentary compatibility Confidence Congress conspiracy theory Conversion therapy CoronaVirus Court Vox COVID COVID-19 Covid-19 vaccine Cubbyhole NYC daddy Dallas Dallas Gay Bars Dallas Gayborhood Dallas Texas Danica Roem Daniel Harding Daniel Howell Date night dating dating advice Dating Apps Dating Red Flags dating rut dating tips DC Pride Dead to Me Denver Depression discrimination Disney Documentary Dolf Pasker Dolly Parton Domestic Violence Donald Trump Donna Price Drag Race drag racing Dustin Lance Black election Election 2020 Election Day Elite Employment Entertainment Entertainment news epidemic Fabio Fasoli Family family gatherings Film Finding True Love First Date First Date Etiquette first date ideas first date tips Flirting Tips Flirty Dancing Florida Fort Lauderdale Franklin Graham Freddie Mercury Garrett Clayton gay gay asian gay asian men Gay Atlanta Gay Austin Gay Bars NYC Gay beaches Gay Boston Gay Boston Nightlife Gay Chicago Gay Christmas Gay Couple Gay Couples Gay Culture Gay Dallas Gay Dallas Nightlife gay dating gay dating advice gay dating app gay dating apps Gay Dating Red Flags Gay Dating Solutions Gay Dating Tips Gay DC gay discrimination gay film Gay Florida Gay Fort Lauderdale Gay Health Gay Holiday Movie Gay Houston gay kiss Gay Love Advice gay marriage gay marriage proposal gay men Gay Miami gay midlife Gay Mountaineer Gay Movies Gay New York Gay nightlife Gay Nurse Gay NYC Gay Panic Gay Pride gay relationship advice gay relationship tips gay relationships Gay Santa Gay Scene gay seniors gay sex gay singles Gay Soldier Gay Travel Gay Twitter Gay Washington DC Gay Wedding gay weddings Gay Widower Gays Over COVID gaysian Gen Z Generation Z Georgia Gert Kasteel Ghosting GLAAD GOP Gorsuch Greater Houston LGBTQ Chamber of Commerce grindr Guy Vandenberg Gym Gays Haaz Sleiman Hallmark Halloween Hate Crime HBO Max Health HGVT HIV HIV prevention HIV stigma HIV treatment HIV vaccine HIV/AIDS hobbies Holi-date Holiday Film Holiday Movies Holidays Hollywood Holyoke Homophobia hooking up hookup hookup culture Hot Vax Summer House Hunters Houston Houston Texas Houston TX Hulu Ian Jordan Indya Moore Instagay Instagram intersex Intimacy Intimacy coach Iowa Iowa caucus isolation It's A Sin Jake Gyllenhaal James Bushe Japan Jaymes Vaughan Jayson Conner Jeffrey Newman Jennifer Tilly Jewish Jewish persecution Joe Biden Jonathan Bennett Josef Salvat Jussi-Pekka Kajaala Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg JVN Jwan Yosef Karamo Brown Kristine Stolakis Lady Gaga Lesbian lesbian couple Let It Snow LGBT LGBT Austin LGBT Travel Guide LGBT-Free Zones LGBTQ LGBTQ Asians LGBTQ Atlanta LGBTQ Austin LGBTQ Boston LGBTQ Chicago LGBTQ Dallas LGBTQ DC LGBTQ discrimination LGBTQ employees LGBTQ Family LGBTQ Film LGBTQ Film Festival LGBTQ Films LGBTQ flag LGBTQ Fort Lauderdale LGBTQ Health LGBTQ History LGBTQ Houston LGBTQ Miami LGBTQ movies LGBTQ New York LGBTQ nightlife LGBTQ NYC LGBTQ Pride LGBTQ retirees LGBTQ retirement LGBTQ Rights LGBTQ Seniors LGBTQ Victory Institute LGBTQ Youth Life Lifetime Lifetime TV Network Linda Warren lockdown London LGBTIQ+ Film Festival loneliness Love Victor Love Wins Luke Evans Male Nurse Malik Brown marriage equality marriage proposal Marsha P Johnson Marvel Marvin Cortes Massachusetts mature gay dating mental health Mexico Miami Miami Beach Miami Beach Pride Miami Florida Miami nightlife Michael Cashman Michael Henry Middle-aged gay men midlife Modern Family mormon Mr. Right Muscle gays music video My Gay Match NASCAR National Coming Out Day Nationwide Conversion Therapy Ban Neil Gorsuch Netflix Netflix Special Nevada New Year's Resolution New York New York City Nonbinary North Dakota Northern Ute tribe Norway Nurse Appreciation Week NYC NYC Events NYC Pride NYC Pride 2021 Oak Lawn Obergefell v. Hodges older gay man Omander Omar Ayuso One True Pairing online dating online dating apps online dating tips online gay dating Online trolls Open Relationship Operation Hyacinth OTP Outfest Outfest LA 2021 Outfest Los Angeles Pan-African Pride pandemic Paper Moons Pat Robertson Pennsylvania Perez Hilton personality Personality Matching personality type Pete Buttigieg Pink Capitalism Poland Politics polyamorous polyamorous relationship polyamorous relationships Pope Francis Pose power bottom Pray Away PrEP pride Pride 2021 Pride Afrique Pride Flag Pride Month Prince Harry profile pic Puerto Vallarta quarantine Queer eye Queer Film Queer Films Queer Holiday Movies Queer Lawmakers Queer Love Story Queer Santa Queer Youth racism Rafa Olarra Rainbow Wave red flags Reddit Relationship relationship advice Relationship Tips relationships religion Rep. Andy Biggs Republican retirement Ricky Martin rom-com Romantic Comedy Ryan Murphy Ryan O’Connell Samaritan’s Purse same sex marriage Same Sex Relationships Same Sex Wedding Same-Sex Couples Same-Sex Kiss same-sex marriage same-sex marriage ban Santa Claus Schitt’s Creek Score Miami Score Nightclub Scott Evans Scott Wiener Section 28 self isolation self-care Senior Gay Dating Senior Gay Men senior gays Senior Prom Seven Summits sex Sex and Intimacy Sex Education sex life sexual identity sexual preference sexual racism sexuality short film Shy Gay Guys Single All the Way single gay man Single Gay Men Single Gays Single Young Gays social distancing social isolation social media Social Security Somerville South Florida sports Stonewall Stonewall Riots straight men Super Bowl ads Super Bowl commercials Super Bowl LIV Supreme Court Switzerland Syfy Syria Tan France Television Tennessee The Boys in the Band The Center on Colfax The Christmas Setup The Eternals The First The Thing About Harry Threesome throuple TikTok Tom Daley toxic gay relationship toxic masculinity toxic relationships Transgender Travel Travis Shumake true love Trump administration Turner Free TV series Tweets Twitter Unconditional Love United Methodist Church US economy US Supreme Court Valentine's day viral news viral video Virginia Washington DC Web Series Wedding When Harry met Santa Workplace workplace discrimination World AIDS Day World Pride Young Gay Guys young gay men Youth YouTube

Comments
LGBTQ and Out on Social Media — but Nowhere Else – Real Gay dating

[…] post LGBTQ and Out on Social Media — but Nowhere Else appeared first on Gay Men […]

Leave a reply

Related articles
image for My Gay Match: Dating Guide for Young Gay Guys
My Gay Match: Dating Guide for Young Gay Guys

Gay relationships and socialization are already complicated by nature, more so if you want to be intimate with someone who you think is special. But don’t fret. This quick guide gives out gay dating advice for young gay guys out there who want to be more prepared.

More
image for Queer Things To Do in NYC This Weekend December 17-19
Queer Things To Do in NYC This Weekend December 17-19

The home stretch of the holiday season is bringing a selection of options for queer New Yorkers, including LGBTQ storytelling, networking, and benefit concerts.

More
image for This Adorable Same-Sex Marriage Proposal Will Melt Your Heart
This Adorable Same-Sex Marriage Proposal Will Melt Your Heart

A beautiful same-sex wedding proposal has gone viral on TikTok and Twitter for all the right reasons.

More
image for Best LGBTQ-Friendly Weekend in Washington, DC
Best LGBTQ-Friendly Weekend in Washington, DC

Make friends at a DC bar, take a tour of the city and delve into the neighborhoods with this weekend guide to LGBTQ+ DC.

More
image for Better Than Grindr? 5 Gay Dating Apps That Can Help Find Your Perfect Match
Better Than Grindr? 5 Gay Dating Apps That Can Help Find Your Perfect Match

Most online gay dating apps are a bit superficial in how you match with someone. If you want a different experience, try these gay dating apps.

More