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Love Life Friday: Stress Free Dating

Love Life Friday: Stress Free Dating image
Posted by Joseph on July 11, 2014

time is precious.

Reduce the amount of time you spend
with people who believe happy people are unrealistic. They feed their
negativity on the suspicion that happiness is unnatural. Happiness is an
attainable state of mind made even more attainable if you believe in it.
Collect people who agree with this concept and you are doubling your chances of
achieving and maintaining a high level of happiness. Conversely, negativity and
a depressed spirit can drive away potential love and sour the love you find.
Increase your draw and keep what you catch through a joyful demeanor.

difficult friends.

Almost everybody is occasionally hard
to handle and so are you. Leave behind the people who are hard all the time.
They will hinder you in reaching your goals and in the future be a stressor
in your marriage. We all have our drawbacks but you don’t have to add on smelly
pets who sleep with you, ultra demanding parents or bosses, or crazy friends.
Be honest: these “frienemies” already drive you nuts so why share that
experience with someone you love???

a lot.

If you don’t have a ready supply of
humor in your life, buy some. Go to a comedy show, read amusing books, listen
to tapes that make you laugh or think but not cry, amass up-lifting slogans,
and posters. Then share whatever you think is funny with others. Laughter is
infectious; it lifts the spirit and clears the mind. Be that table at the
restaurant where everyone wishes they were sitting. Be that person that sees
humor in everyday life and shares it. It is passive pro-activity: the more you
seem to be enjoying yourself, the more you are likely to attract men who want to
join you in the fun.

simply must smile.

This is a non-option if you want to
find love. You need to look approachable and friendly and if this is not your
style, develop it anyway to use occasionally – it’s sexy. The one and only
exception is life-threatening situations. But you know by now to choose safe
streets, known bars and restaurants and recommended meetings.
Don’t know how to smile? Practice
on furniture, and small, furry mammals. Add people you know. Then proceed to
people you don’t know before you work your way up to full-grown men you find

down the volume.

Electronic media promotes
negativity and poor sleep habits both of which contribute to crankiness and a
less desirable you. Do stay current and informed but select a news source that
screens out gratuitous violence and keep noise level at 30 or below to decrease
noise pollution.

your drug time.

Turn off plug-in drugs – television
and computer. Face Time is no substitute for good ol’ “mano y mano”, eye to eye
face time.
Books, music and physical
activities are generally more uplifting and conducive to a good night’s sleep.
Lower your intake level of alcohol and simple carbohydrates. They are
depressants. Water, vegetables, protein, and fruit combined with exercise do
produce a cheerier you.

perspective on depression.

Much of it is circumstantial. When
the loved family pet dies, you’ve been cruelly rejected, or your best friend
moves across country, sadness needs to be felt and experienced, not shoved into
your emotional bottle. Unexpressed feeling lasts longer, can get worse, and may
come out much later in ways you could regret. But if you are regularly
depressed with no identifiable triggers, seek help. You need to be able to
quickly handle rejection and start over and over and possibly over again for
the time it takes to find the right man for you.


To those you feel you want to know
better and who are capable of understanding, reveal yourself through stories of
your childhood, teenage experiences, as well as current feelings. Always answer
honestly when caring people ask how you are or if they can help.
I am not asking to pour out your
true self to everyone you meet. But you have to be capable of self-revelation
in order to be understood. And if you can’t be understood, you won’t be able to
feel truly loved.

Use effective communication.

Which sentences are more effective:
you yell, I can’t listen because I get defensive,” or “I hate it when you treat
me like this”?
“Would you help me” or
“You never help me”?
The first choices open up connection.
The second choices shut it down and doom you to getting less of what you are
asking for in the future.
Stress kills and it also fattens. It
can also obliterate the possibility of a great first impression and do
irreparable damage to a relationship.  Fix your stress level before you
find someone to love. Don’t you owe it to yourself to protect his happiness and
yours as well?

Janet Blair Page, PhD, author of Get Married This Year: 365 Days to “I Do”, {Adams Media). is a relationship expert with more than thirty years of experience in private practice in New York and Atlanta. She taught at Emory University for twenty-two years and has been featured in the New York Times, Glamour Magazine,, and U.S. News and World Report and on CNN, HLN, FOX, Good Morning America, and The Early Show. For more information please

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