Top Tips For Dating An Older Gay Man

Written by JosephAugust 21, 2021

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While dating an older gay man is no longer a big deal, age-gap relationships do come with their unique set of challenges.

Salt and pepper hair. A face hardened by experience. A certain sense of calmness and stability. There is just much that makes the idea of dating an older gay man irresistible. Are you dating an older gay man or thinking about dipping your toes into that more mature water? Well, my dears, you’ve come to the right place.

While dating an older gay man is no longer a big deal, age-gap relationships do come with their unique set of challenges. For instance, your points of reference for things in life or pop culture influence can be markedly different. This can make finding common ground to connect over a lot harder.

With the right tips for dating an older gay man to help you through this journey, you can surely make it a fun and fulfilling ride.

Discuss what dating means to you both

When starting things up with someone considerably older, there must be absolute clarity about what you both want from the relationship. Let’s say, you’re dating an older gay man in your 20s. Are you in it just for the experience? Or are you open to the prospect of it turning into something more serious and long-term? Is your potential partner interested in a long-term relationship at that stage of his life?

An honest discussion right at the onset of the relationship can save you from heartbreak or a nasty breakup later. Where do you see this going? – This is definitely one of the questions to ask an older gay man you are dating. Yes, I get that most gay couples don’t want to touch that question with a 10-foot pole for as long as they can avoid it, in your case, putting it off may not be in your best interest as a couple.

Leverage the benefits of dating an older man and learn from him

An older gay man brings a lot of experience to the table and that counts as one of the biggest benefits of dating an older gay man. So, keep an open mind and be prepared to learn from him. He may end up pulling the ‘at your age’ card more often than you like. It can become an irritant, if not taken in the right spirit.

As with anyone with more years and experience behind them, your older partner is likely to be right about most things. So, rather than doing things just to defy him, try to learn from his experiences.

Ask his opinion

Since an older gay man may have a broader perspective on life simply because he is more experienced, you can ask him questions that a younger man might find threatening. For instance, you can ask him about career growth or money management because he is likely to be very supportive, offering you advice from his experience, referring you to professional colleagues, or simply pointing out where you can find your best answers.

Additionally, an older gay man will probably really enjoy talking things over with you. By asking him about important decisions you’re thinking of making, he will not only be able to offer insights, but he will also feel recognized and appreciated. Older gay men like to share their knowledge, wisdom, and advice. They enjoy being generous and helpful.

Be yourself

There is a reason this man was attracted to you, so don’t try to be someone you’re not – he wants you. Oftentimes in relationships like this, the younger gay guy thinks that he need to act more mature and try to take on a different persona…..don’t!

Don’t become too needy or dependent

While older gay men do appreciate a younger partner who needs them, they also appreciate a man who is independent – someone who is able to make decisions, earn money, and take care of himself. When you don’t feel independent, you place a burden on the relationship. Even if a man earns much more than you and can easily take care of all your expenses, he will feel stifled if he has to take care of all the bills and expenses, as well as make all the decisions on where to go out for dinner, where to shop, and other simple things. So stay self-assured, confident, and fairly independent.

Be spontaneous

Every now and then try to do something out-of-the-norm. It doesn’t have to be as drastic as skydiving (unless of course you’re into that sort of thing) but something small such as trying a unique restaurant or a new hobby!

Age doesn’t have to be an issue

When you meet an older man that you want to date, don’t let age be a barrier. Science has shown us that chronological age is only a number. Areas like health, family history, exercise and mental attitude are more of an indicator of body age than the birth number. Some people may be much younger than their actual age mentally, emotionally and socially, while others may have had life experiences that make them seem older than their birth age.

If you really like someone who is considerably older, the relationship is usually based on compatible personalities, common interests, and chemistry. An age difference between two people who really like each other is something that quickly becomes a non-issue.

Fun Fact: A study published in 2019 titled “Disintermediating your friends: How online dating in the United States displaces other ways of meeting” found that 65% of gay couples met through dating apps. That doesn’t mean it’s always a good experience, though! This is why we highly recommend premier dating sites like Gay Dating Solutions and My Gay Match.

My Gay Match is a new gay dating site that focuses on matching gay men not only on demographic information but a unique personality measure developed by a psychologist. All members are personally confirmed and carefully screened by their staff to prove that they are real. If you’re looking to find a warm and meaningful connection with interesting and caring singles this is the site for you. The gay dating website is currently offering a free 30-day trial.

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