What Does Your Fetish Say About You?

Sexual fetishes are alive and well in the gay community, but we’ve managed to make them a bit more creative. I myself have been known to dabble in a bit of role-playing myself, and honey I’ve never been so free. My man doesn’t have a problem with it either.

First things first, fetishes are different from fantasies. Most are physical rather than imaginary, which only exist in our heads. Fetishes can be touched, felt, smelled and realized much more easily. More interestingly, they’re also likely linked to a childhood memory and can even act as a window to our psychological mindset. Here are a few that might tickle your fancy. Check and see if yours made the list:

FEET

The feet are interesting. We walk, run, and work on them all day long, yet, we’re able to dress them up and display a kind of class system. You might be surprised that areas in our brains associated with genitalia and feet are adjacent to each other in its body image map. Sigmund Freud once said that people sexualize feet because they resemble penises, however, scientists have discovered that a lot of people’s brains are cross-wired between the foot and genital parts. This is why many of us love to have our toes sucked.

Most people are either black or white when it comes to feet. While some love them, others hate them just as much. But according to Academic studies, feet and foot accessories are the most fetishized of all non-genital body parts and objects – so you’re not alone.

Even if a lot of it has to do with physiological association, much of it also has to do with worship. In the old days, servants used to wash the feet of their masters. The foot is usually the first stop we make on our way to worshipping our man’s body. It’s an easy way to demonstrate our reverence and surrender to him. You love to please, and even more so, to watch the results of your efforts. Perhaps this kind of mindset translates into your every day life. Do you gain tremendous happiness by watching other people enjoy the works of your labor?

GOTHIC TOYS

I have to say, there’s something hot about having sex like pagan gods. Candles, coffins, masks, biting, handcuffs, sensual torture and everything else exist on different areas of the spectrum. Some people are clean, while others are willing to dive head first into experimentation.

You definitely have a huge imagination. Even vanilla things like putting on a mask and getting handcuffed to a bed might say wonders about where your mind is. You don’t like to play by the rules. It’s not sex or bodies that turn you on so much as the adrenaline, thrill, and above all, the anticipation. This is the root of your perspective on everything.

You’re an observer. You’re a listener. You see the world a bit crookedly, but that’s the best part about you – I’m sure everyone else will say the same thing. If you set your mind on something, you’ll probably get it because you do it your way. It’s the rush you live for. You were probably the first one to break the rules in high school, not just that, but try and convince other people to do the same. It’s gotten you pretty far in life so far, and the best part is, whenever you’re reaching the end you can say that you’ve experienced it all. And that’s something to be proud of.

PROSTITUTION

Prostitution doesn’t exist like it used to. Ever since the inventions of Grindr and other hookup apps, we’ve acted as our own prostitutes – only much more classier. We seek out sex under our terms, our regulations, our limits, and the best part? It’s free!

I’m not saying that everyone who’s on Grindr is a prostitute, but if you think about it, they have the same rules and ideas. Random sex pleases both partners sexually without having to deal with the emotional responsibilities. Every now and then, it can simply be a way to achieve your sexual appetite during the ruts of being single. If it’s virtually every day, perhaps there is some kind of fear holding you back from making any kind of connection. It’s easy for you to separate sex from emotion, but over time it will desensitize you from an authentic spark.

Are real relationships too risky for you? Is the insatiable need for sex too much to handle, so you’d rather just get to the point rather than waste time digging for a connection? Has this kind of thing bled into other areas of your life? Perhaps you’re seeking out the rewards in life without doing the work it takes to get there. You’d much rather sit back and wait for things to come to you instead of making the initiative to go out there and grab it. The thing is, however, you know you have the power to do it. All you need is a little motivation. Once you get that, you’ll soon find that the real joy is in the journey. You know you’re talented enough to see your dreams realized, so take the baby steps it takes to get there.

“FURRIES” or “PLUSHIES”

There are lots of people who dress up like animals and seek out other like-minded (and like-dressed) people to play with. It’s known as ursusagalmatophilia, and it’s super popular nowadays. Therapists have said that this kind of fetish is based on people who like to anthropomorphize animals and ascribe them with human qualities, generally cute qualities.

Not to be confused with zoophilia (sexual attraction to animals), ursusagalmatophilia is generally linked with the need to feel better about yourself, while also making other people feel happy. Who wouldn’t get a smile from someone on the street when they’re dressed as a chicken or unicorn? Underneath the smiles, however, might be a desire to be exactly what the costume represents: acceptance.

Chances are, the costume is a tool for you to feel better about your body, your potential, and everything else society associates our value upon. While we get our fix outside the costumes, perhaps we ought to be focusing on changing our mood without it. It’s great to dress up and give people joy, don’t get me wrong, but never should you let it become the baseline of your self-worth.

EXHIBITIONISM

Sex in public is always going to be in the back one’s mind. It’s vulnerable, exciting, adrenaline-rushed, and against the law – all of which make us want to do it even more. Being observed by the world can be a turn on. It’s as if we’re saying “Look, but don’t touch! Aren’t I desirable?” It seemingly boosts our esteem at times, and can arouse more than just excitement; but in a way, it’s also a silent protest.

Your life is about making statements, being proud, and trying to prove yourself –at least a fearless effort. The feeling of exhibitionism, in some ways, is related to a need to feel empowered. Achieving something as taboo as public sex without getting caught makes you feel like you can do anything, and that’s fabulous. Never lose that side of you – it’s the side that ain’t afraid of taking risks, and trust me when I say that’s something we all need a bit more of.

FOOD SEX

Human beings have had the same mindset since the beginning of creation: a main goal throughout the day is to feed ourselves. We’re also one of the only species on the planet that has sex for pleasure (dolphins are another). However, food’s purpose is no longer to feed our stomachs, but rather to tickle our senses. The combo of both is like a circus to our brains.

You’re a huge believer in chance and intuition. Most likely, you listen to your gut more often than anyone else in your immediate circle of friends. If it feels good, looks good, and gives the right signs, you’re probably going to go for it. And trust me, people notice. They like having you around because you remind them what it’s like to be human and to feel things. Never let that go!

WATER SPORTS

People tend to cringe whenever they imagine someone peeing on them. It’s incredibly demeaning (seemingly) and totally out there we rarely take it seriously. The truth is there are countless of men who fantasize about marking their territory (so to speak) on man. We forget human beings are animals. We’re obviously much more intelligent, but there is an innate sense of ownership all animals in the animal kingdom use. For some, they battle with each other to separate the big boys from the small; for us, we have written contracts and titles.

The thing is, once it happens you can’t take it back. A person getting peed on isn’t going to scream it from the mountaintops that they were just urinated on by a stranger in the park (or something); it most likely stays a very well kept secret – this is where the allure comes from.

You’re probably the kind of person who respects order and organization. You don’t like to waste time, and you thrive on being a leader. You like to boast and you probably waste no opportunity being the first to volunteer. Depending on your personality, people either love or hate you. But that doesn’t matter so long as they know who’s boss, right? Be careful though. The last thing you want to be is a dictator. They nearly always get brought down.

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

 

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