6 Simple Dos and Don’ts of Online Gay Dating

So, you’d like to meet someone and have decided to go online. That’s a good move — proactive and forward-thinking. But be careful not to be lulled into habits that will undermine your online gay dating experience.

Here are some tips to keep in mind as you peruse the seemingly endless stream of profiles from prospective partners.

 

1. Don’t go crazy over the pictures.

On the Internet, it’s easy to feel nitpicky and maintain high expectations. With apps like Grindr and Tinder, you snap-judge users as if you were scrolling Amazon for the best pair of speakers.

This sense of being in the driver’s seat, of choosing, can be appealing. It makes you feel powerful. Fight it.

 

2. Don’t be afraid to ask questions.

Something even the hot guys who are sort of good at online dating don’t seem to understand: you have to also ask questions about your date. It’s not just about you and what you’re interested in and what you do and what you like. Your date is also a person with an exciting life.

 

3. Evaluate the tone of the profile.

What’s actually important in evaluating a profile is its tone. You want to try and get a sense of what the person is like, which can be truly difficult.

It’s a challenge as a novelist to convey characters in meaningful ways — it’s no less demanding for a person writing, or reading, dating profiles. It’s key to read between the lines to get a sense of whether the person seems well-adjusted — pleasant, friendly and reasonable, someone you would be drawn to if you met him in person, even if you didn’t know his top five favorite movies.

Attention to tone when you read profiles will help you to ferret some of those qualities no one admits to (we often don’t even know we have them, sadly).

 

4. Seeing a movie is a bad first date idea.

Why don’t you go somewhere where you can TALK and get to know one another? Rather than sit quietly in the dark for 2 hours listening to each other breathe.

 

5. Be careful what you say and who you say it to.

Don’t automatically assume that people on a particular dating website don’t converse with one another. If you’re telling one guy what a party animal you are but you try to come off as a homebody to attract another, you might get caught dead in your tracks.

 

6. Be up front about your intentions.

If all you’re looking for is a roll in the hay, say so tactfully. If you prefer to be friends first long before any romance, mention that as well. There’s no need to hide your intentions – they’re eventually going to come out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city.
Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!
 
Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!
 
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Gay Dating 101: Our Five Favorite Dating Tips

Let’s face it, when it comes to meeting the next Mr. Right, we could all do with a little help. Here are seven things to keep in mind next time you’re out on a date:

 

1. Don’t forget your manners

Without getting too Sir Lancelot about things, a little dating etiquette goes a long way. If he looks nice, tell him that. Be a gentleman – but play it by ear and don’t go too overboard. Also, make sure you remember his eye color (trust us on this one) and when you’re comfortable, maybe test the waters by leaning in a little closer as he speaks – if he backs away, well, it’s probably not going well.

 

2. Be confident

Everyone’s nervous on a first date, but there’s nothing more attractive than a bit of self-confidence. When it comes to conversation, stay in your comfort zone by coming up with a few topics that you can talk about easily so you’re not out of your depth too early. But it’s a delicate balance – no one wants to be the guy who bangs on about his comic book collection all night, or what a pro his is on the bench press. If in doubt, ask your date about themselves and go from there.

It sounds simple, but choosing someone with similar interests is a big plus. Just be yourself and don’t try to force it.

 

3. Keep it casual

Drinks are fine for a first date. After all, no one wants to sit through the seven-course degustation with someone you’ve only just met – especially if you both realize it’s not going to work after the entrees appear. Also, if it’s a first outing, maybe head to a bar you’ve been to before – you’ll at least know your way there, and it’s one less thing you have to worry about. But avoid just heading to your local watering hole – it’s obvious if you’ve chosen somewhere that’s just around the corner from your pad. Try for something that’s convenient for both of you to get to.

It’s perfectly ok to keep first or second dates to weeknights, but anything after the third outing together should be at the weekend. Otherwise, they’re going to wonder what you’re doing that’s so much more interesting than them. Or, worse, who.

 

4. Be prepared

Your first date is a great opportunity to show him what you’re made of. And trust us, first impressions count for a lot. If you look like you’ve just stepped out of bed, your date is going to think you don’t really care. Get your hair cut, maybe invest in a new outfit, and check your teeth and nails are looking presentable. Plan to arrive a little early, so you’re not flustered when you walk in the door and you’ve got a bit of time to give yourself the quick once-over in the bathroom mirror.

When it comes time to order, play it fairly safe by avoiding anything you’ve never tried before or that’s tricky to eat. As a general rule, if it involves a bib, best to steer well clear. If you’re no wine boffin, go with the most recent vintage white, or drink pinot if you want red because it suits more food than not.

 

6. Eyes in front

Remember, when you’re on a date with someone, they should be the center of your attention. Ask them about themselves and pay attention to their answers. And don’t try to get a sneaky look at your watch or phone – and that hot guy sitting at the bar who you just checked out? Yep, they saw that, too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!
 
Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!
 
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The Dos and Don’ts of Online Gay Dating

Successful online gay dating takes more than a selfie and a dashed-off profile.

Don’t Friend Your Date… Yet

Thanks to countless social networks and dating sites, Cupid’s arrow has been replaced by a wireless signal, bringing with it lots of new head-scratching predicaments. Are you ready to open this cyber can of worms? We recommend ignoring friend requests from potential boyfriends until after you’ve established exclusivity. You won’t want to be in his arms on Friday night, while he’s posting photos with another guy on Saturday night. Digital jealousy in the beginning of your relationship could actually destroy the possibilities of long-term love. We suggest treating a Facebook connection the same way you would a real-life relationship. You’ve been on two or three dates with someone… Would now be the time to introduce this person to all of your friends? Your family? Maybe some exes? No way.

Clean Up Your Facebook Profile

Before you friend your new man or that guy you met last Saturday night, you might want to take the time to do some digital housekeeping. Delete anything on your Facebook wall that could be considered offensive or otherwise hurt your love crusade. Choose a good profile picture (obviously), untag or delete any unsavory photos and don’t whine! Facebook complainers are a huge turn-off. Keep your rants, complaints and cryptic messages to yourself.

Do You Research

When it comes to online dating, we’re complete advocates for doing a little light stalking pre-meetup. Do a quick Google search of your guy and check out his social media accounts. We’re not saying come prepared to recite from memory his favorite movies and TV shows—skim over that stuff, and instead check for red flags like legal trouble or offensive tweets. This is where your own reverse image search could come in handy as well. Just make sure you don’t friend or request anyone you haven’t met in real life yet. That way, your information will be kept private (While you can keep your personal social accounts private, chances are your potential online matches are scrutinizing your dating profiles

Meet in the Real World

It can be tempting to get invested in online chat relationships because they feel safe and manageable, but great conversations don’t necessarily mean great chemistry. Follow the “3-back-and-forths” rule. After three rounds of email replies, you should ask him out on a real, live date. Simply suggest drinks or invite him to be your plus-one at an upcoming event. The worst they can say is ‘no’, and then you don’t get to meet them, which is exactly what was going to happen if you didn’t mention it!

Avoid Relationship Status Limbo

Don’t be too quick on the draw when it comes to changing your Facebook relationship status. You need to make sure you and your partner are on the same digital page before broadcasting to your social circles that you’re “in a relationship”. As for switching back to “single,” notify your ex about your profile update (if the breakup was mutual and amicable). Take note: Removing the “in a relationship” status from your profile will automatically delete it from his. And don’t use the “end of a relationship” feature offered on the new Facebook Timeline layout. To avoid the dilemma completely, consider setting your relationship status to private to avoid awkward comments or creepy “likes.” (Here’s how: Go to your Facebook profile page, select “Edit Profile” or “About,” then edit “Friends and Family” from the left-hand menu and change your “Relationship Status” to “Select Relation.” Save changes.)

Delete Your Grindr

Once you’re in an exclusive relationship, your Grindr needs to come down. Remaining active is disrespectful to your new mate and unfair to the digital love seekers who think you’re still available. Plus, it’s a necessary sign of commitment for some. Don’t want to put all your eggs in one basket? Choose to deactivate your profile rather than terminate, so you can enter the dating game easily if things don’t work out.

Know When to Unfriend

If you don’t want to completely X out your ex, we recommend hiding their Facebook feed to ease the breakup blues. Do the same with their family and/or mutual friends to cut down on the number of ex-related updates. You may want to get in touch with your past love in the future, and re-friending him after an extended period of time could be awkward. So only unfriend an ex if the relationship ended badly, e.g. he cheated or stole from you.

Erase Past Relationships

Want your ex’s grinning mug gone from your digital life? We suggest asking a friend to hit delete on your lovey-dovey couple pics to save you the heartache of reliving happier times. Of course, if your relationship ended on good terms, you might not need to do a total clean sweep. If your current flame remains friends with his ex (and is still tagged in her photos), be confident in your new relationship and just ignore it. Letting him know that it upsets you will only make him realize that you’re checking up on his digital past. 

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!



Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!


Sign-up now: www.gaydatingsolutions.com
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I Have Low Self-Esteem. Is Online Gay Dating For Me?

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Reader’s Question: Is online gay dating for me? I’m a 40-year-old single gay guy with average looks and great sense of humor but have been overweight for years. I’ve been fat-shamed by family, friends and boyfriends growing up and have extremely low self-esteem. I was also the brunt of a very cruel fraternity prank in college that I have never gotten past. It just crushed me and humiliated me.
After having two short, but painful, relationships in my 20s, I swore off dating for good. I’m no good at it, and the men I attract are cruel. One left me stranded at a restaurant because I wanted him to pay for once; one told me that he was too grossed out to kiss me … The list goes on. You honestly can’t imagine the painful things that have been said about me. And I always blamed myself. So I just said no more.
All these years later I’m wondering if I should jump back in the ring. I still have poor self-esteem and I’m still overweight, but I’m a good person. I just don’t want to be shamed or made to feel bad. I want someone to be on my team for once, and not against me. Am I too old for online gay dating? Have I been out of the game too long? Any advice would be great.

Sincerely,
40YOVirgin

Gay Dating Solutions: Hey 40YOVirgin! This is so nice: it’s very rare that I get a letter from someone who describes themselves with positive adjectives. To me this says you are at a fine starting point for potentially getting into dating again: maybe you feel that you have poor self-esteem, but your letter belies this: you do have a good understanding of the positive things that you bring to the world. Understanding these will certainly help you if you do decide you want to try meeting someone who values and respects you.
You mention a few incidents in your past that have weighed heavy on your conscious when it comes to your relationships with men; I wonder if you have ever talked to a therapist about them? If not, it might be helpful to get some professional help to work on being able to feel better about these events in your past before you pursue experiences that might trigger bad memories or make you feel unduly vulnerable.
Now, is online gay dating the best way to meet someone? It may be because it can give you the opportunity to test the water a bit: corresponding with men before you meet them to gauge your interest or enthusiasm for dating. It sounds like you have been quite hurt in the past, and because of this I’d urge you to remember to take things slowly when you start: it’s OK for your initial forays into internet dating to simply be useful in terms of the exposure that they give you to the idea of dating. Take some time to understand what you like in men and what makes you feel some misgivings. Over the years I’ve gotten much better at realizing that a gut feeling that someone isn’t quite right or kind is usually accurate, not something that I should forgive in the hopes that our interaction improves. Allow yourself the opportunity to tune in to these feelings.
As for the issue of your weight and appearance: so few people in the world fit the mold of what Hollywood tells us is conventionally attractive. And yet so many of us find love anyway. If you’d like companionship, don’t assume that the way you look will be the barrier to it. You are a wonderful person with a good sense of humor. Be forthright about these things and trust that it is possible to meet someone who loves these things, and more, about you.

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

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