Gay Online Dating Just For Hookups? – Wrong!

It seems easy for gay guys to separate love and sex, especially when it’s so convenient to find both. This is the 21st century after all. Digital technology has made people dependent on all sorts of apps. They’ve made buying groceries, ordering food, purchasing items and finding sex much more easier. But has it succeeded in helping us find love?

First, it’s time to know the difference between hookup apps and dating apps. Most gay guys searching for love are under the impression that “spreading yourself” across as many digital platforms as you can increases the chances of finding a compatible person. Though it makes logical sense, here’s my problem with it.

When you have a particular intention, it’s silly to try and find it anywhere else except websites that market themselves for your needs. You wouldn’t go into a music store to buy a fish, right? Why then would you try to find romance or love on particular apps marketing themselves as a “hookup” source?

If a site’s platform actually aims to help you build a connection with a man, rather than a two-dimensional hookup app, it’s probably going to be a better source to find romance. Sites like Gay Dating Solutions is a pretty good example of that. Obviously apps like Grindr would be a different story. Personal questions, compatibility data and full access to a man’s life rather than what’s in his pants (i.e. “Private images”) are all good signs of sites geared towards finding love. 

Don’t get me wrong, every love story is different. That’s the beauty of it. With so many people dating online now there’s almost no reason to venture off into gayborhoods to find a man anymore. But despite polls showing one in ten Americans are dating online, many gay guys are hesitant out of fear it will become “all about the sex” real quick. The truth of the matter is it’s all about where your focus lies.

If you’re expecting online dating sites to offer nothing but sex, guess what, it probably will because it’ll be the only thing you’re seeing. It’s the perception you’ve created for yourself. But when you make it clear what you want, users and potential mates will follow that standard because you’ve set the intention. Sure you’ll find a few horny goats out there, but the vast majority of them won’t message you unless you’re giving a subliminal invitation towards the idea. 

Too many guys I’ve spoken with claim they’re looking for love, yet the shirtless profile pic of them doesn’t seem to match their words. When you lay down the line – whether it’s sex, love, or open to possibilities – you will welcome other like-minded guys to you.

Online dating is supposed to be fun because it’s all in your control. Sex-cruising is a bit more intense because it’s all about the hunt. But if there’s one philosophy everyone should live by it’s “All roads lead to Rome.” Love is possible through online dating, trust me, I’ve seen it with my own two eyes. But like all things, you have to know where to look. Romance exists in the inter web, so go out and find it.

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

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