Written by Joseph • December 3, 2014
How do you ask a dude out when you don’t know if he’s gay or not? This one is simple: Ask him out without asking him out. Confused? Don’t be. I’ll explain. I’m a fan of developing relationships as friends first (eventually evolving into romantic friendships, then exclusive dating, then more, etc). You should take […]
Invite him out to do buddy things—a movie; a game of pool; happy hour; a game of Wii—basically, things friends do. Get to know him as a person and open the door for him to get to know you. How do you approach him? Find something (I’m sorry, anything) that you have in common—the color blue, his sneakers, that gap between his teeth—and strike up a conversation. Then hit him with the invite to do friendly activities. The idea isn’t to seduce him; but to become friends.
Manage your expectations, though. You like him, so consciously or not, you’ve built a fantasy in your head about you two being together. Sexuality, friendships and relationships are not quite that transparent. Keep an open mind for an infinite amount of scenarios: He may be gay and not ready to come out; he may be gay and is just not into you; he may be straight and a homophobe; he may be straight and gay friendly; or he may be gay and into you. Don’t focus on your wants right now; focus on what is.
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