10 Effective Tips to Stop Constant Fighting in a Relationship

Most relationships go through a stage where you and your partner are just constantly fighting. Seriously, you’re fighting all. the. time. It’s exhausting, it’s frustrating, and most of the time you don’t even understand what’s happening because the fights are so stupid. All you know is that you’re right, and he’s wrong. Am I right?
Some gay couples can get through this stage and come out okay – maybe even stronger and better than before! But gay couples can’t, and all that fighting ruins their relationship. Constant arguing is relatively normal if it only goes on for a bit, but if it’s nonstop, you need to do something differently. If you’re not ready to give up on the relationship, then you need to learn how to stop fighting! It sounds simple, but it can take work. Here are 10 Effective Tips to Stop Constant Fighting in a Relationship. Good luck and you’re welcome!

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Prevent a Breakup: Mistakes Gay Men Make in Relationships

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Straight, Gay, LGBT – We all want to have a great relationship but some of us just don’t know how to keep one. Here are some common mistakes Gay men make in relationships.

1. Open Relationships: While we may want to live interesting and experimental lives, the biggest mistake a Gay couple can make is having an open one. You would assume that what you have is enough to make it work, but when you feel like you need more than what you have, it borders problems. You and your partner risk the trouble of falling in love with someone else, having chemistry he might prefer over yours, or risk putting the whole relationship out to dry. While threesomes may be a bit more optional, Open relationships just don’t seem to be the way to go about things and is probably the number one reason Gay relationships don’t work. Sometimes when a relationship doesn’t work its time to move on. Don’t recycle something you’re not going to use again and use OPEN as an excuse.

2. Neediness: A common relationship mistake Gay men make is attaching themselves too much and too quickly. Even twins born together have their own ways of being independent. It is not your partner’s fault if you have had issues in the past with other people or family and it is not his job to pick up the pieces. While there is nothing wrong with loving hard, a Gay man must always learn to have his own voice, his own identity and his own life. If you worry too much about latching on, you run the risk of pushing your partner away.

3. Arguing: No relationship is perfect, and we all argue and disagree sooner or later. But arguing about everything can be very toxic. Stop using excuses about how “Strong” & “Independent” you are to win a fight. Respect boundaries, respect each other and respect space and opinions. While he may not say everything you want to hear, learn to listen and learn to understand. After all, you picked him right? Don’t say anything you’re going to regret later. Sometimes words hurt more than sticks and stones and sometimes saying things in the heat of the moment can result in losing someone you truly love. If it’s not important, let it go. If it’s something you can’t control, learn to vocalize your concerns and learn to keep it to the point. If you are hitting a brick wall, analyze your relationship and make a decision whether he is right for you. But never destroy your relationship with words.

4. Being With Someone For Comfort: (Money, Favors, Apartment) While there is no problem moving in with your boyfriend or sharing an account or money, there is a fine line between sharing and taking more than he wants to give. Don’t get in a relationship because you need stability and he’s your safety net. Learn to work for your own, earn your own and have your own things. There’s nothing worse than having a break-Up and you having to be out on the street because everything belongs to him. While some men may seem amazing at first, you quickly find out they may be using you as well. Be with someone because you love them, not because they can give you something of luxury.

5. Going to the club together: While many may disagree, this is probably the most common mistake a Gay man can make. A club is never a place to spend quality time with your boyfriend. While it may seem innocent and fun, Clubs involve alcohol and a bunch of hot guys (depending on what club you go to). And while you may say that your eyes are only for him, and his for you, there is a lot of distraction and a lot of men who are not afraid to flirt hardcore. Some men go to clubs just to find a man to fuck. If you are not there to hook up do not pretend like its for the music. Unfortunately, in the Gay community there are people who don’t respect what you have and while its all about trust, I don’t think you want to complicate it by having a guy shake his ass in front of you. A small bar or a more lounge upscale place is more convenient. You don’t have to worry about going to the bathroom and leaving your camera phone on.

6. Putting Your Relationship Status on Facebook: You might be that guy who feels like your boyfriend should definitely change his relationship status on FB to prove his love, but this may harm you more than it works for you. Why? Because you or your boyfriend may notice that your friend requests keep growing only because people want to know who this guy is. Some guys don’t care and will hit on your boyfriend even if it says In Relationship. Don’t ask me why they’re like this, but its a fact. Also, you may get upset when these sudden mutual friends leave innuendos or comments on your boyfriends timeline, assuming your stupid enough not to notice. While anyone would assume its all about trust, like the club, some men just have no respect or dignity. So some men are more attracted to what they can’t have or will do things to spite you. So prepare yourself. Sometimes its better to just not put up a relationship status to begin with and just trust your partner. Its up to you.

7. Not Allowing Your Boyfriend To Go Out With Friends: You’re his boyfriend not his master. The biggest mistake a Gay man can do is think he can control his boyfriend. While a lot of Gay couples don’t mind being on a leash and it works for them, some people just need space. This is where trust really comes in. If you feel like you can’t trust your boyfriend enough with any of his friends, then he’s not for you. A good boyfriend is suppose to make you feel secure and know that he is there for you not because you’re around. Same thing with Passwords and emails. If you can’t trust your boyfriend you don’t deserve him. He’s his own person and whether you like it or not, we’re in the real world. Unlike the club where you’re in a close capacity to horny drunk men, the world is full of different people, not all out to get your man. Learn to trust and to live your own life as well. Some things you can do together and some apart.

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

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10 Signs You Are NOT Emotionally Ready for a New Relationship

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Just because you want a relationship doesn’t mean you’re ready for one. I know what you’re thinking right now. “Of course, I’m ready for a relationship. It’s what I’ve been waiting so long for! I just need to know how I can get one started!”

Well, I’m certainly not arguing that you want a real relationship. I’m asking if you’re ready for a real relationship. That one’s tough to answer, because it entails really looking at yourself and your beliefs, attitudes and behaviors in a real, open, and honest way. And that’s never easy.
One thing I can tell you is that I’ve been there. I’ve been in that spot where all I could think about was how I so wanted a real relationship, with all of the affection, understanding, support and love that comes with it. And that’s when I asked myself this very same question and I realized that I didn’t like the answer. I had some major changing to do.

Are you ready for a relationship?
The ability to know if you are in a place to enter into a romantic relationship with another can be difficult to know. Let’s face it – love is complex! Perhaps a more effective way of knowing the answer to the question – Am I relationship ready – is to look at the warning signs that likely suggest you are not ready.
What follows are 10 Signs that strongly indicate you are not yet ready to be involved in a romantic relationship. Generally speaking, if three or more of these signs apply to your situation, it may support a larger mosaic of evidence that you need to work on yourself more
Are you ready? Let’s jump right in!

1. You keep attracting the same types of people who are unhealthy for you
If you have a history of entering into relationships with people who are unhealthy for you and keep repeating that pattern, what will be different in a new romance?

2. You are settling for someone because they are simply interested
Many people believe they must enter into a given relationship with another because that person is simply available, with no other prospects in the pipe-line. For obvious reasons, settling for someone because they have shown interest in you is not a recipe for long-term, lasting love.

3. You are hoping someone will “save you”
Hoping to escape your own emotional pain, you believe entering into a relationship with someone will save you from your emotional pain. In truth, no lover can do this for us. We can only create change for the positive by facing and ultimately working through our life issues – hopefully through insight oriented counseling.

4. You confuse love with obsession
Confusing love with obsession means that we instantly attach ourselves to another, even though we have not given ourselves a chance to truly know the person. Usually, those who confuse love with obsession attract mates who are emotionally unavailable. Characteristically, there is a pattern of obsessive love that is destructive in nature.

5. You feel you “Must” be in a relationship due to pressure
As mentioned previously, many people feel they need to be in a relationship with another because of family and societal pressures. If this is the case for you, it may be helpful to ask yourself the question: Isn’t love supposed to be organic? Can I really force love?

6. You want to fix someone
To a lesser or greater degree, all of us are co-dependent. Humans must depend on one another in the larger scheme of things in order to survive. With that shared – if you want to enter into a relationship because you need to “fix” someone, it simply isn’t going to work – not for you or the person you are interested in. The need to fix another is a classic sign of co-dependency.

7. You just got out of a long-term relationship
This is one that many may dispute but needs to be included. If you have been in a relationship with another for an extended period of time (3-years or more) and recently got out of it, there is simply no way you are ready to move on to a new one. It takes time for the mind and heart to heal. As a general rule, it takes at least a year (if not more) to work through the aftermath of a relationship that recently collapsed.

8. Your self-esteem is deeply wounded
Much of this point relates to other signs mentioned here. If you are in a place where your self-esteem is deeply wounded (aka in the crapper), you need to carefully think about your ability to function in a healthy, meaningful way in a romantic relationship. See point #3.

9. You feel sexually confident
This point simply means that you are not worried about “pleasing” your mate. In other words, your desire to become intimate with another feels equal when it happens, devoid of worry or concerns about “being enough” for a potential mate. In many ways, this means channeling the positive attributes of so called narcissism.

10. You don’t love yourself
We hear this term – self-love – but what does it really mean? It means being able to look at yourself in the mirror and accept who you are as a person. It means having the awareness that perfection is never possible and that you can only be the best person you can be at this exact moment in time. If you are not in this place, you simply are not relationship ready.
If any of the above sound like you, then you need to start looking inward and making some changes to your life in order to get yourself ready to be with someone else. The good news? Once you have these licked, you will be ready for a real relationship. And then you’ll be in good emotional shape to start attracting the kind of man that you want to be in a relationship with, and he’ll want to be in a relationship with you too.
Why? Because you’ll both be emotionally healthy. So, when Mr. Right does walk into your life, you’ll both be in the right state of mind, in the right place, at the right time. And it doesn’t get any more right than that.

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?



Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

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Easy Ways to Enhance and Deepen Your Relationship

Our relationships grow deeper and more fulfilling when we have the ability to express ourselves and to listen more deeply to our partner. Intimacy requires us to become vulnerable to one another. For men, that sometimes seems contrary to everything they’ve learned about how to lead life. The paradox is: we actually become safer when we disarm and open ourselves to our beloved, because he is more likely to disarm and open himself.


Communicating in ways that enhance intimacy requires us to try something new. Let’s try an exercise to deepen your ability to communicate with your partner. Pick a time during the week when you and your partner can both commit to being present with one another, face to face, without distractions. (Turn off the television. If the phone rings, let the answering machine pick it up.) There is no rush……

Start by relaxing for a moment. Maybe it has been a long day. Close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths. Relax. Notice what is going on inside of you. Notice sensations. What are you feeling? Remember that many emotions are a combination of one or more of sad, mad, glad and scared. Are you feeling sad about anything? Angry? Excited, eager or happy? Anxious or scared?


Open your eyes. Decide which of you will share first. The partner who goes first has 5 minutes to talk about what he is feeling without interruption. The listening partner does just one thing – listen. (Don’t confuse listening with eagerly waiting your turn to speak! Give this man your undivided attention.) If you are listening and you are not sure of what your partner is saying, ask him if he could please clarify a bit. Do not give interpretations of what he seems to be feeling, or why he might be feeling something. Just listen.
At the end of 5 minutes, the partner who has listened tells the speaking partner what he heard him speak about his feelings. Again, don’t interpret; the goal is just to make certain that you heard him correctly. The goal is to restate you partner’s feelings without just parroting them back to him. The speaking partner may respond, “Yes, that’s what I was feeling all right.” Or he may respond with “No, I was actually feeling more…” If he restates the feelings, the listening partner will again tell him what he heard. This goes on until the partner who has spoken is satisfied that he’s been heard accurately. Then switch the listening and speaking roles so that the other partner has 5 minutes to speak about his feelings.


This can feel a bit awkward at first, like learning new dance steps. Notice if there are places you get stuck. When you were speaking, did you tell your partner the truth about what you were feeling? If you held something back, why do you think you might have done that? If you had trouble as the listener identifying your partner’s feelings, was it that he wasn’t being clear, or did you find yourself getting distracted by the “internal conversation” inside your own head or heart? Did you find yourself getting defensive and wanting to argue instead of simply listen?

Doing this every week for three months will pay you big dividends in learning more about expressing yourself and listening to the other. You’ll find yourself drawing closer to your partner. Good for you!

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?


Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!
Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Sign-up now: www.gaydatingsolutions.com
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Gay Advice: How to Leave a Toxic Relationship

When you’re in the middle of a toxic relationship with a man you feel invested in, it can be very, very difficult to get out of that relationship. Not only will emotional ties prevent you from feeling you can live without your current man, but logistical difficulties (such as intertwined finances and living together) can make a breakup seem truly impossible.
If you need to get out of a toxic relationship, follow these steps:


1. Reconnect with friends and family.

 Few things will socially isolate you as effectively as being in a toxic relationship. Bad boyfriends and husbands have a habit of monopolizing their partner’s time, controlling their activities, and generally making it difficult for them to remain connected with their loved ones.
Embedding yourself once more into those loving social circles is necessary if you’re going to get out of your toxic relationship. Your friends and family will support your decision, they will provide you with the emotional assurance you need to feel that you can live on your own again, and they will provide you with safe spaces to stay throughout the process, especially if it involves moving out of your current living situation.

“If you’re upfront with all the men you meet,
you’ll find most of them will totally understand.”


2. Make it clear that you’re unhappy.

 There’s a good chance your man won’t have any idea you want to leave him. To prevent the split from feeling too shocking, make sure he knows well beforehand that you’re not happy in the relationship and you’re thinking of ending it.
Most relatively healthy breakups take weeks, if not months, to play out. This timeline gives you and your man time to acclimate to the idea of being apart, to begin to take care of the logistical elements of your split, and to generally exit on as mutual terms as possible.
Unless you live within a truly abusive relationship where your safety is at stake, it’s better to end things gradually and mutually than to incur the karma of a sudden, unexpected split.


3. Don’t remain friends.

 If you and your man travel in similar social circles, then act friendly and civil towards him, but do NOT entertain the thought of remaining close friends. Not yet, at least.
You need time and space to reconfigure your feelings toward him, to process a lot of the negativity, resentment, or just plain boredom you accumulated with him, and to figure out who you are without him acting as a serious pillar within your life.
Aside from your personal needs, you and your man’s relationship needs this space to determine what form it will take now that you’re no longer lovers and never will be again.


4. Date new people.

 Following the end of a toxic relationship, there’s nothing healthier than meeting and dating a lot of new people.
Jumping into a new serious relationship all but guarantees total failure. Casually dating a lot of new people after a serious breakup gives you the ability to reset your expectations and to explore what sort of man you might want to date next.
Don’t worry about the morality of being a little more promiscuous or uncommitted than you’re accustomed to. If you’re upfront with all the men you meet, you’ll find most of them will totally understand and will be more than open to providing you your new needs.
Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?
 
Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!
Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!
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It’s Time To Break Up: 10 Warning Signs You Shouldn’t Ignore

I like to imagine life as a really big roadmap. Our lives intersect at many different times as we travel up and about towards our destiny. Sometimes we find a special someone to travel with along the way, but more often than not our journeys have no choice but to detach and go our own separate ways not because we weren’t good travel companions, but because our destinations are different.

If our lives were written on a road map, there would be a hell of a lot of scribbles. We’re consistently moving and growing, migrating here and there and everywhere; and if we’re lucky enough we find a special man that helps make the ride much more enjoyable. More often than not, however, we become too comfortable with our companion that it’s hard to sense when it’s time to let go. If we don’t allow ourselves to see it, we lose our sense of direction and forget where it is we’re going. Here are a few major signs that might help:

#1) He laughs when you’re uncomfortable.
I once dated a guy whose idea of humor was to make me as uncomfortable as possible. He’d love hanging over the roof pretending to lose his balance or letting go of the steering wheel while he was going 70 miles per hour. His personal favorite was to bring up topics he knew were my hot-button issues simply to push the envelope and get a reaction from me. This is NEVER okay.
When your boyfriend’s idea of humor is to make you uncomfortable, not only is it rude and disrespectful but it’s also a testament to how much he regards your feelings. The second you let him get away with these things, he’ll quickly move towards more traumatic efforts of gaining attention. It’s totally immature and will do nothing but bring you down. Kick his ass to the curb!

#2) He doesn’t defend you publicly.
This is a major sign of virtue and honor. I remember dating a guy in high school who was very discreet. We’d make out in the locker room after the coaches and players had left but when we were in public, he’d act like he didn’t know me. One day I was walking to class and a couple of assholes started teasing me about something. I saw him across the hall watching the whole thing and much to my surprise he walked away and said nothing. That was the end of that.
A couple years later, I was in college and started dating a man I’d met in my philosophy class. One afternoon we were in the mess and a guy next to me in line called me a faggot. I started to fight back of course, but my boyfriend intervened. I saw it affect him just as much as it affected me and the next thing I knew, he had pushed the guy so hard he fell to the ground and spilled his entire bowl of nachos on his Ed Hardy t-shirt. I never felt so loved in my entire life.
Even though I knew I could defend myself, it felt nice knowing that another person had my back, even if I wasn’t present. I can’t stand hearing someone gossiping behind a guy’s back and seeing that man’s boyfriend say nothing to defend him. Being there for each other means protecting each other, even if deep down you think they’re wrong. You need to have each other’s back. If not, the trust will eventually whither away. And believe me, the truth will always reveal itself.

#3) You keep trying to convince yourself how much you love him.
Stop pacing your apartment repeating, “I love him. I love him. I love him. I love him…” You can’t hypnotize yourself into loving someone. You either do or you don’t and the longer you try to force it, the crazier you’re going to be. Sometimes love arrives so quickly but when it leaves, it goes away much slower, making us question everything we knew about the relationship. If you’re finding yourself obsessing over whether you love him or not, I say push the intellect aside and start listening to your heart. It speaks a language impossible to be translated from words. Try knowing rather than thinking… you’ll probably be surprised by the answers.

#4) You’re relieved when he’s away.
If he goes away on a trip and you’re totally relieved it doesn’t mean you don’t love him, but it might mean he’s suppressing you inside a box. It’s as if the time you spend together conflicts with the things you really want to be doing. You might see him as a hindrance that gets in the way of your progress. This is always a bad sign because a boyfriend should never keep you from being the guy you want to be. Quite the contrary, he should help you be who you want to be.

#5) You’re scared to confront him about things.
When you go out on a date or when he comes home from work, how long does it take before you’re scared of him? Do you hesitate when trying to defend yourself? Do you feel like you walk on eggshells too scared to see how he’ll react otherwise? If so, you’re not in a relationship. You’re in a dictatorship. A boyfriend is not your master nor is he the controller of your life. You both should be working together towards a better relationship. It’s time to pull the plug before things get worse.

#6) He’s not willing to compromise anything with you.
It’s his way or the high way when either making collective decisions or showing intimacy. If he doesn’t reciprocate in the bedroom, trust me, it’s a sign. If he doesn’t share the popcorn at the movie theater, believe me, it’s a sign. When he never offers to split the check, share the umbrella, or take the trash out, yes, it’s a sign. It’s a representation of who he is. Even though these things are physical or practical, it’s a reflection on how he shares his emotional life as well. It’s not just the popcorn we’re talking about. It’s the commitments, the love and the respect he’s not willing to share too.

#7) Public PDA is strangely awkward.
When people hold hands in public it’s to validate the relationship. They’re basically saying, “Hey world! I’m taken, and it feels good.” Being in a gay relationship is difficult sometimes because there is pressure of public opinion. There are always going to be people staring at us, but when the foundation is strong there is no need to feel awkward. But try and understand the difference between social awkwardness and inner awkwardness. One is tied to pleasing the world and the other is tied to being disingenuous. The latter is a major sign to look out for.

#8) Passion has turned into resentment.
Passion is powerful because it shifts into many different emotions with just as much power as it had before. The tension will be the same but the intention is different. When we fall head over heels for someone, we go big or go home. The passion becomes the knot and it’s difficult to untie, so instead of diminishing it we mold it into something different the second we feel threatened or disheveled. Our man becomes the punching bag so to speak, and resentment starts building over every little blame you throw his way. It’s best to step away and let it diminish before it takes hold of you and changes your outlook on everything.

#9) You feel him judging you when you’re naked.
Your man is supposed to be the guy who doesn’t judge you when you’re naked. If you can’t feel sexy with him, trust me it’s a major sign. But be wary of this. Don’t confuse your own insecurities with how you think he feels. He might be telling you ever night how hot you are, but if you refuse to listen, of course you’re going to think he’s judging you. Know what the truth is before you jump to conclusions.

#10) He talks about other men constantly.
Nothing is more disconcerting than listening to your boyfriend rave about how hot other guys are. A little story from time to time is okay, but I think we all know where to draw the line. When your man doesn’t seem to have a filter, it’s pretty clear that he’s talking out his fantasies. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather keep my mans imagination in bed with me where it belongs. It’s just a matter of time before the penis meets the brain where it’s at.





Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?
 
Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!
Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Sign-up now: www.gaydatingsolutions.com
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7 Damaging Relationship Myths — Debunked!

When you think a relationship should be a certain way, and yours isn’t, frustration sets in. And frustration is the number one thing that eats away at a relationship, and it’s directly tied to these myths.
The problem with persistent myths is that they can erode a relationship’s happiness, that’s why it’s so critical to bust the below misconceptions. So without further ado, here are eight myths about relationships that might surprise you:

1. Myth: A good relationship means that you don’t have to work at it.
Fact: The strongest most enduring relationships take lots of hard work.
A healthy relationship is like a good garden. It’s a beautiful thing but you wouldn’t expect it to thrive without a whole lot of labor and TLC.
But how do you know if you’re working too hard on a relationship? One sign is if you’re feeling unhappy more than you’re happy. In other words, are you spending more time tending to the relationship and keeping it afloat than enjoying it?
This unhappiness becomes less of a rough patch, and more like the “normal state of affairs.”
Another bad sign is if you’re trying hard to make improvements and changes, but you don’t see the same level of effort on your partner’s part. There has to be some sense of ‘we’re trying really hard, both making changes and that’s making a difference.
On the flip side, if both of you are trying and you can see positive changes being made at least some of the time, then that’s a good sign.

2. Myth: If partners really love each other, they know each other’s needs and feelings.
Fact: It’s a setup to expect your partner to be able to read your mind — because when you anticipate that your partner will know your wants, that’s essentially what you’re doing. We develop this expectation as kids, but as adults, we’re always responsible for communicating our feelings and needs.
And once you’ve communicated your needs and feelings, a better measure of the quality of your relationship is whether your partner actually listens to your words.

3. Myth: If you’re truly in love, passion will never fade.
Fact: Thanks to movies and romantic novels, we assume that if we genuinely love someone, the passion, urging and loving never go away. And if they do disappear, then it must not be the right relationship or our relationship [must be] in trouble. However, passion naturally diminishes in all relationships.
Daily routines are one of the culprits. As their responsibilities grow and roles expand, couples have less and less time and energy for each other.
But this doesn’t mean that the passion is gone for good. With a little planning and playfulness, you can boost passion. Passionate sex is a byproduct of sustained emotional intimacy along with a continuing sense of adventure and exploration and sense of playfulness.
And when it comes to passion-squashing routines, couples need to ask themselves: “How do we tame our lives sufficiently that we can make time for each other and have energy left for each other?”

4. Myth: Jealousy is a sign of true love and caring.
Fact: Jealousy is more about how secure and confident you are with yourself and your relationship (or the lack thereof). Take the following example: If you have a jealous partner, you might try to show them how much you care so they don’t get jealous. But you soon realize that any amount of caring isn’t a cure for their jealous reactions.
While you can be supportive, your partner must work on their insecurity issues on their own. No matter what you do, you can’t make your partner feel more secure or change their self-confidence.
Trying to make your partner jealous also can backfire.

5. Myth: Fights ruin relationships.
Fact: In actuality, what ruins relationships is not resolving your fights. Fights can be really healthy, and an important form of communication and clearing the air.
Also, the type of fight a couple has plays a role. Not surprisingly, nasty, scornful or condescending fights that leave couples resolution-less and not talking for days damage the relationship. Productive conflicts that help the relationship end with some mutual decision about how to manage this disagreement.

6. Myth: In order for the relationship to be successful, the other partner must change.
Fact: Many times we’re very good at the blame game and not so good at pondering how we can become better partners. Instead, we demand that our partners make such and such changes.
Unless, there are extreme circumstances like abuse or chronic infidelity, it takes two to make changes.
But even more than that, it’s up to you to figure out what you can do. While this seems “simple and obvious,” 100 percent of the couples point the finger.
It’s a profound mental shift to look at what can I do [and] what changes can I make.

7. Myth: Couples therapy means your relationship is really in trouble.
Fact: By the time couples seek therapy, this may be true, but changing this mindset is key. Most couples seek therapy when they’ve been suffering for a really long time. What elements were good in the relationship are destroyed.
Instead, people should view couples therapy as preventative. This way, a couple comes in when they’ve been stuck on one or two conflicts for a few months, not five or six over the last 10 years.





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The Rebound Relationship: Good or Bad?

Mr. Right Now is never going to replace Mr. Perfect…

Rebound relationships are common and always will be so long as love exists, which is forever. Casual hookups happen all the time in the gay community. When we’re going through a breakup, our smart phones are waiting for us to grab it and find Mr. Right Now to replace our ex Mr. Perfect. The result is always going to be different for different people, but the experience itself is the same.

You might be in a lot of pain right now and depending on your emotional discipline, rebounds might benefit you. But for the majority of hearts, rebounds are like walking into a minefield. You might think you’re safe so long as you’re in one piece, but all it takes is a slight minor of judgment to destroy your well-being. Here are a few pros and cons:
  • PRO: They’re fun & exciting…
  • CON: But it’s not going to solve the underlying issues about your ex-relationship. 

The last thing you want to do is postpone healing. It’s like pausing life. No matter what it will always go back to the same moment in time and relive itself if you don’t let it play out. You need to investigate and resolve the issues without putting a blindfold to it and pretending it doesn’t exist. That’s a cowardly way out. 
  • PRO: They remind you that you’re desirable and someone of value…
  • CON: But it will recreate a pattern of dependency, which you’ve yet to break free from.

Feeling valuable is one of the best things to receive from a serious relationship. Having a man to reaffirm our worth and potential to the world fills us with confidence we think will be unmatched. But when we lose the relationship, it’s as if he took our value along with him. We quickly search for another person to replace the void, which can quickly become a toxic habit.
  • PRO: They remind you that there are other men in the world besides your ex…
  • CON: But you run the risk of repeating the same mistakes.

So many guys out there think their exes were the only man they could ever connect with on that level. Meeting a rebound amidst their most vulnerable state can easily set them up to repeat the same mistakes that failed their previous relationship because they haven’t given themselves time to heal and learn whatever lesson they were meant to gain.
  • PRO: They give us a man (or a body) to release our manly urges upon…
  • CON: But it might be harmful to the man you’re having sex with, especially if he’s unaware that he’s “just a rebound.”

I’ve always believed that when you’re having sex as if you were making love, it’s easy to trick yourself into thinking that you’re IN LOVE. Rebounds, especially ones acquired early on, have a purpose to be a replacement love toy. Rarely are they just for sex, even for us guys. When we’re having sex with them, we’re imagining our ex’s face and comparing notes. Regardless of the fact, it’s difficult to treat him like anything less than a prop. This is never okay.
  • PRO: They give you an easy way to transition back into the dating pond…
  • CON: But if you aren’t ready, you can easily be taken advantage of.

When a relationship ends, it’s time to recognize where limits are and why they’re there. Make yourself ready before you throw yourself to another man. If it doesn’t work out, you’ll feel even shittier (and unloved) than you did before. Entering any kind of relationship when you yourself are in an awful mental state is going to be inauthentic and disingenuous. 
  • PRO: They can liberate and free you from being held prisoner to the ghost of your ex…
  • CON: But you slowly realize that he’s never going to love you like your ex did because he’s not your ex.

When you enter a new relationship, you’re never going to replicate the kind of love that existed from before because it will be a new kind of love. Every man is different from one another – we’re human, not clones. Entering a rebound relationship expecting to relive or be free of your ex’s control might work out in your favor, but more often than not it’s going to lead to sad realizations if you’re not careful.





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12 Powerful Habits of Happy Gay Couples

Habits can have a powerful impact in your relationship. The definition of a habit is: “a consistent and regular pattern of behavior”. You can either create positive habits or negative habits, and once you start practicing them, they will eventually become an act that is unconscious. When it comes to having a happy relationship, there are certain habits that can have a powerful and positive impact. It’s important for you to be conciseness when creating routines, especially for your relationship. You will need to make an effort every single day to practice them so they become second nature to you. It takes about 21 days to establish a habit, whether it’s positive or negative. In this article, I will share with you 12 powerful habits of happy gay couples. These habits have helped both my relationship, and for the gay couples that I have worked with. Implement each of these habits in your relationship and start reconnecting with your partner!


1. Always show respect to your partner

Showing respect to your partner is a habit that is worth creating, as it’s a necessary ingredient for creating a happy, healthy and long lasting connection. When you express respect towards your partner, you are expressing your love, acceptance, and warmth. When you express disrespect, you are expressing that you don’t accept your partner. Respecting your partner is all about valuing them for who they are, including differences. You may have a different outlook on life but this does not mean that you should disrespect your partner and put them down.
When you experience disagreements, make sure that you respect your partner’s differences. This does not allow you to disrespect your partner out in public or in front of friends and family. Always show respect especially when you have a disagreement. There will be times where you don’t agree on an issue and it will be how you handle this issue as a team that will make all the difference in the world.


2. Go walking with your partner

This is a habit that my boyfriend and I have created where we have noticed a deeper connection in our relationship. If you love nature and spending quality of time with your partner, make it a habit to go walking—either in the mornings before you start your day, or in the evenings. Michael and I walk in the evenings and Sunday mornings.  It is a mental decision that we make every day to go walking together. This promotes conversation, quality time, and exposure to fresh air. Once you establish this habit, your body will actually want to go walking. I’ve experienced this with Michael: Since we’ve made it a habit of walking in the evenings and Sunday mornings, my body craves to spend that quality of time. Walking with your partner also promotes good exercise, and can be as simple as walking up down your block and back. Decide with your partner how long and how often you would like to walk; the key factor is being on the same page and making sure that you make the mental decision to establish this habit together.


3. Turn off the television in the evenings and be with your partner

How can you possibly connect with your partner when the television is always on? There is no connection building when the both of you are constantly staring at the television screen in the evenings. Make the mental decision to turn off the TV in the evenings, and spend quality time together. Occasionally, you can snuggle and watch a movie, but avoid watching television most evenings. Take time to ask your partner about their day and how they’re doing. This habit creates connection and love. Snuggle up on the couch and talk with your partner; talk about each other and what the two of you can do to develop your relationship. There will always be something to talk about, whether it’s planning for the next vacation or your next date night. Focus on developing your relationship, and talk about issues that need to be addressed.


4. Bring your partner coffee in the morning

This simple gesture means a lot to my boyfriend. He enjoys drinking coffee, and bringing it to him in the morning expresses love and affection. If your partner likes to drink coffee in the morning, create this habit and express love through this act of service. When I bring Michael a cup of coffee, it shows that I care, and that this is one way I can love him. Wake up a few minutes earlier so that you and your partner can spend some quality time together before going to work. This is a simple yet powerful habit of happy relationships.


5. Express positive attributes about your partner to others

The habit of expressing positive attributes about your partner will help deepen the connection in your relationship. On the contrary, expressing negative attributes about your partner will only build a tall wall between the two of you. Do you know a couple that always argues in public and expresses negative traits about each other to friends? This is a bad habit that eventually destroys a relationship. This negative pattern of behavior creates mistrust, disconnection and lack of respect. Make a habit of expressing positive attributes to others. This positive pattern of behavior creates admiration, fondness and love.


6. Reconnect throughout the day

We have such busy schedules that connecting with your partner throughout the day can be last priority, but if you want to have a happy, long-lasting relationship, reconnecting with your partner throughout the day is crucial. It can be as simple as sending a loving text during your lunch break or giving your partner a call on the way home. This habit is meant to keep the connection and focus with your partner. Even if you have a hectic schedule, you can still make the time to spend a text message or give your partner a phone call. Be creative. Think of ways that you can do to reconnect with your partner throughout the day.


7. Speak your partner’s love language every single day

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Gary Chapman wrote a great book on the 5 love languages in which couples can express and experience their language of love and affection. When looking at these 5 love languages, take time to find out how you feel most loved and how your partner feels most love. Imagine you have a love tank inside of you. Every time your partner talks your love language, your love tank is being filled. Every time your partner doesn’t express your love language, your love tank runs low. When it comes to powerful habits of happy relationships, creating the habit of talking your partner’s love language on a daily basis establishes love, affection and warmth in your relationship.


8. Cooking and cleaning

It’s always much more fun when you cook with your partner. I know that I enjoy cooking a lot more when Michael helps out. The habit of cooking together creates intimacy, connection and love; making and eating food becomes an intimate act when you are with your partner. I express my love through cooking and eating with my boyfriend (with the television off), which builds a deeper connection between us. This is a perfect opportunity to spend quality time together.
If you or your partner prefers doing the cooking, make it a habit that the other person cleans. A habit that Michael and I do is that whenever I cook, he cleans up afterwards, and vice-versa. When Michael cleans up after I cook, it shows appreciation for my cooking and that he values me. It’s important that you always appreciate and value your partner, even if it’s as simple as cleaning the dishes. It’s nice to to know that Michael appreciates the love that I put in my cooking and wanting to do the dishes is a sign of love affection.


9. Express appreciation to your partner every day

Appreciate your partner! It’s as simple as that. However you want to express appreciation in your relationship, do it. Do it every single day. When it comes to powerful habits of happy relationships, it’s about expressing your appreciation to your partner. This can be leaving a love note before going to work or bringing home flowers at the end of the love. This goes back to speaking your partner’s love language. Find out your partner’s love language and express your appreciation for your partner through their love language. If your partner feels move loved by quality of time, make sure that when you get home from work, “Turn off” and focus your attention on your partner. Sit on the couch and just be with your partner. Whichever love language that your partner speaks, make sure that you speak the same language. Make it a habit of showing appreciation to your partner every single day.


10. Work together as a team towards goals (short & long term)

A happy relationship focuses on short and long term goals. These goals are both for each individual and also as a couple. Unhappy couples have nothing to look forward to in life. They just waste their time on superficial nonsense and trying to live up to society’s standard of happiness. Focus within your relationship on creating, establishing and accomplishing goals. Happy gay couples have goals that are both small and big.


11. Spend quality of  time in the morning to reflect and be with partner before starting the day

It’s easy to get into a training routine in which you wake up, eat breakfast, go to work, come home, eat dinner, watch TV, fall asleep and start all over again the next day. This routine definitely starts draining your relationship and the connection that you have with your partner. We have such busy schedules that it’s even more important to take time in the mornings and reflect with your partner. Focus on what brought you two together and appreciate that. It’s easy to allow stress, frustration and distractions to get in the way of having a happy relationship, but when you take the time in the mornings to love and appreciate your partner, you are establishing a habit that is filled with warmth, affection and care.


12. Snuggle in the mornings and evenings

Take the time to snuggle before starting your day and before going to bed. This can be as simple as holding each other in bed for a few minutes before starting the day. Did you know that physical touch releases a hormone called Oxytocin? The more you experience physical touch with your partner, your oxytocin level increases. After a long day of work, take time before going to bed and cuddle!






Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?
 
Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!
Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

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