Gay Couples Who Play Together Stay Together

Just as playing contributes to physical health for children, the same can be said for emotional health of gay couples!

Research has found emotional intimacy to be a strong predictor of happy relationships. Emotional intimacy can be increased in many ways and among them is shared leisure activities, or playing! When gay couples engage in activities together they cultivate connection. Participating in shared leisure activities can decrease stress levels in relationships. Learning to play together contributes to establishing an intimate friendship. Friendships involve awareness of one another’s interests, quirks, passions and values. What better way to cultivate a greater friendship than playing together?

Looking at children play seems to flow naturally from a young and liberated sense of being, full of imagination and free from the cares of the world. So how can couples capture the spirit of play in their relationships? Play can be incorporated by use of games, humor, or any leisure activity. The specifics of play are not as important as the spirit behind it. It is important that in playing gay couples experience a collaborative sense of lightheartedness that contributes to a fun and pleasurable experience.

Engaging in shared activities as couples provide opportunities to have fun, enjoy one another’s presence and reconnect

Playing together in this way provides an influx of positive feelings regarding one’s partner that can contribute to an overall feeling of optimism concerning the relationship. When the relationship is perceived in a positive light, couples are more likely to give each other the benefit of the doubt, experience less escalation in conflict, and feel less adversarial toward each other.

So where do you begin?

Pursue a common interest, go on a walk, pull out a board game, or let loose and dance in the car just have fun being with your boyfriend! With a long to-do list and busy schedule you may think you have no time to stop and play but putting aside your everyday worries and letting loose with your partner, even just for a few minutes, is a worthwhile investment for yourself and your relationship.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city.
Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!
 
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7 Relationship Tips That Gay Couples Often Forget

Once gay couples have settled into a relationship, things can fall into a bit of a rut. Routines form, the attentiveness that was present at the beginning of the courtship might be replaced by content complacency, and ultimately tensions arise. These simple gay relationship tips may seem like common sense, but you may be surprised at how often people forget about their importance.

 

1. Be Honest

Some people lie to their partners for years out of fear of hurting or offending them, but that can lead to a whole lot of ugliness on all sides. The one being lied to will know that something is wrong, and the one lying may feel more and more frustration about holding back and the relationship may end up suffering badly as a result. This honesty doesn’t have to deal with outright lies, but rather personal interests or preferences that may have changed over the years. Alternately, there could be some serious issues that really should be dealt with, but are internalized out of fear of hurting the other person. Ultimately, honesty really is the best policy, and a strong gay couple will be able to work through just about anything together.

2. Communication is Vital

Very few of us are able to read one another’s minds, so it’s important to express things that weigh on us, whether they’re positive or negative. Little behaviors that bother us can become more irksome over time, so it’s good to address them early, before the irritation accumulates to the point of anger. Similarly, miscommunications can lead to some pretty ugly arguments, so if you’re uncertain about something, try to discuss it calmly so you can sort things out: you may have misheard or misread something your partner said/did and taken it totally out of context, so clarify before freaking out about anything. Even though we may feel that we know our partners well after being with them for several years, remember that we all grow and change over time, and methods of communication must change along with us as needed.

3. Never Take Each Other for Granted

Be aware of every wonderful thing that your partner does for you, and express your gratitude whenever possible. This might be as simple as thanking them for doing the dishes after you’ve eaten dinner, or telling them how much it means to you that they make your coffee/tea exactly the way you like it. They’ll feel appreciated for the love and kindness they show you, and will express their appreciation to you in turn, so no one ever feels like their actions aren’t being acknowledged.

4. Respect Each Other’s Alone Time

Togetherness is important, but just as important (if not more so) is the ability to spend time alone. Too much time spent together can make you irritable, especially if you feel like your personal space is always being invaded. Time alone is necessary for personal reflection, growth, meditation, or even just quiet contemplation. Remember that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and you’ll appreciate your partner a lot more after having some space away from them. If you live together, it might be a good idea to have personal spaces that you can retreat to: either individual offices, or a garage workshop for one person and an attic library for another, etc.

5. Don’t “Let Yourself Go”

It’s inevitable that once certain comfort levels have been reached and closeness wins out over early awkwardness, some behavioral patterns will change. You might not spend an hour prepping before dinner to make sure that you look and smell good, or your boyfriend might wear the same pants for two days in a row without worrying about what you might think of their outfit. That’s totally normal, and really quite hilarious. That said, closer comfort levels don’t mean that you should neglect your personal hygiene, or let your living space fall into complete ruin. You know they’re not going to judge you if you leave pizza boxes all over the floor, but that doesn’t mean that you should. Try to keep things tidy and your appearance a step or two above “slovenly,” and your partner will undoubtedly feel that they’re worth making an effort for.

6. Admit When You’re Wrong (or When They’re Right)

This may be difficult for some people to do, but it really is important. If you discover that you’ve been wrong about an issue/bit of information/whatnot, own up to it: you’ll gain your partner’s appreciation and respect if you do, and if you don’t, you’re just proving yourself to be an immature, pouty jerk. Additionally, if you’ve been discussing something and your partner turns out to be in the right, acknowledge that fact: they may have been filled with self-doubt, and acknowledging their awareness or knowledge may boost their self-esteem exponentially.

7. Have Faith In Your Partner

Having trust and faith in another person can be difficult, especially if you’ve been hurt by others in the past. If you’ve been cheated on or otherwise betrayed by another man, you might worry that the same thing will happen in your current relationship, and this may cause you to imagine things or accuse your partner without just cause. If you find that your own insecurities are poisoning your partnership, talk it out with them and consider seeking therapy: they’re not the person who hurt you, so please don’t assume that just because one person treated you badly, everyone else will too.

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!
 
Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!
 
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10 Effective Tips to Stop Constant Fighting in a Relationship

Most relationships go through a stage where you and your partner are just constantly fighting. Seriously, you’re fighting all. the. time. It’s exhausting, it’s frustrating, and most of the time you don’t even understand what’s happening because the fights are so stupid. All you know is that you’re right, and he’s wrong. Am I right?
Some gay couples can get through this stage and come out okay – maybe even stronger and better than before! But gay couples can’t, and all that fighting ruins their relationship. Constant arguing is relatively normal if it only goes on for a bit, but if it’s nonstop, you need to do something differently. If you’re not ready to give up on the relationship, then you need to learn how to stop fighting! It sounds simple, but it can take work. Here are 10 Effective Tips to Stop Constant Fighting in a Relationship. Good luck and you’re welcome!

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Prevent a Breakup: Mistakes Gay Men Make in Relationships

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Straight, Gay, LGBT – We all want to have a great relationship but some of us just don’t know how to keep one. Here are some common mistakes Gay men make in relationships.

1. Open Relationships: While we may want to live interesting and experimental lives, the biggest mistake a Gay couple can make is having an open one. You would assume that what you have is enough to make it work, but when you feel like you need more than what you have, it borders problems. You and your partner risk the trouble of falling in love with someone else, having chemistry he might prefer over yours, or risk putting the whole relationship out to dry. While threesomes may be a bit more optional, Open relationships just don’t seem to be the way to go about things and is probably the number one reason Gay relationships don’t work. Sometimes when a relationship doesn’t work its time to move on. Don’t recycle something you’re not going to use again and use OPEN as an excuse.

2. Neediness: A common relationship mistake Gay men make is attaching themselves too much and too quickly. Even twins born together have their own ways of being independent. It is not your partner’s fault if you have had issues in the past with other people or family and it is not his job to pick up the pieces. While there is nothing wrong with loving hard, a Gay man must always learn to have his own voice, his own identity and his own life. If you worry too much about latching on, you run the risk of pushing your partner away.

3. Arguing: No relationship is perfect, and we all argue and disagree sooner or later. But arguing about everything can be very toxic. Stop using excuses about how “Strong” & “Independent” you are to win a fight. Respect boundaries, respect each other and respect space and opinions. While he may not say everything you want to hear, learn to listen and learn to understand. After all, you picked him right? Don’t say anything you’re going to regret later. Sometimes words hurt more than sticks and stones and sometimes saying things in the heat of the moment can result in losing someone you truly love. If it’s not important, let it go. If it’s something you can’t control, learn to vocalize your concerns and learn to keep it to the point. If you are hitting a brick wall, analyze your relationship and make a decision whether he is right for you. But never destroy your relationship with words.

4. Being With Someone For Comfort: (Money, Favors, Apartment) While there is no problem moving in with your boyfriend or sharing an account or money, there is a fine line between sharing and taking more than he wants to give. Don’t get in a relationship because you need stability and he’s your safety net. Learn to work for your own, earn your own and have your own things. There’s nothing worse than having a break-Up and you having to be out on the street because everything belongs to him. While some men may seem amazing at first, you quickly find out they may be using you as well. Be with someone because you love them, not because they can give you something of luxury.

5. Going to the club together: While many may disagree, this is probably the most common mistake a Gay man can make. A club is never a place to spend quality time with your boyfriend. While it may seem innocent and fun, Clubs involve alcohol and a bunch of hot guys (depending on what club you go to). And while you may say that your eyes are only for him, and his for you, there is a lot of distraction and a lot of men who are not afraid to flirt hardcore. Some men go to clubs just to find a man to fuck. If you are not there to hook up do not pretend like its for the music. Unfortunately, in the Gay community there are people who don’t respect what you have and while its all about trust, I don’t think you want to complicate it by having a guy shake his ass in front of you. A small bar or a more lounge upscale place is more convenient. You don’t have to worry about going to the bathroom and leaving your camera phone on.

6. Putting Your Relationship Status on Facebook: You might be that guy who feels like your boyfriend should definitely change his relationship status on FB to prove his love, but this may harm you more than it works for you. Why? Because you or your boyfriend may notice that your friend requests keep growing only because people want to know who this guy is. Some guys don’t care and will hit on your boyfriend even if it says In Relationship. Don’t ask me why they’re like this, but its a fact. Also, you may get upset when these sudden mutual friends leave innuendos or comments on your boyfriends timeline, assuming your stupid enough not to notice. While anyone would assume its all about trust, like the club, some men just have no respect or dignity. So some men are more attracted to what they can’t have or will do things to spite you. So prepare yourself. Sometimes its better to just not put up a relationship status to begin with and just trust your partner. Its up to you.

7. Not Allowing Your Boyfriend To Go Out With Friends: You’re his boyfriend not his master. The biggest mistake a Gay man can do is think he can control his boyfriend. While a lot of Gay couples don’t mind being on a leash and it works for them, some people just need space. This is where trust really comes in. If you feel like you can’t trust your boyfriend enough with any of his friends, then he’s not for you. A good boyfriend is suppose to make you feel secure and know that he is there for you not because you’re around. Same thing with Passwords and emails. If you can’t trust your boyfriend you don’t deserve him. He’s his own person and whether you like it or not, we’re in the real world. Unlike the club where you’re in a close capacity to horny drunk men, the world is full of different people, not all out to get your man. Learn to trust and to live your own life as well. Some things you can do together and some apart.

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

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10 Signs You Are NOT Emotionally Ready for a New Relationship

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Just because you want a relationship doesn’t mean you’re ready for one. I know what you’re thinking right now. “Of course, I’m ready for a relationship. It’s what I’ve been waiting so long for! I just need to know how I can get one started!”

Well, I’m certainly not arguing that you want a real relationship. I’m asking if you’re ready for a real relationship. That one’s tough to answer, because it entails really looking at yourself and your beliefs, attitudes and behaviors in a real, open, and honest way. And that’s never easy.
One thing I can tell you is that I’ve been there. I’ve been in that spot where all I could think about was how I so wanted a real relationship, with all of the affection, understanding, support and love that comes with it. And that’s when I asked myself this very same question and I realized that I didn’t like the answer. I had some major changing to do.

Are you ready for a relationship?
The ability to know if you are in a place to enter into a romantic relationship with another can be difficult to know. Let’s face it – love is complex! Perhaps a more effective way of knowing the answer to the question – Am I relationship ready – is to look at the warning signs that likely suggest you are not ready.
What follows are 10 Signs that strongly indicate you are not yet ready to be involved in a romantic relationship. Generally speaking, if three or more of these signs apply to your situation, it may support a larger mosaic of evidence that you need to work on yourself more
Are you ready? Let’s jump right in!

1. You keep attracting the same types of people who are unhealthy for you
If you have a history of entering into relationships with people who are unhealthy for you and keep repeating that pattern, what will be different in a new romance?

2. You are settling for someone because they are simply interested
Many people believe they must enter into a given relationship with another because that person is simply available, with no other prospects in the pipe-line. For obvious reasons, settling for someone because they have shown interest in you is not a recipe for long-term, lasting love.

3. You are hoping someone will “save you”
Hoping to escape your own emotional pain, you believe entering into a relationship with someone will save you from your emotional pain. In truth, no lover can do this for us. We can only create change for the positive by facing and ultimately working through our life issues – hopefully through insight oriented counseling.

4. You confuse love with obsession
Confusing love with obsession means that we instantly attach ourselves to another, even though we have not given ourselves a chance to truly know the person. Usually, those who confuse love with obsession attract mates who are emotionally unavailable. Characteristically, there is a pattern of obsessive love that is destructive in nature.

5. You feel you “Must” be in a relationship due to pressure
As mentioned previously, many people feel they need to be in a relationship with another because of family and societal pressures. If this is the case for you, it may be helpful to ask yourself the question: Isn’t love supposed to be organic? Can I really force love?

6. You want to fix someone
To a lesser or greater degree, all of us are co-dependent. Humans must depend on one another in the larger scheme of things in order to survive. With that shared – if you want to enter into a relationship because you need to “fix” someone, it simply isn’t going to work – not for you or the person you are interested in. The need to fix another is a classic sign of co-dependency.

7. You just got out of a long-term relationship
This is one that many may dispute but needs to be included. If you have been in a relationship with another for an extended period of time (3-years or more) and recently got out of it, there is simply no way you are ready to move on to a new one. It takes time for the mind and heart to heal. As a general rule, it takes at least a year (if not more) to work through the aftermath of a relationship that recently collapsed.

8. Your self-esteem is deeply wounded
Much of this point relates to other signs mentioned here. If you are in a place where your self-esteem is deeply wounded (aka in the crapper), you need to carefully think about your ability to function in a healthy, meaningful way in a romantic relationship. See point #3.

9. You feel sexually confident
This point simply means that you are not worried about “pleasing” your mate. In other words, your desire to become intimate with another feels equal when it happens, devoid of worry or concerns about “being enough” for a potential mate. In many ways, this means channeling the positive attributes of so called narcissism.

10. You don’t love yourself
We hear this term – self-love – but what does it really mean? It means being able to look at yourself in the mirror and accept who you are as a person. It means having the awareness that perfection is never possible and that you can only be the best person you can be at this exact moment in time. If you are not in this place, you simply are not relationship ready.
If any of the above sound like you, then you need to start looking inward and making some changes to your life in order to get yourself ready to be with someone else. The good news? Once you have these licked, you will be ready for a real relationship. And then you’ll be in good emotional shape to start attracting the kind of man that you want to be in a relationship with, and he’ll want to be in a relationship with you too.
Why? Because you’ll both be emotionally healthy. So, when Mr. Right does walk into your life, you’ll both be in the right state of mind, in the right place, at the right time. And it doesn’t get any more right than that.

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?



Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

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Easy Ways to Enhance and Deepen Your Relationship

Our relationships grow deeper and more fulfilling when we have the ability to express ourselves and to listen more deeply to our partner. Intimacy requires us to become vulnerable to one another. For men, that sometimes seems contrary to everything they’ve learned about how to lead life. The paradox is: we actually become safer when we disarm and open ourselves to our beloved, because he is more likely to disarm and open himself.


Communicating in ways that enhance intimacy requires us to try something new. Let’s try an exercise to deepen your ability to communicate with your partner. Pick a time during the week when you and your partner can both commit to being present with one another, face to face, without distractions. (Turn off the television. If the phone rings, let the answering machine pick it up.) There is no rush……

Start by relaxing for a moment. Maybe it has been a long day. Close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths. Relax. Notice what is going on inside of you. Notice sensations. What are you feeling? Remember that many emotions are a combination of one or more of sad, mad, glad and scared. Are you feeling sad about anything? Angry? Excited, eager or happy? Anxious or scared?


Open your eyes. Decide which of you will share first. The partner who goes first has 5 minutes to talk about what he is feeling without interruption. The listening partner does just one thing – listen. (Don’t confuse listening with eagerly waiting your turn to speak! Give this man your undivided attention.) If you are listening and you are not sure of what your partner is saying, ask him if he could please clarify a bit. Do not give interpretations of what he seems to be feeling, or why he might be feeling something. Just listen.
At the end of 5 minutes, the partner who has listened tells the speaking partner what he heard him speak about his feelings. Again, don’t interpret; the goal is just to make certain that you heard him correctly. The goal is to restate you partner’s feelings without just parroting them back to him. The speaking partner may respond, “Yes, that’s what I was feeling all right.” Or he may respond with “No, I was actually feeling more…” If he restates the feelings, the listening partner will again tell him what he heard. This goes on until the partner who has spoken is satisfied that he’s been heard accurately. Then switch the listening and speaking roles so that the other partner has 5 minutes to speak about his feelings.


This can feel a bit awkward at first, like learning new dance steps. Notice if there are places you get stuck. When you were speaking, did you tell your partner the truth about what you were feeling? If you held something back, why do you think you might have done that? If you had trouble as the listener identifying your partner’s feelings, was it that he wasn’t being clear, or did you find yourself getting distracted by the “internal conversation” inside your own head or heart? Did you find yourself getting defensive and wanting to argue instead of simply listen?

Doing this every week for three months will pay you big dividends in learning more about expressing yourself and listening to the other. You’ll find yourself drawing closer to your partner. Good for you!

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?


Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!
Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

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Gay Advice: How to Leave a Toxic Relationship

When you’re in the middle of a toxic relationship with a man you feel invested in, it can be very, very difficult to get out of that relationship. Not only will emotional ties prevent you from feeling you can live without your current man, but logistical difficulties (such as intertwined finances and living together) can make a breakup seem truly impossible.
If you need to get out of a toxic relationship, follow these steps:


1. Reconnect with friends and family.

 Few things will socially isolate you as effectively as being in a toxic relationship. Bad boyfriends and husbands have a habit of monopolizing their partner’s time, controlling their activities, and generally making it difficult for them to remain connected with their loved ones.
Embedding yourself once more into those loving social circles is necessary if you’re going to get out of your toxic relationship. Your friends and family will support your decision, they will provide you with the emotional assurance you need to feel that you can live on your own again, and they will provide you with safe spaces to stay throughout the process, especially if it involves moving out of your current living situation.

“If you’re upfront with all the men you meet,
you’ll find most of them will totally understand.”


2. Make it clear that you’re unhappy.

 There’s a good chance your man won’t have any idea you want to leave him. To prevent the split from feeling too shocking, make sure he knows well beforehand that you’re not happy in the relationship and you’re thinking of ending it.
Most relatively healthy breakups take weeks, if not months, to play out. This timeline gives you and your man time to acclimate to the idea of being apart, to begin to take care of the logistical elements of your split, and to generally exit on as mutual terms as possible.
Unless you live within a truly abusive relationship where your safety is at stake, it’s better to end things gradually and mutually than to incur the karma of a sudden, unexpected split.


3. Don’t remain friends.

 If you and your man travel in similar social circles, then act friendly and civil towards him, but do NOT entertain the thought of remaining close friends. Not yet, at least.
You need time and space to reconfigure your feelings toward him, to process a lot of the negativity, resentment, or just plain boredom you accumulated with him, and to figure out who you are without him acting as a serious pillar within your life.
Aside from your personal needs, you and your man’s relationship needs this space to determine what form it will take now that you’re no longer lovers and never will be again.


4. Date new people.

 Following the end of a toxic relationship, there’s nothing healthier than meeting and dating a lot of new people.
Jumping into a new serious relationship all but guarantees total failure. Casually dating a lot of new people after a serious breakup gives you the ability to reset your expectations and to explore what sort of man you might want to date next.
Don’t worry about the morality of being a little more promiscuous or uncommitted than you’re accustomed to. If you’re upfront with all the men you meet, you’ll find most of them will totally understand and will be more than open to providing you your new needs.
Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?
 
Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!
Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!
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It’s Time To Break Up: 10 Warning Signs You Shouldn’t Ignore

I like to imagine life as a really big roadmap. Our lives intersect at many different times as we travel up and about towards our destiny. Sometimes we find a special someone to travel with along the way, but more often than not our journeys have no choice but to detach and go our own separate ways not because we weren’t good travel companions, but because our destinations are different.

If our lives were written on a road map, there would be a hell of a lot of scribbles. We’re consistently moving and growing, migrating here and there and everywhere; and if we’re lucky enough we find a special man that helps make the ride much more enjoyable. More often than not, however, we become too comfortable with our companion that it’s hard to sense when it’s time to let go. If we don’t allow ourselves to see it, we lose our sense of direction and forget where it is we’re going. Here are a few major signs that might help:

#1) He laughs when you’re uncomfortable.
I once dated a guy whose idea of humor was to make me as uncomfortable as possible. He’d love hanging over the roof pretending to lose his balance or letting go of the steering wheel while he was going 70 miles per hour. His personal favorite was to bring up topics he knew were my hot-button issues simply to push the envelope and get a reaction from me. This is NEVER okay.
When your boyfriend’s idea of humor is to make you uncomfortable, not only is it rude and disrespectful but it’s also a testament to how much he regards your feelings. The second you let him get away with these things, he’ll quickly move towards more traumatic efforts of gaining attention. It’s totally immature and will do nothing but bring you down. Kick his ass to the curb!

#2) He doesn’t defend you publicly.
This is a major sign of virtue and honor. I remember dating a guy in high school who was very discreet. We’d make out in the locker room after the coaches and players had left but when we were in public, he’d act like he didn’t know me. One day I was walking to class and a couple of assholes started teasing me about something. I saw him across the hall watching the whole thing and much to my surprise he walked away and said nothing. That was the end of that.
A couple years later, I was in college and started dating a man I’d met in my philosophy class. One afternoon we were in the mess and a guy next to me in line called me a faggot. I started to fight back of course, but my boyfriend intervened. I saw it affect him just as much as it affected me and the next thing I knew, he had pushed the guy so hard he fell to the ground and spilled his entire bowl of nachos on his Ed Hardy t-shirt. I never felt so loved in my entire life.
Even though I knew I could defend myself, it felt nice knowing that another person had my back, even if I wasn’t present. I can’t stand hearing someone gossiping behind a guy’s back and seeing that man’s boyfriend say nothing to defend him. Being there for each other means protecting each other, even if deep down you think they’re wrong. You need to have each other’s back. If not, the trust will eventually whither away. And believe me, the truth will always reveal itself.

#3) You keep trying to convince yourself how much you love him.
Stop pacing your apartment repeating, “I love him. I love him. I love him. I love him…” You can’t hypnotize yourself into loving someone. You either do or you don’t and the longer you try to force it, the crazier you’re going to be. Sometimes love arrives so quickly but when it leaves, it goes away much slower, making us question everything we knew about the relationship. If you’re finding yourself obsessing over whether you love him or not, I say push the intellect aside and start listening to your heart. It speaks a language impossible to be translated from words. Try knowing rather than thinking… you’ll probably be surprised by the answers.

#4) You’re relieved when he’s away.
If he goes away on a trip and you’re totally relieved it doesn’t mean you don’t love him, but it might mean he’s suppressing you inside a box. It’s as if the time you spend together conflicts with the things you really want to be doing. You might see him as a hindrance that gets in the way of your progress. This is always a bad sign because a boyfriend should never keep you from being the guy you want to be. Quite the contrary, he should help you be who you want to be.

#5) You’re scared to confront him about things.
When you go out on a date or when he comes home from work, how long does it take before you’re scared of him? Do you hesitate when trying to defend yourself? Do you feel like you walk on eggshells too scared to see how he’ll react otherwise? If so, you’re not in a relationship. You’re in a dictatorship. A boyfriend is not your master nor is he the controller of your life. You both should be working together towards a better relationship. It’s time to pull the plug before things get worse.

#6) He’s not willing to compromise anything with you.
It’s his way or the high way when either making collective decisions or showing intimacy. If he doesn’t reciprocate in the bedroom, trust me, it’s a sign. If he doesn’t share the popcorn at the movie theater, believe me, it’s a sign. When he never offers to split the check, share the umbrella, or take the trash out, yes, it’s a sign. It’s a representation of who he is. Even though these things are physical or practical, it’s a reflection on how he shares his emotional life as well. It’s not just the popcorn we’re talking about. It’s the commitments, the love and the respect he’s not willing to share too.

#7) Public PDA is strangely awkward.
When people hold hands in public it’s to validate the relationship. They’re basically saying, “Hey world! I’m taken, and it feels good.” Being in a gay relationship is difficult sometimes because there is pressure of public opinion. There are always going to be people staring at us, but when the foundation is strong there is no need to feel awkward. But try and understand the difference between social awkwardness and inner awkwardness. One is tied to pleasing the world and the other is tied to being disingenuous. The latter is a major sign to look out for.

#8) Passion has turned into resentment.
Passion is powerful because it shifts into many different emotions with just as much power as it had before. The tension will be the same but the intention is different. When we fall head over heels for someone, we go big or go home. The passion becomes the knot and it’s difficult to untie, so instead of diminishing it we mold it into something different the second we feel threatened or disheveled. Our man becomes the punching bag so to speak, and resentment starts building over every little blame you throw his way. It’s best to step away and let it diminish before it takes hold of you and changes your outlook on everything.

#9) You feel him judging you when you’re naked.
Your man is supposed to be the guy who doesn’t judge you when you’re naked. If you can’t feel sexy with him, trust me it’s a major sign. But be wary of this. Don’t confuse your own insecurities with how you think he feels. He might be telling you ever night how hot you are, but if you refuse to listen, of course you’re going to think he’s judging you. Know what the truth is before you jump to conclusions.

#10) He talks about other men constantly.
Nothing is more disconcerting than listening to your boyfriend rave about how hot other guys are. A little story from time to time is okay, but I think we all know where to draw the line. When your man doesn’t seem to have a filter, it’s pretty clear that he’s talking out his fantasies. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather keep my mans imagination in bed with me where it belongs. It’s just a matter of time before the penis meets the brain where it’s at.





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7 Damaging Relationship Myths — Debunked!

When you think a relationship should be a certain way, and yours isn’t, frustration sets in. And frustration is the number one thing that eats away at a relationship, and it’s directly tied to these myths.
The problem with persistent myths is that they can erode a relationship’s happiness, that’s why it’s so critical to bust the below misconceptions. So without further ado, here are eight myths about relationships that might surprise you:

1. Myth: A good relationship means that you don’t have to work at it.
Fact: The strongest most enduring relationships take lots of hard work.
A healthy relationship is like a good garden. It’s a beautiful thing but you wouldn’t expect it to thrive without a whole lot of labor and TLC.
But how do you know if you’re working too hard on a relationship? One sign is if you’re feeling unhappy more than you’re happy. In other words, are you spending more time tending to the relationship and keeping it afloat than enjoying it?
This unhappiness becomes less of a rough patch, and more like the “normal state of affairs.”
Another bad sign is if you’re trying hard to make improvements and changes, but you don’t see the same level of effort on your partner’s part. There has to be some sense of ‘we’re trying really hard, both making changes and that’s making a difference.
On the flip side, if both of you are trying and you can see positive changes being made at least some of the time, then that’s a good sign.

2. Myth: If partners really love each other, they know each other’s needs and feelings.
Fact: It’s a setup to expect your partner to be able to read your mind — because when you anticipate that your partner will know your wants, that’s essentially what you’re doing. We develop this expectation as kids, but as adults, we’re always responsible for communicating our feelings and needs.
And once you’ve communicated your needs and feelings, a better measure of the quality of your relationship is whether your partner actually listens to your words.

3. Myth: If you’re truly in love, passion will never fade.
Fact: Thanks to movies and romantic novels, we assume that if we genuinely love someone, the passion, urging and loving never go away. And if they do disappear, then it must not be the right relationship or our relationship [must be] in trouble. However, passion naturally diminishes in all relationships.
Daily routines are one of the culprits. As their responsibilities grow and roles expand, couples have less and less time and energy for each other.
But this doesn’t mean that the passion is gone for good. With a little planning and playfulness, you can boost passion. Passionate sex is a byproduct of sustained emotional intimacy along with a continuing sense of adventure and exploration and sense of playfulness.
And when it comes to passion-squashing routines, couples need to ask themselves: “How do we tame our lives sufficiently that we can make time for each other and have energy left for each other?”

4. Myth: Jealousy is a sign of true love and caring.
Fact: Jealousy is more about how secure and confident you are with yourself and your relationship (or the lack thereof). Take the following example: If you have a jealous partner, you might try to show them how much you care so they don’t get jealous. But you soon realize that any amount of caring isn’t a cure for their jealous reactions.
While you can be supportive, your partner must work on their insecurity issues on their own. No matter what you do, you can’t make your partner feel more secure or change their self-confidence.
Trying to make your partner jealous also can backfire.

5. Myth: Fights ruin relationships.
Fact: In actuality, what ruins relationships is not resolving your fights. Fights can be really healthy, and an important form of communication and clearing the air.
Also, the type of fight a couple has plays a role. Not surprisingly, nasty, scornful or condescending fights that leave couples resolution-less and not talking for days damage the relationship. Productive conflicts that help the relationship end with some mutual decision about how to manage this disagreement.

6. Myth: In order for the relationship to be successful, the other partner must change.
Fact: Many times we’re very good at the blame game and not so good at pondering how we can become better partners. Instead, we demand that our partners make such and such changes.
Unless, there are extreme circumstances like abuse or chronic infidelity, it takes two to make changes.
But even more than that, it’s up to you to figure out what you can do. While this seems “simple and obvious,” 100 percent of the couples point the finger.
It’s a profound mental shift to look at what can I do [and] what changes can I make.

7. Myth: Couples therapy means your relationship is really in trouble.
Fact: By the time couples seek therapy, this may be true, but changing this mindset is key. Most couples seek therapy when they’ve been suffering for a really long time. What elements were good in the relationship are destroyed.
Instead, people should view couples therapy as preventative. This way, a couple comes in when they’ve been stuck on one or two conflicts for a few months, not five or six over the last 10 years.





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