Written by Joseph • February 1, 2018
Are you over 50 and thinking about trying online gay dating? For those looking to start dating again over the age of 50 it can be a daunting prospect, especially if you’re a gay man. Separations from long-term relationships and the loss of loved ones can leave us feeling unsure of how to proceed and […]
Are you over 50 and thinking about trying online gay dating? For those looking to start dating again over the age of 50 it can be a daunting prospect, especially if you’re a gay man.
Separations from long-term relationships and the loss of loved ones can leave us feeling unsure of how to proceed and questioning whether we should at all. But it’s never too late to find love, companionship and happiness, no matter what your age is! In fact more and more mature gay men are turning to online platforms as a viable way of meeting new people.
Singles over 50 should be encouraged by studies which have found that finding romance can improve one’s overall quality of life both physically and psychologically. Not only can a healthy sex life increase happiness levels, decrease stress and provide a decent workout but beyond the physical there are numerous other benefits.
A loving relationship can assist an increase in self-esteem and confidence this in turn helps us to make better decisions, experience fewer negative emotions and feel more optimistic about the world. Add to this the comfort and solace experienced when facing hard times with a companion rather than on your own and it’s clear to see why a relationship can have a positive health effects.
One of the advantages of dating online is that you can go at your own pace. But it’s equally important to ensure that your attitude is forward thinking and positive.
We’ve all had our share of negative experiences and many of us have been hurt in the past, but your new relationships are all about the future and should be approached with that in mind. A 2003 study by the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) found that singles aged 55+ one of the biggest problems faced when dating was “dating partners with a lot of baggage”. So be positive – in your profile and on first dates – this will engage your fellow singles and encourage them to respond positively to you.
If you’re feeling nervous about taking your love life online you definitely shouldn’t! Over 50s are one of the fastest growing demographics in online dating, and with roughly 34.4 million singles or unmarried persons in the US aged 40-69 you’re in good company.
Do you enjoy gardening or rebuilding classic cars? Do your politics dictate your worldview? What was the last good book your read, or film you saw? Potential dates skimming your profile are more likely to respond to specifics. Believe me, it’s a much better strategy than scheduling a coffee date and finding you have little or nothing in common.
If you’re not confident in your writing skills, reach out to a friend or family member for help. Just don’t turn your profile into Shakespearian-level prose that in no way reflects who you really are.
Tip #2: Get out of your comfort zone and date men who are different than your usual type. Your usual type hasn’t made you happy in the past so why will he start making you happy now?
Tip #3: Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right! Henry Ford said this about developing cars. Turns out it’s true for just about every aspect of your life, including finding good men and dating.
Tip #4: Post great pictures! Gay men are visual and they want to see you and your beautiful smile not pictures of your dog, the scenery from your last vacation or your favorite outfit without you in it. And skip the bathroom selfies. Trust me, no one wants to see your personal care items or shower curtain.
Tip #5: Online gay dating can be both overwhelming and exhausting. It’s important to take a break whenever you need to. Get back in touch with what lights you up. Once you do, you’ll feel rejuvenated and ready to date again.
Tip #6: Think before you post or respond. Are you looking for an occasional dinner companion, a friends-with-benefits arrangement or a marriage candidate? They’re all out there. The more clarity and candor you can muster (within the boundaries of good taste), the better.
Tip #7: Have fun and enjoy yourself on a date meeting someone new and interesting. Everyone has a story… your job is to find out what his is. Definitely makes a date a lot more fun!
Tip #8: Proceed with caution. According to the FBI, dating websites are often popular targets for scams perpetrated by offshore criminal networks and everyone is virtually at risk. These cyber-criminals create elaborate profiles on singles sites, often with glamorous photos. Their goal: to separate you from your bank account. Bottom line: If the interested party sounds too good to be true, he probably is.
Tip #9: Don’t take it too seriously! Keep in mind, the human condition is agonizingly funny. We all make fools of ourselves at one time or another. So laugh, flirt, and enjoy this time. You will never be younger than you are right now! Even if there isn’t that one grand love, there will be other things. With any luck, there will friendship, maybe romance. Find the humor in life and maybe you’ll meet someone ready to take the leap with you.
Tip #10: Sometimes, he’s just not into you – and that’s totally fine! Many among us have a hard-wired set of beliefs regarding how we appear to the outside world and what our ideal mate should look like, and we are disinclined to stray from our preconceived notions.
For older gay singles, online dating sites can be a great way to meet new people outside of your immediate social and business circles. Just let candor and common sense be your guide.
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