fbpx

Gay Men News

Bringing the Best in LGBTQ to you

The Breakup Letter Strategy

The Breakup Letter Strategy image
Uncategorized
Posted by Joseph on February 3, 2015
19 views

When you break up with a boyfriend, it can feel like your whole world is crashing down around you as you try to make sense of what’s happened, while also trying to keep yourself together as you go through this adjustment.
You are grieving, and like a death, you will likely go through the various stages of grief (shock/denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, per the famous Kubler-Ross model).
In an ideal world, both partners would sit down and discuss their relationship, “life review” style, highlighting their strengths and weaknesses and processing their feelings about what went wrong.
They would be able to forgive each other for any hurts and mistakes made and find a way to say goodbye to each other that would officially close the book on that chapter of their lives before parting ways.

A nice and clean ending  isn’t always possible.
More often than not, hearts are broken or the emotions are too volatile to warrant any further discussion between the partners.
We mourn on our own, a torturous internal battle that typically includes obsessing about our ex and craving for “what could have been.”
But to land on our feet in a healthy way, we must foster our own resilience and begin the process of “letting go” of something that has now become a part of our past, as painful that may be.
What you need now is time to work through your emotions and to redefine a new identity as a single man.

“The support and guidance can be
welcome during a difficult time like this.”


There are many strategies for coping with a breakup.
Keeping busy with productive and meaningful activities, spending time with your support network, volunteering for a cause, focusing on health, wellness and personal growth, etc.
I might also recommend the “letter writing” strategy as a coping technique for breakup grief.
A common intervention used by therapists, this “homework assignment” could become part of your journal or as a venture all on its own.
Basically, you would write your ex a letter detailing everything you would like to have said to him in person.
DO NOT SEND THE LETTER. This is for your own therapeutic benefit only and is intended to give you a sense of personal closure.
You could incorporate the following items in this letter:
  • What attracted you to him initially.
  • What worked for you in the relationship (positives).
  • When you began to notice things weren’t working out very well anymore and what that looked like (negatives).
  • Ways you were hurt.
  • Ways you yourself contributed to the problems in the relationship to take personal ownership for your role.
  • Why not being together anymore is in your best interest.
  • What you’re going to miss about him.
  • What you’re not going to miss.
  • What you learned about yourself and relationships as a part of your ex-partnership.
  • What your hopes for him are.
  • What your hopes for yourself include.
  • Develop a statement of forgiveness toward him and yourself and express a way to say goodbye to him and wishing him well.

Destroy the letter through some type of commemoration ritual.
I’ve known men who have thrown it away, burned it, buried it in the ground and tied the letter to the end of a balloon and released it into the air to symbolize “letting go.”
It’s usually best to process this letter with a therapist, since you can see some pretty powerful emotions can potentially be evoked.
The support and guidance can be welcome during a difficult time like this.
What are some of the coping strategies that you use for managing the grief from a breakup?




Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?
Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!
Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!
Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

Tags: #BigBankChallenge #BohemianKissChallenge #EqualityActJapan #StopAsianHate 2020 Olympics Aaron Schock Adam Castillejo Adam Rippon addiction ageism Aging AhTave AIDS Aime Wichtendal Alaska Alex Morse Almost Love America's Next Top Model American Medical Association Amy Coney Barrett Annise Parker Antes Que El Mundo Se Acabe Anti-Asian Violence Anti-LGBTQ ANTM anxiety Aptima HIV-1 Arizona Armie Hammer astrology At-home date Atlanta Atlanta Black Pride Atlanta Nightlife Atlanta Pride Atlanta Pride Run Austin Swink Austin Texas Backpacks for the Street Basel Abou Hamrah BFI Flare Bisexual BLACK GAY MEN Black LGBTQ Atlanta Black Lives Matter Black Love Bohemian Rhapsody Boston Boston MA Brian Sims Broadway bully Bullying California Call Me By Your Name Canada Capital Pride Capitalism Cason Crane Celebrity News censorship Chemistry Chemsex Chicago Chicago IL Chris Evans Christian proselytizing Christianity Christmas Christmas movie Christmas Movies Chucky Circus of Books civil unions Cody McCook Colorado Comedy coming out commentary compatibility Confidence Congress conspiracy theory Conversion therapy CoronaVirus COVID COVID-19 Covid-19 vaccine daddy Dallas Dallas Gay Bars Dallas Gayborhood Dallas Texas Danica Roem Daniel Harding Daniel Howell Date night dating Dating Apps dating rut dating tips DC Pride Dead to Me Denver Depression discrimination Disney Documentary Dolf Pasker Dolly Parton Domestic Violence Donald Trump Donna Price Drag Race drag racing Dustin Lance Black election Election 2020 Election Day Elite Employment Entertainment Entertainment news epidemic Fabio Fasoli Family family gatherings Film Finding True Love First Date First Date Etiquette first date ideas first date tips Flirting Tips Flirty Dancing Florida Fort Lauderdale Franklin Graham Freddie Mercury Garrett Clayton gay gay asian gay asian men Gay Atlanta Gay beaches Gay Boston Gay Chicago Gay Couple Gay Couples Gay Culture Gay Dallas Gay Dallas Nightlife gay dating gay dating advice gay dating app gay dating apps Gay Dating Solutions Gay Dating Tips gay discrimination gay film Gay Florida Gay Fort Lauderdale Gay Health Gay Holiday Movie Gay Houston gay kiss Gay Love Advice gay marriage gay marriage proposal gay men Gay Miami gay midlife Gay Mountaineer Gay Movies Gay New York Gay Nurse Gay Panic Gay Pride gay relationship advice gay relationship tips gay relationships Gay Scene gay seniors gay sex gay singles Gay Soldier Gay Travel Gay Twitter Gay Wedding gay weddings Gay Widower Gays Over COVID gaysian Gen Z Generation Z Georgia Gert Kasteel Ghosting GLAAD GOP Gorsuch Guy Vandenberg Gym Gays Haaz Sleiman Hallmark Halloween Hate Crime Health HGVT HIV HIV prevention HIV stigma HIV treatment HIV vaccine HIV/AIDS hobbies Holi-date Holiday Film Holiday Movies Holidays Hollywood Holyoke Homophobia hooking up hookup hookup culture Hot Vax Summer House Hunters Houston Texas Houston TX Hulu Ian Jordan Indya Moore Instagay Instagram intersex Intimacy Iowa Iowa caucus isolation It's A Sin Jake Gyllenhaal James Bushe Japan Jaymes Vaughan Jayson Conner Jeffrey Newman Jennifer Tilly Jewish Jewish persecution Joe Biden Jonathan Bennett Josef Salvat Jussi-Pekka Kajaala Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg JVN Jwan Yosef Karamo Brown Kristine Stolakis Lady Gaga Lesbian lesbian couple Let It Snow LGBT LGBT Travel Guide LGBT-Free Zones LGBTQ LGBTQ Asians LGBTQ Atlanta LGBTQ Boston LGBTQ Chicago LGBTQ Dallas LGBTQ discrimination LGBTQ employees LGBTQ Family LGBTQ Film LGBTQ Film Festival LGBTQ Films LGBTQ flag LGBTQ Fort Lauderdale LGBTQ Health LGBTQ Houston LGBTQ Miami LGBTQ movies LGBTQ New York LGBTQ NYC LGBTQ Pride LGBTQ retirees LGBTQ retirement LGBTQ Rights LGBTQ Seniors LGBTQ Victory Institute LGBTQ Youth Life Lifetime Lifetime TV Network Linda Warren lockdown London LGBTIQ+ Film Festival loneliness Love Victor Luke Evans Male Nurse Malik Brown marriage equality marriage proposal Marsha P Johnson Marvel Marvin Cortes Massachusetts mature gay dating mental health Mexico Miami Miami Beach Miami Beach Pride Miami Florida Michael Cashman Michael Henry Middle-aged gay men midlife Modern Family mormon Mr. Right Muscle gays music video My Gay Match NASCAR National Coming Out Day Nationwide Conversion Therapy Ban Neil Gorsuch Netflix Netflix Special Nevada New Year's Resolution New York New York City Nonbinary North Dakota Northern Ute tribe Nurse Appreciation Week NYC NYC Events NYC Pride NYC Pride 2021 Oak Lawn Obergefell v. Hodges older gay man Omander Omar Ayuso One True Pairing online dating online dating apps online dating tips online gay dating Online trolls Open Relationship Operation Hyacinth OTP Outfest Outfest LA 2021 Outfest Los Angeles Pan-African Pride pandemic Paper Moons Pat Robertson Pennsylvania Perez Hilton personality personality type Pete Buttigieg Pink Capitalism Poland Politics polyamorous polyamorous relationship polyamorous relationships Pope Francis Pose power bottom Pray Away PrEP pride Pride 2021 Pride Afrique Pride Flag Pride Month Prince Harry profile pic Puerto Vallarta quarantine Queer eye Queer Film Queer Films Queer Holiday Movies Queer Lawmakers Queer Love Story Queer Santa Queer Youth racism Rafa Olarra Rainbow Wave Reddit Relationship relationship advice Relationship Tips relationships religion Rep. Andy Biggs Republican retirement Ricky Martin rom-com Romantic Comedy Ryan Murphy Ryan O’Connell Samaritan’s Purse same sex marriage Same Sex Relationships Same Sex Wedding Same-Sex Couples Same-Sex Kiss same-sex marriage ban Schitt’s Creek Score Miami Score Nightclub Scott Evans Scott Wiener Section 28 self isolation self-care Senior Gay Dating Senior Gay Men senior gays Senior Prom Seven Summits sex Sex Education sex life sexual identity sexual preference sexual racism sexuality short film Shy Gay Guys Single All the Way single gay man Single Gay Men Single Gays Single Young Gays social distancing social isolation social media Social Security Somerville sports Stonewall Stonewall Riots straight men Super Bowl ads Super Bowl commercials Super Bowl LIV Supreme Court Switzerland Syfy Syria Tan France Television Tennessee The Boys in the Band The Center on Colfax The Christmas Setup The Eternals The First The Thing About Harry Threesome throuple TikTok Tom Daley toxic masculinity Transgender Travel Travis Shumake Trump administration Turner Free TV series Tweets Twitter Unconditional Love United Methodist Church US economy US Supreme Court Valentine's day viral video Virginia Washington DC Web Series Wedding Workplace workplace discrimination World AIDS Day World Pride young gay men Youth YouTube

Leave a reply

Related articles
image for Fox News VP Slams Olympics Team for ‘Darker, Gayer, Different’ Agenda
Fox News VP Slams Olympics Team for ‘Darker, Gayer, Different’ Agenda

And people are not happy Fox News executive vice president John Moody has slammed the US Olympics team for being ‘darker, gayer, different’. The executive editor at the conservative news channel has slammed the organizing committee for making the team more diverse. Reactions have slammed Moody for racism and homophobia.…

More
image for Download Gay Dating Solutions’ New Mobile Apps
Download Gay Dating Solutions’ New Mobile Apps

Without a doubt, gay dating in 2018 is an art form. If you’re a single gay man and looking for love, you know where the gay dating scene is. It’s online. But whether you’ve met 100 online dates or zero, it’s a tricky little business. There’s such a grand variety…

More
image for Single and Over 50: Is Online Gay Dating For You?
Single and Over 50: Is Online Gay Dating For You?

Are you over 50 and thinking about trying online gay dating? For those looking to start dating again over the age of 50 it can be a daunting prospect, especially if you’re a gay man. Separations from long-term relationships and the loss of loved ones can leave us feeling unsure…

More
image for What is The Best Gay Dating App for You?
What is The Best Gay Dating App for You?

There is no shortage of gay men to message and potentially meet up with online, as thousands of gay guys are hopping on and off different dating apps all the time. But what is the best gay dating app for you? At Gay Dating Solutions we pride ourselves on finding…

More
image for We Now Have Mobile Apps So You Can Use Gay Dating Solutions On The Go!
We Now Have Mobile Apps So You Can Use Gay Dating Solutions On The Go!

Love month is upon us!! Does your hectic work schedule prevent you from dating, but you still want to find your soul mate? Keep your love matches on the go and at your fingertips with Gay Dating Solutions‘ NEW mobile apps! Download today & feel free to share with your gay friends: http://appurl.io/jd0jaqp0 📱

More