Discreet Gay Issues and Dilemmas
Are you someone’s Dirty Little Secret? I’m sure every gay man at one time in his life had to be discreet. Coming out isn’t as hard as it used to be, but for countless of reasons unbeknownst to me, the need to be discreet is still vital. At the beginning,…
Gay Relationships: Is Bad Sex a Deal-breaker?
You’ve probably done it; you’re driving home late at night feeling disappointed – or worse.. Maybe you’re pounding the steering wheel and shouting at yourself. You just finished sex with someone and you’re sorry you did it. You know the bumper sticker that says that the worst day at the…
Dating Guide: Best Gay-friendly Restaurants in Austin
Although Austin is a fairly gay-friendly city, there are some restaurants where you’ll probably feel a little more comfortable going on a date with a guy. Since Austin is such a foodie city, most tend to seek out a restaurant that has amazing food. But if you’re looking for a place…
Gay Relationship Advice: Adjusting to Living Together
Reader’s Question: My partner and I just bought a house together. We are very excited about it and feel like it is a new exciting phase in our relationship. However, we can’t seem to agree on design choices for the house. Conversations about the subject lead to what seems like…
Boston’s Finest: Openly Gay Couple Joins Boston Police Force
Photo by Angela Rowlings Courtesy of Boston Herald. Two new lawmen now patrol the streets of Beantown. They’re young, they’re fit and they’re partners — as in, they’re a gay couple. But please, they ask: don’t call them “The Gay Cops.” “It’s not just here come the gay cops, that’s not how…
Dating Advice: I’m Gay and Fat
Reader Question: I am overweight but a great person. Men don’t want to give it a chance unless they want just sex or money. Why are men so superficial? – Martin B. ——————————————————————————————————— Dear Martin, Men tend to be more visually wired than women. Couple that with a hyper focus on…
“No Asians, No Blacks.” ― Picky Dater or Racist Dater?
Grindr will get you laid. And possibly make you a crime victim. But among all those muscled chests and sexy profiles to swipe through, it takes about a second to find one with “no Asians” or “no blacks.” That’s racist and here’s why. The offensive quip in a profile is mostly…
How to Beat a Boring Sex Life in Relationship
“I’ve got to beat the clock before we each lose interest.” Someone recently made that statement to me about his erotic life with his partner. His experience has been that erotic interest between two people dies pretty quickly, so you better get in as much sex as possible during the…
Best Gay Bars in Portland
Where can a gay man act like a gay man? Well, pretty much anywhere nowadays. Yes, baby, we’ve come a long way. But there was a time when gays felt most at home in bars, specifically gay bars. For decades gay bars were fun—and necessary—for men who wanted to hang out with…
Finishing Unfinished Business With Relationships
Some men are pretty good at dating, but seem mysteriously unable to close the deal and form a lasting and committed relationship. There are plenty of reasons why this might be the case; one reason is that we often have unfinished business elsewhere in our lives that keeps us distracted or…
Can You Ever Be Friends with Your Ex? Yes or No?
I often get letters from men asking how to go about maintaining a friendship with an ex-partner after they’ve broken up, and this is no easy endeavor. But it is possible! In fact, this scenario is quite commonplace in the gay community. When some of us feel disengaged or removed from…
Commitment, Intimacy and Vulnerability in Gay Relationships
Intimate relationships come in many flavors: dinner-and-a-movie dates that develop slowly into something else, dating one guy exclusively and becoming boyfriends, establishing something more permanent, perhaps as lovers or husbands or partners. Some relationships evolve hastily; others take time. Some men are comfortable “playing the field,” while others move so…