Gay Men News

Bringing the Best in LGBTQ to you

12 Potential Reasons You’re Still a Single Gay Man

12 Potential Reasons You’re Still a Single Gay Man image
Gay Dating Gay Dating Solutions Gay Dating Tips LGBTQ Online Gay Dating
Posted by Joseph on March 9, 2021

Are you a single gay man who is looking for reasons why you are still single? Have you reached a place in your life where you are tired of seeing all of your friends partnered or married while you are still sitting there, unattached and completely unhappy? If so, you are not alone.

For all of our wonderful qualities as gay men, our collective ability to date and be in healthy relationships with others has been a historic struggle.

So here are some potential reasons why you’re single, even when you’ve been actively pursuing committed relationships with other men.

You keep waiting for “The One”

If you are a gay man that keeps waiting for “the one” guy to come in and sweep you off your feet, you are going to be waiting for a very long time. There is no perfect gay man – or perfect guy period. All of us have flaws, including you.

You’re just not that into monogamy, and he is

Or vice versa. The monogamy issue is a huge one in relationships, and if the two of you don’t see eye to eye (or man to man) on “extras,” pretending otherwise will only end up with someone getting hurt. Maybe in the future you’ll arrive at a consensus, but until then he’s the one you can’t put into the equation.

You have a ridiculous checklist of needs

Are you a gay man who needs to check off a bunch of bullet points when considering a man as relationship material? For example, does the guy need to drive a certain type of car, make six figures, own his own home and so forth?

If you said yes, here’s a question …

How’s that list working for you? Why don’t you that stupid list and approach dating from the perspective of getting to know a guy for who he is instead of what he owns?

You’re trying too hard

There’s a weird irony when you’re trying to date seriously. You have to put yourself out there and be open to meeting men. At the same time, however, you can’t center your entire life around finding another man. When you do that, you put too much pressure on dating. Your whole wellbeing is tied into your relationship status. This makes it very difficult to actually date.

You fear intimacy

Many gay men fear emotional closeness or intimacy with another man. A fear of intimacy is often about not wanting to be in a vulnerable position where you could be hurt by another.

It’s possible as a gay man you have a painful history that may include discrimination, homophobia, bullying or rejection. A common way to respond to these experiences is to cut yourself off from getting too close to anyone to protect yourself from being hurt.

A fear of emotional closeness makes it difficult for you to develop a connection deeper than a superficial or sexual relationship.

To overcome your fear of intimacy, ultimately you have to take emotional risks with other men. And along with that is the risk you may be hurt.

Therapy with an experienced counsellor or psychotherapist can also help address your fear of intimacy and reduce your blocks to closeness with other men.

You’re needy

Guys love independence. They want to know that you have your hobbies, ambitions and interests don’t rely solely on his. Being his cheerleader is great and wanting to be around him as much as possible is a part of liking someone, but he’ll lose interest if you let your identity become a mirror copy of his. The best boyfriends and partners are ones that compliment each other, not fill each others’ voids. Thinking a boyfriend will cure the emptiness couldn’t be further from the truth. He can’t compensate for areas of your life that need your love and attention. Expecting him to will only lead to frustration and increased unhappiness. Besides, he’ll sniff your neediness a mile away.

You just haven’t met him yet

Social Media leads us to believe that the right guy is just a swipe or woof away. And in today’s gay-visible world you no longer have to shy away from approaching MrBubbleButt to ask for a coffee date. It’s also easy to assume that, since you’ve been searching for your soul mate for 6 months and are still alone on Saturday nights, there must be something wrong with you. But meeting men has never been easy, no matter where you live or whatever your age or what you do for a living, and meeting a guy who makes your heart flutter just doesn’t happen that often. Concentrate on, and love, yourself. That’s your most attractive trait.

You’re a downer

Have you been told by your friends that you are a bit of a “Debbie Downer”? Does it seem like you go out of your way to find the negative in a situation? Have you noticed that people who once used to hang out with don’t seem to be in your life anymore?

Here’s why …

Nobody wants to be around someone who is overly negative. If you are looking for a man to date, he isn’t going to want to be with a guy who is always sad, depressed and unhappy with himself. Think about getting some help.

You’re looking for love in all the wrong places

Grindr isn’t where you’re going to find love. (Sure, you might, and other guys have before, but that’s not your best option.) There are other gay dating apps more geared towards serious dating, as opposed to one-night stands, like Gay Dating Solutions. Additionally, there are other ways to meet men than outside of bars—although that is still a good way. There are LGBT meet-up groups and community service projects where you can meet gay men who have the same interests and values as you do.

You’re not moving beyond transactional sex 

It’s no secret that many gay man treat anonymous casual sex as a recreational sport or hobby.

Being highly sexually active or promiscuous is often a response to coming out – often called delayed gay adolescence. As a gay man you probably came out after your heterosexual friends were running sexually rampant. The desire to have a lot of sex can be a way of ‘catching up’ and a natural part of the gay coming out process. Plus it’s never been easier to meet other guys for casual sex than now with gay hook up apps like Grindr, Scruff and Tinder.

However, if you get stuck in this stage of lots of casual sex, you can start to believe that sex equals emotional closeness and intimacy. But the two are actually quite different.

Make sure you’re developing deeper relationships with other men – even if they are only platonic friendships, because this is the first step to developing a deep, loving relationship with another man.

You’re a B*tch

We get it, you’re fierce. But your lack of eye contact, standoffish demeanor, and chilly responses are only reinforcing the titanium wall you’ve built around yourself. You’ve done a good job using witty quips to mask your distrust and disgust for guys that have hurt you in the past. It stops you from getting hurt (again). Unfortunately, it also keeps everything else out, including people that are genuinely interested in getting to know you. Loosen up a bit. You can still protect yourself and show your supreme fierceness without pushing away strangers that could potentially turn into more.

You lack confidence 

Many gay men lack the confidence to go after what they want. And this really shows up when I see guys that are smitten with another guy, but are too scared to do anything about it.

Perhaps you’ve seen someone you like, or you know someone you would like to developer a deeper relationship with, but you hold back, making excuses for why they wouldn’t be into you. This is often an indicator that you lack confidence.

There are a whole number of reasons why you might lack confidence, which include your experience of growing up gay in a straight world, internalised homophobia, shame or lack of support when coming out.

To develop more confidence, it’s critical that you embark on personal development, which may include therapy, personal development courses, group work and reading self-help books.

Developing genuine and enriching relationships with others is also an important part of increasing your confidence.

It’s time to look in the mirror and face reality. If you are a single gay man who has one or more of the 12 reasons listed here going on, don’t whine to your friends about why you are still alone. You are doing it all to yourself.  Now you know the real deal. Do something about it.





Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you! Don’t get fooled by free offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a FREE 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Sign-up now:

Download our mobile apps:

Like us on Facebook:

Tweet us:

Tags: #BigBankChallenge #BohemianKissChallenge #EqualityActJapan #StopAsianHate 12 Dates of Christmas 2020 Olympics Aaron Schock Adam Castillejo Adam Rippon addiction ageism Aging AhTave AIDS Aime Wichtendal Alaska Alex Morse Almost Love America's Next Top Model American Medical Association Amy Coney Barrett Annise Parker Antes Que El Mundo Se Acabe Anti-Asian Violence Anti-LGBTQ ANTM anxiety Aptima HIV-1 Arizona Armie Hammer astrology At-home date Atlanta Atlanta Black Pride Atlanta GA Atlanta Nightlife Atlanta Pride Atlanta Pride Run Atlanta’s Queer History Bicycle Tour Austin Swink Austin Texas Austin TX Backpacks for the Street Basel Abou Hamrah BFI Flare Bisexual BLACK GAY MEN Black LGBTQ Atlanta Black Lives Matter Black Love Bohemian Rhapsody Boston Boston MA Boston Nightlife Brian Sims Broadway bully Bullying California Call Me By Your Name Canada Capital Pride Capitalism Cason Crane Celebrity News censorship Chemistry Chemsex Chicago Chicago IL Chris Evans Christian proselytizing Christianity Christmas Christmas commercial Christmas movie Christmas Movies Chucky Circus of Books civil unions Cody McCook Colorado Comedy coming out commentary compatibility Confidence Congress conspiracy theory Conversion therapy CoronaVirus Court Vox COVID COVID-19 Covid-19 vaccine Cubbyhole NYC daddy Dallas Dallas Gay Bars Dallas Gayborhood Dallas Texas Danica Roem Daniel Harding Daniel Howell Date night dating dating advice Dating Apps Dating Red Flags dating rut dating tips DC Pride Dead to Me Denver Depression discrimination Disney Documentary Dolf Pasker Dolly Parton Domestic Violence Donald Trump Donna Price Drag Race drag racing Dustin Lance Black election Election 2020 Election Day Elite Employment Entertainment Entertainment news epidemic Fabio Fasoli Family family gatherings Film Finding True Love First Date First Date Etiquette first date ideas first date tips Flirting Tips Flirty Dancing Florida Fort Lauderdale Franklin Graham Freddie Mercury Garrett Clayton gay gay asian gay asian men Gay Atlanta Gay Austin Gay Bars NYC Gay beaches Gay Boston Gay Boston Nightlife Gay Chicago Gay Christmas Gay Couple Gay Couples Gay Culture Gay Dallas Gay Dallas Nightlife gay dating gay dating advice gay dating app gay dating apps Gay Dating Red Flags Gay Dating Solutions Gay Dating Tips Gay DC gay discrimination gay film Gay Florida Gay Fort Lauderdale Gay Health Gay Holiday Movie Gay Houston gay kiss Gay Love Advice gay marriage gay marriage proposal gay men Gay Miami gay midlife Gay Mountaineer Gay Movies Gay New York Gay nightlife Gay Nurse Gay NYC Gay Panic Gay Pride gay relationship advice gay relationship tips gay relationships Gay Santa Gay Scene gay seniors gay sex gay singles Gay Soldier Gay Travel Gay Twitter Gay Washington DC Gay Wedding gay weddings Gay Widower Gays Over COVID gaysian Gen Z Generation Z Georgia Gert Kasteel Ghosting GLAAD GOP Gorsuch Greater Houston LGBTQ Chamber of Commerce grindr Guy Vandenberg Gym Gays Haaz Sleiman Hallmark Halloween Hate Crime HBO Max Health HGVT HIV HIV prevention HIV stigma HIV treatment HIV vaccine HIV/AIDS hobbies Holi-date Holiday Film Holiday Movies Holidays Hollywood Holyoke Homophobia hooking up hookup hookup culture Hot Vax Summer House Hunters Houston Houston Texas Houston TX Hulu Ian Jordan Indya Moore Instagay Instagram intersex Intimacy Intimacy coach Iowa Iowa caucus isolation It's A Sin Jake Gyllenhaal James Bushe Japan Jaymes Vaughan Jayson Conner Jeffrey Newman Jennifer Tilly Jewish Jewish persecution Joe Biden Jonathan Bennett Josef Salvat Jussi-Pekka Kajaala Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg JVN Jwan Yosef Karamo Brown Kristine Stolakis Lady Gaga Lesbian lesbian couple Let It Snow LGBT LGBT Austin LGBT Travel Guide LGBT-Free Zones LGBTQ LGBTQ Asians LGBTQ Atlanta LGBTQ Austin LGBTQ Boston LGBTQ Chicago LGBTQ Dallas LGBTQ DC LGBTQ discrimination LGBTQ employees LGBTQ Family LGBTQ Film LGBTQ Film Festival LGBTQ Films LGBTQ flag LGBTQ Fort Lauderdale LGBTQ Health LGBTQ History LGBTQ Houston LGBTQ Miami LGBTQ movies LGBTQ New York LGBTQ nightlife LGBTQ NYC LGBTQ Pride LGBTQ retirees LGBTQ retirement LGBTQ Rights LGBTQ Seniors LGBTQ Victory Institute LGBTQ Youth Life Lifetime Lifetime TV Network Linda Warren lockdown London LGBTIQ+ Film Festival loneliness Love Victor Love Wins Luke Evans Male Nurse Malik Brown marriage equality marriage proposal Marsha P Johnson Marvel Marvin Cortes Massachusetts mature gay dating mental health Mexico Miami Miami Beach Miami Beach Pride Miami Florida Miami nightlife Michael Cashman Michael Henry Middle-aged gay men midlife Modern Family mormon Mr. Right Muscle gays music video My Gay Match NASCAR National Coming Out Day Nationwide Conversion Therapy Ban Neil Gorsuch Netflix Netflix Special Nevada New Year's Resolution New York New York City Nonbinary North Dakota Northern Ute tribe Norway Nurse Appreciation Week NYC NYC Events NYC Pride NYC Pride 2021 Oak Lawn Obergefell v. Hodges older gay man Omander Omar Ayuso One True Pairing online dating online dating apps online dating tips online gay dating Online trolls Open Relationship Operation Hyacinth OTP Outfest Outfest LA 2021 Outfest Los Angeles Pan-African Pride pandemic Paper Moons Pat Robertson Pennsylvania Perez Hilton personality Personality Matching personality type Pete Buttigieg Pink Capitalism Poland Politics polyamorous polyamorous relationship polyamorous relationships Pope Francis Pose power bottom Pray Away PrEP pride Pride 2021 Pride Afrique Pride Flag Pride Month Prince Harry profile pic Puerto Vallarta quarantine Queer eye Queer Film Queer Films Queer Holiday Movies Queer Lawmakers Queer Love Story Queer Santa Queer Youth racism Rafa Olarra Rainbow Wave red flags Reddit Relationship relationship advice Relationship Tips relationships religion Rep. Andy Biggs Republican retirement Ricky Martin rom-com Romantic Comedy Ryan Murphy Ryan O’Connell Samaritan’s Purse same sex marriage Same Sex Relationships Same Sex Wedding Same-Sex Couples Same-Sex Kiss same-sex marriage same-sex marriage ban Santa Claus Schitt’s Creek Score Miami Score Nightclub Scott Evans Scott Wiener Section 28 self isolation self-care Senior Gay Dating Senior Gay Men senior gays Senior Prom Seven Summits sex Sex and Intimacy Sex Education sex life sexual identity sexual preference sexual racism sexuality short film Shy Gay Guys Single All the Way single gay man Single Gay Men Single Gays Single Young Gays social distancing social isolation social media Social Security Somerville South Florida sports Stonewall Stonewall Riots straight men Super Bowl ads Super Bowl commercials Super Bowl LIV Supreme Court Switzerland Syfy Syria Tan France Television Tennessee The Boys in the Band The Center on Colfax The Christmas Setup The Eternals The First The Thing About Harry Threesome throuple TikTok Tom Daley toxic gay relationship toxic masculinity toxic relationships Transgender Travel Travis Shumake true love Trump administration Turner Free TV series Tweets Twitter Unconditional Love United Methodist Church US economy US Supreme Court Valentine's day viral news viral video Virginia Washington DC Web Series Wedding When Harry met Santa Workplace workplace discrimination World AIDS Day World Pride Young Gay Guys young gay men Youth YouTube

12 Potential Reasons You’re Still a Single Gay Man – Real Gay dating

[…] post 12 Potential Reasons You’re Still a Single Gay Man appeared first on Gay Men […]

Leave a reply

Related articles
image for My Gay Match: Dating Guide for Young Gay Guys
My Gay Match: Dating Guide for Young Gay Guys

Gay relationships and socialization are already complicated by nature, more so if you want to be intimate with someone who you think is special. But don’t fret. This quick guide gives out gay dating advice for young gay guys out there who want to be more prepared.

image for Queer Things To Do in NYC This Weekend December 17-19
Queer Things To Do in NYC This Weekend December 17-19

The home stretch of the holiday season is bringing a selection of options for queer New Yorkers, including LGBTQ storytelling, networking, and benefit concerts.

image for This Adorable Same-Sex Marriage Proposal Will Melt Your Heart
This Adorable Same-Sex Marriage Proposal Will Melt Your Heart

A beautiful same-sex wedding proposal has gone viral on TikTok and Twitter for all the right reasons.

image for Best LGBTQ-Friendly Weekend in Washington, DC
Best LGBTQ-Friendly Weekend in Washington, DC

Make friends at a DC bar, take a tour of the city and delve into the neighborhoods with this weekend guide to LGBTQ+ DC.

image for Better Than Grindr? 5 Gay Dating Apps That Can Help Find Your Perfect Match
Better Than Grindr? 5 Gay Dating Apps That Can Help Find Your Perfect Match

Most online gay dating apps are a bit superficial in how you match with someone. If you want a different experience, try these gay dating apps.