Gay Dating and the Impact of Social Media

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There are no qualms about it…we live in a digital world now where technology is king and information and immediate gratification is readily available with the click of a button.

It’s even impacted our dating and sex lives.
In a matter of seconds, you can pull up a slew of pornographic images to what your sexual appetite or peruse a gay dating site to scan for potential matches with your cell phone or laptop when you’re on a break from work or traveling home on a subway. It’s that easy now!
But with this quick accessibility and push-button mentality, does it really serve the needs and ultimate prognosis for those single gay men who are seeking a soul mate for a long-term partnership?
Can you find love on Facebook? Is GayDatingSolutions.com and all those other dating sites the answer?
Let’s do an examination of the pros and cons of using social media in your dating efforts to see how it shapes up.

The pros of social media as a dating platform:
In a busy, hectic society when we have little time available to go out socially, if we live in a rural area with lack of access to a visible gay community and find it difficult to decipher who’s gay versus straight when out on the town, social media makes for a great leveraging tool to meet other single gay men.
While we are a lot more “out” and visible than ever before, social media has expanded opportunities for us to meet other men in a way we have never been able to before and has increased the odds of connecting with our single gay cohorts.
Social media has made it possible to get to know someone before actually meeting in person, allowing us to screen for compatibility and saving us time and energy in the process.
As long as this process isn’t too extended, this is a great time management asset.
It’s also a great way to break the ice and can be a good resource for shy guys to practice their social skills.
And let’s face it, it’s titillating! It’s another forum for flirting, confidence-building and revving up the excitement and anticipation of meeting.
But there’s also an inherent risk to this if you’re not careful, as you’ll soon see below.

“Avoid becoming dependent
on one particular dating platform.”


The cons:
Social media is more impersonal and less threatening than face-to-face interactions, therefore it makes one more susceptible to saying or doing things he might not in person and could sabotage a potentially good thing.
Social media has the tendency to accelerate the dating process (or cause it to come to a crashing halt!) if one isn’t cautious.
Because we haven’t met the guy in person to really see his true self, we can begin to build up a fantasy of him in our heads of what we’d like him to be.
Then one or two scenarios can happen:
One, once you meet him in person and the fantasy doesn’t match the reality, all the hopes of a match come crashing down and makes for a very awkward encounter.
Secondly, the fantasy can create an erotic charge that prematurely speeds up the relationship process.
Pacing rituals and the courtship process get thwarted because the connection can get sexualized and boundaries are more likely to get compromised.
What could’ve had a promising future results in a mere hookup situation because a foundation for a relationship didn’t have the chance to properly be established before introducing sex into the equation.
That’s why a great majority of the gay social networking sites are so sexualized. These businesses have capitalized on the fantasy aspect and are raking in millions of dollars because of their recognition of this vulnerability.
And research has shown social media has increased the opportunity and incidence of cheating and affairs for those already in relationships.
Social media can also make communication difficult. The written word in texts or chats can easily be misinterpreted and a lot of erroneous assumptions could be made that might sabotage something from getting off the ground.
Like attorney’s say, “Anything you say in writing can and will be used against you in court.”
Technology can be so easy and addicting that we might be more impulsive and reckless in what we say than we ordinarily would.

So what’s your stance?
Ultimately, you will have to make a personal decision about the role you want social media to play in your dating life after contemplating these (and other) pros and cons.
We are positioning ourselves for loss of human connection and social skill adequacy by relying on technology for our socialization if we’re not careful.
However, by exercising boundaries and good judgment, social media could actually enhance our lives and dating opportunities if used in the right way.
You’ll want to do your due diligence when researching various social networking sites to ensure they market to love and friendship instead of a sexual hookup-based aim if finding a long-term relationship is your modus operandi.
And in the dating world, it will be important to avoid becoming dependent on one particular dating platform to meet your needs. Spread yourself around to a variety of different venues so you have more reach, visibility and opportunities.
What has your experience been like with social media and dating? What are some of your favorite platforms that are truly relationship-minded?

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

2016 is a Great Year for Gay Dating

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OK, so we’re a little late. Happy New Year, and all that stuff. Now let’s get into something more exciting: gay dating. If you’ve been in a rut for a long time and you’re just not sure about getting back in the dating pool, we have one thing to say to you: JUST DO IT!

No, we’re not trying to mock classic advertising slogans. If you’re dreaming about Nikes, that’s your problem. We’re just here to remind you that the person looking back at you in the mirror is a worthy person, and somebody really craves a chance to date you. It might not seem that way — especially for our gay friends in small towns where it feels like you’re the only gay person around. Remember that you’re probably one of the few that have had the courage to stand up and draw attention to the fact that they are indeed gay. There could be dozens more that aren’t ready to come out yet. You should never force someone to come out in order to interact with you, but you can be part of their support system. That matters more than anything else in the world. You just need to make sure that you’re thinking about their happiness too — talk it out and see what stage they’re at. If you’re not where you want to be, seriously consider relocating. There are plenty of gay friendly places around that don’t cost nearly as much as you think. A bigger city can reveal more dating prospects.
If you’re stuck in a rut and you feel like you’re just never going to find the right person to settle down with, answer this: are you honestly looking for someone that’s worth being with? Are you looking for a real relationship, or just a sexual escapade to pass the time? Far too often young gay men confuse the two, and that’s not a good thing either. There is something to be said about waiting to see the relationship develop before you have sex with someone else.
You need to seriously consider dating again, because it has so many benefits. When you’re dating and you feel really good about a new person, it can feel like everything is right in the world. Sure, breaking up is painful but who says that the next relationship won’t last? You have control over that, as long as you don’t give up your control to someone else.
The more thought you put into your gay dating needs, the better off you will be.

Is online dating a good thing for gay men? We think so, but you’re going to want to make sure that you are being as cautious as possible. Make sure that you are meeting in a public place with anyone that wants to see you. Just taking them back to your room could be dangerous — you just never know what anyone’s intentions really are. It could be something that’s really dangerous.
You still want to hold an online date to the same type of standers that you would expect from someone that you want to date in your very own town that you grew up around. You want kindness, understanding, respect, dedication and dignity. That’s something that everyone else wants. There’s no need to feel like it’s impossible to do what you really want in life. 
Everyone deserves love and affection.
It can feel like a long road to honestly find someone that’s worth going out with. Hate to break it to you, but gay dating can be just as complicated as straight dating. Don’t think that just because we’re all gay here that there’s some magical fairy that will just put the right person into your path. You have to go out there and get to know people. Think about some similar interests that you might want to share with someone that. This is the key to finding what you honestly want. That’s the only way that you’re going to connect everything together. It’s tempting to just throw up your hands and say that you won’t be able to get what you truly desire. But you know what? Quitting doesn’t care about your sexual preference — can you really accept just closing the door on all of the possibilities?

Think about it. Good luck!

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

Dating Again? 5 Tips for Every Single Gay Man

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Being a single gay man is not the worst thing in the world. You have the time to do the activities you enjoy without compromise; you have the freedom to go on as many dates/hook-ups as possible; you don’t have to worry about someone else’s social media activity. But regardless of all the reasons you can come up with to feel good about being single, you may be secretly hoping that your soul mate is right around the corner. So while you enjoy the wonders of being single, here are the top 5 things every single gay man needs to do in preparation for meeting his other half.

5. Have a sense of humor
The gay man is known among his group of friends for his witty observations, sarcastic comebacks and brutal honesty. So chances are you already have a sense of humor, which will come in handy when you go on a date. Mainly because all single gay men will inevitably experience their fair share of weird, awkward and just plain bad dates, and a good sense of humor will help you recover from the disastrous dates. And also because a good sense of humor makes you attractive and fun when you meet a potential match.

4. Work on your physical appearance
Let’s be honest here. A gay man on a date will judge you by your looks. And you can’t blame him; he hasn’t had a chance to get to know your amazing personality yet, so the first impression he’ll have about you is the size of your waist and your fabulous outfit. Make sure you have a gym membership (and actually show up to the gym regularly), and also work on your personal style.

3. Be a good listener
We all know you have a talent to enlighten and entertain a crowd with your passionate conversation, but it’s also important to let others enlighten and entertain you with theirs. So, once in a while, listen to what others have to say and be an active listener. Being an active listener means that you stay on topic and comment on what the other person is saying. When he’s telling you all about one of his exciting experiences, don’t interrupt him with a similar tale of your own. Most importantly, don’t throw in unrelated remarks or compliments. If all goes well, there will be plenty of time to compliment him on his good looks later when the clothes start to come off.

2. Embrace solitude
Now we’re getting to the serious stuff. Before someone else can enjoy your company, you need to learn to enjoy your own company. There’s a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. We want you to embrace being alone. There’s a good chance that most single gay men out there take advantage of the vibrant scene the city has to offer. But after all the fun, don’t be afraid to spend time with yourself. Do activities that bring personal satisfaction and make you happy. Once you feel comfortable in solitude and know all the insights of your life, you’re ready for the number one aspect you need to work on to put yourself on the dating market.

1. Nurture the most important relationship you could ever have, the one with yourself
Frankly, this is the only one that truly applies to everyone. Having a good relationship with yourself is the foundation to having a successful relationships with others. Start by embracing your strengths and weaknesses, then work on connecting with your own emotions. This will help you become emotionally available to your future partner. And like any other relationship, you should have respect, trust and love for yourself.

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

Top Rules For Successful Gay Dating

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The words rules and gay should ideally never appear together in the same sentence. For better or for worse, I do believe in rules, if only because I want to know them before I break them.

Here in L.A., we are blessed with the gift of unlimited options. During the winter, we have the choice of heading to the mountains to ski , the beach for some sun or to the valleys for some wine tasting. When we order our dinner, we can choose the dressing on the side, gluten free, egg whites only, hold the bread please- option from the menu.
So, when it comes all the options in the gay world of dating, why do we often forget that even have options available at all?
For example:
We date a guy who is super hot- but has no job.
(or)
We date a guy who only wants an open relationship- because we fear of being alone.
And last but not least,
We date a guy who will (not) come out to his family and would like to keep your relationship a secret. 

All of these options are self destructive and can only lead to heartbreak. So why do we continue to sell ourselves short?  Are we incapable of deciphering the right and wrong path to take when it comes to the matters of the heart?
To help everyone out, I have decided that I will share with you my “Top Rules For Successful Gay Dating”
  • Rule 1. “Let Go Of the Past”

    Every gay man has stories about “coming out”, childhood, family, fear and broken hearts. These are things that color our past but often get confused with what defines us today. It is important to take what has happened to us in the past and use it as knowledge and wisdom and not for something that completely defines who we are and what we are capable of.
    Starting today… let go and create a clean slate in your life. This is so important to be happy not only in your life- but in your relationships.

  • Rule 2. “Be A Gentleman”

    There is nothing sexier to me than when a guy is well mannered. You can have all the money in the world or be extremely good looking- but if you are an asshole- that is all I will see.  So try holding a door open, saying please or thank you- “be courteous”!
    The art of being a Gentleman is long forgotten art and if you can sprinkle it into your life, it will become one of the most attractive things about you.

  • Rule 3.  “Be Chivalrous”

    They often say “Chivalry Is Dead” which I ninety percent agree with. So this is your chance to (as Cher would say) TURN BACK TIME!
    Be the guy who shows up to a date dressed up and not in a t-shirt. Be the guy who opens the car door and surprises their date with their favorite restaurant.
    All these little things matter, and they are important to having a healthy relationship. If you do not channel your inner Mr. Darcy, you will never win over the heart of a good man.

  • Rule 4. “Test Drive, Just Don’t Buy Car”

    We often talk about sex as gay men. How can we not- we are men. It’s in our DNA to be aggressive, alpha and sexual. But when it comes to deciding if we should put out on the first date- its best to slow things down or just be another statistic.
    Sure- sexual attraction is often overwhelming. Half the time I have been on dates all I can think of is how I want to rip the guys clothes off. But this mindset is once again self-destructive behavior.
    Im not saying you can’t make out or heck even do a little dry humping. But just don’t buy the car on our first test drive! If you want the relationship, hold off.
    It’s kind of sexy to build the tension anyway.

  • Rule 5. “Be Assertive”

    Last but not least, be assertive. There is no bigger turn off than a man that cannot commit to a timely follow up. If you like the guy- tell him. Plan the next time you want to see them.
    In a world with technology that enables us to communicate in ten different ways- there is absolutely no excuse to tell you date you had a great time and that you want to see them again.
    If you continue to be the guy who waits till Wednesday for a Saturday plan- you’ll be the guy alone till he is 80 years old.

Incidentally, all these same rules apply to when you are asking someone out (or being asked)on a first date too- so don’t get it confused. Assertiveness should rule all aspects of “committing” to your dating schedule.
Don’t be a flake!
Okay folks, there it is- my Top Rules For Successful Gay Dating.
I beg you to start instituting them immediately and I promise you they will change your love life. They are a simple start to a long-term plan we have to bring happiness back into your life and weeding out all the creeps that keep making their way into dating diet.
Have Fun!

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

Gay Dating 101: The Things You Should Never Talk About

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Dating is a lot of fun, but it also can be quite terrifying. We never know what’s going on inside his head, but we sure as hell can control what comes out of our mouths. Certain topics you might think are safe, for the most part, can end up sending you on a nosedive. Here are a few you should stay away from:


#1) Your Sex Position.

As much as you want to know if he’s a top or bottom, it’s not going to be very classy bringing it up on a date (especially the first one). It can be pretty tempting when you’ve had a few drinks between you, but try to keep the focus on building a connection that’s emotional.

#2) Your Sob Story.

No one wants to hear about how dysfunctional your family is, how your ex left you with nothing, or how sad or depressed you are because of x, y, z. The goal is to have FUN on a date, not make him (or you) sad. Keep the sob stories to yourself.

#3) Everything That Annoys You.

You don’t want to seem too bitchy at the beginning, so lay off the constant complaints about everything: the waiter, the food, your friends, the décor. This isn’t a reality show and you aren’t here to judge anything. Simply have a good time and embrace positivity.

#4) Yourself.

The point of a date is to get to know each other, sure, but there’s a fine line between letting him know who you are as a person and making it all about you: “I did this, I did that, I worked with so-and-so, I’m a big deal…” It can turn into a pitch real quick if you let it.

#5) Your Money Situation.

Money is something that shouldn’t be brought up other than a simple, “I’m comfortable” or “I’m still working my way up.” Frankly it’s no one’s business but your own when it comes to personal finances. More often than not we think it’s a make or break situation—if I don’t make X amount of money, he’ll lose interest, so I need to talk about it. Trust me, you don’t want to sell your bank account. You want to sell yourself.

#6) Your Failing Health.

Chronic illness sucks, but leave it at the hospital. Nothing squeezes the energy down quicker than someone bringing up their failing health on a date. It can either scare them away or make them feel incredibly awkward. There’s nothing to gain from talking about it.

#7) Your Exes.

Leave the past behind you, especially the men. Don’t bring up your crummy ex-relationship because it will only make you seem unavailable. You want him to know that you’re an open book and looking ahead to the future, rather than the past.

#8) Your Addictions.

You may have been addicted to sex, drugs, or pot. But wait a few dates before you tell him about it, especially the stories behind them. You might scare a man away if you tell him about the crazy sex encounter you had five years ago.

#9) Your Demands.

It’s okay to have non-negotiables, but for God’s sake at least wait until you know each other a little better before you present “the list.” He’s a man, not a customer service rep. Relish in an organic connection before you present a practical side of things.

#10) Your Corrections.

I’ve been on dates where guys feel the need to “correct” my wrongs. This is never a good idea. You don’t want to seem like a control freak, especially about small things like clothing options, restaurant choices, or how to kiss better. You’ll make him feel inadequate and judged. Leave it to yourself.

There’s a fine line between getting to know someone and digging a little too deep, so try to think before you speak. Don’t want to make him uncomfortable. Have you ever been asked an awkward question during a date? Are there any topics that would send you running for the hills?

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

College Dating Tips for Gay Men

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When you’re a gay student in college, you might feel like you have fewer options for finding a date compared to your heterosexual classmates. It’s true that there are certainly a few more challenges for dating within the gay community in college.
Some of the challenges with gay dating in college may have to do with the school you attend or the place where your college is located. For example, what if your school has a very small LGBT student population? What if you attend school in a small town with no gay bars? Meanwhile, students may also have to deal with prejudices or judgments from their classmates.
Whatever the case may be, don’t let those obstacles discourage you. Instead, be proactive about your dating life. The following are five ways for gay college students to improve their options on the dating scene.

College Dating Tips for Gay Men:

1. Join Advocacy Groups
One of the quickest and easiest ways to meet other gay students on campus is to join an advocacy group. Most colleges today have a Gay-Straight Alliance club, Gay Rights Advocacy Group or other student group that deals with LGBT issues. Check out which clubs your college has to offer and consider signing up. The more involved you get, the more you’ll get to know about the other people in your group to see if sparks fly with anyone. Being able to join groups with people who share similar interests or backgrounds is a huge advantage of attending college, so take advantage of it.

2. Find Gay-Friendly Local Businesses
Another way to meet other people in the LGBT community is to look for local bars, restaurants, cafes and shops which are particularly gay-friendly. This will be a snap in most urban areas, but you may have to do a little more research in smaller towns. The pay-off is worth it, though: these establishments are great places to not only meet potential matches – they also make a great location for a date.

3. Go Online
You can also put your dating life on the fast track with the help of online dating services. Students looking to use these sites to improve their love life will find that, although there are plenty of LGBT-only online dating services, some of the most popular sites among heterosexual students are actually just as effective.
You can also try GayDatingSolutions.com, which is a popular choice for gay singles.

4. Meet People Off Campus
One of the major challenges for some students is having a small LGBT student population at their school. For example, even at a liberal-leaning school like Rice University, less than 14% of students identify as something other than heterosexual (homosexual, bisexual, etc.). Therefore, you may need to venture off campus to find a potential date.
Try going to local gay bars or other gay-friendly establishments to strike up a conversation with potential matches. You can also join a group or club outside of school to widen your social circle a bit. It doesn’t have to be related to LGBT causes – just aim to meet new people. Even if you just make new friends, those friends may be instrumental in introducing you to other potential dates outside of your student population.

5. Pay Attention to Personal Interactions
Heterosexual students have it easier in many ways, but one of the most significant advantages they have is the basic cultural assumption that most people are heterosexual. As a member of the LGBT community, you probably already realize that a significant challenge in your dating life is figuring out who is straight and who’s not.
In these situations, LGBT students are advised to pay attention to the subtleties of your personal interactions. Strike up a conversation and make eye contact. See if the person you’re talking to is responding. It takes a little more effort to be hyperaware, but it could help you find a potential match in the place where you least expect it.

Quick Tips
  • The Campus Climate Index is an excellent source for locating information about various colleges’ records on LGBT issues.
  • Look for local gay singles meet-ups and other LGBT dating events in your area on sites like GayDatingSolutions.com as an additional way to meet potential dates.
  • Don’t forget to focus on the whole college experience, not just your love life. Take interesting classes, join sports teams and clubs and meet new people. There’s a good chance that immersing yourself in the college experience could lead you to an eventual romance anyway.

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

Gay Dating Advice: Can a Single Gay Father Find Love Again?

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Reader’s Question: I have recently joined a gay dating site but I’m not sure if my profile is an eye-catcher. I was married to a woman for a number of years and I have never had sex with a man. I’m now a single dad and have gone on a couple of dates but they always end the same way. They find out I have kids and they can’t seem to get away fast enough. My children are the most important thing to me and if it means being single the rest of my life, then so be it. But I can’t believe all gay guys don’t want kids. Am I doomed to singlehood?


——————————————————————————-
Finding a compatible dating partner can certainly be challenging, but finding a quality guy is always a possibility! For starters, it’s important to avoid defining your life around dating and to make sure you’re living a full and balanced life that you’re passionate about and that’s purposeful. It’s also important to take this time while you’re single to determine what your negotiable and non-negotiable needs are for a partner and a relationship to help you adequately screen dating prospects for compatibility and to also make sure you’ve got the emotional readiness to take on the responsibilities of dating.
Make good use of your gay dating profile to attract attention with a captivating and eye-grabbing headline that speaks to your personality, but you’ll also want to filter out those men who would not be good matches by highlighting your status (a single gay father) and other personal requirements you have in the profile of your ad. Another thing you could do would be to join a social networking site (eg. GayDatingSolutions.com); if there are no groups in your area that cater to gay fathers, why not be innovative and start your own? You could also start a social group in your community or create an online discussion forum for other gay dads for support and friendship that could lead to dating opportunities.
The important thing is to keep a positive and optimistic mindset, live your life to the max and put yourself in situations that speak to your interests and values where you might be able to meet other gay men. Don’t give up hope and recognize that there are a lot of gay men out there who think gay dads are sexy!

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

Gay Dating: Are You Dating a Psycho Obsessive Stalker?

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No one wants to date a psycho. The relationship will be frustrating, and even worse, you could put yourself and the people around you at risk. Unfortunately, there are plenty of nutjobs online.
It seemed like such a great romance. He was just your type and the mutual attraction was instantaneous. Dates were filled with laughter, stories, and a refreshing honesty. You were sure he was the guy you’d been looking for.
Well, eventually you broke up, and in this highly connected age that’s rarely the end of the story. During our lonely days and nights we wonder what the ex is doing, think about ways to meet the hunky new guy we saw at the gym, or just want to cruise online and see what handsome snack we might meet. And suddenly, without even realizing it, we become a dreaded psycho-homo.
Don’t believe it? The folks at Wet—that’s right, the lubricant company — took a poll to study people’s behavior on social networks. Check out the results:

Of the respondents…
• 29% admitted they never stop checking up on their ex using Facebook. 
• Over 20% said they’ve checked up on a crush’s whereabouts using a social networking site, and then gone to that location to “bump into them.”
• 54% have “friended” a mutual friend they haven’t met, simply based on appearance.

For those of you in a relationship…
• 34% worry about what their partner does online when they’re not around.

And for those you who don’t think there’s anything wrong with the above psycho-homo behavior…
• 32% were scared off by how quickly someone they met added them as a friend on Facebook.

While it’s no surprise that you need to be careful about what you post on Facebook or Twitter, these numbers show that keeping your personal info to a minimum (or blocking certain people’s access to that info) can save you from unnecessary drama. Indeed, it can mean the difference between moving on or feeling safe, and feeling like you have to move out of town.

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

Good and Bad Conversation Topics for a Successful First Date

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Ah, the first date. Where great relationships begin, or stumble into awkward, dead-end conversation. To have a great conversation you often have to ask an open question and then follow up to the other person’s response with statements. Try not to ask a reel of questions. Instead, ask a question; listen to their response and then say your own opinion.
Below is a list of potential topics you can have at your disposal should your mind go blank or if one of those horrifying moments of silence occurs. Beware, there are also certain subjects you should avoid so you will not risk offending him or making him want to bolt from the scene.

1. Do talk about your requirements for a relationship.
These first several dates are intended for you to screen whether the two of you have any compatibility to explore further.

2. Don’t interrogate the poor guy.
You can ask him what he is looking for in a guy and subtly ask questions oriented around your own needs without coming across too heavy.

3. Do talk about current events in the news or media.
These topics can add lightness to your discussions and are a good way to screen his knowledge and social awareness.

4. Don’t talk about something you don’t know much about.
You will come across as lacking in intelligent conversation.
If you are not savvy on current events, now would be a great time to brush up on the news to have an arsenal of topics and wisdom handy in case you need it.

5. Do talk about gay issues.
Is he “out”? How involved is he in the gay community?
You will want to screen for any possible internalized homophobia or values around gayness that might not be compatible with your stances.
If those values are both similar, how do you feel about that?

6. Don’t talk about monogamy and explicit sex acts desired.
The time will come to talk about these important issues, but they can be a bit heavy on a first date before you have had a chance to establish some camaraderie.
The same rule applies when discussing politics, religion and money.

7. Do talk about interests and hobbies.
You want to find out if the two of you share any similarities in activities for recreation and leisure.
Ask for examples about experiences and inquire as to what he likes the best about those things.

“Be creative and savvy in how
you go about your conversations.”


8. Don’t talk too much about yourself.
A balanced conversation between you and he is crucial for it to not feel like it is a one-sided date.
Be sure to have an equalized dialogue so you both feel like you’re contributing something.

9. Do talk about your passions and inquire about his.
Nothing energizes a conversation more than a person talking about something that is meaningful to them.
Ask lots of questions to show an interest and curiosity in what he’s talking about.

10. Don’t judge or minimize what he says.
You should never do this, even if it is counter to what you like to do. Validate the importance this passion has for him.

11. Do talk about family and friends.
And inquire about his relationships with them. You can learn a lot about a person by the types of attachments they have to people.
Is he close or disconnected to them? How does he speak about these people in his life — with adoration or negativity?

12. Don’t give a detailed history of your past dramas.
The more he hears about any family dysfunction, the more his eyes are going to be darting toward the door.
Try to save that history for a later time when you can gauge if you can trust him.

13. Do talk about your visions for the future.
What does he hope to be doing in five, 10 or 20 years down the road? Does it appear that you have comparable plans for the future?
Career, marriage and parenting might be something to mention here.

14. Don’t come on too strong.
Also, avoid agreeing with things he says just because you want this to work out. This can be suffocating and appears insincere at times.

15. Do talk about dating.
And talk about what you envision an ideal dating lifestyle to look like.
It can be funny sometimes to swap past dating horror stories, but keep them to a minimum so he does not get the wrong impression of you.
A long history of failed dating relationships could make it seem like you are a train wreck.

16. Don’t bash ex-partners.
This adds a climate of negativity to your date and could have him question whether you might talk like that about him someday.
It might also lead him to think you might be a negative person.

These are just a few ideas out of a plethora of topics you could choose. Remember, every topic and question you ask is designed to screen whether you and the guy sitting across from you have “goodness of fit.”
In closing, of all the first date tips I can give, the best one is to just be yourself. Be authentic. BUT, be YOUR BEST self. Offer your date the things you love about yourself; your passion, your heart, your humor, perhaps. Leave your past relationship baggage at home tonight.

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?



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Top Common Reasons Why Gay Relationships Work and Fail

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“Society desperately needs to see healthy gay couples functioning in successful relationships.”

Back in the 90’s, I worked at Linden Oaks Hospital, a psychiatric clinic in Naperville, Illinois in their outpatient department providing counseling to all ages and populations.We did a lot of work with couples and used a handout with our clients that taught them about attitudes and ingredients for having healthy intimate relationships.

I still use that handout in my clinical work as it is a great resource in helping couples assess their own relationship functioning, as well as to use it as a guide for developing goals to work on. Linden Oaks is credited for this content, which is outlined below. The word ‘relationships’ is being used instead of ‘marriages’, as was specified in the handout.
While written for a heterosexual audience, we can certainly adapt this information to our gay partnerships as the following content illustrates issues that are universal to all relationship styles. Hopefully you will find it useful as it applies to evaluating your own relationship for maximizing its success.



Top 10 Reasons Relationships Work
10. “Our relationship is first…not third or fourth…”
9. “We’re able to compromise…”
8. “He acknowledges and validates me…”
7. “Humor…we know how to have fun…”
6. “We’re friends…”
5. “We accept each other’s strengths and weaknesses…”
4. “Everybody’s responsible and no one is to blame…”
3. “We have a healthy dependence/mutuality in our relationship…”
2. “We can disagree without attacking…”
1. “We’re able to really listen and communicate with each other…”

Top 10 Reasons Relationships Fail
 

10. “We’ve just grown apart…”
9. “We’re just not in love anymore…”
8. “He’ll never change…”
7. “I don’t have any emotions/feelings left…”
6. “All we do is fight…”
5. “There’s just too much resentment built up…”
4. “We can’t work out problems with children…”
3. “There’s no intimacy or ‘fire’…”
2. “I just can’t trust him…”
1. “We just don’t communicate…”

Tips For Lasting Love
• Ability to solve problems
• Active listening
• Ability to express and validate feelings and needs
• Personal responsibility
• Love and romance
• Friendship
• Forgiveness

Adding ‘Gay’ To The Mix
Some additional factors that I might add to the list for making relationships work that are more specific to gay men in a couple include:

• Having solid self-esteem and comfort with being gay

• Both men being at the same level of “outness”; and the more “out”, the better to allow for more openness, relaxation, and honesty in all environments
• Having a support system of people who honor, value, and validate the men’s relationship as a gay couple

• Each man having his own individual identity, as well as commitment to a relationship identity to allow for more balance and vitality

• Having a clear agreement about monogamy vs. non-monogamy in one’s relationship and having an understanding of what that means and looks like and abiding by that faithfully

• Recognition that relationships take effort and work

• Having a shared vision for the future as a couple

• And most importantly, as in all relationships, communication is key! Productive conflict resolution is critical! Honesty is a must! The ability to be flexible is also important.




This article merely scratches the surface of what constitutes a healthy gay relationship. There are many ingredients that go into creating a successful partnership, but the topics discussed here provide you with a basic foundation of what’s most needed to get you on the right track. What’s important is that each couple defines for themselves what works best for them and what happiness and fulfillment would look like for them.
The above skills will help promote a working atmosphere to help the two of you co-pilot the type of relationship you’re seeking. Identify your strengths and weaknesses as a couple from the tips and craft a plan for making things even better between the two of you.

Society desperately needs to see healthy gay couples functioning in successful relationships. Could you be a role model as gay partners if you choose? If so, let us all share the wealth and wisdom with each other as a community, to learn from each other on what it takes! Cheers to your relationship success!

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?



Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!



Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!


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