Gay Dating 101: Love Yourself First

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“If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you’re gonna love somebody else?” – RuPaul

We live in a world that tells us to put our own needs last and that we need to seek validation from other people.
You may have heard “you have to love yourself before you can expect someone else to love you,” and I’m here to say that this rule is really true! Self-love is essential for creating any healthy (emphasis on healthy), sustainable relationship with another person or people.
If you scoff at this principle, let me explain why it’s legit. Think of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, which essentially qualifies what we need in order to survive and thrive as humans, starting with basic biological needs like drinking water and eating food, all the way up to self-actualization, or fulfilling your goals and seeking personal growth. What I want to emphasize here is that you have to take care of your own needs in all of these areas before you can take care of anyone else’s, and that’s the entire premise behind this tool. You can’t be expected to grow food for others if you’re starving yourself, or keep someone safe if you’re in danger. You have to take care of you, first and foremost!
Another way of looking at this would be the safety instructions you hear when you fly on an airplane about oxygen masks. You probably already know them without me telling you, but the flight attendants will always tell you to put your own mask on before you assist others around you. The same principle applies to love.
See what I mean? Love is a need that we all have, but we can’t expect other people to give us love if we aren’t giving it to ourselves. You also can’t expect to truly love another until you love and accept yourself; you can’t give what you don’t have.
Self-love isn’t something that we can really measure, but there are some common indicators you can look for to see if you’re loving yourself enough:
Do you constantly find yourself in relationships with abusive or unappreciative people?
Do you find yourself usually being the one who is more interested in other people?
Do you wonder why people don’t flock to you?
Do you feel like you’ve been stabbed in the heart if someone criticizes you?
Can you not bear the thought of someone not liking you?
Answering yes to more than a few of these questions indicates that you probably need a healthy dose of self-love! If that’s the case, don’t beat yourself up or feel bad about not fully appreciating yourself — it’s not your fault. We live in a world that tells us to put our own needs last and that we need to seek validation from other people. It’s only natural that so many of us feel like we don’t measure up.
We can all work on loving ourselves a little, or a lot, more than we do now. Here are a few tips on how you can bring some more self-love into your life:

1. Say “I Love You.”
I read a lot about people who do a certain exercise: You look into a mirror, into your own eyes, and say “I love you” to yourself. It probably will feel silly or embarrassing at first, but doing this consistently for a few weeks or a month is sure to bring about some internal shift. Why shouldn’t we tell ourselves that we’re loved, especially when we’ll do the same for others almost without thinking?

2. Find Out All The Ways You’re Awesome
If you’re struggling to find lovable qualities about yourself, literally sit down and make a list of all the ways you rock. Think about all of your positive attributes, characteristics, charitable acts, talents, skills, and achievements. You can even keep a running list that you add to and look at when you’re feeling down.

3. Use Your Own Love Language
You may have heard of the Five Love Languages, which is a book and theory created by Gary Chapman that says there is a method of communication that you respond to best in receiving love. Although it’s usually thought of as being a methodology to use for couples, there’s no reason you can’t use it yourself! For instance, my love language is quality time, so if I want to show myself some love, I’ll spend some quality time with myself, engaging in activities that fulfill me and uplift me. One way I do this is by taking a day off in the middle of the week that I can use for fun and restoration.

4. Pump Yourself Up
A great way to reinforce your own self-love is to do things you’re good at and enjoy doing. It could be anything from going for a run to writing a poem, anything that gets your juices flowing and you feel passionate about. I guarantee it will help you to gain clarity in how lovable you are!

5. Use Affirmations
Finally, a great way to get into the self-love flow is to use affirmations on a regular basis, and put positive self-talk into your subconscious mind. You could write them down, say them aloud, or just think them to yourself. The point is to say things to and about yourself that are positive in order to shape your mindset in a positive direction.
Remember, the most important thing is to honor yourself, before anyone else, and in whatever way you find resonates with you the most.
Happy self-loving!

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?



Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!

Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

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Take The Hit: Getting Over Your Fear of Rejection

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Rejection hurts, but it’s the ‘fear’ of rejection that makes it hurt worse. If you want more dating success, you have to learn to take the hit.
For some reason, single gay men everywhere are becoming less confident about making the first move when they see an attractive man giving them the eye. But what truly is the cause?
For a lot of guys in the gay community, it’s hard to compete when there’s so many hot people around. Often times we think we’re not good enough or are afraid of embarrassing ourselves. After all, “keeping it cool” is a major strategy we use when trying to make a good impression. But the truth of the matter is, these fears are only imaginary voices inside our heads. Many times, they’ve been created by either our own insecurities or unfortunate incidents we have yet to heal from.
In order for you to rid yourself of this habit, it’s crucial to give yourself a life review. Go for a walk. Try to remember as far back as you can. Be the detective in tracking down the root of the cause. Once you’re staring at it directly in the face, it becomes much less existent in your life. Trust me, the first step is to find and uncover your own diagnosis. Here’s a few points that might help you along the way:

Rejection Only Hurts as Much as You Allow it to
Here’s why rejection hurts so much: it’s because you give it meaning. You give it power to affect you because you decide how important it is to you. How much rejection hurts is directly proportional to how much emotional investment you have in that rejection.

The “Voices” In Your Head
Insecurity and fear manifest themselves through voices in our head. “He’s totally out of my league” or “He probably has a boyfriend” or “He’d never be interested” or “What if he thinks I’m pathetic?” are all common statements we typically tell ourselves, either consciously or subconsciously.
Many times these voices feel different, sound different, and appear at different times. This is because they’re spawned from different memories within your life, and each circumstance you’re in is probably reflective of that associated trauma. Take it as a hint. Somewhere down the road, have you been tricked into thinking that most attractive guys are out of your league? Does something about this moment feel like déjà vu? Use this as an attempt to find the root of the problem.
These voices inside our head aren’t just holding us back from meeting a potential mate, they also can act as a great tool in deciding if someone’s worth the effort. Knowing that these voices are hidden insecurities and fear, imagine the feeling you get when someone is constantly saying to you, “You’re out of my league.” This, reversely, is how you would appear to them.

“Rejection” Doesn’t Mean You’re Not Good Enough
First of all, let’s stop saying the word “rejection.” The definition of such a word means that someone discards or throws away something that isn’t up to their standards. Overtime, this way of thinking is obviously going to affect our self-worth.
Just because someone says no or is distant from your flirting efforts does not mean that you’re ugly, unworthy, or not good enough. Think about the psychology of it all. People listen to their intuition when they make these kinds of decisions. When someone is obviously detached from making any connection, no matter how hard you think you need to try, it’s really all up to them. So really, it’s their issue. Not yours.
People nowadays aren’t open to find love and are even less open when the opportunity presents itself. Just because someone isn’t making themselves available does not mean it’s your fault. They’re obviously being held down by their own issues. Instead, see it as an opportunity to be proud of yourself for making the move.

Not Everyone You See Is Your Future Husband
Another reason why we tend to beat ourselves up is because we throw all our eggs in one basket. We get so anxious before approaching people that before we even know their name, we’re already picking wedding dates. It’s unlikely the person you approach is as perfect as you think. Remember, they also go to the bathroom just like you – and it’s not pretty.
When you’re not trying, you are less nervous and more able to be yourself. Insecurity is smelled in the air when you’re around more confident people. And simply due to the fact that you’re the one initiating the flirting, the person you’re talking to will naturally be “more confident” just because they have less pressure at that given moment. This makes your desperation more potent. Never let the fear of rejection overshadow your genuine self.

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

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Long-Distance Relationships: Your Survival Guide

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“Maybe we can make this work! Maybe we can have a long-distance relationship that lasts until our separate lives collide and we can live in eternal bliss, together.” — If you have said this before, you might have actually found the one or you are really just in love with each other that distance doesn’t matter. Either way, here are a few tips to keeping it together:
  • Purchase cleaning wipes in bulk. Typing and Skyping with lubey fingers will only lead to damaged keys and smudged screens. You don’t want to explain to the Geek Squad why your laptop keeps sliding out of their hands — to say nothing of what can be found on your hard drive.
  • Don’t analyze every photo of him on Facebook. That image of your new beau being led around on a leash at the leather festival in the gimp mask and ball gag might be entirely innocent.
  • Encourage him to send erotic photos of himself, and be sure to return the favor. Agree that all photos will be deleted after they have been used for their “purpose.” Unless, that is, he is a member of GOProud, in which case, save them for later public humiliation. Consider these photos a bigger bus than the one he will eventually try to throw you under. (Sorry, I have issues with these people.)
  • Keep in mind that geographical separation is often accompanied by differences in time. Failure to consider this may result in unanticipated bitchiness. No one wants a call at 5 a.m. asking, “Whatcha doin’?” in a cutesy voice. It disturbs dreams of shagging Channing Tatum then stealing his shirts and will only lead to arguments later.
  • Never text when drunk, as autocorrect and predictive text can be a hazard. One inconvenient correction can be dismissed as a mistake, but sequential messages of “Bash your hard coal on my face,” and “I can’t wait to ride your coal again” don’t make sense, at best, and at worst, they make it look like you have some sort of fetish for Welsh miners.
  • Choose a tune that you consider “your song” to serve as a musical reminder of your love. Then immediately play it to death until the words lose all meaning. In 10 years, if all goes well, it could be your wedding song. But in the unfortunate event that the relationship has ended, when it comes over the speakers in Walmart, you can drop to the floor in dramatic fashion and weep about the one who got away. Then wait for the discounts from the empathetic sales staff.
  • Don’t get too irate when you can’t reach him. I know it’s hard not to assume the very worst when there has been no contact for more than 10 whole minutes, but chances are he’s busy. Or maybe he’s just at the park having a delightful picnic with an anchorman’s boyfriend. (I love you, Andy! Call me.)
  • Don’t let your single friends’ opinions drive you into thinking this won’t work. They will crucify you for not being available to go cruising with them. If they can’t find love, happiness, and companionship with a headless torso 236-plus feet away, who the hell are they to judge you?
  • The one who travels to the other should have first pick of position. It’s only polite and really should be universally observed gay etiquette.
  • Value the precious times you get to spend visiting the city he calls home. If you run into one of his ex-boyfriends while you’re out, remain calm, polite, and friendly. Resist the urge to scream, “He told me all about that thing you like to do, and I think you’re a freak!” You also won’t make yourself look good by pointing and calling anyone “Jack Nasty!”
Most importantly, despite all the challenges, your long-distance relationships will work if you want it to work. And if it doesn’t, well, you haven’t worked hard enough at it. Hopefully these useful tips will come in handy. Enjoy!

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

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Gay Love Advice: Is Chatting Online Cheating?

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Reader’s Question: 
My boyfriend and I have been in a monogamous relationship together for three years. Recently, I visited a gay dating website and created a profile. I’ve chatted and exchanged pics with guys but have never hooked up with anyone. My profile says “In a relationship” and I specifically say I’m just looking for friends. Last week, my boyfriend went snooping on my laptop, even though it was well hidden, and read some of my conversations. Now he’s pissed and says being on dating sites is “cheating.” I say it’s just fantasy. Who’s right, and who’s wrong? Is chatting online cheating?
― Anthony S.L., 27, New York City

********************
Who’s right? Who’s wrong? You are. He is. It all depends. For some people in committed relationships, gay apps and dating websites are harmless fun. For others it indicates that the unwritten or explicit rules of their relationship need to be revisited. Secrets can damage relationships just as profoundly as actions. I don’t know why you felt the need to keep it hidden, but my guess is that it’s because you knew he wouldn’t approve.
Forget about questioning who’s right and who’s wrong in this situation. Instead, sit down with your man and have an authentic tête-à-tête about the real reason you’re chatting with total strangers. Maybe you feel that your love life has gotten a little stale after three years together, and it makes you feel desirable again. Maybe you’re a hopeless flirt. Maybe you really are just looking for friends. Whatever the reasons are, be open and honest about them, and work toward building his trust back. If he asks you to get off the dating site altogether, decide whether that’s something you’re willing to give up in order to keep him.
Then again, maybe he’s upset because you didn’t invite him to the party. Offer to help him create his own profile so that you can send your dirty dick pics to him rather than to that headless torsos. Better yet, create a profile for the both of you together. You know what they say: Two’s a party, and three’s just a hell of a lot more fun.

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

Gay Dating and the Impact of Social Media

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There are no qualms about it…we live in a digital world now where technology is king and information and immediate gratification is readily available with the click of a button.

It’s even impacted our dating and sex lives.
In a matter of seconds, you can pull up a slew of pornographic images to what your sexual appetite or peruse a gay dating site to scan for potential matches with your cell phone or laptop when you’re on a break from work or traveling home on a subway. It’s that easy now!
But with this quick accessibility and push-button mentality, does it really serve the needs and ultimate prognosis for those single gay men who are seeking a soul mate for a long-term partnership?
Can you find love on Facebook? Is GayDatingSolutions.com and all those other dating sites the answer?
Let’s do an examination of the pros and cons of using social media in your dating efforts to see how it shapes up.

The pros of social media as a dating platform:
In a busy, hectic society when we have little time available to go out socially, if we live in a rural area with lack of access to a visible gay community and find it difficult to decipher who’s gay versus straight when out on the town, social media makes for a great leveraging tool to meet other single gay men.
While we are a lot more “out” and visible than ever before, social media has expanded opportunities for us to meet other men in a way we have never been able to before and has increased the odds of connecting with our single gay cohorts.
Social media has made it possible to get to know someone before actually meeting in person, allowing us to screen for compatibility and saving us time and energy in the process.
As long as this process isn’t too extended, this is a great time management asset.
It’s also a great way to break the ice and can be a good resource for shy guys to practice their social skills.
And let’s face it, it’s titillating! It’s another forum for flirting, confidence-building and revving up the excitement and anticipation of meeting.
But there’s also an inherent risk to this if you’re not careful, as you’ll soon see below.

“Avoid becoming dependent
on one particular dating platform.”


The cons:
Social media is more impersonal and less threatening than face-to-face interactions, therefore it makes one more susceptible to saying or doing things he might not in person and could sabotage a potentially good thing.
Social media has the tendency to accelerate the dating process (or cause it to come to a crashing halt!) if one isn’t cautious.
Because we haven’t met the guy in person to really see his true self, we can begin to build up a fantasy of him in our heads of what we’d like him to be.
Then one or two scenarios can happen:
One, once you meet him in person and the fantasy doesn’t match the reality, all the hopes of a match come crashing down and makes for a very awkward encounter.
Secondly, the fantasy can create an erotic charge that prematurely speeds up the relationship process.
Pacing rituals and the courtship process get thwarted because the connection can get sexualized and boundaries are more likely to get compromised.
What could’ve had a promising future results in a mere hookup situation because a foundation for a relationship didn’t have the chance to properly be established before introducing sex into the equation.
That’s why a great majority of the gay social networking sites are so sexualized. These businesses have capitalized on the fantasy aspect and are raking in millions of dollars because of their recognition of this vulnerability.
And research has shown social media has increased the opportunity and incidence of cheating and affairs for those already in relationships.
Social media can also make communication difficult. The written word in texts or chats can easily be misinterpreted and a lot of erroneous assumptions could be made that might sabotage something from getting off the ground.
Like attorney’s say, “Anything you say in writing can and will be used against you in court.”
Technology can be so easy and addicting that we might be more impulsive and reckless in what we say than we ordinarily would.

So what’s your stance?
Ultimately, you will have to make a personal decision about the role you want social media to play in your dating life after contemplating these (and other) pros and cons.
We are positioning ourselves for loss of human connection and social skill adequacy by relying on technology for our socialization if we’re not careful.
However, by exercising boundaries and good judgment, social media could actually enhance our lives and dating opportunities if used in the right way.
You’ll want to do your due diligence when researching various social networking sites to ensure they market to love and friendship instead of a sexual hookup-based aim if finding a long-term relationship is your modus operandi.
And in the dating world, it will be important to avoid becoming dependent on one particular dating platform to meet your needs. Spread yourself around to a variety of different venues so you have more reach, visibility and opportunities.
What has your experience been like with social media and dating? What are some of your favorite platforms that are truly relationship-minded?

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

2016 is a Great Year for Gay Dating

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OK, so we’re a little late. Happy New Year, and all that stuff. Now let’s get into something more exciting: gay dating. If you’ve been in a rut for a long time and you’re just not sure about getting back in the dating pool, we have one thing to say to you: JUST DO IT!

No, we’re not trying to mock classic advertising slogans. If you’re dreaming about Nikes, that’s your problem. We’re just here to remind you that the person looking back at you in the mirror is a worthy person, and somebody really craves a chance to date you. It might not seem that way — especially for our gay friends in small towns where it feels like you’re the only gay person around. Remember that you’re probably one of the few that have had the courage to stand up and draw attention to the fact that they are indeed gay. There could be dozens more that aren’t ready to come out yet. You should never force someone to come out in order to interact with you, but you can be part of their support system. That matters more than anything else in the world. You just need to make sure that you’re thinking about their happiness too — talk it out and see what stage they’re at. If you’re not where you want to be, seriously consider relocating. There are plenty of gay friendly places around that don’t cost nearly as much as you think. A bigger city can reveal more dating prospects.
If you’re stuck in a rut and you feel like you’re just never going to find the right person to settle down with, answer this: are you honestly looking for someone that’s worth being with? Are you looking for a real relationship, or just a sexual escapade to pass the time? Far too often young gay men confuse the two, and that’s not a good thing either. There is something to be said about waiting to see the relationship develop before you have sex with someone else.
You need to seriously consider dating again, because it has so many benefits. When you’re dating and you feel really good about a new person, it can feel like everything is right in the world. Sure, breaking up is painful but who says that the next relationship won’t last? You have control over that, as long as you don’t give up your control to someone else.
The more thought you put into your gay dating needs, the better off you will be.

Is online dating a good thing for gay men? We think so, but you’re going to want to make sure that you are being as cautious as possible. Make sure that you are meeting in a public place with anyone that wants to see you. Just taking them back to your room could be dangerous — you just never know what anyone’s intentions really are. It could be something that’s really dangerous.
You still want to hold an online date to the same type of standers that you would expect from someone that you want to date in your very own town that you grew up around. You want kindness, understanding, respect, dedication and dignity. That’s something that everyone else wants. There’s no need to feel like it’s impossible to do what you really want in life. 
Everyone deserves love and affection.
It can feel like a long road to honestly find someone that’s worth going out with. Hate to break it to you, but gay dating can be just as complicated as straight dating. Don’t think that just because we’re all gay here that there’s some magical fairy that will just put the right person into your path. You have to go out there and get to know people. Think about some similar interests that you might want to share with someone that. This is the key to finding what you honestly want. That’s the only way that you’re going to connect everything together. It’s tempting to just throw up your hands and say that you won’t be able to get what you truly desire. But you know what? Quitting doesn’t care about your sexual preference — can you really accept just closing the door on all of the possibilities?

Think about it. Good luck!

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

Dating Again? 5 Tips for Every Single Gay Man

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Being a single gay man is not the worst thing in the world. You have the time to do the activities you enjoy without compromise; you have the freedom to go on as many dates/hook-ups as possible; you don’t have to worry about someone else’s social media activity. But regardless of all the reasons you can come up with to feel good about being single, you may be secretly hoping that your soul mate is right around the corner. So while you enjoy the wonders of being single, here are the top 5 things every single gay man needs to do in preparation for meeting his other half.

5. Have a sense of humor
The gay man is known among his group of friends for his witty observations, sarcastic comebacks and brutal honesty. So chances are you already have a sense of humor, which will come in handy when you go on a date. Mainly because all single gay men will inevitably experience their fair share of weird, awkward and just plain bad dates, and a good sense of humor will help you recover from the disastrous dates. And also because a good sense of humor makes you attractive and fun when you meet a potential match.

4. Work on your physical appearance
Let’s be honest here. A gay man on a date will judge you by your looks. And you can’t blame him; he hasn’t had a chance to get to know your amazing personality yet, so the first impression he’ll have about you is the size of your waist and your fabulous outfit. Make sure you have a gym membership (and actually show up to the gym regularly), and also work on your personal style.

3. Be a good listener
We all know you have a talent to enlighten and entertain a crowd with your passionate conversation, but it’s also important to let others enlighten and entertain you with theirs. So, once in a while, listen to what others have to say and be an active listener. Being an active listener means that you stay on topic and comment on what the other person is saying. When he’s telling you all about one of his exciting experiences, don’t interrupt him with a similar tale of your own. Most importantly, don’t throw in unrelated remarks or compliments. If all goes well, there will be plenty of time to compliment him on his good looks later when the clothes start to come off.

2. Embrace solitude
Now we’re getting to the serious stuff. Before someone else can enjoy your company, you need to learn to enjoy your own company. There’s a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. We want you to embrace being alone. There’s a good chance that most single gay men out there take advantage of the vibrant scene the city has to offer. But after all the fun, don’t be afraid to spend time with yourself. Do activities that bring personal satisfaction and make you happy. Once you feel comfortable in solitude and know all the insights of your life, you’re ready for the number one aspect you need to work on to put yourself on the dating market.

1. Nurture the most important relationship you could ever have, the one with yourself
Frankly, this is the only one that truly applies to everyone. Having a good relationship with yourself is the foundation to having a successful relationships with others. Start by embracing your strengths and weaknesses, then work on connecting with your own emotions. This will help you become emotionally available to your future partner. And like any other relationship, you should have respect, trust and love for yourself.

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

Top Rules For Successful Gay Dating

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The words rules and gay should ideally never appear together in the same sentence. For better or for worse, I do believe in rules, if only because I want to know them before I break them.

Here in L.A., we are blessed with the gift of unlimited options. During the winter, we have the choice of heading to the mountains to ski , the beach for some sun or to the valleys for some wine tasting. When we order our dinner, we can choose the dressing on the side, gluten free, egg whites only, hold the bread please- option from the menu.
So, when it comes all the options in the gay world of dating, why do we often forget that even have options available at all?
For example:
We date a guy who is super hot- but has no job.
(or)
We date a guy who only wants an open relationship- because we fear of being alone.
And last but not least,
We date a guy who will (not) come out to his family and would like to keep your relationship a secret. 

All of these options are self destructive and can only lead to heartbreak. So why do we continue to sell ourselves short?  Are we incapable of deciphering the right and wrong path to take when it comes to the matters of the heart?
To help everyone out, I have decided that I will share with you my “Top Rules For Successful Gay Dating”
  • Rule 1. “Let Go Of the Past”

    Every gay man has stories about “coming out”, childhood, family, fear and broken hearts. These are things that color our past but often get confused with what defines us today. It is important to take what has happened to us in the past and use it as knowledge and wisdom and not for something that completely defines who we are and what we are capable of.
    Starting today… let go and create a clean slate in your life. This is so important to be happy not only in your life- but in your relationships.

  • Rule 2. “Be A Gentleman”

    There is nothing sexier to me than when a guy is well mannered. You can have all the money in the world or be extremely good looking- but if you are an asshole- that is all I will see.  So try holding a door open, saying please or thank you- “be courteous”!
    The art of being a Gentleman is long forgotten art and if you can sprinkle it into your life, it will become one of the most attractive things about you.

  • Rule 3.  “Be Chivalrous”

    They often say “Chivalry Is Dead” which I ninety percent agree with. So this is your chance to (as Cher would say) TURN BACK TIME!
    Be the guy who shows up to a date dressed up and not in a t-shirt. Be the guy who opens the car door and surprises their date with their favorite restaurant.
    All these little things matter, and they are important to having a healthy relationship. If you do not channel your inner Mr. Darcy, you will never win over the heart of a good man.

  • Rule 4. “Test Drive, Just Don’t Buy Car”

    We often talk about sex as gay men. How can we not- we are men. It’s in our DNA to be aggressive, alpha and sexual. But when it comes to deciding if we should put out on the first date- its best to slow things down or just be another statistic.
    Sure- sexual attraction is often overwhelming. Half the time I have been on dates all I can think of is how I want to rip the guys clothes off. But this mindset is once again self-destructive behavior.
    Im not saying you can’t make out or heck even do a little dry humping. But just don’t buy the car on our first test drive! If you want the relationship, hold off.
    It’s kind of sexy to build the tension anyway.

  • Rule 5. “Be Assertive”

    Last but not least, be assertive. There is no bigger turn off than a man that cannot commit to a timely follow up. If you like the guy- tell him. Plan the next time you want to see them.
    In a world with technology that enables us to communicate in ten different ways- there is absolutely no excuse to tell you date you had a great time and that you want to see them again.
    If you continue to be the guy who waits till Wednesday for a Saturday plan- you’ll be the guy alone till he is 80 years old.

Incidentally, all these same rules apply to when you are asking someone out (or being asked)on a first date too- so don’t get it confused. Assertiveness should rule all aspects of “committing” to your dating schedule.
Don’t be a flake!
Okay folks, there it is- my Top Rules For Successful Gay Dating.
I beg you to start instituting them immediately and I promise you they will change your love life. They are a simple start to a long-term plan we have to bring happiness back into your life and weeding out all the creeps that keep making their way into dating diet.
Have Fun!

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

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Gay Dating 101: The Things You Should Never Talk About

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Dating is a lot of fun, but it also can be quite terrifying. We never know what’s going on inside his head, but we sure as hell can control what comes out of our mouths. Certain topics you might think are safe, for the most part, can end up sending you on a nosedive. Here are a few you should stay away from:


#1) Your Sex Position.

As much as you want to know if he’s a top or bottom, it’s not going to be very classy bringing it up on a date (especially the first one). It can be pretty tempting when you’ve had a few drinks between you, but try to keep the focus on building a connection that’s emotional.

#2) Your Sob Story.

No one wants to hear about how dysfunctional your family is, how your ex left you with nothing, or how sad or depressed you are because of x, y, z. The goal is to have FUN on a date, not make him (or you) sad. Keep the sob stories to yourself.

#3) Everything That Annoys You.

You don’t want to seem too bitchy at the beginning, so lay off the constant complaints about everything: the waiter, the food, your friends, the décor. This isn’t a reality show and you aren’t here to judge anything. Simply have a good time and embrace positivity.

#4) Yourself.

The point of a date is to get to know each other, sure, but there’s a fine line between letting him know who you are as a person and making it all about you: “I did this, I did that, I worked with so-and-so, I’m a big deal…” It can turn into a pitch real quick if you let it.

#5) Your Money Situation.

Money is something that shouldn’t be brought up other than a simple, “I’m comfortable” or “I’m still working my way up.” Frankly it’s no one’s business but your own when it comes to personal finances. More often than not we think it’s a make or break situation—if I don’t make X amount of money, he’ll lose interest, so I need to talk about it. Trust me, you don’t want to sell your bank account. You want to sell yourself.

#6) Your Failing Health.

Chronic illness sucks, but leave it at the hospital. Nothing squeezes the energy down quicker than someone bringing up their failing health on a date. It can either scare them away or make them feel incredibly awkward. There’s nothing to gain from talking about it.

#7) Your Exes.

Leave the past behind you, especially the men. Don’t bring up your crummy ex-relationship because it will only make you seem unavailable. You want him to know that you’re an open book and looking ahead to the future, rather than the past.

#8) Your Addictions.

You may have been addicted to sex, drugs, or pot. But wait a few dates before you tell him about it, especially the stories behind them. You might scare a man away if you tell him about the crazy sex encounter you had five years ago.

#9) Your Demands.

It’s okay to have non-negotiables, but for God’s sake at least wait until you know each other a little better before you present “the list.” He’s a man, not a customer service rep. Relish in an organic connection before you present a practical side of things.

#10) Your Corrections.

I’ve been on dates where guys feel the need to “correct” my wrongs. This is never a good idea. You don’t want to seem like a control freak, especially about small things like clothing options, restaurant choices, or how to kiss better. You’ll make him feel inadequate and judged. Leave it to yourself.

There’s a fine line between getting to know someone and digging a little too deep, so try to think before you speak. Don’t want to make him uncomfortable. Have you ever been asked an awkward question during a date? Are there any topics that would send you running for the hills?

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

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College Dating Tips for Gay Men

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When you’re a gay student in college, you might feel like you have fewer options for finding a date compared to your heterosexual classmates. It’s true that there are certainly a few more challenges for dating within the gay community in college.
Some of the challenges with gay dating in college may have to do with the school you attend or the place where your college is located. For example, what if your school has a very small LGBT student population? What if you attend school in a small town with no gay bars? Meanwhile, students may also have to deal with prejudices or judgments from their classmates.
Whatever the case may be, don’t let those obstacles discourage you. Instead, be proactive about your dating life. The following are five ways for gay college students to improve their options on the dating scene.

College Dating Tips for Gay Men:

1. Join Advocacy Groups
One of the quickest and easiest ways to meet other gay students on campus is to join an advocacy group. Most colleges today have a Gay-Straight Alliance club, Gay Rights Advocacy Group or other student group that deals with LGBT issues. Check out which clubs your college has to offer and consider signing up. The more involved you get, the more you’ll get to know about the other people in your group to see if sparks fly with anyone. Being able to join groups with people who share similar interests or backgrounds is a huge advantage of attending college, so take advantage of it.

2. Find Gay-Friendly Local Businesses
Another way to meet other people in the LGBT community is to look for local bars, restaurants, cafes and shops which are particularly gay-friendly. This will be a snap in most urban areas, but you may have to do a little more research in smaller towns. The pay-off is worth it, though: these establishments are great places to not only meet potential matches – they also make a great location for a date.

3. Go Online
You can also put your dating life on the fast track with the help of online dating services. Students looking to use these sites to improve their love life will find that, although there are plenty of LGBT-only online dating services, some of the most popular sites among heterosexual students are actually just as effective.
You can also try GayDatingSolutions.com, which is a popular choice for gay singles.

4. Meet People Off Campus
One of the major challenges for some students is having a small LGBT student population at their school. For example, even at a liberal-leaning school like Rice University, less than 14% of students identify as something other than heterosexual (homosexual, bisexual, etc.). Therefore, you may need to venture off campus to find a potential date.
Try going to local gay bars or other gay-friendly establishments to strike up a conversation with potential matches. You can also join a group or club outside of school to widen your social circle a bit. It doesn’t have to be related to LGBT causes – just aim to meet new people. Even if you just make new friends, those friends may be instrumental in introducing you to other potential dates outside of your student population.

5. Pay Attention to Personal Interactions
Heterosexual students have it easier in many ways, but one of the most significant advantages they have is the basic cultural assumption that most people are heterosexual. As a member of the LGBT community, you probably already realize that a significant challenge in your dating life is figuring out who is straight and who’s not.
In these situations, LGBT students are advised to pay attention to the subtleties of your personal interactions. Strike up a conversation and make eye contact. See if the person you’re talking to is responding. It takes a little more effort to be hyperaware, but it could help you find a potential match in the place where you least expect it.

Quick Tips
  • The Campus Climate Index is an excellent source for locating information about various colleges’ records on LGBT issues.
  • Look for local gay singles meet-ups and other LGBT dating events in your area on sites like GayDatingSolutions.com as an additional way to meet potential dates.
  • Don’t forget to focus on the whole college experience, not just your love life. Take interesting classes, join sports teams and clubs and meet new people. There’s a good chance that immersing yourself in the college experience could lead you to an eventual romance anyway.

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!


Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101